When the boys were little, we played a game we made up called "Get Lost". We would pack up some snacks, a little bit of money, and a roll of toilet paper, load up into the car and take off. At each intersection we came to, one of them would choose which way to turn. That simple game has given us many memories of adventures, discoveries, and places explored that were off the beaten path.
On one occasion we came upon a bridge and got out to explore the creek running underneath. This place became the spot where Nichalas was baptized at 2:29, 02/29/04.
Yesterday, it was just the two of us in the car spending time together. He knows me so well it was impossible to plan a surprise for him. He knew exactly where we were headed when I picked him up. It had been 10 years since we had last been to this spot and didn't know if we would be able to locate it again. Driving on the back roads, our memory was being refreshed by familiar sites, bringing back things we had said or done on that day of adventure when it wasn't just the two of us in the car. The bitter wind tore through us as we stood on the bridge, posing in front of the camera.
We found it.
Last night after supper the five of us began another "adventure" in learning a new game. It became another time of not only confusion, but laughter, ribbing each other and just being together.
ABBA was giving me a "window for the ark".
I am trying not to think about tomorrows. I am trying to take in and make the most of each moment we have in all being together. I am rejoicing in all the sharing we have had over these past few days. I am continually fighting back tears, knowing tomorrow is when two parts of my heart will be making their way back to Phoenix, not for sure when the next time we will see each other. I treasure the pictures in my mind of times when looking out "my window" and watching the faces of my loves interacting. I can't help but smile in seeing how Adam and Nichalas are with one another. So unlike Cain and Abel are these two. These two who are "their brothers keeper".
I was thinking today about the verse ABBA gave me yesterday, "in the beginning". It is so bittersweet in the next new breath. The part of not wanting to let go, yet knowing there is another new adventure in the next breath taken in. Adventures taken in and kept within my heart, as I look out the window, while living life.
So many memories. My window. Living in this world on an ark, while on my journey Home.
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