Forgiveness God's way - when thought about from a human perspective doesn't make sense. We think that revenge, defensiveness, rightful anger, cutting a person off, are the way to retaliate to someone who has hurt us.
I recognize today that many of the people who offend me are acutally pressing buttons that sometimes have nothing to do with the moment. I am also recognizing that the reason there is even a human reaction to the "pushing of these buttons", is because I haven't completely forgiven.
Amazing how much power something can be given by holding onto it.
In the past year, through events that have occured in my life, God is teaching me. Making me face issues that I haven't forgiven. He has thrown back the rug that I have been sweeping the pain, anger, bitterness under. Thinking they are hidden by my smile, my clinging to the Word - and they aren't. God has a way of allowing us to walk around or over the bump in the rug - for awhile. Then He has us deal with it - His time, His way.
Most times His ways don't make much sense - they are opposite of everything we think is the "right way". The way to protect us. His ways seem to leave us even more vulnerable, more exposed. But - when you follow His ways - there is true freedom in Him.
" But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.
Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified."(Galatians 5:22-23)
I realize the way I try to hold onto "my" ways are killing my life for what it could be when living His way. I am literally choking the life out of life - much like holding water in the palm of my hand. It still seeps away until nothing is left. My clinging to the past of cherished moments, putting my identity in position, wife, mother, beauty instead of Him has been stunting my growth in Him. Holding onto not forgiving has been hardening my heart, creating bitterness, anger, self-righteousness and self pride.
In these past few months, I have decided to let go. My prayer for years has been for Him to remove all evil from my heart - and He has/is. How exciting for me to forgive. It goes against everything I have believed worked and blows my mind the effect it has. "But if you let it go, reckless in your love," - reckless in my love. By cleaning my heart, becoming reckless, I am now loving and praying for those people who have hurt me - doing what doesn't seem normal or fair to me. I want to be near them knowing that I may be the only vessel of Christ they are exposed to. I want them to have a life In Him - to experience the fruits of the Spirit. To truly live life. To be intimate with Him. It is amazing how living His way really is true love - a love that keeps growing and consuming my heart.
And knowing with everything I am it is a love "I’ll have it forever, real and eternal"
1 comment:
This is the love of Christ in you, a love the world knows nothing about. Thanks for sharing what He's doing in your life.
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