There are times, even though I am speaking in truth events which have occurred, I am doing so in a malicious way.
It is during these moments I am wanting bad things for some. I am wanting to hurt others as they have hurt me.
It is amazing how quickly satan has self pride right there on a serving platter and I dish it right up.
It is amazing how quickly the ricochet process begins.
"Ricochets are a hazard of shooting because the bullet that ricochets poses a danger of causing collateral damage to animals, objects, or even the person who fired the shot.
In rare cases, ricochets can return to the shooter".
My words of malice will and do return, causing my heart to become bitter and angry. My vision becomes so intent on "self" it distorts words I hear. It becomes no longer just one person, it becomes numerous ones, from whom I begin taking many things said personal.
Because I am taking my eyes off of ABBA.
It is then my life becomes obsessed with the "wrongs" done to me. I begin to feel it is my responsibility to have revenge. To defend myself. To expose the hidden.
Self-pride will create the heart into an ugly monster.
Thankfully, my ABBA takes the bull by the horns and holds me accountable. My love for Him brings me to my knees in confession. He gives me strength to ask those I speak against for forgiveness. He gives me strength to forgive them. I have found this only works when I allow Him to break my self-pride. Only then, am I able to have a Christlike reaction regardless of others actions. It is only through ABBA I am able to pray for them and love them.
He has also led me to pray I will become like "water on a duck's back", when I am attacked.
He has shown me, it isn't me they are attacking, but Him.
This process of change He has and is doing within my heart, has brought me so much closer to Him. It has given me a freedom. A freedom I wouldn't exchange for anything.
How amazing is He! He who can transform the ugly heart into His beauty.
So love loving my ABBA.
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