Friday, November 29, 2013

"Bubbles over = Little of Heaven" - 11/29/13 - 2 Corinthians 2:5-6:13

"The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less." (5:5)



In the Spirit of Thanksgiving, what is your "Little of Heaven"? 


This morning as I was getting ready to head out with Curt and Adam, I kept smiling reflecting back on yesterday.  My cup runneth over.  Even though Nichalas and Amber weren't here with us, I still had "little of Heaven" throughout my day.  As I do every day.

It occurred to me, how His Glory prevails over all.  In giving up anger and bitterness, forgiving as He has, I am able to focus and be who He created me to be.  I am able to see those He has put into my path through His eyes.  To see the opportunity to be His Vessel, where He has me planted.   To be thankful for all things.

His love is able to bubble out of me! 

No holding it back. 

Instead of a feeling sorry for myself or being defensive, from being in a situation where I do not feel safe, He has eliminated, for the time being,  trying to use us as His Vessel in an unhealthy atmosphere.  We have presented truth more than once, and it has been rejected.  ABBA is having us continue to pray and love these persons from a distance. 

Yesterday, He filled the moments we would have spent with them, with so many others!  Making new memories, talking,  laughing, receiving hugs, kisses, being treasured,, cherished, encouraged. - being safe!  I marvel at knowing, before time began, He knew who it would be that I would be spending my Thanksgiving with.

Whom He needed me to be with - for Him.

Reflecting not only on my yesterday, but all the days behind, I love how He uses me.   How He encourages me. in so many moments, with more than  a "little of Heaven".   

Monday, November 25, 2013

"Waters" - 11/25/13 - Romans 5:1-8:17

"So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life.  God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!
This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who He is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with Him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with Him! (8:12-17)



Everywhere you looked, there was only water.  No land was visible as far as the eye could see.  We were in a small, handmade, wooden craft.  The power to push it through the waters came from the oars held within our hands or the motor mounted on the back.  The ways of the waters determined which power source was used. 


This adventure we set out upon, began from the moment of my birth.  It took me a number of years to recognize He was with me..... 

With me during the dark nights.  When the waves towered above the craft, as I huddled in the corner, shivering from the cold.  The days when my soul lay parched, dried up,  yearning for the fresh, cool water - anything other than the bitter, brackish drops that fell between my lips from the spray of the sea.  The days when all I desired was shelter from the penetrating,  all consuming rays of the sun, as it beat down upon my weary body.  Yearning for someone else to steer the craft, knowing I was only going about in circles, slowly winding my way downward to the bottom of the sea.   Sitting, with my fist upraised, clenched in anger, as yet another storm came.  Not content to lay back and let the rains trickle over my face, drinking in the pure sweet water, not only with my mouth, but the pores of my entire being. 

And finally.

At my lowest point.  I had given up control, laid down in the bottom of the boat, just waiting for death.  My face turned upward.  Salty tears coursed slowly down the sides of my face, into my hair, mixing in the with waters of the sea.  My eyes were searching into the vast, ink dark sky, looking beyond the farthest star.....

I found Him. 

I found Him beyond the farthest point.  I found Him in the roughest seas.  I found Him there in the boat with me.  Knowing somehow, He had always been there.  There and everywhere, in the sea of life. 

I found Him when I died to self. 

And now.  He is the one who controls the rudder of our craft.  At times I become selfish.  And He in His grace steps aside.  He allows me to take our craft - where it again goes in circles.  Yet, He is always there to take over the relinquished control I willingly give Him. 

No longer is this adventure, as the vultures circling around, waiting for death.  It is rebirth.  It is one filled with trust and faith and hope.  Today, when the waters are as they used to be and would bring about fear, I am able to do anything He commands.  Even if it means, getting out to walk upon the waters.  No longer do I sit huddled in fear during the storms.  I sit beside Him, facing forward, delighting as the waves take us on a heart thrilling ride.  No longer does the darkness of night bring me fear, His never ending presence is my night light - my security - my thankfulness.  No longer does the sun beat down upon me, His Son shields me in His protective light.  No longer do I sit with an upraised clinched fist, I now raise open hands in praise, in an embrace, in a welcome.

No longer are my days drifting on and on - for now I see the land - the land of Home. 

And each day? 

Each day  "It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa."


Monday, November 18, 2013

"ABBA or Self" - 11/18/13 - Acts 18:24-19:20, I Corinthians 1:1-3:23

"The Message that points to Christ on the Cross seems like sheer silliness to those hellbent on destruction, but for those on the way of salvation it makes perfect sense. This is the way God works, and most powerfully as it turns out. It’s written,
I’ll turn conventional wisdom on its head,
I’ll expose so-called experts as crackpots.
So where can you find someone truly wise, truly educated, truly intelligent in this day and age? Hasn’t God exposed it all as pretentious nonsense? Since the world in all its fancy wisdom never had a clue when it came to knowing God, God in his wisdom took delight in using what the world considered dumb—preaching, of all things!—to bring those who trust him into the way of salvation." (1 Corinthians 1:18-21)
 
 
In our Sunday School class, some were discussing the new mega atheist churches springing up around the world. So I googled it, being more than a little confused as to why persons who profess to not believe in God, are assembling in a God like atmosphere. This is from one of the articles I read, "During the service, attendees stomped their feet, clapped their hands and cheered as Jones and Evans led the group through rousing renditions of "Lean on Me," ''Here Comes the Sun" and other hits that took the place of gospel songs. Congregants dissolved into laughter at a get-to-know-you game that involved clapping and slapping the hands of the person next to them and applauded as members of the audience spoke about community service projects they had started in LA.
At the end, volunteers passed cardboard boxes for donations as attendees mingled over coffee and pastries and children played on the floor." (http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/11/10/atheist-mega-churches/3489967/).

Incredibly sad that they don't have a clue they are worshiping a god - the god of self. I did find it more than ironic, for all the complaining I have heard of "the church just wanting your money", they collect a donation. In my prayers, I'm not praying these "churches" will fail. I already know through Scripture, they will tear themselves down without any help from God. "Self" wants all adoration, praise, glory, honor, for "self", and there are too many "selfs" involved. "Self" is unable to provide The Fruits of The Spirit. "Too many cooks in the kitchen" keeps coming to mind.

What I am praying for in these "churches" is an awareness. An awareness for the person sitting there, to recognize he/she is there because "something" is missing. An awareness that they have come to a place which is about worship, praise, community, family, and continue to search until they find the "church" which is our ABBA's church.

Some may see these churches as a loss, I am seeing them as future gain for Him. All things are for His Glory - we are promised this. All of us are made in His image. All of us have within us a God void only He can fill - not the gods of the world, satan, or self. I pray for the "children who played on the floor", that they will be deaf and blind to the lies they are being brought up in and search for "our" Savior. "Our" Savior who we are commanded to go and make Disciples for. So He may become "their" Savior.

When I hear about these churches, I wonder how His churches are really doing. How are we doing at "going as we live, making Disciples". How even though we attend a church that recognizes ABBA, are we really that much different than those attending the mega atheist church?

Who are we worshiping, self or ABBA.....
 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

"A Part Of...." - 11/13/13 - Acts 14:21-28, Galatians 1:1-3:23

"After proclaiming the Message in Derbe and establishing a strong core of disciples, they retraced their steps to Lystra, then Iconium, and then Antioch, putting muscle and sinew in the lives of the disciples, urging them to stick with what they had begun to believe and not quit, making it clear to them that it wouldn’t be easy: “Anyone signing up for the kingdom of God has to go through plenty of hard times.” (Acts 14:21-22)

"Then they settled down for a long, leisurely visit with the disciples." (Acts 14:28)

There are some who claim they haven't a need to attend church regularly as they worship God where they are.  They believe while in nature, at a sports event, home in their living room watching a TV evangelist, away from the Body of Christ, aka The Church, they are able to worship Him. 

I agree with them, that we are able to worship Christ in every step we take, if we choose to.  Unfortunately, there are so many distractions satan presents to us, taking our focus off of Him.  Even while in church, our minds will wander away from Him. We are to be on constant guard against all things which will try to tear our focus off of our ABBA. 

His Family, Prayer, Scripture, Singing Praises,  Teachings, all of these are tools He has given us to fight with.  I love all of these, but one of my favorites are His Disciples. 

My "brothers and sisters"

 
We are blessed with a Bible based church, revolving totally around our Abba.  There aren't many Sundays we are not in attendance for both Sunday School and Worship.  We don't attend to earn the "attendance medal" (no, they don't hand those out), but because it is a place where we are learning more and more about being ABBA's follower.  His Disciple. 

Over the years, there are many members who have become more than just casual acquaintances.  Even though we are all "family" through Him, these are ones who have become immediate family.   This didn't happen because of the internet, not attending church, not involving ourselves with community events.  It happened because ABBA placed persons in our lives and we gave of ourselves to build a relationship.  Some of these persons have been for a season or seasons, and some have been in our lives throughout the years. 

We are told as Christ followers, walking through the world will bring about trials and tribulations.   It will be a very hard journey at times.  But, one of the best promises about this, we will not be alone.  Not only did ABBA send us a Helper, The Holy Spirit, He provides us with each other.  There will be times we will build each other up, stand beside and love, and even fail each other.  Being mere humans, expect the worst at times.  Thankfully, He is bigger, in control, and His Glory will prevail through all things! 

For the past six years, there aren't many Wednesday nights that are missed in getting together with our Bible Study group.  Even though we aren't the "original" group that started, it multiplied into two, we are still a strong family unit.  Each of us have come to "need" this night to "fill up", encourage, be in a safe place, to be "settled down for a long, leisurely visit with the disciples." 

On your journey "in" Him, I am praying you have found yourself a place "in" His Family.  How He puts things in perspective through others.  There is nothing new under the sun, what we struggle with, have fought through, going through, others have too.  I have found the ones He puts into my life are hand chosen by Him.  He knows our hearts, better than we do, and will provide exactly who we need.  Those that are "in" Him are His vessels, not only to lead the lost to Him, but also to be our "strong core of disciples, putting muscle and sinew in the lives of each other, urging them to stick with what they had begun to believe and not quit."

It takes investment of time, commitment, growing of trust, to become more than casual with each other. 

Don't miss out on one of His best promises - the blessings of being an involved part of His Family.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

"FLASH" - 11/12/13 - Acts 12:6-14:20



" There was a man in Lystra who couldn’t walk. He sat there, crippled since the day of his birth. He heard Paul talking, and Paul, looking him in the eye, saw that he was ripe for God’s work, ready to believe. So he said, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Up on your feet!” The man was up in a flash—jumped up and walked around as if he’d been walking all his life."(13:8-10)



As you are reading this, I pray you don't miss the biggest part of the miracle.  It isn't only he walked, but how.








"up in a flash"


                    "jumped up"


                                          "walked around"









There are persons, who have lost their ability to walk, that have shared with me what an intense procedure they had to endure to gain that ability back.  Their brain had to reprogram the muscles and nerves to do as instructed.  They had to go through hours and hours of therapy, trying to bring "memory" back to those muscles, strength building for the muscles to hold them up, pain as the nerve endings came "alive" again.  The persons who shared this with me, had once walked.

The man from Lystra, he had never taken a step.

There are so many miracles ABBA shows us throughout our days, our lives, and oft times we just cruise along completely missing them.  The times we do see "one" miracle, is actually numerous ones flowing out through His Love for us.  For me, the biggest miracle is the creation and birth of man and animals.  To think they start out as a sperm and an egg.  The sperm swimming to and penetrating itself into the egg and then the fertilized egg attaches itself to the womb wall. From those tiny separate vessels, growing into one miracle.  A woman's body, able to nurture, stretch, hold, carry, a separate life within her.  Her body preparing to bring forth a blessing - through the birth canal,  several times smaller, which then shrinks back.  Life sustaining milk being signaled to begin production.  And then the infant or baby animal, growing and learning.  What they know how to do, without being shown.   Their brains - just by intake - knowing language, body functions, control, emotions. 

Such a miracle worker is He.

This also brings to mind how He made me "new" through His Son, my Savior.  

He instructs me to, "Get up and walk", going forth and making new Disciples.

How often am I "up in a flash" or hesitate using the lamest excuses.  How often am I drawn back into the cripple I once was, laying there feeling sorry for myself and not "walking" with Him on this journey. 

How often do I take for granted the miracle of His death and resurrection, for my sins, and not respond instantly nor react to the urgency of finding the lost? 

The "key" to be a part of this and all other miracles, "Paul, looking him in the eye, saw that he was ripe for God’s work, ready to believe".

Ready to "become what he believed".

A person is able to go through all the therapy procedures, but without the right mindset and will-power, will not walk again.   A person is able to learn all the instructions of making Disciples, but without falling "in" love with our ABBA,  "leaping up" and walking with Him, they will fail. 

It is my heart prayer I will be "up in a flash", doing as He desires of me.   To be part of His miracle network, saving those who are crippled and helping them to walk.

To walk "in" Him. 



 

Saturday, November 09, 2013

"Beauty Within" - 11/09/13 - Acts 6:1-8:1

 

In just such a time Moses was born, a most beautiful baby." (7:20)


It always makes me stop and ponder, why ABBA brought out Moses, "was a most beautiful baby". 

"The woman conceived and bore a son; and when she saw that he was beautiful, she hid him for three months. (Ex 2:2)  and then again, here in Acts. 




What was it about his beauty that God felt important enough to breath this information into Scripture?  Did his beauty capture the heart of Pharaoh's daughter, causing her to want him for her own, upon finding him amongst the reeds in the river? 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  The rating system for beautiful by the world is ever changing.  Centuries ago, voluptuous women were a sign of beauty.  Today a woman is considered beautiful if she is looking skeletal.  But God's never changing rating system isn't based on our outside looks, which fade. 




So I am wondering, does ABBA bring out that Moses was "a most beautiful baby", because we all have this beauty..........

                                     The everlasting type of beauty. 

                                                                   The beauty which is His image being reflected through us.  

When I picture little babies, little children, I see this same type of beauty.  Each of us are made in His image.  These little ones, are fresh from our Creator's Canvas, the world or self hasn't come in to mar His Image, in which they are made.

There are so many of all ages, who come to my mind as being "beautiful" and each one of them lives for Christ.  Each one of them has The Holy Spirit living within them.  Each one of them takes my breath away with their inside/out beauty - men and women. 

I realize they, in becoming "childlike" in the wonderment and acceptance of Him, He has made each of them new.

 A Most Beautiful babe in Christ.



 







 

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

"???'s - Who Has The Answers" - 11/06/13 - Matthew 28:16-20, Mark 16:12-18, Luke 24:13-49, John 20:19-21:25

 

 “Don’t be upset,
                 and don’t let all these doubting questions take over."  (Luke 24:37)







We were sitting at tables, in a semi-circle, listening to information regarding the new health care laws.  I was saddened in how Medicare is cutting back on certain things, making it so the clients would have to pay for what they need. 











How all signs are pointing to even more cutbacks in the future.  I was saddened in how the events of our country (and world) are making lives only valuable by what they are able to contribute in ways of the almighty dollar.  How even more lives are becoming expendable. 







Most of the persons in the group were amputees. 




Not one of them voluntarily put themselves up to become this way, but all of them offer up their best with what they are living with. 

During the course of the meeting, there wasn't one who I considered "unworthy" to a better quality of life.  But, it isn't up to me, or any other human, to be the judge of that. 





                                                                   Although many do.

 
 
 
 
It maddens me at what one person has deemed unnecessary to pay for, trickles down to make so many lives that much harder.  A shower seat for someone unable to stand or sit without the use of a cane, crutches, or artificial limb.  New crutches every two years, for someone who uses them every walking moment during their days.  And last time I knew, 365 days make up one year - that is more steps than can be counted - each step causing wear and tear because they are putting the majority of their body weight on them.  Why?  Because they are replacing a limb they once had, which enabled them to be mobile without the aid of the crutches. 





During the course of the evening, the ripple effect of the health care expenses was discussed.  I saw first hand the example of youth believing it was a "hypothetical"  situation and could tell he didn't believe it would become a reality.   He was the youngest, surrounded by the older, and I wondered how many of them thought that way during the past years of economic recessions.   But then, how many of all ages still believe there isn't going to be an end to life as we know it and aren't preparing for it? 





As questions came out, so did fear.






 ABBA spoke to me, during our devotion time today, “Don’t be upset, and don’t let all these doubting questions take over."

And I smiled.

Again, He reminded me, there isn't anything new under the sun.  He is in complete control, all I have to do is remain strong in my faith and trust.  He will take care of the rest. 

Picking up fear, will allow doubt to seep in. 

All I do know about the future, is all I need to know,

He is "I AM" and that covers everything



Everything


Christ said to His disciples, "So thick-headed! So slow-hearted! Why can’t you simply believe all that the prophets said?", in reference to His rising from the grave, in being The Messiah. 

How often am I also as they? 

When I allow doubt to seep in, bringing all the questions. 










When I become so focused on the questions, I am blind to the answer



                                                                      Him


Tuesday, November 05, 2013

"By Name" - 11/05/13 - Matthew 27:57-28:15, Mark 15:42-16:13, Luke 23:50-24:12, John 19:38-20:18


"Jesus said, “Mary.” (John 20:16)


He knows

He knows  each  of us by name.

We aren't just a number, a face lost in the crowd.   Each  of us, are an individual, a soul, made in His Image. 

Each  of us, no matter where we have walked, are walking, will walk.

 

          EACH.

          OF.

          US.                     

                                                                 He. Calls. By. Name.


Each  of us - He died for. 

Each  of us - ABBA turned His back on our Savior for.

Each  of us - Our Savior conquered sin, He conquered death for.



               Each  of us -     He.      Calls.      By.       Name.



And how many times throughout my years, I turned and walked away from His Voice.  How many steps I took, leading away from Him, His way of life - into the darkness.  How often I was running, lost and seemingly alone, seeking love of the world, and always in emptiness.  How often I tuned out the sound of His voice, only to find myself at the bottom of life, the bottom of the pit.  Surrounded by the stench, the decay, the ugliness, the darkness of sin.



I was never

               alone.                                           



He never stopped calling my name.




                                                My. Name.




At last, I turned into the sound of His Voice, the Message of His Word.
    
       I Believed,

                          threw my self,

                                                    head over heels,

                                                                        into the embrace of His Love,

                                                                                                                            His Heart. 



His Blood.  His Grace.  His Mercy. His Forgiveness.  The Holy Spirit. 

They are all part of my name. 



My name which I hear,
     with each heartbeat,
           with each breath I take into my lungs,
                with each wonderment my eyes fall upon,
                       with each delight I experience living "in" Him.


                                                                               My name He calls me - His Beloved.




"You have moved from not my people to my people, from not beloved to beloved." (Romans 9:25)








Monday, November 04, 2013

"Transformation" - 11/04/13 - Matthew 27:32-56, Mark 15:21-41, Luke 23:49, John 19:17-37

"When they got to Jesus, they saw that He was already dead, so they didn’t break His legs.
  One of the soldiers stabbed Him in the side with his spear. Blood and water gushed out."
(John 19:34)



Even in death, they still continued to torture His body. 



Each year, when I know I am coming to the day of reading of His Crucifixion, I cringe inside.  I wrestle with guilt, shame, being uncomfortable.  It is because I know, my sins, are part of the reason He was Crucified. 

Today though, while I was praying before reading, to hear what He wanted me to hear, I felt Him transform my heart. 

Christ didn't go to the cross as an act of being able to hold the Crucifixion over my head.  He didn't do it as a "trump card", forcing me to do as He bid. 

He was Crucified because of LOVE.

No other reason. 



It was the only way for me, and others, to be with ABBA. 

He willingly went to the Cross because He was doing what His ABBA wanted Him to do.



To be the ultimate sacrifice for sin.



I pray I will never take His Words recording His ultimate sacrifice for granted.  I pray when I recognize where ABBA had to turn His back on my Savior, His Son, my heart will continue to weep.  As a mother, I can only imagine the pain ABBA and Christ were going through. 

But. 

He wants me to lay down at The Cross my sins. 

He didn't die so I continually carry them with me, a constant reminder of what He put to Death.  His Arms were stretched out wide, accepting me, as I was and am, when I fell to my knees before Him.  His blood ran down over me, as I bowed before Him, cleansing me, purifying me, making me Holy and Pure. 

It is my choice to lay down my sins, open my arms wide, and receive Him into my heart, my life, my soul - my all.  It is my choice to take the escapes He provides when sin presents itself in my path. 

It is my choice to accept His gift of LOVE and with each step, become more and more like Him.  To live and love as He has and does.  To accept His gift of grace, mercy, and forgiveness. 

It is my choice to not continually torture Him.





Saturday, November 02, 2013

"Grow On" - 11/02/13 - Matthew 26:57-27:10, Mark 14:53-15:1, Luke 22:54-71, John 18:25-27

Peter said, “Man, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” At that very moment, the last word hardly off his lips, a rooster crowed.

Just then, the Master turned and looked at Peter.

Peter remembered what the Master had said to him: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” He went out and cried and cried and cried.(Luke 22:60-62)



Today's Scriptures states that, "Peter followed, but at a safe distance"(54). 

He never lost his focus on Christ  - until it was spoken that he also was with Christ. 

At that point his focus changed.  It settled on "self"  and he went into a defensive, self protection mode, not trusting God take care of him.  He stood away from Christ - as did Judas.  The difference in these two is that Peter's focus went back to Christ.  "At that very moment, the last word hardly off his lips, a rooster crowed. Just then, the Master turned and looked at Peter."(61).  It doesn't say their eyes met across the crowd, but I feel they did - for Peter then remembered.  "He went out and cried and cried and cried".

Guilt.  Shame.  Grief.  Brokenness. 

And after his brokenness, came rebuilding. 

When our focus is off of ABBA, we begin to believe He is not aware or even involved with what is going on in our life.  Being so caught up in "self" we forget He is all knowing, all seeing, everywhere at one time, denying Him in our thoughts, actions, words.  Not having faith or trust in His ways.

And then we see Him looking at us. 

We need accountability - it causes repentance, turning away from sin, following closer to Him. The guilt and shame, can either convict us to change or consume us to such a point we begin to spiritually die. 

Our choice.

You can either be overwhelmed and broken down by the burden of guilt and shame

OR

Accept what Christ did on The Cross and grow on.  Casting  the  burden onto His waiting Shoulders - learning from it - gleaning from it for your journey ahead. 

 It all goes back to our focus.

In New Testament times, capital punishment was sometimes carried out by tying a murder victim's body directly onto the perpetrator's back. Wherever he went he was literally weighed down by his crime, with no way to escape the stench of decomposing flesh. Eventually the bacteria-filled corpse infected him too, and he died an agonizing death - as we will also die when taking on guilt and shame.  

Peter broke down.

But he didn't turn away as Judas did. When He is with Christ later, he accepted the gift of forgiveness and laid the burden of guilt and shame at His feet. Christ is designed to handle our burdens - we are not. It will consume us - it will break us - it will slowly rob life from us - as it did Judas. He never refocused on Christ, "Then he went out and hung himself". (Matt 27:5)  

You can slowly die from the burden of guilt and shame or grow on in Him. 

Grow on -  so He may use you and all that has happened in your life.  Your mistakes, your sins, your everything - for His glory. 

It's your free choice.

no guilt  or shame intended...........

Friday, November 01, 2013

"Friend" - 11/01/13 - Matthew 26:36-56, Mark 14:32-52, Luke 22:39-53, John 18:1-24


Immediately Judas went to Jesus and said, “Hail, Rabbi!” and kissed Him.  And Jesus said to him, Friend, do what you have come for.”(Matthew 26:49)







I have always been amazed at this verse.  Jesus knew, He knew that Judas was full of satan, yet called him, "friend".  He allowed him to kiss Him. 

All the while - He knew. 

As I read this verse throughout the years, I put Judas into a box all by himself.  Until His Word taught me, a sin is a sin and any sin separates us from God, I never felt I was the same as Judas.  Yes, in my life I have sinned.  Many a time - and will continue - I am human.  The battle to serve God or self will not end until my last breath.  But - I never felt I sinned as much as Judas. 

And I have. 

And I will.

Again, I stand amazed at my Christ.  Knowing what He did - and still - He loved Judas.  He always reached out to Judas in love, grace, and mercy.  Judas rejected - not Christ.  And Judas was the one who sinned.  Not Christ. 

Then He puts into my heart and mind, "Deby, who are you not to extend love, grace, and mercy - to everyone.  Who has betrayed you in such a way that Judas betrayed me?  When did you go to the Cross?" 

And I fall to His feet - humbled.  I pray for those when looking at me to see Him - not me.  I pray for Him to remove any sin from my heart.  I pray that I may be Christlike to all - and yet........

There are times when I hang on to the pride, bitterness and anger.  Knowing that it hurts my Daddy and delights satan.  I am listening and heeding the urging of The Spirit more often than not.  I am releasing that which is sin and focusing on Him.  I am having faith that He will take care of those who cause me harm.  I am seeing things through His eyes - the spiritual battle and not taking things so personal - making it all about me. 

I am learning to let go and let God. 

I am learning to call all, "Friend", praying that they may know Him.