today my adam is

23. It is actually hard to believe. I mean, he looks 23, acts 23, sounds 23. But, when I think that it has been 23 years since the first time I met him, now that is hard to believe. It is also very bittersweet. I so enjoy having our sons as our friends. I love hearing their views, taking their advice, watching them as adults……and at the same time…….my heart swells up and I have to close my eyes to keep the tears in. Particularly when I allow regret to come in. That I did not live each and every day to the fullest. That I allowed many precious minutes to fly by. When I would love to go back to day one and “do over”. Not to really change a lot. Just to enjoy the do over. And then my Father brings me comfort in memories. Many, many memories. Many filled with laughter, with smiles, with just being goofy. How full my treasure chest truly is.

He will leave in just six months. He will leave with his brother. They will have their own “home”. A place where they will create family memories without mom and dad. And that is okay. That is a part of life that I have prayed for them to have. Knowing that one day Curt and I will be gone, I want them to have their own memories to keep them even closer. To help blend their future families. For our future grandchildren to grow up more as siblings than cousins.

Happy Birthday to my special prince. That is what you are. For you so love and serve the King of Kings. I shall always look at your face and see the many images of years past. That first sighting in the delivery room, that blond curly hair above those eyes so blue they looked black. Forever will I hold that precious face as you looked up at me and smiled, in the middle of the night, as you were nursing. The sound of feet running to the door, the look of excitement and joy - because you heard your daddy’s key in the door. The times you taught, shared, loved, teased your brother - and still do. I love your sense of humor. I love the choices you have made. The friends you fill your life with. I am so very proud of “whose” you are. I am excited to see where He is leading you. And there will continue to be times when I have to close my eyes. You know, to keep the tears in.

Christopher Adam - Happy Birthday my precious son. Philippians 1:3,4