Thursday, June 07, 2007


"Who makes lightnings for the rain; Who brings forth the wind from His treasuries."
Psalm 135:7

I love the wind - I love storms - When I was young, I would sneak out and watch from our porch the magic in the sky. It reminds me of when I am walking to self and not Him - when I am all wind and no blow. That only when He is my God - is there any real power.

To put it mildly - today is a windy day. The plants are all bowing low to the ground, the kind of day it doesn't pay to do your hair. Once when Adam and Nichalas were younger, we took an old water ski, added some old mower wheels, a pole with a sheet on it and went wind sailing on the road in front of our house. I am sure the neighbors were wondering - but we had a blast. All be it our design had some major faults, it was a day we put into our "treasure chest" - our hearts.

On days when I am very hot and sweaty, and I feel the wind caressingly touch my face - I drink it in as a kiss from my Daddy. That He is there with me in my work, watching over me, leading me, keeping me - It seems as though we haven't had too many days this year without the wind. It has hindered my spraying, causing some drift damage, or not being able to spray at all. And yet, because of Him, I am okay with that. He has helped me remove "my" schedule and accept His. That instead of looking at it as a day of getting behind, it is a day to see His power and glory. So often, He has helped me with the wind. Many days we do not have to blow the clippings from the walks - He does. Yesterday, while trimming trees - He removed the leaves we would normally have had to rake up. Or this spring when the grass was so tall, His mighty wind blew it so far out from our mowers that there wasn't much laying on the lawns.

I think about this verse often when I am out working - He brings forth the wind from His treasuries.

His treasuries.

That He considers the wind a treasure. I am amazed at all that He finds a treasure. Particularly when I think about me. That He holds me as one of His most prized treasures.

That He holds me.

In His "Treasure Chest"

His heart.

What an awesome Daddy I have.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Thursday thirteen - on a Sunday

I went to a small country school the K-6. In 7th grade we moved up the road 1/2 a mile and entered into a different school district. My 7th grade was combined with the 8th and we had a total of 10 kids. Consolidation took place and the rest of my years were at a larger "city" school - a place where the city kids did not want the country kids to enter.

Kindergarten - I was the youngest in my class and not ready for this world at all. Thank the Lord for Mrs. Pilkinginton, who took me under her wing. I was also the tallest and skinny as a rail, shy as all get out - in other words - an easy target. We had a huge room with a large walk in closet that Mrs. P had turned into a play house. Each day we would lay out our matts and take a rest time. She also made music fun by incorporating games into the songs. I think my bladder grew to the size of the blimp as I was too embarrassed to go to the bathroom - until I got home.

First grade - Mrs. Arthur - I can remember what a nice woman she was and I was still struggling to make friends - to fit in. We had penny carnivals once a year and they were such fun. All the families would attend. They had games, a king/queen, programs, etc.

Second - Mrs. Gracey - She had taught my dad and would tell me stories about him. I finally had a friend - Tina. Unfortunately, she was the shortest and tiniest person in the school. We would walk around holding hands during recess and the kids would make fun of our height difference. We would also make the most elaborate leaf houses during recess and the other kids would want to play in them with us. One winter morning as I was running to the bus, I slipped on the ice. All the way to school and at my desk, I could hardly sit down. Mrs. Gracey took me into the bathroom and checked my bottom out. She sent me to the office as I had a rather nasty cut and Mr. Oberling doctored my butt!

Third- Mrs. Crow. My mom bought me blue tights - which looked just like blue underwear. I wore them over my underwear and would hang upside down on the monkey bars. Then I would get very angry when the kids said they could see my underwear. I also would smash these furry black spiders to impress the kids with my "no fear". (What a nerd.) I made another friend Audrey who had me spend the night. On the way to her house a kid was picking their nose and eating it on the bus. She informed me that if one child did it - the whole family did it. Later on that night, I saw her little sister doing it. My first boyfriend - Mike. He was in second grade and everyone made fun of us.

Fourth - Mrs. Wilson - We had a kid in our class - Arthur, who had been held back a couple of years. He was always in trouble trying different antics to attract attention. He also ate glue. Mrs. Wilson took his away and put it in the top drawer of her filing cabinet. Whenever she went out of the room, he would go up, get his glue, lean on the cabinet, hold back his head and drink a stream of glue. She was only about two feet tall as well as around and would try to get that glue from him. We were too scared to laugh at her jumping up. I also had a green dress with pink dots. Whenever it was time to go, we had to stand in the aisle between our desks and wait to be called for our bus. I was swinging on the desks and suddenly threw up all over. I had a major crush on a boy named Tom. The kids would tease him about me. One day Mrs. Wilson picked four of us to go down to the kitchen and get the milk for break. I was so excited that she picked both of us. I had never, ever even talked to Tom - nor him to me. Thinking that this may be a good thing, I was greatly dismayed when he threw me down on the cement floor, climbed on top of me and while choking me told me to stop liking him. This obviously cured me of that crush.

Fifth - Mrs. Soland - Still being shy, I hardly ever talked in class. She had me stand in the corner because I wasn't participating. After being told by my mom I needed to participate, I started to answer all the time. She had me stand in the hall,. I was so nervous and embarrassed, I bit part of the flesh from my little fingernail and it was bleeding. The principal - Mr. Oberling, came by and took me into his office. He wrapped my finger up and talked to me about everything except school and gave me some candy. A girl in my class had a slumber party and had to invite all the girls. (Why I was there.) This was my first experience with the weege board. Scared us to death. They had just built on a new bathroom and family room. I went in and after I went, flushed the stool. To my horror, it wouldn't stop running over. I remember how mad her mom was at me - as if the other girls hadn't put any toilet paper in either. We had a new boy move in and his last name was Wilcox. Mine being Cox - everyone started teasing me about my "new boyfriend". I remember flipping them off. Where I learned that, I don't know - nor did I even know what it meant.

Sixth - Mr. Hart. This was the year that I learned from "city" girls. A new girl, Diane, had to come live with her cousin. Being a misfit too, we quickly became BFF. Whenever I tried to hold her hand as we walked about, she said that was too "hick". I had no idea what that was, only that I didn't want to be. Another new kid - Kenny. He was very plump. He also decided that I was the one for him. I remember the horrors of him smiling at me, winking, even trying to talk to me! At recess I was sitting on the steps with Diane and the kids were in front of us on the lawn playing tag. Kenny kept running by very fast (for a plump kid) hollering at me to "watch". The one time I did look up, he was so surprised that he didn't look where he was going and ran smack into the flag pole. It knocked him out. All the kids, except Diane and me crowded around him to see if he was okay. After he was carried to the nurses office, I was yelled at for not caring about Kenny. My cousin, Cyndi, came to stay with us for a week. She was a year older and from the city. She brought spray on deodorant. After showing me what it was for, how to use it, I promptly picked it up to try out myself. Have you ever had an eye full of deodorant?

Seventh- New kid on the block. Everyone had a boy/girl friend and I just wanted to fit in. One day I wore a ring and told everyone it was from my boyfriend at my old school. Everyone was saying how cool that was, until Terry leaned over and inspected my ring. My popular second ended when he let everyone know I was wearing a sliver nut from a bolt with yarn around it.

Eighth - New kid again. I started to hang out with the city misfits and began a journey down the road of smoking - tobacco, pot and slow gin. I had a favorite pair of black tennis shoes that I wore so much that they rotted. My mom took me to town and made me go into the shoe store alone because they smelled so bad and she was too embarrassed to go in with me. I think she was trying to teach me a lesson.

Fresh - I had a brown maxi coat (remember those) which I loved and wore out like my black tennis shoes. That thing fell apart. My new friends were now with their older friends - which introduced me to a rougher crowd. The Lord was watching over me as nothing "bad" ever happened to me. My boyfriend, Mark, even though he did all the stuff too, treated me like a lady. He had a very kind and gentle soul. My friend, Leasa, and I went riding around with her brother and his friends. They took us miles out in the middle of nowhere and dumped us. I remember my boyfriend wanting to beat them all up. Another time, one of her bothers' friend, Ronnie, told me my boyfriend was waiting for me after the football game by the side of the school. When I followed him, it turned out that Mark was not there and Ronnie then tried to rape me. Mark did beat him up. Last time I heard Ronnie had been in jail for drugs and battery.

Soph - Realizing that I was headed down a bad road that summer, I decided to change. I cut my hair, started dressing nicer and getting new friends. I had a new boyfriend, whom my old best friend decided she wanted. One day after school in the locker room, she and seven other girls ganged up on me to convince me to break up with Mike. Two of the girls were known in town for being able to beat up guys. My knees were knocking together I was so scared. Surprisingly, Mike still wanted to go out with me.

Jr - I didn't date anyone. Had a major crush on a guy named Tom, who strung me along most of the next two years. When I was home my Soph. summer from college we actually did go out. I ended up dumping him. Don't they say turn about is fair play!

Sr - A good year. I made a new BFF - Krissy. Had a wonderful boyfriend, Jay, from my old school. I pretty much hung out with kids from my old school that year. I enjoyed my senior year pretty much, but was so thankful to be done with High School.

This will be the summer of my 30th reunion. Overall, I hated school, have not kept in touch with my classmates and do not plan on attending the reunion. I have been to two - the 10 and 20. At the 20, I felt like I went to lay down old ghost. It was refreshing leaving behind that part of my life and focusing on the beautiful blessings I now have. Even though it was pretty much hell, I realize I wouldn't be who I am today. Finally - I really am thankful.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

After three years

of having problems, of being nagged at, of being reminded that his father died in his 60's from colon cancer - Curt finally had a colonoscopy done. They ended up removing three polyps, doing a biopsy on some tissue and has internal hemorrhoids. (I found out everyone has these - some persons just swell up.)

He told me that he did not experience any pain. After being wheeled back, rolling over, lifting up so they could put something under him, the last thing he said he remembered was the doctor's hand on his butt.

I asked him if he fell asleep with a smile.

"It was a very different funeral

and very nice". My mom was telling me about her day yesterday. They did not have a service at the church or funeral home. There was a large tent set up at the cemetery. Inside they had a small table with photos, etc. and rows of chairs. The minister gave a very nice sermon and then............................................

"they buried the URINE in the grave".

I'm wondering what they did with the urn.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Pennies from Heaven

This past Monday it hit me again. Those feelings deep within - a little bit of fear, anxiety, a lot of loneliness wrapped up into a touch of sadness. A repeat of how I feel whenever Curt has left on his work schedule. I don't know if these feelings are more pronounced since I am working alone most of the time or what.

As I am driving or mowing, I find comfort listening and talking with my Father. He reminds me with Scripture that He is here.

And then He gave me His special touch.

For some reason I have always associated pennies with blessings. In the world of money they have lost their value and are often overlooked, cast aside, kept away in a jar, somewhere that shows they haven't a great importance. As I sometimes find myself doing with blessings, unless they are quite big.

It is quite often as I am weed eating I find a penny laying there on the ground and I am reminded of His many blessing. This particular day, each sight I went to - I found a penny laying on the ground.

On Tuesday I was about my day, thinking about how I had felt the day before and how He had lifted me up. Thanking Him for this, I laughingly asked Him if I'd be getting anymore pennies.

Job done, putting up the weed eater in the spot it had came from on my truck, I happened to look down..............

there on the ground by my foot lay a bright, new, shinny penny (the only one I found that day).

I could not stop smiling - in my heart or on my face the rest of the day ---------- and even now.