"Ask, Receive, Utilize" - 05/31/15 - 1 Kings 3-4; 2 Chronicles 1; Psalm 72

"God said, "What can I give you? Ask."            
"Here's what I want:
Give me a God-listening heart,
discerning the difference between good and evil." (I Kings 3:5,9)


In my intimate relationship with ABBA,

He is there the same as He is for every one. 

What is it I most desire? 

To be Christlike,
serving Him in every breath I take and release,
or to serve self and make life all about me? 

"Heart Free" - 05/30/15 - Psalm 119:1-88

"I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free".(32)

I love all His days given to me, but I love storms.  I love rainy days. 

I love the coziness that comes from being on the inside looking out through the windows, knowing I am safe and warm inside.  I love the memories tucked into my heart.  One I treasure most is when the boys were young, after a downpour, along with Jacob and Lucas, we went outside and played in the water running down the street on its way to the river.  We made little boats out of paper and sticks to have races.  We were soaked to the bones from the splashing.  Laughter filled the air. 

I love the refreshment which comes from the warm, gentle summer popup showers, pouring down upon me, hot and sweaty from working outside.  I love dodging through the big fat drops, trying to take cover before it is a solid sheet of water. 

I love water. 

A physical life source, as are His commands. 

I love how His Word has transformed my heart, as the rains transform a plant drooped over in dryness into one standing firm and tall, refreshed. 
I love how His Word has given me the promises and Truth deep within my heart, as the rains penetrate into this earth. 
I love how His Word tells me I am covered with His Grace and Mercy through the Blood of my Savior, as the rains pouring down. 

I love how His Word has given me new life.  Just as the rains.

I love to run in the path of Your commands, as I love running in the depths of the waters, making its journey to the rivers, seas, and oceans after a hard rain.

I love drinking You in, as I taste the coolness of Your pure water raining down upon my upturned face. 

I love You have set my heart free in Your Love, as the rains coming down from the heavens.

"So That" -05/29/15 - 1 Kings 1-2; Psalm 37, 71, 94

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.(Psalm 94:19)

There are times when I reflect back on my past, when I was single, my role as a wife and mommy - and I cry.  I cry because hind site really is 20/20.  So many things I did/have done wrong. So many moments I have caused great pain and sorrow to my ABBA.  my Christ.  The Holy Spirit.  To others.

If I allowed myself, I would become anxious and think I haven't been nor will I ever be - good enough.  Such a burden is removed when I see He is so much bigger than my mistakes. When I see and believe,  He uses all - all - things for His Glory.

Curt and I brought into our marriage so much garbage from our past.  It has taken years to break the cycle and follow God's plan.  What a difference in living this has made! 

satan loves when I start beating myself up with regrets.  When I think about instances, what I did, said, I feel sick inside.  he loves when I pack this bag of garbage around and allow it to interfere in my living life with God.  There is a reason for ABBA's command in Philippians 4:8-9,

"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."

All we are to focus on is what He is.  We are to focus on Him.  We are to focus on His consolations and His promises, written to each of us throughout Scripture.  Not the lies of satan.  Not the lies of this world.  Not the lies we tell ourselves. 

I so pray Adam, whomever his future bride is,  Nichalas and Amber, all our future generations, to have an uncluttered and focused heart for Him.  I so pray, they will each see themselves as our ABBA sees them.  "Fearfully and wonderfully made".  I so pray, they will obey Him and live by His directions and counsel.  This is my prayer for Curt, others and myself as well. 

To focus on His truths. 

I love how He is cleansing my heart - taking out the garbage so to speak. 

I don't know if this is true or not, but it helps illustrate how a cluttered and unfocused heart will eventually consume the all of you.  In ancient Rome there was a form of capital punishment which was gruesome and terrifying. The punishment was if you murdered someone, your victim’s corpse was then chained to your back. As the sun beat down on you and as days and weeks passed, rancid odors would nauseate you as the body rotted and decayed. Infection quickly set in as it seeped into your own body and killed you.  Thus the one murdered, killed the murderer.

If we allow our mistakes to be our focus, we hinder ourselves for Him.  We are allowing the "garbage" to seep in and become a part of us.  To slowly kill us.  We are robbing ourselves from the fruits of The Holy Spirit.  "But the fruit of The Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness"(Gal 5:21-23). 

With each passing day, the more I guard my "treasures' from Him.

 And these fruits - these fruits are my "treasures". 

"And give my son Solomon an uncluttered and focused heart "so that" he can obey what You command, live by Your directions and counsel""(1 Chron 29:19)

Two very important words in all of this are "so that". 

"So that" we are living in the freedom - being all He has created us to be. 

 

"Yet another reason I do........." - 05/28/15 - Psalm 111-118

"I love The LORD ,
because He hears My voice and my supplications.

"Because He has inclined His ear to me,
Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live.

The cords of death encompassed me And the terrors of Sheol came upon me;
I found distress and sorrow.

Then I called upon the name of The LORD : "O LORD , I beseech You, save my life!"

Gracious is The LORD , and righteous;

Yes, our God is compassionate.

The LORD preserves the simple;
I was brought low, and He saved me.

Return to your rest, O my soul, For The LORD has dealt bountifully with you.

For You have rescued my soul from death,
My eyes from tears,
My feet from stumbling.

I shall walk before The LORD In the land of the living."(116:1-9)    

                        

"His Treasures" - 05/27/15 - 1 Chronicles 26-29; Psalm 127

"all of this was in the care of"(I Chronicles 26:28)

At the auction, it was alone by the wall of the old home. Its legs had been removed and they were laying against its top, which was covered by layers of ugly old varnish. When it came time to bid on it, no one raised their hand - except me. I bought it for $2.

I bought it at a time in our financial life when $2 was much like $2000. It wouldn't fit into the car, so I had to go home and get my Curt and our truck. He wasn't impressed with my "bargain", knowing our finances and how often my "bargains" entailed work from him. He kept his thoughts to himself as we loaded it into the truck and took it home.

I put the legs back on by myself. The table wobbled. I tightened them and the wobble lessened. There were many moments, while sitting at the table, I would pick at the old varnish, thinking I needed to take the time and do it proper.

It took the help of others to make needed changes.

Upon closer inspection, Curt discovered I had put the legs on backwards. No more wobble. My mom, newly retired with time on her hands, took the table and upon its return it had transformed from ugly to beautiful. 

How often we take the lives of others.  We take the gifts and talents we have been given.  We take all we have been instructed to care for and cast them aside.  Leaning up against the wall, covered with ugly.  How often we take all we have been given charge over and do not use it for Him. 

We are instructed to be in care of those around us. 

Each time I am reminded of my "self" when I look or sit at this $2 table.

At the auction, my ABBA is the only one who raised His Hand.
He bought me at the price of His Son.
He placed me in His Church, my new Home.
It has taken the help of Him, His Son, The Holy Spirit, His Word, His Family, in the work of transforming my "self".
He has taken the "ugly" and transformed it into "beautiful".

One of my favorite promises - 05/26/15 - Psalm 131, 138-139, 143-145

"God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.   I'm an open book to You; even from a distance, You know what I'm thinking.   You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of Your sight.     


You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence.


I look behind me and You're there, then up ahead and You're there, too -  Your reassuring presence, coming and going.     


This is too much, too wonderful - I can't take it all in!    Is there anyplace I can go to avoid Your Spirit? to be out of Your sight?


If I climb to the sky, You're there! If I go underground, You're there!   If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon,     


You'd find me in a minute -  You're already there waiting!     


Then I said to myself, "Oh, He even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!"   It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to You; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to You.     


Oh yes, You shaped me first inside, then out; You formed me in my mother's womb.  I thank you, High God - You're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!


I worship in adoration - what a creation!  You know me inside and out, You know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.  Like an open book, You watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before You, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.     


Your thoughts - how rare, how beautiful! God, I'll never comprehend them!


I couldn't even begin to count them - any more than I could count the sand of the sea.


Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with You!        


And please, God, do away with wickedness for good! And you murderers - out of here! -  all the men and women who belittle You, God, infatuated with cheap god-imitations.   See how I hate those who hate You, God, see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;  I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred. Your enemies are my enemies!     


Search me, O God, and know my heart ;


Try me and know my anxious thoughts ;  


And see if there be any hurtfulway in me,


And lead me in the everlasting way."(1-24)

"Part of His Army" - 05/25/15 - 1 Chronicles 23-25

"They were on regular duty to serve God according to their assignment and the required number." (23:31)

I can remember walking through Arlington Cemetery years ago with Curt.  As I read the grave markers, my heart was overwhelmed with sorrow.  Looking up to see Adam and Nichalas walking ahead of us, alive, while those surrounding us had died at a younger age than they were at the time.

This day - Memorial Day -  marks a day when we honor all of those who have given their lives, not only in death, but in time, pain, sacrifice, for the freedom we are gifted with today. 

War began when satan wanted to take the place of God. 

And each of us have been given an assignment in this war for souls. 

Before he died, all David was doing in preparing and delegating the people, was centered around God. 

Much different than our country and so many other places in the world.  If I didn't know God was in total control, know He has my back, know I am in the Palm of His Hand, I would be afraid.  Afraid of the consequences our country is facing, and going to face, because of the choices the leaders, elected by the people, are making. 

I look at all the young persons in our lives and wonder what this world will be like when they are my age.  I am so thankful our whole family is part of His Army, knowing we are part of the hope for the future.  There is nothing new under the sun, and life goes through regular cycles.  I love knowing our children have chosen to be His Disciples and His Army is continuing to grow in those He touches through them.  I love there is hope in this dark world and we are a part of that hope.  I am honored and blessed in seeing throughout their lives, they have allowed themselves to be His Vessels.

It is alarming how rapidly our country is spiraling downward.  How quickly the forces of evil are making things, which before have been tolerated, now openly approved of.  How the sins of the world are becoming the normal and the ways of God have been "black listed". 

History shows us throughout time, a empire will kill itself from within, when ruled by sin. 

As we are being ruled by sin.

The ones in charge become so overloaded with self power, they crush and destroy the ones who are under them.  Sinners, who believe their way of life is the way for all, end up being killed by the very sins they are pushing to "become".  They are pushing their rights, all the while stepping over and trampling ours. 

Prayer in schools - out. 

"In God we trust" becoming out on the money. 

Ten Commandments displayed in a courthouse - out. 

God's ways being taught in schools - out. 

God's family order - a minority. 

People upholding human life over animals. 

Wars raging throughout the lands. 

The cancer of sin is spreading throughout our world.  It is not a silent killer anymore.  It is blatant in rearing its ugly head, intent on destroying anything and anyone that walks in God. 

The spiritual battle is plain to see - are you looking? 

Are you taking a stand "in" Him?  Are you putting on His Armor every day, ready to fight?  Not only for the Army of God, but for those who are lost outside of Him.
We are promised He will fortify us with all the weaponry needed in the spiritual war surrounding us.  This is why we are here - to go as we live and make Disciples.  We each have different gifts and talents, are you using them for His glory?  or are you standing back, silently watching evil unfold its dark wings?

To fight this cancer of sin, we need to be on regular duty to serve God according to our assignment.

"How can you not love Him back" - 05/24/15 - Psalm 108-110

"My heart is steadfast, O God;
I will sing and make music with all my soul.

Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.

I will praise You, O LORD,
among the nations; I will sing of You among the peoples.

For great is Your Love, higher than the heavens;
Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens,
and let Your glory be over all the earth.

Save us and help us with Your right hand,
that those You love may be delivered."(108:1-6)

How He brightens even a rainy Sunday morning! 

"Later ABBA" - 05/23/15 - 2 Samuel 24; 1 Chronicles 21-22; Psalm 30

"You're all set—get to work! And God-speed!"  (1Chron 22:16)


David went to such great lengths to prepare the materials Solomon needed to build The Temple. He did it not for the bragging rights that his family was the one, but he did it for the glory of God.

 David was so excited -you can hear it in his voice.







While reading this, God brought to my mind the many (many) times He has excitedly prepared me for His work, down to the smallest detail, and instead of jumping on board -

I procrastinate.  

Remembering the many times, as a mom, I would come up with some "awesome" activity to share with the boys, only to be met with the, "later mom".

It took the wind out of my sails.

Why do I think I don't do that to God?

 Here He is -
wanting only the best for me
preparing everything that I need
knowing me better than I do
and having on hand the blessings that touch my heart.

And I will greet Him with, "later ABBA".

Each time  I come up with such lame excuses when He shares with me what He wants me to do.

"I don't know the right words to say"
"they don't want to have me around"
"I'm tired"
"I'll look really dumb and embarrass you"
"too busy"
.

Then He reminds me yet again

He is in control.

It isn't by chance He has me planted where I am, how I am, who I am with - it is all part of His design.

 And He has "prepared" me.

Just as David was preparing Solomon to build the temple, He has/is preparing me for work in building The Church. 

How selfish I am in the times when I decide "my way" is more important.
My body is His temple.
He has supplied me with the knowledge of salvation, opportunities to share it, and I have audacity to say, "later ABBA".

 It is during those times I have decided to choose "self" instead of Him.
 It is during those times that I missed an opportunity to reach "one more" for Him.
 It is during those times that I allow all the materials He prepared for me to go unused.
To sit idle. 

Who do I think I am to answer The Lord in such a way?
Having total disregard to Who He is.  The great "I AM".

I know in all the times I have jumped up in excitement and began to "build",  I have received more blessings than I can ever acknowledge. It is during the times of serving "Him" instead of "self" I find I am really living.  

Continually I am praying that no matter the situation - in faith I will "get to work"
and never greet Him with, "later ABBA".

"Right Now" - 05/22/15 - Psalm 95, 97-99

"Sing to The LORD a new song,
for He has done marvelous things;
His right hand and His Holy arm have worked salvation for Him.

The LORD has made His salvation known and revealed His righteousness to the nations.

He has remembered His love and His faithfulness to the house of Israel;
all the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.

Shout for joy to The LORD,

all the earth,

burst into jubilant song with music;
make music to The LORD
with the harp, with the harp and the sound of singing, with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn--
 shout for joy before The LORD,

The King.

Let the sea resound, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it.
Let the rivers clap their hands,
let the mountains sing together for joy; 
let them sing before The LORD,

for he comes to judge the earth.
He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples with equity.(98)

I can hear the birds outside, singing nonstop and wonder does my heart sing also?
I can see the grandness of His nature and wonder do my eyes take for granted all He gives?
I can feel the elements of nature, all under His control, and wonder do I Trust in His control of my life? 
I can look back and see the places where He has brought me through and wonder how is my faith for days ahead.
I can watch the hands on the clock ticking by and wonder if I am utilizing each moment for His glory.
If I am living for Him and not self.
I can see the beauty in the faces of those He has placed into my heart and life and wonder if I take them for granted.  Or do I fill my days caught up in the "to do list" of life and not the lives of those about me.

I can read this psalm and wonder - is my heart near to bursting in my love for Him in such a way I am unable to contain it?  Do I sing?  Do I dance?  Do I leap for joy?  All because I can not help myself because His love runs through the all of me? 

I can remember we are given only one life, one moment, one second, one chance - to live as He desires - so full of Him we are near to bursting.

"In The Warzone" - 05/21/15 - 2 Samuel 22-23; Psalm 57

"He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me."
(2 Samuel 22:20)  



I think about how much God defends me.......and mostly I am unaware of the different ways, the extent.  When mowing or weed eating along the road, I picture His angels guarding our backs against the oncoming cars.  With a blink of an eye...........

I think about how He and His army never stop.  So much of His Word causes me to have a vision of His vast army, marching as one, headed for battle - for me.  For His family. 

They say it is always darkest before the dawn.  It seems when we are in a trial, or valley, when it seems there is no hope - His army arrives - at dawn.  How I have to remind myself He is always there with me - every step.  We are so unaware of the whole spiritual battle raging around and about us.  He isn't.  He is right there in the thick of it all - guiding, protecting, keeping the peace - my Commander in Chief. 

What a comfort I receive knowing this, He is on the march........all night long.  He always, always arrives as dawn breaks.  Through the death of His Son - my Savior - He arose and won the battle over the grave - over sin.  Much as the dawn of the sunrise bringing in each new day.  I love knowing - I am on the side which has already won this war. 

 I love knowing -  I belong to the army who is always marching, taking up the call to win others to Him.                         

"He Knows and still" - 05/20/15 - Psalm 5, 38, 41-42

You know me inside and out,
You hold me together,
You never fail
to stand me tall
in your presence
so I can look you in the eye." (Psalm 41:12) 

It amazes me how often I try to convince myself my ABBA doesn't really know me............that if He did, He wouldn't really love me as He says He does. 

His love - it is so unconditional, so overwhelming, so............incomprehensible. 

It isn't until I get to heaven that I will know through and through - without a doubt - the extent of His love. 

And satan loves I can't comprehend the whole picture of His love. 
he loves I doubt, when I put myself down, beat myself up, when I mess up. 

This is where Amazement comes into the picture. 

I know what I am like inside, down deep.  I know the hidden thoughts I have, the silent words I think,

I know the dirt on me. 

And in all of that "knowing", He knows me even better - through and through - "inside and out". 
He "Holds me together".  He doesn't leave me in a jumbled mess.  He "holds me together". 

I think about when you hold onto something or someone who is in a mess - usually it is close to your heart.  You are then able to use your body and your hands in "holding it together".  This is exactly where God holds me. 

Close to His heart.

And when He has achieved putting me back together,
He holds me at eye level and admires me. 
He drinks me in. 
He desires to be the center of my life. 

He loves me.

satan and self want me to believe I have to hide from Him when I am a mess.  Through His Word I have learned truth. 
He stands me at eye level to Him - so I can look Him in the eye and we can celebrate together. 

This makes me think about the connection Curt and I have after all these years of sharing life together - of taking time, energy, getting to know each other. When at a social event, across the room from each other, we can look at each other and know what the other is thinking.
Without any words - just a look.

This is the connection I have with my ABBA. 

With just a look I know - I am His and He is mine.

Amazement in knowing -  this is all our ABBA wants from each of us. 

To be His and Him be ours.

"Each One" - 05/19/15 - 2 Samuel 19-21

"The woman told Joab, “Sounds good. His head will be tossed to you from the wall.”  The woman presented her strategy to the whole city and they did it: They cut off the head of Sheba son of Bicri and tossed it down to Joab."  (2 Samuel 20:21,22)

Life and people are so far removed from the Garden of Eden - God's original plan before sin was chosen.

There is so much tolerance today – of what seems "normal", therefore, we become numb to the hugeness of sin,  the destruction.  How it becomes nothing to "cut off someone’s head".  How much we have dehumanized people with the act of abortions, how we treat the elderly, homeless, those who are different.  It isn't only during the act of wars this has happened.  Throughout time, man has chosen to take persons and cast them aside as you would garbage. 

 

"Each" one of us are made in His image.  His treasure.  His desire. 

 "Each" one of us.

 The standards we tend to live by are not His, but our own, and often double standards at that.  Constantly changing as we judge, condemn, and even kill, because someone is not living as we deem they "should" be. 

His pure Love is not what most persons are looking through - it is self-love.

There are times when people such as this are given much power and I wonder why.  How did they arrive at the station of where they are at. 

So many of these destroyers are self-righteous, deciding who is a treasure,  who has a worth, even who is worthy of forgiveness, with no regard to God and His ways.  No fear for His punishment.  

How far away so many people have went from Him.
The state of so many people today, are cutting off their own heads and tossing them before satan.  
Committing suicide to stand with the side of sin.
Dehumanizing because "they" believe they are god.

And He tells me my heart, "Deby, you must watch you do not dehumanize the dehumanizers -  becoming like the world".
I must continually watch that I don't forget. 
"Each" of us is made in His image. 
"Each" of us He desires to be His.
"Each" of us are a precious soul He created.

I must continually be praying
my heart breaks for what breaks His. 

I must continually be looking
at "each" of us through His eyes.

"My Soul" - 05/18/15 - Psalm 26, 40, 58, 61-62, 64

"My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.

He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.

On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength,

my refuge is in God.

Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah."(62:5-8)

                            

"Pass HIM All of the Potatoes" - 05/17/15 - 2 Samuel 16-18

compared to that this Benjaminite is small potatoes." (16:11)

There are times when we come up against a piece of life and forget God is bigger than anything. 
Or anyone. 

These are the times we bend down and pick up Doubt, instead of picking up His Word.  

Looking back behind us, the events we turned over to Him, which seemed so big at the time, are sometimes such a distant memory we have to really dig to remember. 

And though He is bigger than all, He wants us to give over to Him everything, even the small potatoes. 

If not, we are in danger of becoming so full of "self" taking care of the "problem", we forget about Him.  We begin to rely and live on/for  "self" - until the next "big potato" comes along - then we run to Him for help.  Or become angry our "self" world has been invaded. 

To escape the trap of self-love our focus needs to be on Him continually, never doubting He will take care of us........

regardless of the size of the potatoes. 

"He is Mine - I am HIS" - 05/16/15 - Psalm 3-4, 12-13, 28, 55

"Blessed be The LORD,

Because He has heard the voice of my supplication.

The LORD is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;

Therefore my heart exults,
And with my song             

I shall thank Him.

The LORD is my strength,

And He is a saving defense to me - His anointed.

He has saved me - one of His people
and blessed His inheritance to me

He shall be my shepherd also,

and carry me forever." (28:6-9)  

"HIS" Favorite - 05/15/15 - 2 Samuel 13-15

^" King David heard the whole story and was enraged, but he didn’t discipline Amnon.

David doted on him because he was his firstborn. "
(2 Samuel 13:21)


I have often wondered why David took the "ostrich approach" when it came to being a parent.   After the rape of his daughter Tamar, she would have felt worthless, but to have her father not hold Amnon, her brother, her rapist, accountable, I don't know how she endured the pain.  Although Absalom, her brother took her into his home, he told her, "But now keep silent, my sister, he is your brother; do not take this matter to heart"(13:20).  Really??? 

David's "ostrich approach" caused so much pain.  division.  heartache. 

His lack of holding Amnon accountable caused Absalom to wait two full years in seeking revenge for his sister through the killing of their brother.   It is admirable  how he was towards his sister, even naming his daughter after her, but he held onto the anger and bitterness.  For two years he spent his life planning, waiting, growing a hardened heart.  He allowed the sin of his brother to rob him of a life God wanted for him. 

David's lack of holding Amnon accountable most likely destroyed any relationship he had or would have with Tamar.  It also was the beginning of the end of his relationship with Absalom.  I imagine also with the children of Absalom.  The ripples were being felt down the line. 

The Scriptures show us often how favoritism corrupts the family unit which God created.  He didn’t intend for a parent to love or treat another child superior.   And when a parent does, it creates a monster.  The parent isn’t parenting, they are enabling.   These monsters are a breeding ground for manipulation, lying, division, and sin. 
I am sure those who are not favored or made the scapegoat, felt they would never get a break.  They grow accustomed to having the worst believed about them, and being instructed their behavior must change to conform to those who are favored.  It sometimes seems how everyone is to treat the favored one, is much like holding court for royalty.

 

 

There is such comfort knowing He is bigger than anything or anyone.  And even when we are “raped” by favoritism, He is in control and His Truth will come out.   It is during those times we must remind ourselves, we are His favorites and unlike humans, He loves us all, nor does He rule with double standards.  He is our Caretaker, our Father.  Our ABBA.

I love how He is able to actually give us peace in our memories of mountains we have come over with Him, so we no longer have to "endure" the pain, but be free of it.  Removing all the elements which cause hearts to become hardened, robbing us from the life ABBA planned for us. 

He gives us a life rich in "the fruit of The Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)  A life which breaks the cycle of destruction. 

Filling us with Him, His ways, His Words- so we are able to not take personal the attacks and look upon all persons in love through His eyes.  Creating ripples of Him for all future generations.

Our ABBA - loving all of us as "His Favorite". 

"Laundered Once/Forever Clean" - 05/14/15 - Psalm 32, 51, 86, 122

Generous in love—God, give grace! Huge in mercy—wipe out my bad record.

Scrub away my guilt,
soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I've been;
my sins are staring me down. (Psalm 51:1-3)








I can remember when I was little, going into the basement with my mom and watching her do laundry.  She had the old wringer type of washing machine.  I remember how red her hands were from the hot water, sweat on her face and the dirty clothes. 

For many years there were the old cloth diapers along with our other clothes. 

Even though she would soak them in the diaper pail, they were still in need of washing.  She had to reach into that nasty, dirty, water and pull them out one by one.  Wringing them out and putting them into the washer.  They were stained yellow and brown from the messes my sisters had made in them. 

Ugly and smelly. 

After they went through the wash cycle, she would then have to reach in and take them out one by one.  Putting them through the wringer to extract as much water from them as possible so they would dry quicker on the line.  This was before they had a dryer and no matter the weather, they had to be  hung out to dry.  Sometimes in the winter they would freeze and she would bring them in to hang on chairs, a line strung up between doorways, to thaw out. 

And almost every time after washing, wringing, and drying - they came out white as snow. 

Today, I enjoy doing laundry, perhaps because we have the modern day washer/dryer set.  When Adam was little, we used the cloth diapers and they usually came out looking new.   I still did and do use my clothes lines whenever the weather permits.  There is something in me which enjoys the taking of a dirty garment, getting it clean, hanging it on the line and smelling that wonderful outdoors scent as I take it down and fold it, putting it away for the next time. 

I know when my ABBA is "doing my dirty laundry" - it isn't something He delights in.  I know He had to give me The Blood of His only Son to wipe away the stains and dirt from my sins which covered me.  I can still see my mom's chapped, red hands and know my Christ became bruised and bloody as He was the cleansing power of my "dirty laundry". 

I also know without a doubt my ABBA enjoys taking me into Him, drawing in the sweet, clean smell I offer up to Him.  I know without a doubt His hands tenderly fold me into being the garment I need to be for Him.  I know without a doubt He is readying me for "the next time" when He needs me to be used for Him. 

I also know without a doubt, I have been "washed whiter than snow".

"Always - in All Ways - HIS Jedidiah" - 05/13/15 - 2 Samuel 11-12; 1 Chronicles 20

"Then it happened in the spring, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him and all Israel, and they destroyed the sons of Ammon and besieged Rabbah.

But David stayed at Jerusalem. 

Now when evening came David arose from his bed and walked around on the roof of the king's house, and from the roof he saw a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful in appearance.      
                                                   
So David sent and inquired about the woman.

And one said, "Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?" 

David sent messengers and took her,
and when she came to him, he lay with her;

and when she had purified herself from her uncleanness, she returned to her house.
The woman conceived;
and she sent and told David, and said, "I am pregnant."  (2Samuel 12:1-5)                                                  

Her hands were tied.  As a woman in that era, she had no rights.  no voice.  no choice.

Bathing on the rooftop in the cool of the night was a common practice back then.  It wasn't a place to put yourself on display.  It was simply the place where you bathed.

David home - standing upon the roof top in the spring, when kings go to battle. 

That wasn't common practice.  His role was to be on the battlefield watching over his men,  not on the rooftop watching the wife of his bodyguard, Uriah the Hittite and also the daughter of another of his bodyguards, Eliam.  

Have you ever noticed the ripples produced when we are not in the place where ABBA wants us to be?  The restlessness which comes upon us when not doing the will of God?  How we always end up getting ourselves in a pickle, seeing we can't correct the situation on our own, and then we turn to ABBA, crying out for His help.  

"Now when the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she mourned for her husband.                                                         
When the time of mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house and she became his wife; then she bore him a son.
But the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the LORD .(2 Samuel 11:26-27) 

So far, we have David the king, sending messengers for the woman he saw from afar and staking claim on her.  Even though she belonged to another - Uriah - whom he happened to know, probably quite well.  We then have David set up the execution of Uriah, after his plan to have the pregnancy lay on the husband and not himself, didn't go how he wanted it to. 

"Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and went in to her and lay with her; and she gave birth to a son, and he named him Solomon." (2 Samuel 12:24)

I wonder often how Bathsheba felt about David.  Did she fear him?  Was she "star stuck"  Was she a conniving woman who saw this as a way to get ahead in life?  Did she stand up straight and look at the positives?  Did she fall in love with him?

"and she gave birth to a son, and he named him Solomon
now The LORD loved him
and sent word through Nathan the prophet, and he named him Jedidiah for the LORD'S sake.
(2 Samuel 12:24-25)

"Jedidiah" - Beloved of The Lord

You realize, don't you, that you are His "Jedidiah".  His Beloved. 

No matter what sins in your life, when you repented and asked Jesus to be your Savior, He then covered you with His Grace and Mercy.  Our ABBA promises us, "For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen." (Romans 11:36)

No matter what you have done.  where you are/have been.  He is there - arms outstretched - desiring nothing more than to bring you into His fold. 

As He did with David.  David - whom I have grown to love throughout the years of reading His Word.  David - whom I relate to often.  David - human - just like me.  just like you.

David -  "God testified concerning him: 'I have found David son of Jesse, a man after my own heart; he will do everything I want him to do.' (Acts 13:22)

Put your name in the place of "David" - You are His Jedidiah.  Promise. 
 

"The All Of Me" - 05/12/15 - Psalm 65-67, 69-70

I love you more than I can say.
Because I'm madly in love with you,
They blame me for everything they dislike about you. (69:6)

Words.  How inadequate are mine in trying to express to my ABBA my love for Him. 
Actions.  How often they fail to convey what is in my heart for Him.
Thoughts.  How often they slip away from their focus on Him and onto myself.

Loved.  By Him.  More than I can ever love Him back. 
Covered.  By Him.  Unconditionally He covers my repentive heart.
Lead.  His.  To be less of me and more of Him.
Held.  Forever.  Eternally.  In the
palm of His Hand.

For the all of me.
To be at this place. 
To be at this point. 
To be so madly in love with ABBA. 
For Him to be my only Idol. 

He is my ALL.

To be all I worship.  Adore.  Desire.


It is only then, am I able to see the Spiritual warfare about me. 
It is only then, am I able to stand firm and not take attacks personal. 

To see beyond the persons, their actions, and see their souls. 
Crying out for Him.  And pray.  For them. 

Only then, am I able to love as He loves.

"Dancing With My ABBA" - 05/11/15 - 2 Sam10; 1 Chronicles 19; Psalm 20

"That clinches it - help's coming, an answer's on the way, everything's going to work out." (Psalm 20:6)

The sky to the east was dark over in Missouri.  You could see the sheets of rain off in the distance.  I was in a dilemma - having another two hours to complete the mowing job I was on and another hour plus at another site.  The man had called asking if it were possible to mow for him until he had bought a lawnmower and his yard hadn't yet been mowed this season.  I had given him my word I would take care of his yard later that Saturday evening - before dark.  This storm blowing in hadn't been part of my plan. 

My mind was wrestling over leaving Huber's to go take care of his lawn and coming back Sunday to finish it up or to continue where I was.  I prayed over what to do and He instructed.  "Stay and finish".  I felt the drops of rain began to fall as I loaded up my mower, thankful ABBA had held off the storm long enough for me to complete Huber's.  Pulling up to the stop light where I usually headed right to go home, I instantly felt a strong pull to go left.

I could vaguely see them a few blocks ahead. There they were, right after the start of 8th street, two persons, huddled together against the wind along the side of the road, trying to pull their hoods over their heads.

He told me, "They are your Divine Appointment, give them a ride". 

Immediately many "What if" thoughts came surging in as I drove past my turn pulling up along side of them.  They broke apart to look at me as I stopped, and I saw they were not two, they were three.

In the middle of them was a little girl. 

Climbing in we took off and I deposited them another five miles to their home.  They had decided to take a hike and got caught in the storm. 

Alone in my truck on my way home, dirty and tired, mowers behind me, I knew as my heart smiled

 my ABBA needed me as part of His Plan.

He knew they would be in need of a ride.
He used me.  His time - His way. 

The skies opened up and the rains beat down when I had been home for just a bit.  I looked at Curt and said, "they would have never made it to their home before this". 

The man, when I called to apologize about not getting to his lawn, wasn't at all upset.  Tuesday would be soon enough.

How much I love He has given us the choice to have faith and trust in Him during the dance of storms in life we will and do get caught in.  We need only to listen and follow His lead. 

How much I love that nothing is a coincidence - our ABBA is always in control.

"It Is Happy Mom's Day" - 05/10/15 - Psalm 50, 53, 60, 75

"We give thanks to You, O God, we give thanks, For Your name is near"(75:1)

I have never loved, nor will I ever love, in the way I love our Adam and Nichalas and Amber. 

I never knew what it meant to watch part of your heart live outside of your body - until them.
I never knew what it meant to be rich.  to be overwhelmed.  to be full.  until them.

It was and is through them I know how much our ABBA loves each one of us.  The love I have for them is just an inkling of how He feels about us.  About how much He sacrificed - for us.

It is because of them I know the desire to draw near.  To hold their name near and dear to my heart.  To have my heart swell up to bursting in hearing their voice, seeing their face, just being - with them.

For the past 30 years I have given thanks to my ABBA for the honor, the pleasure, the gift of  celebrating "Mom's Day".

How I have given thanks. 

They are the best of me. 

"Not A Fairy Tale" - 05/09/15 - 2 Samuel 8-9; 1 Chronicles 18

^" Shuffling and stammering, not looking him in the eye, Mephibosheth said, “Who am I that you pay attention to a stray dog like me?” (2 Samuel 9:8)

From a stray dog  to a princess.

The True Cinderella story.

Charles Perrault is believed to have written many of the famous fairy tales we hear today, including Cinderella.  “Perrault took the side of modernism and believed that France and Christianity could move forward only if they incorporated pagan beliefs and folklore and developed a culture of enlightenment.” It saddens me, how we as humans have added the spice of evil to hold our interest throughout the generations.  How so many little ones today are able to tell you stories of make believe, yet haven't a clue to who our Abba, our Christ, our Holy Spirit, His Word are.

If only we as Christians, would be in His Word, having it become totally who we are, so when others see His people, they will come to know Him.  They would know they are not a "stray dog" as the world conditions us to believe, we are His Royal Children. 

How I yearn for all to know, they too, can be His Cinderella's.




I love how He has taken the rags of sin off of me and clothed me in His Royal Wardrobe.  Lifted me up from trying to scrub the filth and evil from my soul and making it clean as pure, white snow through His Blood. 




Rescuing me from the world and its lies which delight in tearing me down, shoving my face in the ground, walking  all over me. How He has completely surrounded me with His Family.  His family who lifts me up, holds me accountable in love.  Who cherish, treasures, and delights in me. 

As our Abba does. 

I so love that my life "in" Him is not a fairy tale.  It is real. 

In taking me, transforming me, making me His, I am promised to "live happily ever after" - for eternity.

No longer do I have to live my life, ^" Shuffling and stammering, not looking Him in the eye". 

For I am "His" Cinderella.   

"ABBA makes" - 05/08/15 - Psalm 25, 29, 33, 36, 39

God makes His people strong.
God gives His people peace."(Psalm 29:11)

I have realized more than ever this year my body is really aging.  I have also realized how very much I need Curt and Adam and their physical strength in our business.  I am unable to do all I used to do. 

Frustrating.

ABBA has removed that frustration and replaced it with total thankfulness. 

I grew up on a farm and was the oldest child. Even though I only weighed 115 - I was strong for a girl.  I was raised working hard - lifting heavy stuff - taking care of livestock - running equipment -  I was my dad's "boy".  I believed my "worth" was in my strength and how hard I could work, which unfortunately I still struggle with.  In my "worth" struggle, it has been a sign of weakness to depend so much on Curt.  I sometimes even forget he is a man whom ABBA has designed to be much stronger than I am or ever have been.  He also has greater endurance than I do/did.

ABBA has helped me realize it isn't a sign of weakness to depend on Curt to carry more of the physical weight in the business.  We do work well together and I am able to carry my share of the work.  He said the other day when I asked him, he doesn't feel like he is carrying me.  The scripture about the cord of three can not be broken reminds me of Curt, myself and God.  In all of our areas of life.

The turning day came a few years ago while we were mowing at Aldi's. We have our timing down for each job site when we both start out together on our different tasks, we end up being done at the same time and I was delayed because of a phone call I had to answer.    Due to "my" schedule being interrupted, I was behind as I took off with the little mower while Curt was ahead using the weed eater. 


Behind the store on a rather steep hill are evergreens where we use the little mower to get up underneath of the branches.  As I started to mow around one, Curt came to the top of the hill weed eating.  Suddenly he stopped and motioned for me to come up beside him.  I turned off the mower and went up.  He pointed to the branches of the tree I was about to mow under and there was a swarm of bees.  There were so many of them that the large branch was bent down and almost touching the ground - right at the level the mower would have been, if he hadn't of appeared at the top of the hill to stop me.  The swarm was at least 1' x 4'.


ABBA knew before He created the world about those bees, about my phone call, about Curt being ahead of "my" schedule on the weed eater.  He knew I would/am depending on Curt for strength in more ways than physical.  He knew at that moment, Curt would be saving my life.  Looking back, I doubt if I would have survived being stung by that many bees. 

Curt supports, encourages, looks out for, loves - me.  He is my best friend and how much I love sharing our lives, our sons/daughter, our home and our business with.  I am so thankful I don't have to do it on my own - nor do I want to.  Through my Curt, I have been made stronger.  Through my Curt, we have achieved more than I ever could have on my own.  Not only in the business, but also in the spiritual and emotional aspects of our lives.

I so desire to share the all of life with my Curt.

 ABBA knew, through the thanksgiving I have for my husband, it would be one of the many ways for me to find peace. 

It is through the gift of my Curt, ABBA has shown me I grow stronger in the all of me through depending on Him.  It is in my ABBA I have my worth.  Not my strength.  Not my Curt.  Not anything I am able to do - nor this world.  It is only through Him. 

God makes "me", His people strong.
God gives "me", His people peace."

 

"Home Within me" - 05/07/15 - 2 Samuel 7; 1 Chronicles 17

"Before long, the king made himself at home and God gave him peace from all his enemies."  (2 Samuel 7:1)


Home.

Where have I allowed The King to make Himself at Home?

Is He at Home in my heart?  My life?  In the air I take into my lungs?  In the air that I let out into the atmosphere?  In my thoughts?  Hidden and spoken?  My actions?  Viewed and alone? 

Where is my Home? 

My earthly dwelling is a sanctuary from this world.  It is a blessing that He unfolded His hands and presented to me.  to my Curt.  to us. 

But, it isn't my Home.

My Home. 

My Home is "in" His Word.

It is "in" His Word that I live.  The place I open up the door and walk into each day.  Where I walk across the room and climb up into His lap, as He sits waiting for me.  In His lap where we read together, where He explains, giving me discernment of His Words.  It is the place where I sit and eat at our Table.  A Table where He sits at the head of and I sit - not as His guest - but as His daughter. 

Me. 

The daughter of my King.

His princess.

It is where I sit with my family.  His princes and princess - my brothers and sisters.

It is where we eat and are filled with the meat from His Word.  With the Bread of His body.  We drink from the cup of His Blood.  Around His Table, I share in communion with Him and our family.  Around His Table where we share living life. 

It is where I go and lay to rest.  The room where my spirit is rested from the weariness of walking in this world.  The bed in which I lay, reflecting, worshiping, praising, counting, and asking.  It is my snuggle time with Him. It is where I lay my soul, heart, and mind bare.  It is from my closet that He dresses me in His love, His Truth,  replacing all the lies of the world that I have put on.  Replacing the rotting, dirty, and stained, with His Armor, a Wardrobe from my King. 

His Home.  Where I am fed, clothed, showered in love, cherished, desired.  Where I am safe and at peace from all our enemies.

Where I am told that I must go out the door and leave each day.  Dressed in His Truth, Righteousness,  The Gospel of Peace, shield of Faith, Salvation, and His Word.  To walk amongst the world, making Disciples, so when returning Home that eve - I am bringing home another brother or sister to live with us.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

The same was in the beginning with God.

 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.

 In him was life; and the life was the light of men."

(John 1:1-4)

 

 

 

My Home is In Christ. 

 

"Divine Appointments" - 05/06/15 - Psalm 89, 96, 100, 101, 105, 132

"Keep your eyes open for God, watch for His works; be alert for signs of His presence" (105:4)


I love when my focus is totally on Him.  Wherever I look, whatever I think - it is all about Him. 
How marvelous is life when lived His way.

I love when I take my focus off of "me" and turn it upon Him.  I am able to see persons or things  He has put into my path as my "Divine Appointments" for the day, instead of grumbling "my" schedule has been interrupted. 
I am finding the more I am focused on Him, my senses are on overload and I am more and more aware of Him.  Each season He gives us, seems to be more beautiful than those in the past.  His paintbrush is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. Every where I look, the beautiful spring colors, the scents finding my nose causes my brain to respond in delight.
                                                     
He has shown me through the newness of Spring He brings about such hope, joy, delight.  The freshness of the colors, textures, smells surround us.  Exactly as He does in our hearts through The Holy Spirit. 

Each day I pray to be aware of Him with all that I am.  To hear His Voice and heed His instruction.  I pray to be alert and at the ready for all Divine Appointments He has lined up for me.  I find those Divine Appointments are more often for my growth in Him, needed encouragement, a smile, or an opportunity to share Him. 

"Keep your eyes open for God, watch for His works; be alert for signs of His presence" (105:4)

What Divine Appointments has He lined up for you?

"My Chaser" - 05/05/15 - Psalm 1-2, 15, 22-24, 47, 68

"Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life.  
I'm back home in the house of God

for the rest of my life."(Psalm 23:6)

When I was seventeen, I moved from a town of maybe 100 people to Chicago.  The very naïve farm girl was in the middle of the big city - very big city.  A few years ago when Nichalas and Amber were living there, I was there visiting and we went downtown.  On a whim we walked through the old building I used to work in.  It amazed me after 33 years much of it was the same.  I worked for a freelance logo designer.  It was a very fun job, but the hours weren't 9-5.  "Back then" we would take different pictures in stores for ideas, presentations to the clients were done throughout the regular working hours and at night we would do the layouts, drawing, etc.  There wasn't photo shop back then - everything was pretty much from scratch and by hand.  I really enjoyed the work and the hours didn't bother me. 

At the time, I lived in a suburb and would take the train home.  Many, many times to save money, I would walk across downtown to catch the last train home - usually after midnight.  To save time - I would cut through alleys, side streets, etc.  I was so naïve - it didn't occur to me the dangers I was walking though.  

Today - I kinda miss looking at the world through those innocent eyes.

Many, many times over the years when I think about how many, many, many times I walked through "dangerous places" - it is without a doubt I know His hedge of protection was about me. 

It still is. 
I often say that my guardian angels probably have gray hair or no hair from all the stress I put them through! 

When I think about the darkness of the alley's I cut through, I can see that His light always around  me. In my minds eye, I can actually see His bright light following me through my memories.  I once heard that there is no such thing as darkness, only the void of light.  

His light was always there.

Is always here. 

No matter how dark I feel it is - His light is there - somewhere - I just need to "focus" on it. 

My heart is overwhelmed to see "He always chased after me." 
My heart is so thankful I came to my senses and let Him capture me.

 My heart is so secure in knowing " I'm back home in the house of God for the rest of my life."