At times it is because I am offended and feel the need to defend myself. Sometimes, it is because I am nervous, or there is an empty space between conversations that I believe needs filled.
But sometimes, it is because I get caught up in the excitement and words just tumble out.
There are often times I need a zipper on my mouth.
And it needs to be zipped more than unzipped.
An enthusiastic "yes" will pop out before I have thought things through, what is entailed, and most times - my heart really isn't in it. I have said yes for the wrong reasons.
Be it - excitement, guilt, shame, my own glory.
He has taught me over the years that it is okay to be quiet and just listen. That the times I don't say yes, is a time someone else does, because God wants them in that place. Or that it is okay to not do, because He has something coming up that He needs me to do. Something in my future that I hadn't planned to be in my journey.
It talks in scripture that your word is to be taken for what it is - a yes, is yes. a no, is no.
So many times I have given a yes, and broken my word. Or even saying no. How often have I said no to sin in my life and at the end of the day looking back, see my no became a yes.
My "Husband" is my Savior. He is my Christ.
"He intervenes when he hears of it, he cancels the vow or rash promise that binds me. And God will release me."
This isn't a ticket for a ride to do as I please.
I have entered into a covenant with Him and each time I sin - I break my vow. Much like the wedding vows I took with Curt. There will be consequences of my words. Some will seem almost unbearable, some His grace saves me from enduring. The more in love with Him I fall, the more I don't want Him to have to cancel my vow or rash promises.
Each time He has to, it breaks His heart.
I want to please Him.
To give Him joy.
Sadly, my Husband, my Christ, has gotten the short end of the stick.
And still He loves me.
I am rest assured.
There is no question.
My Christ - my Husband - He keeps His vows.