Sometimes when I reflect back on my past, when I was single, my role as a wife and mommy, I cry. I cry because hind site really is 20/20. So many things I did/have done wrong.
Such a burden removed when I see that He is so much bigger than my mistakes.
Curt and I brought into our marriage so much garbage from our past. It has taken years to break the mold and follow God's plan. What a difference in living that has made! satan loves when I start beating myself up with regrets. When I think about instances, what I did, said, I feel sick inside. he loves when I pack this bag of garbage around and allow it to interfere in my life with God. There is a reason for His command in Philippians 4:8-9,
"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."
All we are to focus on is what He is. We are to focus on Him. I so pray that Adam, whomever his future bride is, Nichalas and Amber, all our future generations, have an uncluttered and focused heart for Him. I so pray that they will obey Him and live by His directions and counsel. This is my prayer for Curt and myself too. To focus on His truths.
I love how He is cleansing my heart - taking out the garbage so to speak!
I don't know if this is true or not, but it helps illustrate how a cluttered and unfocused heart can consume all of you. In ancient Rome there was a form of capital punishment which was gruesome and terrifying. The idea was that if you murdered someone, your victim’s corpse was then chained to your back. As the sun beat down on you and as days and weeks passed, rancid odours would nauseate you as the body rotted and decayed. Infection quickly set in as it seeped into your own body and killed you.
If we allow our mistakes to be our focus, we hinder ourselves for Him. We are robbing ourselves from the fruits of the spirit. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness"(Gal 5:21-23) and the older I am becoming, the more I guard my "treasures' from Him - and that to me is what these fruits are - my treasures.
"And give my son Solomon an uncluttered and focused heart "so" that he can obey what you command, live by your directions and counsel"
The most important word in all of this is "so".
Only then are we free to be all He has created us to be.
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