Yesterdays - 07/17/12 - Isaiah 24:1-27:13, 29:1-24

"For he's going to see his children,
my personal gift to him—lots of children.
And these children will honor me
by living holy lives."(29:23)

 today is the first day of Adam being gone.  My heart is aching, my eyes keep overflowing with tears and at times sobs escape from within me.  I so hate having our sons so far away.  I so hate the idea that we will not see them again until Christmas - almost six months away.  Throughout all of this I am trying to "look at the blessings" and it is hard.  My head knows that this is life, that they are doing well, that He is using them. 

It is my heart and selfishness that are being a bit of a problem.

I find myself yearning for what can not be.  For yesterdays to become today - to start all over and it can't. 

Time only moves one way - forward.

Throughout the verses today, I found ones that spoke to me and then came across this at the end.  I know and am so thankful that our sons are my own personal gift from Him.  It is with great relief that I know they are living holy lives, walking with Him.  This is the bright spot.

So, I put one foot in front of the other and move forward with time.  I will wash the sheets, remake the beds, trying not to cry - knowing they won't be slept in for a number of nights.  I will look about the home and see signs of them being here, pictures of little boys who are now grown men.

Smiles for my tears.