"Wake up, wake up, Deborah! Wake up, wake up, sing a song!" (5:12)
It is starting - I am getting that anxious feeling.
The weather is finally at a point where we can no longer deny that spring is here. For the past 18 years I have always gotten that little fear in the pit of my stomach. Today, I realize that doubt has reared his ugly head and I am focusing on it. I am letting the lies intrude into my head.
Even through the state of our economy God has blessed "His" business with growth. Word of mouth is our only advertisement and already - before the season has begun - we have had calls from current and new clients. For us to do more work.
It stems back to the feelings of not being wanted or worthy. Of not having faith that He will provide. Even if He decides that there is something else in store for our journey. Is there a part of my faith that gets security in the income? Is there a part of me that struggles with having faith that He will provide? Or is it back to those feelings from long ago? Things I am working through.
And on top of that - my winter "to do" list isn't done. I still have two closets and numerous cabinets to go through and organize. The garage and shop are still in total disarray, items that are sacked up to go to Goodwill haven't delivered themselves. Wanted to cut back brush while there wasn't any leaves on it. That great "to do" list. At times it overwhelms me and I can't move.
And who made this list? Me.
Isn't that ridiculous.
To put that much stress and anxiety on myself. The only job that I need to be concerned about is to go as I live and make disciples. All the other "stuff", yes, I am to be a good steward of. But, not to the extent that it controls or I get my worth from having it done.
"Deborah got ready and went"
Getting ready for what? Going where?
The most important questions I need to ask myself every day. Peter tells us to be prepared if asked why we believe what we believe.
I need to be ready for the Divine Appointments that He has set up for me each day. I need to be so focused on Him - not the earthly things - that I follow His lead. He is using His business as a tool for His Work.
It is when I focus on Him, trust and have faith In Him, knowing that He is in control of all - the anxiety and fear diminishes to nothing. It doesn't matter if the "to do" list is completed, if I am a good steward 100% of the time. It matters knowing that even if I am putting my best effort forward, still I will fail, but His grace and mercy has me covered!
"Wake up, wake up, Deborah! Wake up, wake up, sing a song!"
Wake up and live in the joy that He is my "I AM". He has every single thing covered. Including who our clients are - or are not. We have chosen to work for Him. Sing a song of praise! What a burden has been lifted when I have faith and trust completely that He is The Boss - in all of my life.
All.
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