He sat across the room. He had just said a prayer. The first words out of his mouth, a declaration "No one in this room, studies their Bible more than he and his wife".
I confess, my first thoughts were defensive. "Really? And you know this, how? You don't live with us nor do you have a relationship with us." I was actually ready to battle!
From there I began to think about their fruits, and my thoughts became sarcastic and judgmental, "You may be studying it, but you're not living it. Wow! I guess you missed the parts about forgiveness, grace and mercy. What "Bible" have you been studying."
And then I felt it. That tap on the shoulder. That tap, although gentle, is quite persistent. That tap, that you just know who it is, before you turn your attention to the "tapper". That tap, that you also know will be followed by a voice.
His voice.
I was right - the "tapper" was my ABBA.
He was speaking to me.
Not about their "fruits"
...............but mine.
"These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sow discord among brethren." (Proverbs 6:17)
Does it ever amaze you how incredible He created the human brain? Or His relationship with us?
Having a conversation with ABBA, while sitting amongst persons in confrontation.
He was humbling me with His Word. I am so thankful for the passion He has given me to dig into His Word every day. To carry it in my heart, chew on it as I go, and so very thankful for how alive it is. For how it draws me closer to my Savior.
Drawing me closer to my Savior has caused me to desire to be more like Him. To be a vessel for Him. To set "me" aside, completely, so He will draw others to Him. To be a living example of His Word.
ABBA was reminding me, "I" was getting in His way.
Looking at me, He was seeing a proud look,.... "Or, "eyes elated" (d); scorning to look down upon others; or looking upon them with disdain; or reckoning them as unworthy to be looked upon, having an high opinion of their own worth and merit. Pride is the first of the hateful things mentioned; it being the first sin committed, as is probable, the sin of the angels, and of the first man; and is a predominant evil in .human nature, and is directly opposite to God and to his nature, and against which he sets himself; for "he resisteth the proud", James 4:6; the pride of the heart shows itself in the eyes, or by the looks of a man; Gersom says, the phrase denotes impudence and haughtiness; "
Not a pretty picture. Not even close to what Christ is.
Yep. Me.
The one who is in her Bible.
Every. single. day.
The one who blogs about the verses He spoke to her.
Every. single. day.
The one with the board in her eye.
I was "missing the forest for the trees".
ABBA knew before time began, the persons who would be involved. He knew the words which would be spoken. He knew the confrontation. And He knew I needed to be reminded. I needed to forgive as He has forgiven me.
The Bible I study every day - isn't about me. Those scriptures it contains, they are about my Savior, my Christ. He is my forest I walk through!
He used this time to lead to the separation from myself and pride. I have come away from this, finally able to totally forgive. Only through His Word, The Holy Spirit, my Savior, and ABBA.
I now receive and live the life He wants me to have walking with/in Him.
Without His Love "in" my heart, true forgiveness is impossible. Although I am never able to fully forget, I know forgiveness has happened when I am able to love all as He loves, to look at the all others through Christ's eyes.
When I am able to pray for them as Christ did, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing".
I continue to pray when they see me looking at them, they do not see my "haughty eyes", but Christ's eyes.
2 comments:
you are beautiful, I see Christ shining in and through you.
thank you Amber - as I also see you.
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