"I was most happy when some friends arrived and brought the news that you persist in following the way of Truth. Nothing could make me happier than getting reports that my children continue diligently in the way of Truth!"(3 John 4-5)
These two sons of ours. I miss the sweet little voices that came from within them when they were young. I miss how excited they became over a roll of bubble gum. I miss them being small enough they fit into my lap and my head would rest upon theirs. I loved seeing Adam's over the top joy in receiving a Bible and saying he would give his old one to Nichalas. I watched as he sat and flipped through the pages, reading bits here and there, while his other gifts lay unopened.
Too fast. Too soon.
The years have flown by.
And although the moments I spend with them as adults. The moments I spend with our grandchildren. There are still. At times. When my eyes will overflow with tears. Those times when I remember moments of yesterday and wish with all that I am to go back for just a bit.
But. Time doesn't work that way. It either comes to a standstill or presses forward.
So I strive to drink in and savor each gift of moments. I strive to keep my eyes focused on the blessings our ABBA rains down upon me, for otherwise depression would be the glass I drink from.
It is in the moments of seeing our Adam and Ashley holding hands across the table, her head bowed as he is praying over their breakfast. It is hearing our Nichalas discuss with Amber a mission they share a passion for and how they are able to serve. It is seeing the small hand of our grandson, Charlie, reach for the sky when we ask who would like to pray. It is seeing the sparkle in the eyes of our granddaughter, Ella, as she whispers the name of Jesus and points to Him in the pages of her coloring book.
Too often I beat myself up for not being the supermom I expect myself to be. Not seeing myself as our ABBA does. But while watching the videos He opened my eyes to see a mommy who delighted in her sons. I saw a mommy who shared in the excitement of living life with her sons. I saw a mommy who loved. Who loved deeply these two precious sons our ABBA blessed me with.
But most of all I see how our ABBA was there in the middle of "us". And how He still is.
This Christmas I am again reminded of the greatest gift. Our Jesus. And how much He lives within and about our sons and their families.
"Nothing could make me happier than getting reports that my children continue diligently in the way of Truth!"
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