"My Resting Place" - 04/28/14 - Psalm 81, 88, 92, 93

"Your Throne ever firm - You're Eternal!" (93:2)     


What am I standing before?  Is it idols I have created and worship or is it my ABBA - sitting on His Throne.  The Almighty.  The Eternal.  What do I place my faith, my hope, my joy, my all in?  Do I go before Him each day and crawl up into His lap?  Do I take for granted that He delights in me?  That all He desires is "me"?  "Me" to come before Him continually?  To share "me" with Him? 


My ABBA isn't sitting on a Throne away from me.  He sits on a Throne that includes me.  It's my choice to act upon His outstretched arms.  Arms which want nothing more than to encircle me.  Arms which want nothing more than to hold me next to His Heart.
                                                                    

"Spilling Over" - 04/24/14 - Psalm 43-45, 49, 84,85, 87

My heart bursts its banks, spilling beauty and goodness.(45:1)


Everywhere my eyes fall upon, I am seeing it.  Spring is bursting out in His landscape.  My breath is taken away by His vibrant colors appearing in places where yesterday, there was only the stark, bare, darkness of winter.   The snow white blooms of the Bradford Pear mingled in by the purple of the red bud standing next to it - and I look in Awe.  The heavy yellow, purple, orange, red, blooms of the tulips and daffodils bob in the wind.  Their thin, green stems, standing firm as they hold up weight that defies their size.  A kiss of warmth in the winds He is releasing from His storehouse.  The snow white clouds dancing in the blue skies overhead.  The heat from His rays of sunshine becoming stronger each passing day.  Different tones of green rapidly disappear under the deck of my mower, the smell of fresh cut grass envelopes me.   How He shows off to us through His gift of spring. 


Spring is bursting its banks. 


Spring is spilling beauty and goodness.


I wonder - how is my heart?  Is it as the spring?  Is it still snuggled down in the comfort zone of warmth?  Is it so full of Him, it is bursting at its banks?  Or is it complacent?  How am I living for and in Him?  Is my life such, that when I am seen, it is Him that is bursting through?  Is each part of me spilling beauty and goodness of Him?  Am I Christlike in my love, my living?


His Love is bursting its banks.


His Love is spilling beauty and goodness. 

"Mapped Out" - 04/22/14 - Psalm 6, 8-10, 14, 16, 19, 21

The morning sun's a new husband leaping from his honeymoon bed, The daybreaking sun an athlete racing to the tape.  That's how God's Word vaults across the skies from sunrise to sunset, Melting ice, scorching deserts, warming hearts to faith.   The revelation of God is whole and pulls our lives together. The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road.  The life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes.  God's reputation is twenty-four-carat gold, with a lifetime guarantee. The decisions of God are accurate down to the nth degree.  God's Word is better than a diamond, better than a diamond set between emeralds. You'll like it better than strawberries in spring, better than red, ripe strawberries.   There's more: God's Word warns us of danger and directs us to hidden treasure.   Otherwise how will we find our way? Or know when we play the fool?   Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh! Keep me from stupid sins, from thinking I can take over your work; Then I can start this day sun-washed, scrubbed clean of the grime of sin.  These are the words in my mouth; these are what I chew on and pray. Accept them when I place them on the morning altar, O God, my Altar-Rock, God, Priest-of-My-Altar. (19:5-14)


So thankful for the "roadmap" of life He has provided for me.  So blessed His Word is buried within my heart creating a heart transformation.  So much "meat" to chew on throughout my moments.  So delighted in "seeing" all of life through His Words.  So secure in "living" life guided by His Words. 


So "in" love with His Word - my own personal love letter from my ABBA!

"The Reason" - 04/19/14 - I Samuel 28-31, Psalm 18

"But me He caught - reached all the way from sky to sea; He pulled me out that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning.  They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me.  He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there saved - surprised to be loved!  God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before Him. When I got my act together, He gave me a fresh start.   Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted.  Every day I review the ways He works; I try not to miss a trick.  I feel put back together, and I'm watching my step.  God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to His eyes.  The good people taste your goodness" (Psalm 18:16-25)




The reason for our Savior.  For Easter.  

"Embrace Him" - 04/18/14 - Psalm 17, 35, 54, 63

God - you're my God! I can't get enough of You! I've worked up such hunger and thirst for God, traveling across dry and weary deserts.   So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in Your strength and glory. In Your generous love I am really living at last! My lips brim praises like fountains.   I bless You every time I take a breath; My arms wave like banners of praise to You.  I eat my fill of prime rib and gravy; I smack my lips. It's time to shout praises!  If I'm sleepless at midnight, I spend the hours in grateful reflection.  Because You've always stood up for me, I'm free to run and play.  I hold on to You for dear life, and You hold me steady as a post." (63:1-8)





He has given us "Good Friday" - embrace Him with all you are.


"It was 20 years ago that I enjoyed the privilege of portraying Jesus in the film The Gospel of Matthew.  The experience was life-changing as I came to understand The Lord in ways I'd never imagined.  I discovered His joy, His heartbreak, and the fire of His passion.  I also discovered how remarkably alone Jesus was when He walked the earth.


After all, who could possibly understand a man whose thoughts and ways were so astoundingly removed from those of any other person?  Even His closest companions never "got it" until after He'd ascended to His Father.  How alone does that leave a man - especially that Golgotha day? 


When we filmed the crucifixion scenes of Matthew, I arrived on the set after a three-hour make-up job that was so authentic none of the film crew could bear to look at me.  I recall thinking of that scripture, "He was....like one from whom men hid their face" (Isa. 53:3), and realizing it was very real.


Then the filming began and the brutality was remarkable.  We were just "faking it," and the awfulness was indescribable.  I remember hanging there and seeing the faces all around me, just staring.  A little girl from the local village where we were filming just cried and cried.  They all would have loved to help me somehow.  But it was something I had to go through alone.


I thought of Jesus looking out and seeing His mother, John, and others.  As much as they loved Him, there was no way they could understand His motivations that day.  As much as they'd have loved to somehow help Him, it was something He had to do - alone.


Then came the moment of alone beyond alone.  "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" (Matt. 27:46).  And you and I could be born again.


Today is a day to shed all our wanting and live as The Lord desires:  thankful.  We have the privilege of understanding Him as those who walked by His side never could, and our response can be nothing other than to fall on our faces in profound gratitude.  Glory to Jesus!!!!!" - Bruce Marchiano

"Putting on Shame" - 04/15/14 - Psalm 7, 27, 31, 52

"I trusted in the generous mercy of God then and now.  I thank You always that You went into action. And I'll stay right here, Your good name my hope, in company with Your faithful friends. (52:8-9)


There are times when I physically cringe.  When my path comes across someone from my past and I pick up and again dress myself in the garment of "shame".  I allow "shame" to cover up the transformation ABBA has taken and clothed me in.  Much like a ratty, dirty, old bathrobe. 


My mind becomes focused on the mistakes I made.  The places of sin I wallowed in.  The missed opportunities when I could have been a Vessel for Him and instead WAS (I stress WAS) a vessel for and of sin.  I focus on me, instead of my Savior.  My Savior who was hung on the cross and took upon Himself all - all - my sins.  All - all - of my shame. 


He did that so I could be ABBA's.  So I could live my life intimately "in" the world of ABBA.  My Savior took that old bathrobe and cast it aside. 


And then there I am, in certain situations, digging through the decay of garbage, retrieving the bathrobe of sin, and putting it on.  Hearing the words of lies.  Picking up "doubt". 
""


But then, my ABBA begins to speak.  Softly I hear His Voice, coming from my heart, where I have buried His Words.  I am cleansed from "shame", from "sin".  I am covered in His Blood. 


I am His. 
I am His Beloved.


He gently takes my face into His Hands, leading my eyes into His, where I drink in His Truth.  He surrounds me with those who are "in" Him, who see me in love.  Who see me as His.  Who have given me the gift of mercy, as they have been given mercy. 


And He removes the bathrobe of shame, casting it aside, revealing me, clothed in His Truth. 

One of the pieces of my heart, Julie Duffy, posted this the other day on Blog Through The Word.  So goes with all of the Psalms reading today!


"I heard this beautiful song by Jason Gray yesterday. What an awesome reminder that Christ died on the cross to make us new!

Now I won't deny
The worst you could say about me
But I'm not defined by mistakes that I've made...
Because God says of me

I am not who I was
I'm being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved
I am new
Who I thought I was
And who I thought I had to be
I had to give them both up
Cause neither were willing
To ever believe
I am not who I was
I'm being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved
I am new
I am new
Too long have I lived in the shadow of shame
Believing that there was no way I could change
But the one who is making everything new
Doesn't see me the way that I do
He doesn't see me the way that I do
"I am not who I was
I'm being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved
I am new
I am new
I am not who I was
I'm being remade
I am new
Dead to the old man, I'm coming alive
I am new
I am new
Forgiven, beloved
Hidden in Christ
Made in the image of the Giver of Life
Righteous and holy, reborn and remade
Accepted and worthy
This is our new name
This is who we are now..."

"Nothing!" - 04/10/14 - I Samuel 9-12

"God is witness, and his anointed is witness that you find nothing against me - no faults, no complaints." (12:5)





What a blessing being His anointed - In Christ - because of Christ - we stand before our ABBA - no faults - no complaints!  Leaving the burden behind and living life in the freedom of knowing - I am cleansed by the power of His Blood!  May you too "become what you believe" - His.

"Original" - 04/09/14 - I Samuel 4-8

Then we'll be just like all the other nations. (8:20)


It is such a temptation to compare ourselves to others.  When we do, we end up doing one of two things, or both.  Either we end up wallowing in self-pity - envy - jealousy - because the grass looks greener over there for "them" or we become self-righteous in comparing and convincing ourselves  we are "better than".


We end up serving and focusing on "self".



One of my hobbies is building birdhouses.  Taking cast off "junk" and incorporating it into an original design.  Each one is different and unique. ABBA created each one of us in His Image.  He took the "best elements" and even though we threw in some "junk", He still uses all of us, every bit, for His Glory.


When I am focused on Him, I find it exciting and thankful, knowing I am "one-of-a-kind".  Knowing He designed me for His Glory and to do a "job" that only I can do.  I am part of His Body - The Church - and He has a plan for me.


How often do I find myself looking at other women and wishing.  Wishing I was as pretty, as thin, as confident, as outgoing, and sometimes as financially and socially placed where they are.  Before He transformed my heart, I was consumed with this way of thinking and it tore me down.  It caused me to be even more insecure and feel more inadequate.  I see now, looking back, self and satan were wallowing and focusing on "doubt". 


Throughout His Love Letter to me, I read His personal message.  "I am fearfully and wonderfully made", "I am His desire", "for He loved me so much He gave His only Son".  Over and over He reaffirms to me, I am His, specially created, for a special use, for Him. 


Why ever do I submit then to the occasional thinking and wishing I were like other "nations".  Why ever do I think my "design" would be better than His?  In transforming my heart, He is showing me that the best comes from Him being within me.  The more of Him within, the more of Him shines through for others to see.  This True, Radiant Beauty, is what draws others to Him. 


"He that getteth wisdom loveth his own soul" (Proverbs 19:8)
In learning to love me as He loves me, nothing else matters. 


It isn't about "me" - it is all about Him. 


I know now, without a doubt, He made me original.  Sure, I still struggle with comparing and will until I die.  Thankfully, I find more often than not, I am living life in His security.  Each day I look forward to the "Divine Appointments" He has set up for me.  For me.  Knowing the "me" He created is who He needs to be part of the mixture.  


But, it is my choice to follow His lead.  To be different "in" Him.


The Designer's original!!!

"Hannah" - 04/08/14 - I Samuel 1-3

"Hannah - whom I draw Strength from" - 04/09/13 - 1 Samuel 1:9-4:11

“After the child is weaned, I’ll bring him myself and present him before God—and that’s where he’ll stay, for good.” (1:22)



Hannah


What a woman of faith.  Of love for her Abba.  Of love for her child. 

Her Samuel. 

A true mommy who presented him before God and left him at the temple because that was what was best for her child.  She wanted him to be with God, even if it meant sacrificing her time to a once a year visit.  Aside from this yearly visit, scripture doesn't say if other visits occurred.  Regardless if they did or not, Samuel was not with her in their home.  She wasn't there to receive the day to day blessings of being a mommy.  She didn't get to experience all the "firsts" in his life.  She wasn't able to tuck him into bed, brush his hair from his eyes as he excitedly shared something about life.  His skinned up knees weren't there for her to kiss, to hold Samuel in comfort as he cried in pain.  She wasn't there on those nights when they lay so far apart in the dark.  Samuel, a small child, three to five years old, laying there alone in the dark, crying for his mommy.  Hannah, lying there in the dark, aching for her child, the child she begged God for. 

The child she gave back to God.

Because of her great love for God.










Her love for God that surpassed any other loves she had - even that for her Samuel.

Does my love for God surpass any other loves that I have?  Am I selfish with my loves?  Are my loves really about my needs, my wants, my desires?  Do I make my loves my god? 

I used to. 

My loves, which I made into my god were my Adam and Nichalas.  They were who I got my worth from, filled my voids, who I sacrificed to.  My putting them above every other love was damaging all my other relationships, particularly with God and Curt.   I put them into a position that they weren't able to handle.  I think about how my worshiping them was so destructive.  I honestly thought my worshiping  them with so much love and honor would build them up, make them more of the men God designed them to be.  It didn't.  They weren't designed to fill my voids.  Only God can do that.  I was only adding pressure to them. 

God in His awesomeness changed me, changed my heart to fall "in" love with Him and put Him as my first love.  In my heart change, I gave my sons over to Him.  They really weren't mine to begin with.  God has blessed me with the gift of them and I realized for them to become the men God designed them to be - I had to step back.  They had to walk on their own "in" God.  I had to sacrifice them to Him.

Yes, there has been pain in my heart putting them in their rightful place.  I draw strength in the example of Hannah and her great faith.  Even before she knew God had blessed her with a child,  "Then she ate heartily, her face radiant." (1:18)  She had absolute faith that God, as her first love, would take care of her - no matter His decision.   I draw strength in her giving up her Samuel to Eli, a stranger that didn't even recognize her when she came back to leave Samuel.  Her strength in God - that He would take care of the gift she was giving back to Him. 


I draw strength from her in giving up my loves
                                                                        that I have put above my love for God.

               

"Cancer of Sin" - 04/06/14 - Judges 19-21

"They asked, “Shall we again march into battle against the Benjaminites, our brothers? Or should we call it quits?”
And God said, “Attack. Tomorrow I’ll give you victory.” (20:28)

There are times the cancer we are to be rid of is someone we thought of as a "brother".  There are times when a "brother" is one we shake the dust from our feet because their fruits/actions are destroying us.  Our "brothers" are to lift us up, make us feel loved, honored, cherished, wanted and hold us accountable.  But, if the measuring stick they are using to hold us accountable is their own and not God's - they are a hindrance in our  growing "in" God.  They are trying to mold you into their way of thinking, their standards, their rules. 

It is all about them.

Just like cancer.  It doesn't care about making your body healthy - it is set on destroying you.

The you God created you to be. 

I have been praying that God will open my eyes and others to His Truth.  And yes,  He has been opening my eyes to so many Scriptures that show me where I am or not standing firm "In" Him.  His Word is my measuring stick and He is ridding me of the "cancer" that is in my heart.  He is replacing it with His healthy Truth and transforming it.  He is also showing me that in order to cleanse my heart, that also entails putting up healthy boundaries. 

I have finally come to the place of knowing that although He doesn't want separation, He has instructions for us to "shake the dust from our feet".  Christ told us that He came into this world to divide.  To divide us from sin - sin that becomes a cancer within us.  "Shaking the dust" doesn't mean I haven't forgiven, that I no longer love those persons, it just means that I can not walk in gray in order to belong.  It means that when someone is telling me it is their way or the highway, I can choose the highway because what they are demanding of me, isn't the same of what God is demanding.  He doesn't rule with double standards, these type of persons are only about what benefits them.

These persons come from all over, even from within the church.  He is opening my eyes to the Truth that they are wolves in sheep clothing and how much destruction they leave in their path.

 

Time after time in Scripture we see examples of how God rid His people of the cancer.  The verses today are not about strangers in the land, but their "brothers", the Benjaminites.  Can you imagine the mixed emotions some of these people were going through?  Perhaps some of them knew each other.  Shared life with them.  Were even friends. 

God is adamant about our not walking in this journey and flirting with sin.  He is telling, us you can not play with fire without getting burnt.  No matter how quick you think you are.  Once sin gets a hold of you - you are taking the chance of your heart becoming hard towards God and going to the place of eternal fire.  Totally separated from Him.

As long as we are able to see that our fruits are His, by using all of Scripture as our measuring stick, we then know we are walking in Truth.  He didn't promise this journey would be without pain, but did promise us we would have total victory "in" Him.  Christ suffered beyond what we ever will for standing firm "in" Him.   

We have courage and hope when remembering the pain of shaking the dust, isn't near what the pain of the cancer would be.  

"Ripples" - 04/04/14 - Judges 13-15

Drama - What I think of as I read through these verses of Samson's life. 


                                                                      


How he goes from being a servant for God into a servant for self.  Eating honey from a dead lion carcass?  Why would he even want to go back and check on the carcass?  Not only was he becoming unclean by touching the carcass - he ate honey from it!  Along with the bees -there would have been maggots, flies and stench.  But then, why do we constantly go back and look at sin.  Before you know it, you're down on your knees, reaching into the decay, eating of it, sin now becoming a part of you. 

 I too, have and do the same, as did Samson.  Going back to check out sin - sitting down to eat of what I think is too good to pass up, ignoring the filth it is surrounded by.  Ignoring the way the filth of sin will cling to me - become a part of me as it passes through my lips. 

This proves that we alone can not even be around sin - it will consume us.  It is only through Christ we are protected.  Only In Him are we in a shield that is impenetrable. 

There is a flip side of the lion's carcass.

It is us in sin.  Dead.  Only God can transform total ugliness of sin into the pure sweet honey. 

Don't miss out an important fact in these verses.  Samson gave his parents the honey without telling them where it came from.  In their eating of it, they unknowingly became unclean.  When Jesus left, He left us to continue as His vessels in making disciples.  One drop of water creates a ripple.   Our  living life is a drop of water.  Every single thing you do has consequences - good or bad - touching  lives all around you.  Those who are living and those to come - even those who are gone that were once in your life.  When you look into the mirror, deep into your soul, ask yourself - what are you passing on? 

Are you a part of our Living God, passing on to all His pure sweet honey - the gift of Him, eternal life.

Or are you a part of the carcass of sin - the decayed, maggot infested, stench of eternal death.

What is your ripple? 

"This verse" - 04/03/14 - Judges 10-12

"They just walked off and left God, quit worshiping Him." (10:6)


                                                                                     


How do you ever come to this place - just walking off and quit worshiping Him? 


This verse hits me in such a way it leaves a hollow ache in my heart for those that succumb to the call of self and satan. 


No matter where we walk - we  never stop worshiping - it is either our ABBA or self and satan. 


This verse gives me peace and thankfulness.  Without a doubt, I know I am His and He is mine. 
I worship my ABBA. 


This verse gives me urgency.  Within moments, persons are brought to mind who have chosen to walk on their own, who live life for self and satan. 


This verse gives me desire to be His vessel, His Warrior, for the Divine Appointments He has set before me.


This verse gives me awareness to be on the watch for satan who roams the earth looking to devour.  An awareness that time is passing too soon, too fast and how am I using what He has given me.


This verse is a reminder to "Go as I live, making Disciples for Him". 


This verse - what does it give you.........

"Sayin it like it is" - 04/02/14 - Judges 8-9

"They were men much like you," they said, "each one like a king's son."(8:18)





Often, in a time of insecurity,  I put myself up on a pedestal, "like a king's daughter".  You know, to help deceive me into believing I am better than someone (self-righteous), not as much of a sinner (denial - a sin is a sin), or using this false sense of security to overcome attacks (defensive).  He has time after time knocked my feet out from under me, onto my knees, so I am able to look up (instead of down my nose) at Him.  He continually "reworks" me into a Christlike person and for all of this I am so thankful. 


Really!  The less of me = the more of Him = beyond wonderful, way of living life.   Living life under "The King" and not my own idea of "a king"


And how much I love our ABBA's sense of humor.  The way He has about putting me in my right place.  Or telling it like it is, when I am not seeing things as they are.


Yesterday, we completed job #1 of our spring cleanup.  After weed eating for more than a couple hours straight, mowing and other yard work, I was feeling the back pain last night.  I was also feeling my age.  After showering, I decided to let the hair go natural in exchange for a much needed rest on the couch.  When I looked into the mirror this am, I regretted that decision (particularly when I remembered we have church tonight).  I was feeling really well physically, amazed at what a good night rest and a few Ibuprofen can do.  Yep, feeling so good physically was causing me to think I didn't look quite my age - regardless of the hair.


Our landline has been on the fritz for about a month now.  It has a short in it and the tech has been here more than once trying to find it.  So - here I am this morning.  In my gown with a t-shirt over it (looks like a skirt and top - thank the Lord my pasty white legs are shaved - I know TMI), no makeup, with the wild hair thing going on.  Guess who is ringing our doorbell!  While answering the door, I pretended Andy (yes, by now we are on a first name basis) wouldn't notice.  Avoiding mirrors has given me the gift of believing almost anything! 


Upon his recommendation during his last visit, we had purchased new phones and the old ones were still on the countertop.  I struggled with this as the old phones seemed fine.  After rechecking, disconnecting all unused jacks, new phones he is hoping the problem is fixed.  Standing there by our old phones he said, "Yeah, that is a really old phone.  Really old.  It looks like something we had when I was growing up". 


My reply was something about, "why replace something when it isn't broken".  My mind though was on a totally different circuit.  However could he say that!  Indicating we were old enough to have "really" old phones.  Yes, he was young enough to be my son, but I surely didn't look old enough! 


We are so used to seeing ourselves in the mirror every day, we don't see the aging going on.  How often I find myself seeing someone from years ago and think, "wow they've aged" and at the same time believing I haven't.  Sin works the same way.  When we are living in it daily, we become tolerant of it.  We set ourselves above God's Word, thinking we are untouchable. 


In reality, sin will consume us - just as the years are aging us. 


That is why it is essential to look into His Word, His Mirror, for the real picture of ourselves.


To ensure we truly are "each one, like The King's son or daughter."

"The Gideon in me" - 04/01/14 - Judges 6-7

It isn't just Gideon, it is me too.  And you.  It is all of us.


How often do we throw back at ABBA - "If"?


There isn't any doubt within myself regarding Jesus.  I believe with all I am He came into this world, became human, lived amongst the world, giving us the example the example we need to be Warriors for ABBA. I believe with all I am He was raised upon The Cross as The Ultimate Sacrifice for all sin. I believe with all I am He rose from the grave - He is Alive! I believe with all I am, My Savior, Jesus, overcame death and now resides with my ABBA in Heaven. I believe with all I am - He has saved me. I believe with all I am The Holy Spirit resides within me. I believe with all I am His Word is a personal love letter from Him.

Faith.


Yet, how often is "if" in my reaction to Him? He instructs me not to worry and yet I do. He promises me He is in total control, yet there are times I doubt. He has assured me through His Word, throughout history He is in total control and all is for His Glory, yet how often do I believe my time, my way is better?


Faith.

Just like Gideon, after all the amazing miracles ABBA preformed for and through him, he still threw up, "if". It baffles me how I am completely, without any hesitation, believing He is my Savior, yet I, in the next step, wonder "if". In reflection of my life, I see over and over the times He was and is there, and yet I sometimes cling to the "if".

Why is it I am able to have complete faith in the "big" things, yet not the day to day "small things". There is nothing more important than the salvation of my soul, yet I find the other things are what causes me to "if".

Or do the "Doubting Thomas".

There isn't a need for me to see the nail holes for me to believe He is the Savior of my soul - so why do I doubt, at times, He is The Savior for the day to day stuff of life.............