02/22/12 - Apathy

Leviticus 19:18 "Don't seek revenge or carry a grudge against any of your people. "Love your neighbor as yourself. I am God.

I struggle with this. A lot. I try to justify my feelings. The more I pray for God to help me love as He does, the more of His Word He sends to me - showing that my feelings of revenge, or the grudge, are not justified. That they are a sin. That they cause me to have bitterness, anger.

And apathy.

Apathy -Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference. Lack of emotion or feeling; impassiveness.

This is totally against God's Word, His way - it isn't love. Yes, He does say at a certain point to "shake the dust from our feet", but doesn't say to stop loving them. Stop praying for them. He instructs us to "not cast pearls before swine". I'm all about the shaking and not casting - it's actually easy to do. To walk away and not look back.

To develop apathy.

It's the loving and praying for a person who has rejected me, caused harm to me, who doesn't love me or to those I love . To ask God to bless them as He has me. I fight with the thinking that after being the type of person they are, I don't want them to have the blessings I do from knowing Him. I don't want to share Him with them. How selfish revenge and carrying a grudge makes me. How it comes between me and Him.

I am thankful that the Holy Spirit "moans and groans" for me - that God knows my heart better than I do. I am thankful that He knows, even when I fail, that I do not want to have a heart of apathy.

In doing so, I create a hardened heart towards that person. I am not vulnerable towards their attacks. I am not trusting in my God to protect and lift me up.

I am not trusting Him and His promises.

How like the Israelites on their journey I am. So often, I whine, complain, cry out in fear, want to go back to my "comfort zone". So often, I do not trust in His way, His time, His Word. This whole passage today (Lev 17:1-19:37) are laws that He created to prevent us from self-destructing. Which we are all about. Look at our world today - by not living by His way, we are in such a state of destruction. The economy, the environment, and most of all the state of our minds, bodies, emotions. There is so much evil that is seen in our present world.

Because so many have chosen to not live by His Word - His laws.

Please may I not only turn from apathy towards those who have hurt me, but to all of those who are lost in this world.

To love as He loves.