Tuesday, March 31, 2015

"His Crown of Thorns - Worn For us" - 03/31/15 - Judges 3-5

"They were there to test Israel and see whether they would obey God's commands" (3:4)

 I was so naïve when signing up for The Lord's Army, I came in thinking that life would turn around and all would be a bed of roses. Knowing ABBA is in control of everything, He was my guarantee behind my way of thinking.

In growing "in" Him, I have found, the bed of roses has its thorns.  There are some places it becomes not a bed, but a tangle of thorns, scratching and at times even tearing into my flesh, as I journey through this "bed" of life. 

And sometimes, the thorns are there so we may help others climbing through their own thorns. 
So, when I become focused on "self" and cry out that life isn't fair, I am drawn back to my Christ. 
My Savior.
His Word runs through me as a living stream, showing me the "thorns" my Savior climbed through - for me. 
His Word shows me my Savior - who wore a "Crown of Thorns".

 For all of us. 

His Word quickly shuts up my self-pity.  His Word holds me accountable.  It is continually showing me the "thorns" I am going through are really nothing compared to what my Savior endured.  His Word also gives me hope.  It gives me Wisdom and security knowing I am not traveling through this life alone.  He surrounds me - completely.  He takes the brunt of the "thorns" and allows enough pain to test me.

The Lord not only preserves our temporal life, but maintains the spiritual life which He has given to believers. By afflictions we are proved, as silver in the fire. The troubles of the church will certainly end well. Through various conflicts and troubles, the slave of satan escapes from his yoke, and obtains joy and peace in believing: through much tribulation the believer must enter into The Kingdom of God.  All for His Glory.  All for Love.  Pure Love.

For thou, O God, hast proved us: Thou hast tried us, as silver is tried.(Psalm 66:10)

Monday, March 30, 2015

"I Do It To Myself" - 03/30/15 - Judges 1-2

"They cut off his thumbs and big toes." (Judges 1:6)

Throughout Joshua we are told of the many wars.  Wars that were necessary for eliminating the Promise Land of pagans - who like a cancer would destroy the Israelites from within.  As I read today a summary of wars, it again reminds me - we are still fighting for souls.  The scriptures continually point out I too, am a warrior. 

God has equipped me with all I need to fight in this battle for souls.  Being on the side that won, God of all is my Daddy and Leader.  A full armor - His Word -  detailing for me all moves needed in the strategy of war.  The Holy Spirit within and around me.  There is no doubt that I am surrounded by His hedge of protection, the power of His family joining together and fighting as one.  I am not alone!

And still with all He has equipped me with - when I sin, I am cutting off my "thumbs and big toes".  

A warrior in order to shoot a straight arrow and hit the target, must grasp the string with both his fingers and thumb.  He has trouble balancing and running without his big toes.  They were disgraced because they could no longer fight. 

I am hindering myself when I decide to serve me over Him.  A self-destructive cycle.  Much like cutting off my nose to spite my face.  Something I find myself doing continually in the roles of my life.  How thankful I am that He completely heals me, sets me straight and we begin again - numerous times.  How thankful I am that He is bigger than my mess ups.  That His grace and mercy have me covered. 

One of my greatest fears is Judges 2:10 - "Then another generation grew up that didn't know anything of God or the work He had done".  There aren't enough words to express how thankful I am that our kids know Him intimately.  That they are about being a light for Him - a warrior. 

But, I see when I look around so many who do not know Him.  He is giving me a sense of urgency to be the best possible warrior for Him. 

To take care of my "thumbs and toes" so I am not hindered......to not be a disgrace. 

This isn't about serving me - it's about serving Him - to be His Warrior for lost souls.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

"Not One Word Failed" - 03/29/15 - Joshua 22-24

"Not one word failed from all the good words God spoke to the house of Israel. Everything came out right." (Joshua 21:45)

Have you found it is hard to determine whom is speaking truth? 

Even with self
truth is not spoken 100% of the time.
 Most often the lies we tell ourselves are more damaging than all other sources of lies combined.
It is amazing the power of words.
 At times when lies prevail, they seem more powerful than truth.
But, eventually truth does prevail

and in all ways.

What words do I stand firm on? Live my life by? Use for guidance? Obtain wisdom from?

Each day words from various sources bombard my mind, infiltrating into my being.
Do I offset the lies with His Truth?

 I must fill myself with His Words each and every day for they are a needed life/living support system.

 It is the only way I am able to know Truth.

No matter the situation - everything does come out right when I walk in His Truth. At times it may seem the lies are winning, but He really is in control.

There is an absolute freedom in knowing - 
The Truth has and always will
set me free.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

"Rollin In It" - 03/28/15 - Joshua 19-21

"The inheritance of Simeon came out of the share of Judah, because Judah's portion turned out to be more than they needed".(Joshua 19:8)

Often times when I think of inheritance, I think of wealth. I forget that in order to obtain it a death has to occur. That it includes not only property, titles, money, but also rights, obligations, and oftentimes debt. Everything that person had becomes yours if you are the heir. It can be a blessing, a burden and sometimes both. If numerous heirs, it can divide them.

I can remember once reading an article about the lottery. It was around 340 million, third highest it had ever been. In another article it wrote of  Bill Gates spending 1 million within 5 months on his 15 year old daughter to ready her for competing in the Winter Equestrian Festival.  At the time of the article his worth was 64 billion.

There is a part of me which thinks it would be nice to have wealth like that. There are many things Curt and I have talked about that would be nice to do anonymously for people - organizations. Easter is coming up and it would be nice to fly Nichalas and Amber back for the weekend so we could all be together. If we were that wealthy,  I'd like to think we'd use it for God's glory and not become worldly. I don't know how it would change us, but I do know it would. I think about our kids and what they would experience - not just the good things, also the bad. How could you ever know who your true friends are? Some persons would not feel any boundaries as they came to ask for money. There would be such a loss of privacy.

And then too, I think of the inheritance I have received. One that surpasses all wealth - all worldly possessions- which gives me everything I need.

 My inheritance came at the cost of an innocent man's life.
A man who gave up His life so I may live eternally with my Father. 
My Savior. 
My Jesus Christ.

This world will pass - as will all the millions and billions of dollars that are in it. I know for some persons,  money is their god - their hope - their road to death. I do know I can not afford to fly our Nichalas and Amber in for the weekend. I do not have a million to spend on a sport our kids are involved in. I do not have the million or billion in our bank account.

But, what I do know - is because of my inheritance from my Savior -  I do have wealth beyond my dreams.

And this wealth I have received from Him has and is changing me.  To be more of Him and less of me.  To use His wealth for His Glory.  To spread it to those who are "poor" - as I once was. 

Friday, March 27, 2015

"Can not OR Will Not" - 03/27/15 - Joshua 16-18

"The people of Judah couldn't get rid of the Jebus"ites" (Joshua 15:63)
But they didn't get rid of the Canaan"ites" who were living in Gezer.(16:10)
The people of Manasseh never were able to take over these towns—the Canaan"ites" wouldn't budge. But later, when the Israelites got stronger, they put the Canaan"ites" to forced labor. But they never did get rid of them."(17:12-13)

God had instructed the people to totally destroy all who lived in the Promise Land that were not following Him. He knew the people would be turned away from Him through these people. They already had proven this numerous times.
 Again, God knows best - and that is all He He wants for me - the best.

I think about the "ites" that I allow to live in my life. A little tidbit of gossip here and there, sneak a few handfuls of cookies, procrastinate instead of just do, the self-righteous thoughts that creep in as I compare others ways, bitterness and anger when buttons are pushed that I have not let go. Lots of "ites" and they could totally take over and destroy me.
This marks my 17th year to read through His Word. I am not bragging, just stating a fact. A place where I am able to go back and actually see the change within me begin. At first I did it out of a sense of duty, and not every day. One year I read the entire New Testament on December 31. At first it was an obligation to fulfill a vow I had made to Him. My heart wasn't in it. Just going through the motions.

And then - "He" happened.
I began to be "in" His Word each and every day. 
I came to the place where I can not go without His Word. 
I have come to love being in His Word every day.
It has become as much of a part of me as breathing.
 His Word is so alive and has/is transforming my heart.
I have fallen head over heels in love with Him after digging in and reading my own personal love letter from Him - His Word.

Yes, I still have "ites" in my heart, but not as many. The way He is helping remove all the "ites" from my heart is such a blessing.  Many moments I am able to see "me" stepping away from a situation and "He" fills in - using me as His vessel.  More and more He is helping me to keep my focus on Heaven, on His face, and not on the situation at hand.  To not take things personal.  To see people and situations through His eyes. 

So when it came to removing my "ites" - it is often because I wouldn't not couldn't.
I decided to hang onto the sins I wanted -  I was deciding to serve me.
The Israelites had their own reasons for hanging onto the "ites". Greed, selfishness, lust, self, and it turned out to destroy them from within in.
satan works that way. he usually doesn't start out with a bang, but a little bump or nudge. Then as we grow accustomed to the sin as a way of life, when it feels good, etc., he ups the dosage.
Just like a cancer - the "ites" in our lives will eventually overtake the whole of us, unless we do as He commands and completely remove them from within.  Which can only be done through Him. 
We can not do it on our own.  And He is standing at the ready. 

Thursday, March 26, 2015

"THE KING is My KING" - 03/26/15 - Joshua 12-15

"And these are the kings of the land that Joshua and the People of Israel defeated" (12:7)
"but I stuck to my guns, totally with God, my God" (14:8)
"And the land had rest from war." (14:15)

How we appoint "kings" in our life without realizing it. 
We are giving them power to rule us, at times it is in fear, doing things our way, doubt.  Whenever we do this, we have then appointed them or it to be king over our lives. 
How many "kings" have you appointed?

And why? 

Why do these "kings"  rule over you?

I have been transferring the power these "kings" have to rule over me, to God. 

My Abba. 

My Daddy. 


He rules in love, no double standards. 

He desires what is best for me and is pruning and ridding my life of garbage or rather "kings".

Garbage which is the result of being in the toxic relationship of the "kings" I am allowing to have power in my life. 

Healthy boundaries can only be set if I have stuck to my guns.  If I have fortified myself "in" Him.  If I am meditating on His Word day and night.  If I am totally focused on Him.

He is using the "kings" I am discarding for His Glory.  He has defeated them.

In only a way He is able to do - He provides rest from war - even while in the middle of a spiritual battle zone.  He has been and is preparing me for future Divine Appointments.  The experiences of life that He has brought me through are preparing me for life to come.  I am excited as I recognize He has/is equipping me in a war I have already won because I have appointed Him my KING! 

My KING of Kings.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

"At Rest While Here" - 03/25/15 - Joshua 9-11

And Israel had rest from war. (11:23)

Rest.  From war. 

I so look forward to that time.  Heaven.  Peace.  Joy.  No conflict.  No Struggles.  No Pain.  No Suffering.  No Lies.  No tears.

No Doubt.

Last night as I sat inside, I could hear the strong winds whipping about our home, the wind chimes responding to the forces, ringing out their melodies.  Lightning flashed across the sky, thunder boomed, and the rains poured down from the heavens.  Inside, I am save, warm, protected.  As I am "in" Him.
I stood at the window watching.  Praying.  Thinking of the day ahead - this day.  I watched the rain and thought about how it represented our ABBA's many tears.  Tears He sheds over each of us when our hearts are heavy.  Are breaking. 
Today - this day - we came together to hold the service for our dear friend and sister, Terri.  I sat and listened to the words which were spoken, the songs being sung.  I sat and watched as the burden of sadness could be seen upon those who loved her so deeply and shared day to day living with her.  Her Kevin.  Her Mackenzie.  Her Logan. I sat and fought back the tears as memories came through.  I smiled as I could see her smile.  I was comforted knowing how much she enjoyed life.  I prayed thanksgiving for having the honor and privilege of knowing her.  Of calling her not only friend, but sister.
Sitting in the room of sadness.  Holding back the tears.  Hugs with words we pray will bring some comfort, all the while knowing they will never fill the void those we love leave when they go on before us to Home.  This isn't what our ABBA planned when He created Adam and Eve.  This isn't the Eden He laid out before them.  Death was not part of His plan. 
And because of sin - because of the free will of man to choose sin - death came into our world. 
The spiritual warfare began at that moment and will not be finished until our Savior comes again to take all of His Beloved - Home.  Home - where there is no death.  No rooms of sorrow.  No tears.  No pain.  Nothing that is not of Him.

And while on this earth, the winds of war will swirl about me, at times my spirit will become bruised from the debris flying about.  But "in" Him, my soul is protected.  Until Heaven, the only place of "rest" is "in" Him.  satan wants more than anything for me to pick up doubt and go with the winds of destruction.  To focus on the lies and not on my ABBA. 

Falling before Him on my knees,  I pray and His Word washes over me, shields me from the lies that are blowing over me, trying to penetrate into my self.  My fingers are in my ears, shutting out the sounds from outside and I am able to hear only His Voice from within me, whispering over and over from one of my favorites.

His Word - another Taste of Heaven He gives me as "rest from the war".

You have searched me and known me.               
You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.           
You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways.              
For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.            
You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.            
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.            
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?            
If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.            
If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,            
Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.            
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me," Even the night shall be light about me;            
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.            
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb.            
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.            
My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.            
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.            
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!            
If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.                 
Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties;            
And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139)

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

"My Canary" - 03/24/15 - Joshua 5-8

"When you see The Covenant-Chest of God, your God, carried by the Levitical priests, start moving. Follow it. Make sure you keep a proper distance between you and It, about half a mile—be sure now to keep your distance!—and you’ll see clearly the route to take. You’ve never been on this road before.” (3:3)

I love my Savior has made it so I do not have to keep my distance from my Abba - from my Daddy.

Because of Christ - I now am able to walk knowing my Daddy encloses me from all directions.

In the tunnels not yet ventured - His Word is my map.
My map for the gold mine. And the gold - the gold is the Treasure of lost souls.

Today, the practice of using a bird to test the air supply has become part of coal mining lore, but the ideology behind it has become a popular expression. The phrase "living like a canary in a coal mine" often refers to serving as a warning to others. The actual canary had little control over its fate, but it continued to sing anyway.

Unlike the canary, whose fate was in the hands of its handler, our Jesus had the free will to offer Himself as my Savior.

He gave His life in order that I may be made pure and holy. So I may have an intimate relationship with my ABBA - my Daddy.

He has taken away the poisonous gases which are in life and replaced it with the pure, sweet air I now breath.

He went before me as a sacrifice, so I may go forward into the mine.

Underneath the earth's surface lay the tunnels. Tunnels that wind their way for miles, some coming to dead ends, all that have no light, some which are sometimes flooded or have experienced a cave in. Even when carrying a light, unless you look at and carry the map of these tunnels, you are basically walking blind. People have already went in and surveyed to create these maps, so new workers are able to know where to go, where not to go and where the mine is producing.

I am instructed, "as I go to make Disciples for Him".(Matthew 28:19-20)
I look at this much the same way as mining for gold.

Without looking into His Word, carrying it with me - I am stumbling about. Wasting precious time, missing out on Divine Appointments. I am instructed to go into the tunnels of this world and grasp hold of the lost souls who are wandering about in the dark. If I allow Him to, He uses me as His vessel to shine His Light into their darkness.

When Christ returned to God, He left with us our Helper, The Holy Spirit. We also have with us His Word. It is up to us to "go and make Disciples as we live".

If I were mining and make the decision not to go into an area which had been made safe after the canaries death, what is the use of sacrificing the canary?

If I make the decision not to go into the tunnels for the treasure of lost souls, after He has prepared not only me but also the way, aren't I saying His Sacrifice wasn't worth it.

Monday, March 23, 2015

"A Date" - 03/23/15 - Joshua 1-4

"Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you're going. And don't for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you'll get where you're going; then you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take." (Joshua 1:8,9)


Terri L. Smith, age 57, of 2900 Selkirk, Quincy, died Saturday, March 21, 2015, at 5:22 p.m. in her home.
Terri Smith | Hansen-Spear Funeral Home - Quincy, ILTerri was born August 12, 1957 in Kirksville, MO. On July 19, 2003 she married Kevin Smith in Quincy. He survives.

Terri was a 1975 graduate of Quincy High School. She worked as a registered nurse at Blessing Hospital and Quincy Medical Group. She loved spending time with grandchildren and taking care of her family and friends. If anybody ever needed anything, Terri was always the first one to offer her help. It was her great pleasure in life. She also enjoyed travel and gardening.

Terri was a member of Madison Park Christian Church.

In addition to her husband, Terri is survived by a daughter, Mackenzie (Logan) Kammerer of Quincy; two step-children, Jody (Cole) Turpin of LaBelle, MO, and Mitchell (fiancé Sara Dolbeare) Smith of Barry, IL; six grandchildren, Aria and Everly Kammerer, Tuff and Lily Turpin, Bradlee and Mikayla Smith; her mother, Shirley (Clifford) Plunk of Quincy; a brother, Bradley (Lois) Dickson of Quincy; a step-sister, Brenda (Richard) Martin of Fowler, IL; a step-brother, Tim (Laura) Plunk of Quincy and numerous nieces and nephews.

Terri was preceded in death by her father, James Dickson, and a sister, Rebecca, in infancy.

Services: Wednesday, March 25, 2015 at 11:00 a.m. in Madison Park Christian Church, with Rev. Chuck Sackett officiating.
Burial: Private family burial will take place in Shiloh Cemetery, Plainville, IL
Visitation: Tuesday from 4:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. in Hansen-Spear Funeral Home.
Memorials: Madison Park Christian Church
Just a few weeks ago, we sat at the dinner table and caught up with each other.  Picking up where we left off since our last time together.  Always it was that way with us.  My mind has run through many memories I have of this beautiful inside/out woman, and through the tears - there is a smile.  The image of her smile.  Her smile from the heart.

We promised each other to write a date on the calendar and make it happen.  Time between our visits was going too long.  Of course it breaks my heart, knowing our "date" here on earth won't be happening - but I do know our date to spend eternity has already begun with her getting things ready.

Terri had such the gift of hostess.  Always her table was set to make you feel special.  The food was wonderful.  The conversation flowed.  She always served her heart and a bushel of love, no matter the occasion.  How she graciously opened her home to us many times when we would be visiting from Texas. We still laughed after all these years,  remembering the night Curt saved her from the bat that had found its way into her bedroom during the middle of the night.  I look through photographs and see her helping to make our Nichalas/Amber's rehearsal dinner have that special touch she always gave to everything.  And everyone.  

Within my heart are tucked many conversations.  I rejoice in remembering those we shared of our ABBA.  She loved Him so.  I am so thankful she lived long enough to see her family come into His arms.  I am so thankful they will lean on Him during this time.  My heart delights knowing her smile is ever present, as she is rejoicing nonstop with Him right now.  I can just see her grinning ear to ear with that twinkle in her eye.  She is Home. 

If I allowed myself, thoughts of death could consume me. Scare me. Become my obsession. God tells me to meditate on His Word - day and night. He promises me I'll get where He wants me to go, if I stay focused on Him. Life isn't an easy journey. But, walking in Him there are blessings in all things, situations. I also receive strength and courage through Him.

He also has shown me to savor each moment. Do I look back at the end of my day and smile at how I chose to spend my time? I started keeping a separate journal this year listing only in it what made me smile that day. I don't want to forget, or take for granted, the big or small smiles He gave me. I don't want to let fear of growing older, of death rob me of those.
He tells me not to be timid. Embrace my fears, get to know them - dance with them - then they can no longer have a hold on me. He is with me every single step of the way. Being in His Word every day has transformed my heart and focus. He is everywhere I look. He is enabling me to savor life, set my priorities to His measuring stick not mine. That living here on this earth really isn't what it is all about. That really living is living with Him eternally.
There is nothing that can stop time except to die. Until that happens - it does march on. I am blessed with many memories. Blessed with the fact that I dread separation from us that death brings for those I love, because He taught me how to love deeply. Blessed with the promise as long as I am alive, there will be more smiles. Blessed in knowing He conquered death.
So my lesson from Him - "Don't get off track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you're going" - be it with thoughts of aging, death, memories, etc. My number one job in my journey of life is to go and make disciples. Too many are dying not knowing Him. Too many moments are being spent without Him being the focus. Too many are living in total fear of death.
And He has also shown me to cherish each and every moment.
Make a date on your calendar with those He puts into your life.
And make it happen.
Time goes - too fast, too soon.


Sunday, March 22, 2015

"You Have Made Me To Fly" - 03/22/15 - Deuteronomy 32-34; Psalm 91

"You found me out in the wilderness, in an empty, windswept wasteland. You threw your arms around me, lavished attention on me, guarding me as the apple of your eye. You were like an eagle hovering over its nest, overshadowing its young, Then spreading its wings, lifting them into the air, teaching them to fly. You my God alone led me" ( 32:10-14)

You found me.
 You rescued me.

Never will I be able to convey all of my thankfulness. Never will I be able to convey all of my love for you. You are so very amazing - that you - the Creator of everything - and I am the apple of your eye. My heart swells with emotion trying to grasp that. My head knows I never will totally, not until I am with you face to face. Even then I wonder if I will ever really be able to grasp your total greatness - your love for me.

How over the years I have felt your arms surround me. So many times looking back as I walked in the wasteland. I could actually feel you holding me. And today - such comfort I have in knowing your arms are still, and always shall be, holding me.

Thank you for teaching me how to fly. Thank you for breaking me free of the the chain of my past that kept me tethered to the ground. I see now how you have been growing me over the years and in just the past few months you are preparing me for something more. I don't know what - yet.

I do know I no longer am staying in the nest. You have taught me that living is about flying. Living is about soaring to new heights - teaching and drawing others to you. It is about getting out of my comfort zone. Being led by you. Spreading my wings so to speak.

It is about getting out of the nest.

"The Best Dance" - 03/21/15 - Deuteronomy 30-31

"Look at what I've done for you today: I've placed in front of you
Life and Good
Death and Evil.
And I command you today: Love God, your God. Walk in His ways. Keep His commandments, regulations, and rules so that you will live, really live, live exuberantly, blessed by God, your God, in the land you are about to enter and possess. I call Heaven and Earth to witness against you today: I place before you Life and Death, Blessing and Curse. Choose life so that you and your children will live. And love God, your God, listening obediently to Him, firmly embracing Him. Oh yes, He is life itself"

Dancing With God.

As the trees sway in the wind, the grass bows down to His breath, the leaves swirl in His whirlwind, the snow - glittering like diamonds - being gently lowered to the ground, He leads me in the dance of life.

I follow His lead, most times. Occasionally even stepping on His toes as I try to lead. We twirl and whirl in the grand room of life - together - as I firmly embrace Him. I listen obediently as He whispers in my ear which steps we'll dance. When we rest and gather our energy for the next set, I draw strength from Him.

I have chosen His way of Life and Good.

In doing so - I live, I really live. Exuberantly and blessed by Him.

I have fallen madly and deeply in love with my Lord. My Abba. My Daddy. My very bestest friend.

And today as I look out and see the amazing beauty of His spring, I yearn to dance with Him. To laugh with Him. To celebrate with Him.

I am so thankful my husband and children dance with Him too. Delight in Him as He does them and me. That they follow His lead. I am so thankful that they see themselves as a light wherever He has them dancing.

I have looked and seen. Before me He placed
Life and Good
Death and Evil.

I have chosen Life and Good.

Live and God.

Friday, March 20, 2015

"Not On Bread Alone" - 03/20/15 - Deuteronomy 28-29

"a person who hears the words of the Covenant-oath but exempts himself, thinking, "I'll live just the way I please, thank you," and ends up ruining life for everybody. (29:19)

 It amazes and saddens me how often we feel our actions, or lack of, don't affect others.  There isn't an escape from the ripples we create in the river of life, regardless of if we choose to live for ABBA or "live just the way I please".  Who are you living for?  Is ABBA your first priority or self?  Do you continually place Him lower and lower on your "list"?  There is a reason the Holy Spirit is within us, to be our Helper.  Our natural tendency is to serve "self".  There is a reason ABBA has instructed us to be in His Word so much that His Word is in us.  He tells us to wear it on our foreheads and carry it in our hearts.  ABBA gave us His Word, giving us a first hand account of our Christ.  Our Christ, who we are to strive and become like.  His Word transforms us, but it is our free choice to set aside "self" and make Him our first priority. 

Psalm 1:1-3 "... read in an undertone day and night"

Joshua 1:8 "... book of the law should not depart from your mouth ... read in it day and night..."

Ephesians 6:17 likens God's word as being as important to a Christian as a sword is to a soldier in battle.

James 1:25 encourages Christians to 'persist' in God's Word.

I have found, more often than not, as I grow in Him, study and knowing His Word, I fall back upon it when sin enters into my choices.  His Word has transformed my heart in ways that astound me.  His Word continually comes into my thoughts, my eyesight.  It has brought me closer to Him.  I love living my life in constant awareness of His being in and all around me.  He has shown me this life isn't about stuff, status, etc.  It is about the Spiritual warfare, which is all about us.  satan is trying to collect as many souls as he can, and ABBA is using us, His Warriors, in this war. 

"God put a million, million doors in the world
 For His love to walk through
 One of those doors is you
 I said, God put a million, million doors in the world
 For His love to walk through
 One of those doors is you" (Jason Gray - With Every Act of Love)

His Word is our manual, our inside "battle plan".  It is our direct link to The Lord of lords - our ABBA - our "bestest friend".
Many people make it a daily habit to read The Bible. When asked why he reads The Bible every day, one Christian replied: “If I repeatedly pray to God during the day and expect Him to hear me, why shouldn’t I also listen to God by reading His Word every day? If we want to be a good friend, why would we do all the talking?”

Thursday, March 19, 2015

" Intentionally First" - 03/19/15 - Deuteronomy 24-27

He and his descendants are joined in a covenant of eternal priesthood, because he was zealous for his God (25:13)

fervor for a person, cause, or object; eager desire or endeavor; enthusiastic diligence; ardor.

Ardent, fervent; exhibiting enthusiasm or strong passion.
Just wondering what your Zeal is.  What are you Zealous about. 
For whomever it is or whatever it is - you are passing on your beliefs.  Your priorities.
Just wondering are you aware of what you are passing on to those in your care?  Who will cross paths with you for a moment or season.
What is spilling out of you because you can't contain it.  Because you are Zealous.
 Is it your ABBA?
Are you intentionally putting Him first in all areas of your life?
When persons see you - are they seeing Christ?

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

""Keeping The Camp Clean"" - 03/18/15 - Deuteronomy 21-23

"Mark out an area outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourselves. Along with your weapons have a stick with you. After you relieve yourself, dig a hole with the stick and cover your excrement. God, your God, strolls through your camp; He’s present to deliver you and give you victory over your enemies. Keep your camp holy; don’t permit anything indecent or offensive in God’s eyes." (23:12-14)

Very important questions to ponder.............

Did Adam and Eve, the animals, have belly buttons?  Probably not.  Where did they live, sleep?  Did they eat only with their hands?  Was it always raw foods?  How did they cleanse themselves?  Comb their hair?  Did they have to shave?  Even though they didn't have anyone else to compare themselves to, when they realized they were naked - was it a "whoohoo baby" or "Are you kidding me"?

And then the verses above led me to - where did they relieve themselves?

Seriously, the thoughts that came when reading these verses, "why would they have to be given specific instructions on relieving themselves?"  Bathrooms have been discovered in ruins that date back before Moses' time with the Egyptians.  Even though living in tents, didn't they know what to do when they defecated?  I also found it interesting " along with your weapons have a stick with you".   We need the weapons He gives us always - particularly when we are most vulnerable.  That is when the enemy loves to attack.    

Obviously, this isn't a very sweet subject, but one God needed to touch upon.   To hand down laws regarding fecal matter.  These laws were to be followed as one way of keeping the camp free from diseases and unpleasantness.  

To keep the camp holy because God strolled through it. 

I then begin to wonder - how is my camp?  Just like human waste, sin doesn't offer up a sweet fragrance to the Lord.   What worldly fecal matter am I putting into my mind, my heart? What "spiritual weapon" am I carrying with me at all times?

He lives within me.  He strolls through my "camp".   I am instructed to "keep my camp holy". 

When I was younger, outhouses weren't all that uncommon at the homes of elderly persons.  It wasn't surprising to me that they were still being used.  I can remember my great uncles talking about  "the lazy fool who built their outhouse not 10 feet from their well".  Through listening to them, I learned that you never placed them near running water either. 

God in His wisdom created the layers of earth as a filter for unclean matters, before entering into our drinking source.  Today, there are many third world countries where it is completely normal to relieve themselves wherever and whenever the urge hits.  These countries are riddled with diseases that can be traced back to this unhealthy practice.

I wonder how is it a people became so far removed from a healthy practice.

Much like a people becomes so far removed from keeping their spiritual camp clean. 

They have decided it is okay to live in a camp that has sin within the perimeter.  And when living  close to sin, it will seep into your being, just as the waste from an outhouse sitting too close to the well.  This is why Christ had to become our filter, cleansing us, before our Abba.  We were living in sin.  He has handed us our weapon to never put down in His Word.  We are to daily wear His Armor.  Sin has to become far removed and buried outside of our spiritual camp. 

Your spiritual camp in which God strolls.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

"Just Like Yeast Is Doubt" - 03/17/15 - Deuteronomy 17-20

 "In a few minutes you’re going to do battle with your enemies. Don’t waver in resolve. Don’t fear. Don’t hesitate. Don’t panic. God, your God, is right there with you, fighting with you against your enemies, fighting to win.” (20:3-4)

There it is - on the silver platter again.


Throughout Scripture, we are told we will be going into battle - often.  We are promised we have all which is needed to fight anything and everything that is encountered. 

But then we look at Doubt sitting there, so tempting, so in your face - and you pick it up.  You tuck it down deep within that inside pocket of your heart.  Thinking it's such a little thing to carry with you, it won't matter. 

Funny thing about Doubt though. 

We never leave it alone.  It sits there, hidden, within that pocket in our heart and we are consumed with dressing it up.  We put on the blankets of fear, anger, insecurity - and we begin to waver in our resolve that we will win "in" God, the battles.  Second guessing about what, how, when, and we find ourselves either rushing ahead not following His lead, or stuck in the muck of anxiety and panic.   How satan then uses those emotions to keep us from being effective warriors. 

It is then I begin to pray that God will open my eyes to His Truth.

And He has. 

I see we are in a spiritual warfare and there are some things which can not be explained - things others may doubt He can do or what we experience.   Some persons when encountering evil feel the hair go up on the back of their neck.  Others may get goose pimples, feel an urgency to leave, or just sense that something dark is about them.  He has given me the ability to actually see a dark, shadowy presence.  The last battle I encountered, Curt was with me.  We went into the situation without any fear or nervousness.  He had led us to this place and we were in His Hands.  I could see Him and His light surrounding us and hear Him say, "He had our backs".  There wasn't a need for us to use our words to defend ourselves.  His Word kept running through our hearts and minds, leading us in how to battle.  Our words didn't matter - He was fighting for us.  .  
More and more, through Him, I am keeping focused on His Truth as I live life in the midst of  constant and continual spiritual warfare. 

As His Warrior, I am standing strong in His promise -  "Deby - In a few minutes you’re going to do battle with your enemies. Don’t waver in resolve. Don’t fear. Don’t hesitate. Don’t panic. ABBA, your ABBA, is right there with you, fighting with you against your enemies, fighting to win.”

Monday, March 16, 2015

"YOU - yes, You" - 03/16/15 - Deuteronomy 14-16


"You"  are the children of The LORD

your God.
(Your own personal God.)

For "you"

"you" are a people holy to The LORD

your God.

Out of all.

Out.  Of.  All.

Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth,
The LORD has chosen



to be His


to be His treasured possession.(14:1-2) 


"Ride of my Life" - 03/15/15 - Deuteronomy 11-13

"God, your God, is testing you to find out if you totally love Him with everything you have in you. You are to follow only God, your God, hold Him in deep reverence, keep His commandments, listen obediently to what He says, serve Him—hold on to Him for dear life!" (13:3-4)

Taking the wild ride!

Holding on to Him for dear life!

My outlook on this ride determines my attitude. If I have trust and faith in Him - we are in for an exciting adventure. If my trust and faith is in myself - well - fear is my guide. I will not be eagerly looking ahead, trying to see around the next bend in excitement. I will be clinging to the rocks, trying to keep the raft from going forward. Wet, cold, shaking, a terrified wreck. Not only holding onto the rocks, but also trying to keep everything inside the raft.

Exhausted comes to mind when picturing this.

But in allowing Him to take the lead, I see excitement, joy, freedom. Even if we are in the middle of hidden boulders, I am at peace knowing He is in control of our raft.

All I have to do is hold on!

The best part though is knowing without a doubt, He is holding onto me so tightly I can not be wrenched from His grasp.

Unless I pry off His fingers and jump.

He then is keeping the raft there, waiting for me to figure out I am drowning on my own. Waiting for me to come to my senses and see the raft and Him, reaching out to pull me back in, to continue the ride.

Unfortunately, I have and will jump out numerous times. Doesn't matter the water - rough or peaceful - for some reason I believe I can do better outside the raft.

 Through Scripture He tells me over and over, "Deby - That’s where we are right now. So cut away the thick calluses from your heart and stop being so willfully hardheaded - get back into the raft." Come on! We have a ride to enjoy.

I have finally followed Him to the place where I am thankful for trials and tribulations. It is at the end of each one I am walking closer "in" Him. He has transformed my heart to see His glory in all. He has taken my hand and led me away from the self pity party I was attending. That the tests are much like the boulders we encounter on our ride. He is able to maneuver around them with such skill and then they are behind us. He is in total control of our raft in this journey called life.

Through Christ I draw such strength knowing that He was tested and being so totally in love with God - He passed. He didn't take things personal - everything was about God and our relationship with God. He wasn't about seeking revenge, seeking His own way, He was about Love - no matter what.
How His heart broke, and breaks, for the sorrows that God experienced because of our brokenness.
In my jumping out of the raft.

"God, my God, who rescued me from the rapids, who redeemed me from a world of slavery and put me in our raft on which God, my God, has commanded me to ride. Purge the evil from my company." (13:5)

My Daddy, continue testing me so I am totally loving You with everything I have within me. I want only to hold on to You for dear life."

"And I Break His Heart" - 03/14/15 - Deuteronomy 8-10

"all your sins, sinning against God, doing what is evil in God’s eyes and making Him angry. I was terrified of God’s furious anger, His blazing anger." (9:19)

I pray often throughout the day that God will break my heart for what breaks His. I pray often that He will transform my heart, my mind, to be more Christlike with each breath I take. I thank Him often for Christ, my Savior, who covered my sins committed and those I will commit. I thank Him often for His grace and mercy.

And still - I do and will sin - doing what is evil in God's eyes.

His furious anger, His blazing anger. Moses writes that he was terrified of this side of God.

Am I?

I know that I can not and do not comprehend exactly what these emotions from God entail. What He can do and He holds back. He holds back because of His great love for me. For us. He doesn't want one soul lost. He holds back, yet still disciplines.

In my prayer, to break my heart for what breaks His, I am thankful for the growth He has given me. Encouraged and stand in hope that He will continue to transform my heart. When finding myself thinking about situations that bring me back to anger and bitterness, He touches my heart and then I remember. He has held me accountable for the thoughts that focus on revenge and brokenness rather than those of forgiveness and bonding together. His transforming my heart has given me a realization of how much a gift the Fruits of the Spirit are. He is helping me to rejoice at the thought of what glory to Him would be shown if there was a true healing.

During this process of transformation, He is bringing to the surface many hurts that I had not given over to Him - that I had not totally forgiven those who hurt. Recently I read an article about how I am to pray for my enemies. It hit so close to home how I have said, "I love them through Christ", "I am praying for them", when really I was not loving or liking them. Because I had not forgiven.
He opened my eyes that I was hurting myself and Him. My not loving as He does - was and is breaking His heart.

In shame and sorrow I am on my knees.

For all He has done and will do for me - how can I not let go and love as He does for Him.

My heart isn't like a light switch. I do step back into the old ways at times, but am finding, more often than not, I really am praying for those who have inflicted hurt. That more and more I am meaning what I am praying. It isn't just going through the motions. I am able to not take personal the offensive things they say and do. My Daddy has me covered - this is what He meant by leaving revenge to Him. We can't handle taking revenge - it transforms our hearts into being all about us and the revenge is not done in love.

He has opened my eyes to what it really is that causes me to react in an ungodly way.
Double standards.

I can make jokes about it, point my finger at the other persons, but in reality - I am guilty of it. Through Him, I have come to the point that I have confessed and am making the choices that go against my natural bent. He has convicted me of the damage that I have incurred. How thankful I am that He has done this through loving discipline.

Thankfully though, I am finally at peace when this action occurs to me. I stand firmly in my Daddy and He is in me. His ways are solid truth and there are no double standards. He is who I get my worth from. He is whose I am. I know without a doubt where I stand In Him.

As long as I am using His measuring stick and not the world's, I am not affected by those of the world. This has helped me to step back from the hurt - not take it personal - recognize that this is about spiritual warfare.

My Daddy is my Commander in Chief. He is on the front line of the battle. I have to never take my eyes, heart, soul, off of Him or I will slip and fall back. I have to imitate Him until it is a part of me, it becomes my first nature to be Christlike.

And what better role model than that of Christ in forgiving.

"His Word Is Within My Heart" - 03/13/15 - Deuteronomy 5-7

"Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love Him with all that's in you, love Him with all you've got!" (6:5)

"And this is what will happen: When you, on your part, will obey these directives, keeping and following them, God, on His part, will keep the covenant of loyal love that He made with your ancestors;
He will love you,
He will bless you,
He will increase you."(7:12-13)

How very blessed I am. So thankful.

I love God. He is my bestest friend.

 It has been through being "in" His Word, I have fallen completely, head over heels, in love with Him.

It wasn't always like that. For years, I chose not to have anything to do with Him.. Even today - there are times I revert back to being childish and follow "my" way. But, throughout all of my wayward times, I never stopped loving Him. Even when in my darkest time - I still loved Him. Just not in the right order. I was more about getting my cake and eating it too.

God has given us instruction to study and know His Word for a reason. Only He is God, only He can see the whole paradigm and only He knows why it is essential to follow His way. And still I chose to rebel and try to live my way.

I emphasis "try".

After years of studying, I have come to the conclusion there are only two gods in this world. It is either God or self. And it is our free choice whom to follow. The other things that are called 'gods" are actually only the things we place before God to serve self. Which is what I struggle with everyday.

And why?????
Not only in Scripture, but in my life, it is proven time after time - His way is the right choice. I can see in my life and see His blessings or I can see where I chose me and it went all wrong. How thankful I am that He is bigger than my choices. That He is bigger than my messes. He is my superglue.

All I have to do is follow His way.
Just strive to love Him with my all -
before "me" and "my" all.

"Knowing - Without Doubt" - 03/12/15 - Deuteronomy 3-4

"Know this well, then. Take it to heart right now: God is in Heaven above; God is on Earth below. He’s the only God there is. Obediently live by his rules and commands which I’m giving you today so that you’ll live well and your children after you—oh, you’ll live a long time in the land that God, your God, is giving you."(4:39-40)
There are many moments when my heart is torn in the blessing of Adam being close enough to see whenever we want and Nichalas/Amber being so far away. This puts me in a place where I wish I could be two places at once.

Heading back. A few moments ago we stood in a circle holding hands and praying to our ABBA. Then after last big hugs, kisses, and "I love you", two parts of my heart walked out from the light of their porch door into the predawn darkness to begin their day. How thankful I am we were praying to "our" ABBA. Standing there knowing without doubt - they are His and He is theirs. Knowing without doubt He is always within and about each one of us.

As a mom, I have passed onto them the most important - introducing them to ABBA.

 It makes the job of mom from afar so much easier. Knowing His hedge of protection is about them. Knowing they turn to Him and heed His instruction on what steps to take next in their journey. Knowing without doubt if they were to be taken away, they would be with Him. Knowing this is but a temporary place for us. Knowing through Christ - we will one day share eternal life in the land of Heaven.

It makes the job of mom easier, but still there are heartaches. Knowing it will be several months before my eyes will be drinking in their faces, my ears will hear the melody of their voices and laughter, my heart will dance in delight as I feast upon the moments we are together.

He is transforming my heart to stop counting the minutes together and just drink in those we are given. To stop watching the clock. It isn't with just Nichalas and Amber, it is with all who He puts into my journey. Each one - those who will walk for many steps and those for only one or two.
This time in Phoenix has been one of cleansing. Of drawing nearer to Him than I have ever experienced. It has been a time of letting go. Of being at His knees and not wanting to lose that place. Of not wanting to replace my focus on Him with that of the world.

He has delighted me with so many moments in seeing how He is using me as His warrior. Of showing me how loved and treasured I am, by He and others.

It has been a vacation from the world.

It has been a mountain top experience.

"Fear Not" - 03/11/15 -Deuteronomy 1-2

"we even saw Anakite giants there! I tried to relieve your fears: "Don't be terrified of them. God, your God, is leading the way; He's fighting for you. You saw with your own eyes what He did for you in Egypt; you saw what He did in the wilderness, how God, your God, carried you as a father carries his child, carried you the whole way until you arrived here. But now that you're here, you won't trust God, your God—this same God who goes ahe...ad of you in your travels to scout out a place to pitch camp, a fire by night and a cloud by day to show you the way to go."(Deuteronomy 1:28-33)

Fear - One of satan's strongest tools. Only when I am focused on Him is fear prevented from totally consuming me. He is leading me - always. Look at where/what He has already brought me through. Leading the way - I just need to follow Him.


The funny thing about fear is it becomes nothing when I give it over to Him. Things that I allowed myself to be consumed with, stay up all night and worry about, I can not remember 99% of what I was so afraid of. I do not like surprises. I enjoy a movie more when I know the ending before watching. The suspense of not knowing kills it for me.

He carries me as a Father carries his child. Near His heart, in His arms.

He gave up His life for me. Many times I am so focused on "He gave His only Son" (John 3:16), I "forget" that God, Christ, Holy Spirit are one. Yes, God gave His Son - yet He also gave Himself. He died for me - to save me.

What a Father.

And this is the Father who carries me.

"Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’(Isaiah 41:10)


"Maintenance" - 03/10/15 - Numbers 35-36

"They are free to marry anyone they choose as long as they marry within their ancestral clan." (36:6)

Someone commented the other day, "Marriage is such hard work". It got me to thinking about my marriage and I have to honestly say, not if you are equally yoked. Not if you are standing firm together in ABBA and fighting off the demons set on tearing your union apart. Not if you are following His lead. The hard work begins when we decide to do things "our way". It begins to be hard work when we take our focus off of ABBA and put it upon ourselves. I feel that is the hardest work of all our relationships - choosing to keep ourselves centered "in" Him.

Because of Him, (and it only took 30+ years!) Curt and I have made it through the "hard work" stage and are enjoying the "maintenance" stage. There are times when we find our selves "maintaining" more than enjoying and always it is because we are not focused on ABBA. We have moved Him from our center and over a little to the left or right.

When Curt and I got together, we were evenly yoked. We were both of and in the world. Honestly, most of the reason we were together was the physical attraction. There was a little of the mental thrown in and none of the spiritual. We have both said, if we had not of moved to Texas, where we knew no one, we would not have made it the first year. There were a few friends we had in common, but for the most part we probably would have been more with different crowds than together. Not knowing anyone in Texas, forced us to get to know each other. We didn't have an argument for almost two years. For the most part, we fit well together as we continued to live outside of Christ.
We were still evenly yoked.

And then, along came Adam. The catalyst that God used to draw me to Him. Unfortunately, in being a new Christian, I was also so on fire that I turned Curt off. Turned him off with my "self-righteous nagging", throwing scripture in his face, not trusting him to be alone with Adam very often because he wasn't a "Christian". Who knows what he and his friends would introduce to our child.

I cringe when I think about the "Christian" I was. What God and Curt put up with.

No longer were we "equally yoked, and it was causing turmoil in our marriage. The same time I was floundering at being a Christian, I was also growing in Him. He was having me see things that I used to enjoy as sin and finding it distasteful. Repulsive.

It was causing a division in our marriage.

This division continued to grow and we came to the line of divorce many times. I didn't know what to do to bring Curt to Christ. I was trying to do it my way, my time, by myself.

Dictating to God.

What saved our marriage was God telling me to shut up and stand back. Thankfully, I did.......and still find myself being told to do this again.....and again.

When I stepped out of the control tower, followed God's lead in how He could use me, Curt came to Christ. He came and has fallen head over heels in love with our Abba.

I began to pray for the future spouses of our children when Adam was first born. My prayer was that God would bless them with a partner they would be equally yoked with. God blessed us with the joy of seeing Nichalas and Amber beginning their marriage - equally yoked. There aren't enough words to describe how my heart feels seeing the way they complete, compliment each other as one "in" God. To see they are continuing on the cycle of Him, knowing they are in a place with their first year of marriage that took Curt and me 20 plus.

We truly became "equally yoked" when we both fell "in" love with our Abba. Both of us. Finally understanding why it is so important to God for us to "marry within their ancestral clan". His perfect plan brings two people as one in Him. They join together, and God willing, have children, whom they train up in Him, and the cycle continues. His perfect plan enables them to become equally yoked without all the garbage living in the world brings about. When beginning "equally yoked", the hard work isn't needed.

Just the maintenance. It falls back upon us the degree of maintenance it will take.

"At Home In The Heart" - 03/09/15 -Numbers 33-34

“God’s beloved;...
God’s permanent residence.
Encircled by God all day long,
within whom God is at home.” (Deuteronomy 33:12)

Did you catch the best part of this verse?

"within whom God is at home.”

He is talking about you, His beloved.
You who are "in" Him and He is "in" you.

Permanently - unless you decide to kick Him out.

Just one of the many things about my Abba that amazes me. He gives me free choice to love Him....or not.

He isn't like the intruding mother-in-law, the butt of all jokes, comes to visit and never moves out, takes over the entire house and runs it her way. He is the polite guest that only goes where you allow Him to. Not that He doesn't want to be everywhere, He is not intrusive. He desires that your house will become a home that revolves around Him.

He loves us that much, knowing what is best for us - is Him.

He calls me "His beloved". And because I have invited Him into my "heart home", He sees me in all stages. When I have my best clothes on, my hair is fixed and makeup in place. My "heart home" is picked up and spotless, all areas organized and purged. He sees me at my best, and still dust bunnies flutter around my ankles - not matter how much I clean.

I will strive to have my "heart home" be totally His until my last breath.

There will be times that He sees me at my worst. My hair hasn't been combed and is wild about my head, the robe I am wearing could stand up by itself in a corner, if you could find a corner. My "heart home" is a mess, cluttered and dirty, dishes mounted upon the counter, flies buzzing around rotten food. TV is a continuous source of noise and foul language that my mouth sometimes imitates.
Because I live in the world, because I am human, there are times when my "heart home" isn't reflecting Him. Thankfully, I have asked Him into my "heart home" as His "permanent residence" and I am "encircled by Him all day long". He holds me accountable when my housekeeping falters, encouraging me and helping me to get things cleaned up and in order. He shows me that my "heart home" has to be at the ready for the Divine Appointments He has made for me. My love for Him is prevailing over my backsliding and I find myself desiring and continually striving to give my "heart home" over to Him.

You see, I love living in my "heart home" when He isn't a guest, but a member of my family. When He is the Lord of my "heart home". I am blessed beyond words when I submit to His ways and follow His example of keeping my "heart home" in order. I love not having the "ugliness of sin", amongst the beauty of His Home - my "heart home".


"The Scent of Him" - 03/08/15 - Numbers 31-32

"you can be sure that your sin will track you down." 32:33)

Growing up around coon hounds, I know that once they are on a scent, they don't get off. When they tree a coon, they'll stay at the bottom of the tree until they are told to move off.

What a warning God gave us. It could be very scary, without hope, if I did not reside in Christ. Sin is a dark, evil place. I do not want to be alone when being tracked by sin. And I am being tracked. The more I grow in Him, the more satan wants me to be destroyed.

There's another thing about tracking. Sometimes, something or someone will "scatter the scent" and the dogs are not able to track - they lose the scent. That is what my Christ does for me. He comes behind me and covers over my tracks. He laid down His life to cover my tracks - all so that sin can not track me. I know we are in spiritual warfare. I see sin all about me. Each day I fight to resist leaving tracks for sin. I know that I can not do it alone. This is yet another reason I am so thankful I have Him.

The runaway slaves - without the underground railroad, they would have run without destination, without places to stop, hide, rest, as the hounds came after them. God's plan is much like the underground railroad which was well organized, loyal members, gathering in and making disciples, saving lives. And often they were Christians.

Until I am in Heaven, sin will be tracking me, trying to entrap me.
I am running in His underground railroad.
I am helping others to escape through it too.
I rest in the assurance that He is "scattering my scent".

Knowing that sin will run right on past me as I hide in Him.


"My Husband" - 03/07/15 - Numbers 28-30

'But if her husband intervenes when he hears of it, he cancels the vow or rash promise that binds her. And God will release her." (30:8)

I have a big mouth. often find myself speaking before thinking.

At times it is because I am offended and feel the need to defend myself. Sometimes, it is because I am nervous, or there is an empty space between conversations that I believe needs filled.
But sometimes, it is because I get caught up in the excitement and words just tumble out.

There are often times I need a zipper on my mouth.

And it needs to be zipped more than unzipped.

An enthusiastic "yes" will pop out before I have thought things through, what is entailed, and most times - my heart really isn't in it. I have said yes for the wrong reasons.
Be it - excitement, guilt, shame, my own glory.

 Wrong reasons.

He has taught me over the years that it is okay to be quiet and just listen. That the times I don't say yes, is a time someone else does, because God wants them in that place. Or that it is okay to not do, because He has something coming up that He needs me to do. Something in my future that I hadn't planned to be in my journey.

It talks in scripture that your word is to be taken for what it is - a yes, is yes. a no, is no.
So many times I have given a yes, and broken my word. Or even saying no. How often have I said no to sin in my life and at the end of the day looking back, see my no became a yes.

My "Husband" is my Savior. He is my Christ.
"He intervenes when he hears of it, he cancels the vow or rash promise that binds me. And God will release me."

This isn't a ticket for a ride to do as I please.
I have entered into a covenant with Him and each time I sin - I break my vow. Much like the wedding vows I took with Curt. There will be consequences of my words. Some will seem almost unbearable, some His grace saves me from enduring. The more in love with Him I fall, the more I don't want Him to have to cancel my vow or rash promises.

Each time He has to, it breaks His heart.
I want to please Him.
To give Him joy.

Sadly, my Husband, my Christ, has gotten the short end of the stick.

 And still He loves me.
I am rest assured.
There is no question.

My Christ - my Husband - He keeps His vows.

"Stone Soup" - 03/06/15 - Numbers 26-27

"the Spirit is in him!" (27:18)

There is an old story, "Stone Soup", that I can remember reading to the boys when they were little.
A beggar asked alms at a lordly mansion, but was told by the servants they had nothing to give him. "Sorry for it," said the man, "but will you let me boil a little water to make some soup of this stone?" This was so novel a proceeding, that the curiosity of the servants was aroused, and the man was readily furnished with saucepan, water, and spoon. In he popped the stone, and he begged for a little salt and pepper for flavoring. Stirring the water and tasting it, he said, it would be the better for any fragments of meat and vegetables they might happen to have. These were supplied, and ultimately he asked for a little catsup and other sauce. When fully boiled and fit, each of the servants tasted it, and declared that the stone soup was excellent.

Thankful and blessed I am when I came to my Lord, I didn't have to beg. He welcomed me with open arms and gave me all that He has.

Even though my status was that of a beggar, He treated me as His princess.

Because that is what and who I am.
His princess.

My King!
When I gave my life to Him, I became His daughter. He gave me not only the gift of eternal life through Christ, He gave me the gift of His Spirit to live within me - His temple. How often I take Him for granted, do not think of Him at all, do not recognize I am His temple.
His Spirit lives within me.

The God who created this universe and all it holds - lives within me.


His Spirit who guides, protects, comforts, moans and groans relaying my heart to Him, celebrates - lives within me.
My heart is a vessel He filled with water, pure and clean, in which I made the choice to put in His stone.

My rock.
When I first received my Rock, I couldn't make sense as to why He wanted it in my heart. But then His breath blew into the embers and the flame that came from Him began to heat the water. He added to my heart My Savior, His Son - the marrow bones becoming a broth. Through His Word came the seasonings. The Fruits of the Spirit, of life, His Armor, Him. The Holy Spirit constantly stirring.

And as I looked into my vessel I could see floating on top amongst the ingredients God had put in, inedible items which were poison in my soup. Items that were served on the platter of doubt by satan. Items that I had taken off the platter and put in myself, thinking they were needed to enhance the flavor. Sticks and decayed leaves of fear, insecurities, anger, bitterness, items of sin.

And the Holy Spirit lifts up the slotted spoon straining out the items that brought poison to the soup. It isn't until I am with my Abba that we will eat of the soup. The soup He created out of my nothing - my emptiness. The soup, that with continued stirring brings up the hidden sediments laying in the bottom or the ones plainly seen floating on the top, which He removes.

It is on that day we will taste of it together and He will declare it excellent.