There are times when I reflect back on my past, when I was single, my role as a wife and mommy - and I cry. I cry because hind site really is 20/20. So many things I did/have done wrong. So many moments I have caused great pain and sorrow to my ABBA. my Christ. The Holy Spirit. To others.
If I allowed myself, I would become anxious and think I haven't been nor will I ever be - good enough. Such a burden is removed when I see He is so much bigger than my mistakes. When I see and believe, He uses all - all - things for His Glory.
Curt and I brought into our marriage so much garbage from our past. It has taken years to break the cycle and follow God's plan. What a difference in living this has made!
satan loves when I start beating myself up with regrets. When I think about instances, what I did, said, I feel sick inside. he loves when I pack this bag of garbage around and allow it to interfere in my living life with God. There is a reason for ABBA's command in Philippians 4:8-9,
"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies."
All we are to focus on is what He is. We are to focus on Him. We are to focus on His consolations and His promises, written to each of us throughout Scripture. Not the lies of satan. Not the lies of this world. Not the lies we tell ourselves.
I so pray Adam, whomever his future bride is, Nichalas and Amber, all our future generations, to have an uncluttered and focused heart for Him. I so pray, they will each see themselves as our ABBA sees them. "Fearfully and wonderfully made". I so pray, they will obey Him and live by His directions and counsel. This is my prayer for Curt, others and myself as well.
To focus on His truths.
I love how He is cleansing my heart - taking out the garbage so to speak.
I don't know if this is true or not, but it helps illustrate how a cluttered and unfocused heart will eventually consume the all of you. In ancient Rome there was a form of capital punishment which was gruesome and terrifying. The punishment was if you murdered someone, your victim’s corpse was then chained to your back. As the sun beat down on you and as days and weeks passed, rancid odors would nauseate you as the body rotted and decayed. Infection quickly set in as it seeped into your own body and killed you. Thus the one murdered, killed the murderer.
If we allow our mistakes to be our focus, we hinder ourselves for Him. We are allowing the "garbage" to seep in and become a part of us. To slowly kill us. We are robbing ourselves from the fruits of The Holy Spirit. "But the fruit of The Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness"(Gal 5:21-23).
With each passing day, the more I guard my "treasures' from Him.
And these fruits - these fruits are my "treasures".
"And give my son Solomon an uncluttered and focused heart "so that" he can obey what You command, live by Your directions and counsel""(1 Chron 29:19)
Two very important words in all of this are "so that".
"So that" we are living in the freedom - being all He has created us to be.
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