"Different spirit" - ‎03/03/13 - Numbers 14:1-15:41

“But my servant Caleb—this is a different story. He has a different spirit; he follows me passionately. I’ll bring him into the land that he scouted and his children will inherit it."  (14:24)


It wasn't until I drew into an intimate relationship with my Abba, that I found where I fit in.  I was always different from those around me.  He helped me realize it was Him - working on me - even before I knew Him. 

And now, I am so in love with Him. 

I love that He has given me a different spirit and that I am a woman after His own heart.  I love following Him passionately, even at the sound of ridicule, rejection, rebuke, from the voices of those who don't know Him intimately. 

We have just been blessed with worshiping with our children this morning.  Standing in the upper balcony, our heads almost touching the ceiling, hearing the singing voices rise up to Him on their way through the rafters. 

My heart is on fire for my Lord. 

His Hand is holding mine as I can not help but raise it to Him during the songs.  The words wash over my heart as I sing them as prayer, tears spill out of my closed lids and streak down my made up face. 

It matters not. 

It matters not that my mascara has went from my lashes to dark lines running down my face.  It matters not that my voice is not one of harmony.  He has told me, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made", including my voice. 

And now I sing. 

I sing loudly. 

I want Him to know my heart sings for Him. 

There with my Curt, my cup runneth over with joy and peace, standing beside our young son and his wife.  Knowing that their hearts are sold out to Him.  That one day we will not be separated by distance, one day that this family of ours will be together with Him. 

It matters not that I have made mistakes in my role of their mother.  There were moments I am so thankful they don't remember, that they didn't form who they are today.  That my Abba stepped in and covered them, protected them from those errors. 

What does matter is that they saw I have "a different spirit; that I  follow God passionately" and were drawn to becoming that way too.

What does matter more than anything - is that one day their children, and their children's children will see them in the same way. 

I pray His ripple continues on until He comes again.

One with a different spirit; that follows their Abba passionately.