"Living Recklessly" - 10/31/15 - Mark 11, John 12

"In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is, destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal."(John 12:25)

Forgiveness God's way - when thought about from a human perspective doesn't make sense.  We think that revenge, defensiveness, rightful anger, cutting a person off, are the way to retaliate to someone who has hurt us. 

I have finally recognized my unChrislike reaction towards persons who offend me is actually because buttons were/are being pressed which most often has nothing to do with the moment. ABBA has opened my eyes in seeing this type of reaction to the "pushing of these buttons" is because I haven't completely forgiven something which has already occurred.  

Amazing how much power "something" can be given if we choose to hold onto it. 

In the past few years, through different occurrences, God continually teaches me.  He is having me face issues I had not yet forgiven.  He threw back the rug I had been sweeping the pain, anger, bitterness under.  Thinking they were hidden by my smile, my clinging to the Word - but they weren't. 

God has a way of allowing us to walk around or over the bump in the rug - for awhile.  Then He has us deal with it - His time, His way. 

Most times His ways don't make much sense - they are usually opposite of everything the world claims is the "right way" or the best way to protect ourselves.  His ways seem to leave us even more vulnerable, more exposed. 

But - when you follow His ways - there is such a true freedom in Him. 

He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity.
We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people.
We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

 Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way.

Among those who belong to Christ,
everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities

is killed off for good—crucified."(Galatians 5:22-23)

I recognized the way I was trying to hold onto "my" ways were killing my life for what it could be when living His way. I was literally choking the life out of life - much like holding water in the palm of my hand.  It still seeps away until nothing is left.  Holding onto "not forgiving" was hardening my heart, creating bitterness, anger, self-righteousness and self pride.

Creating a wall between Him and myself.

My prayer for years has been for Him to remove all evil from my heart - and He has/is. 
How exciting through Him I am able to forgive. 

Yes, there are times when my instant gut reaction is thinking "my way" works.  And when I stop and choose to walk as He instructs,  it still blows my mind seeing the results of His way.

"But if you let it go, reckless in your love,"
To truly live life.  To be intimate with Him. 

It is amazing how living His way really is true love - a love that keeps growing and consuming my heart.  Knowing with everything I am it is His True and Holy Love which   "I’ll have it forever, real and eternal"

I decided to let go - living reckless in my love,

"Coulda Missed" 10/30/15 - Luke 18:15-19:48

"All this because you didn't recognize and welcome God's personal visit."(19:44)


My knees grow weak  whenever I think about how closely I came to missing ABBA.  How deeply embedded in the world I once was.  How many days, years, went by and the thought of Him never even entered my mind.   How much of my past was spent in not recognizing Him, let alone welcoming His personal visits in His effort to rescue me.  My heart speeds up with a jolt of fear knowing how close I came to missing out on Him all together.  The many times I entered into physical situations and living through them shouldn't have happened.  The many "could have happened", "should have happened", endings He prevented. 


His personal visits - hindsight really is 20/20.


There has never been such a constant in my life as His.  Even the evil one had his way of enticing me in, but would depart when he felt I was in his grasp, leaving behind loneliness, despair, emptiness.


It took ABBA working through the miracle of growing Adam within my womb to finally recognize Him.  How fitting when I look back, His using a new born babe to open not only my eyes, but heart as well, in recognizing Him.  It has taken some serious work on ABBA's part and letting go on mine, to be at the point where I am continually "welcoming His personal visits".  No longer do I cower in shame, dread the cleansings, am untrusting of the good times.  No longer do I find myself going through much time at all when I am not thinking of Him.  He has a way of drawing worship from me through most all of my life.  He has a way of drawing me into Him even closer most breaths I take. 


He is whom I eagerly await. 


My heart, it is bursting with Love from and for Him. 

Eagerly awaiting, one day, our eternal "face to face" visit. 

 

 

"His Choice" - 10/29/15 - Matthew 20-21

"That is what The Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not be served - and then to give away His life in exchange for the many who are held hostage."(20:28)

 No greater love.

 Can you imagine to love so deeply you are willing to give your life up to save another?  To love so deep you would sacrifice yourself from being with ABBA in order that they may be His.

 I once heard an account of a mother in a concentration camp who was forced to choose between her two children, a boy and his younger sister, which one would live.  She selected her little girl to go into the gas chambers, feeling her son had a better chance to survive.  Feeling her little girl would be subjected to far worse treatment than he.  She felt her decision was the lesser of two evils.

Deep within my heart I know I could never make the choice between Adam or Nichalas.  We all three. most likely, would have been killed.  Thankfully, I have never been placed in that spot, but many parents have been throughout the ages of time.  I do know, without hesitation or doubt, if the choice was myself or them to die, it would be me.  There is a love for my Curt, our sons,  Amber,  Ashley, Charlie, Ella and so many others, which is so strong.  I would willingly lay down my life if it meant saving theirs.  Including their souls. 

 But I do know, there would be hesitation if the choice was myself or someone I don't know, who treats me in contempt, who lives only for evil..  How this choice breaks my ABBA's heart.  Slowly, but surely -  He is transforming my heart to love as He loves.  To love "all" deeply.

To see the lost as well, lost.  There is nothing that can be done to me - even physical death - to tear me from my ABBA's arms.  Nothing. 

Can you even imagine being able to love this way.  To be so full of Him, we are able to love as He loves?  Can you imagine what this world would be like?  To love our "neighbor" more than ourselves?

Our ABBA - He did this for each one of us.
Our Savior - He did this for each one of us. 
Even those who made the choice not to love Him in return.
This is the example of Love I strive for.

"Holding On Tightly" - 10/28/15 - Matthew 19, Mark 10

"and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go."(Mark 10:22)

 

This first day of being 56 found me sitting in the darkness with only the light from my laptop, its feeble attempt to chase out the shadows surrounding me in the living room.  It was 3:30, unable to sleep, I came to read from ABBA's Love Letter to me. 

I love the freedom I have in being able to read His Word pretty much anywhere, anytime, anyway.  Pulling it up on Biblegate.com enables me to easily copy/paste - when my laptop is cooperating.  Lately, it has been having fits and in the early morning hours it didn't let up, only continued to throw up blocks until I gave up and hit the restart key.  Perhaps  it was a little resentful for being awakened and put to work at that hour and needed another wakeup call.

As it was earlier, the wind is continuing to make its way down through our little valley.  The trees dancing in the moonlight in worship to our ABBA.  The ringing of many wind chimes hanging about in a song of pure joy up to Him.  All of nature stands in admiration to Him.  All of nature causes my heart to smile.

After a wonderful and blessed day of celebrating my birth day, it wasn't due to worries or any other negative thoughts I was unable to sleep.  There are moments when He wakes me up to be with Him and this was one of them.   How much I love when He speaks and I am listening.  How much I love when my heart is not heavy with the things of this world, but in the freedom from "things" it is soaring as the winds, amongst the highest of high.  With Him.

My heart hasn't been "heavy" for very long or very often, during the past few years.  His Word has taught me how essential it is to "let go" the things of this world, the things which are not of Him.  In following His Commands, I have been given the gift of freedom through forgiveness, in loving even the unlovely, in setting up boundaries.  He has shown me the "things" I was holding onto tightly were actually holding onto me even tighter. 

I was thinking about the wind as I sat in the darkness listening to its gentle howl, whistling around the obstacles standing in its path. We are able to see it in action, to harness it for its energy, to feel it upon our faces, but we can not hold it in our hands.  Just like water - we can try and cup it into our hands, but it will seep out through the cracks in our attempt to capture it. 

Just like we do with anything else.  The tighter we try to hold it - or them - all will eventually be squeezed out.  Or it will overtake us.  I thought about how I used to get my worth from our sons.  How they were a reflection of how I was doing. What a burden this placed upon them.   I thought about how I used to get my worth from the things of this world.  How they were a reflection of who I was.  How fleeting and exhausting it was.  I thought about how I used to get my worth from what I did, didn't do, how I preformed.  How I was craving approval from all but our ABBA.  

It wasn't until I put my faith and trust into Him, that I was able to "let go".

And in a way only our ABBA can do, only He is able to endure the "holding on tightly" from us.  Only He is able to provide more of Him, to fill us up completely.  Only He is able to fill our every need, desire, void. 

Only He is what we are to hold on to tightly and not about to let go.

 

"Everlasting Present" - 10/27/15 - Luke 17:11-18:14

"Because God's Kingdom is already among you."(17:21)

 

Looking out the dining room window the other day, seeing the bright yellow leaves scattered about on the lawn, sparkling in the sunshine, I instantly thought, "ABBA has spilt gold this day". 

 

My heart smiled. 

 

I am torn in the season of fall.  I am in love with the box of colors He splashes about wherever my eyes fall, yet I am not in love knowing another year is coming to an end.  A symbol of time passing by too fast, too soon.  I am in love with the crispness of the air, yet I am not in love knowing days ahead will be mostly spent inside due to the elements.  I am in love with the scene of harvest being played out upon the fields.  Combines leaving the bean fields swept like a newly vacuumed carpet.  Pieces of corn laying between the cut down stalks and turned over to the mouths of cattle, looking warm and fluffy as their new winter coats are coming in.  Preparing them for the cold winds which will soon be blowing in.  

 

Last night I glance at the clock as the sun slipped below the horizon and was amazed it was only 5:30pm.  And in the closing darkness He gave us a show of vibrant reds, oranges, yellows, cream, and purples, as He put this part of the world to sleep.   

 

Throughout yesterday I thought about it being the last day I would say, "I am 55".  It caused me to think back over the years, amazed at the amount of years, and see the many times "His gold has spilt upon my days".

So many times throughout the years He has filled me with "His Kingdom Come".

"His Kingdom Come". My sibling. "you". 

Your voices, laughter, smiles - the all of "you" - have left your echo in each nook and cranny of my  heart.

How much I love when He uses me to interact with His children.  How much I love to be His child through the Gift of my Savior.  To be celebrating Him in the safety and comfort of each other.

I look back and see how often He showers me with His love through each of you.  Even times when I haven't makeup on, my clothes are super comfy lounge about or dirty from a day of work, my hair on top of my head, probably containing bits of leaves still there from the quick shake out before showering, I love feeling completely comfortable and accepted with each of "you".  There are times standing and watching the goings on, my heart seems as though it will burst from the amount of love we have for one another  radiating throughout the living of life together. 

How He so blesses my all.
Not only in face to face time, but through the gift of the internet, phones, Skype, and old fashioned "snail mail".  Living life to the fullest - it isn't about how we spend our time, it is whom we are spending it with.

 

My heart smiles for I know He has blessed me with the birthday present which continually keeps on giving. 
Being part of  "ABBA's Kingdom Come".  "you".

 

 

 

"His Control" - 10/26/15 - Luke 16:1-17:10

"His Control" - 10/26/15 - Luke 16:1-17:10

"Ah, I've got a plan. Here's what I'll do . . ."(16:4)

There are times I try to take the bull by the horn and run the show.  To live life on my plan or my schedule.

And each and every time I find - it just doesn't happen.

 

ABBA has shown me, (so many times it is quite embarrassing) He is in control.

Everything is His way - His time. 

There aren't any exceptions. 

None.

It used to be I had our work schedule down to minutes.  And something would always happen to throw things off, resulting in my being anxious about finishing things up when I deemed they should be done.  I wasn't taking time to visit with our clients, it was all about getting on and off the property to keep "my" schedule.

Then "my Curt" came to work with me. 

 

"My Curt" is the PR of our company.  Although he is a very hard worker, one of the greatest blessings he gives is in having a cup of coffee in one hand while standing and visiting with a client.  I am thankful this is his gift, for it isn't mine.  I don't like coffee. 

ABBA has opened my eyes to see in actual reality it is my pride. 

What I wasn't liking was "my" schedule was being rearranged.

ABBA was putting persons in my path for Him to use me and I wasn't responding to His lead.  He was putting all sorts of obstacles in my way, from flat tires to equipment problems.  He was actually hitting me over the head. 

He has used "my Curt" to help me see the work will get done when it gets done. 

 

ABBA has opened my eyes to see my life here isn't about the business He has given us, it is about using "His" business for His purpose - to reach out to people.  "His" business is putting us at a persons home, on a regular basis, some of them for over 18 years.  "His" business is drawing us into the lives of others so they have become much more than a client, but a friend.  Someone whom we share life with. 

So, I am again reminded, while thinking about all the work He has lined up for us to do and we are heading into the 11th month of the year, this is about His plans.  Not mine.  One way He uses me is to pray for these persons while working on their property.  Since doing this, He has given me the blessings of seeing His work in action as they have come to or become closer to Christ.  It is such an honor to pray for these persons. 

As in all of life - His time.  His way.
Anxiety gone.  Faith growing.

Hearing Him say, ""Ah, I've got a plan. Here's what I'll do . . ."

 

"His Misfit" - 10/25/15 - Luke 14-15

"Invite some people who never get invited out, the misfits from the wrong side of the tracks.  You'll be - and experience - a blessing. They won't be able to return the favor, but the favor will be returned - oh, how it will be returned! - at the resurrection of God's people." (14:13-14)

There are times I haven't a clue as to why ABBA is using me to reach out to certain  persons.  I just know I am heeding His commands and trying to follow in His steps.  The other thing I know is I know what it feels like to be a "misfit".  There wasn't just one who took the time to follow ABBA's lead, giving me welcome throughout my life, it has and is many.  Her name is Margaret.  Her name is Diane.  His name is Dick.  His name is Thomas.  Their names are "His Servants".  He uses each of us in His family to welcome in the "misfits".  Each and every one of us are commanded to be a part of His welcoming committee. 

Is your name on the list of others, who are "misfits" in this world, when they are recalling those who have made them feel welcome?

Throughout the years there have been many moments in which the feeling like a "misfit" has come over me and I allow those feelings to hinder "me" working for Him.  I then open my eyes and look about.  Focusing instead upon the innumerable blessings of other "misfits" He has placed into my heart and life. 

They are "you".  His Beloved.  My Family.

I pray each of His will know how welcome "you" have made me feel.  That although I shall always be a "misfit" in this world, I belong to His Family.  Thank you.

"Completely" - 10/24/15 - Luke 12-13

"There is far more to your inner life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body."(12:23)


Whenever Curt is working in the shop, he will have the radio playing a secular station covering the oldies.  I hardly ever listen to the radio, for like live TV,  it seems there is a lot more time of commercials than what I am wanting to actually watch or listen to.  I mostly listen to Pandora, Sirius, or cd's of Christian artists, but also do enjoy the pop music. It's the commercials I try to tune out.

As we worked, throughout the day there was an advertisement that kept repeating for an upcoming fitness event.  Even though I can't remember word for word, the phrases that caught my attention and stuck were:  "do you want to make yourself more awesome."  "make yourself look awesome."  "be awesome."  And then the words which have struck a cord provoking not only sadness, but to actually cringe -  "save your own soul".

After hearing these words tumbling out, I started noticing other advertisements were about "buying something",  "nothing down-special financing", "driving something", "wearing something", everything to "make your friends and neighbors jealous". 

What emptiness the world is consuming hand over fist. 

What a shallow and wasteful way to live this short period of life on this earth. 

 

It isn't that I don't enjoy nice things. 

I am thankful to be driving a vehicle which is not only nice, but reliable.  My closet isn't overflowing, but I am blessed in being able to cover my body according to the seasons.  ABBA has blessed us with a home, although not the mansion on the hilltop, it is more than we ever dreamed we would be living in.   

 

All He has blessed us with doesn't make me who I am. 

It is only because of Christ I am my ABBA's.

 It isn't the stuff which has made me "so much more".  

I haven't found anywhere in His Word where He is telling us not to enjoy the blessings. 

He does tell us not to allow them to surpass His place in our lives - to not allow anything or anyone but Him to be our God.   I just keep coming back to the words I heard coming out of the radio and am so thankful His Truth filters it out.  Could you imagine a life where the main goal is to cause someone to be jealous of you or what you have?  How much of a burden it would be, not only emotionally, also financially. 

LIVING.  LIFE. 

IT ISN'T ABOUT THE STUFF.

Stuff isn't what makes you.  it breaks you.  Stuff won't last for eternity.  All stuff will quickly or slowly become useless.  It is Whom we live for - not what.  It is Whom we fill our heart, mind, life with. 

Stuff won't save your soul.  "You" won't save your soul. 

Jesus tells us very clearly, "Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me."(John 14:6)

"I Know His Voice" - 10/23/15 - Luke 10-11, John 10:22-42

   

 

"My sheep recognize My Voice. I know them, and they follow Me.  I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of My Hand.   The Father who put them under My Care is so much greater than the destroyer and thief. No one could ever get them away from Him.  I and The Father are one heart and mind." (John 10:27-30)


Sometimes, it is just a faint whisper beneath the noise of this world. 

Just barely heard amongst the words of others and myself going about in my head. 

 

And then, there are the moments without any doubt, whatsoever, within my whole being. because His Voice is loud and clear. 

 

There are within my time of spending with Him each morning, of only my eyes "hearing" Him through His Word.  My heart will actually leap at the verses, words, He has spoken for me to glean from. 

It has taken time spent with Him to be in a place where I no longer doubt it is my ABBA speaking.  It has taken millions of minutes spent in His Love Letter, His Word, to hear what He has written.  His Words all still stand True and Strong.  He always speaks in the same Truth and manner.  It has taken Him to come into my heart, after I invited Him in, and thoroughly transform it to where I am today.  To know He is continually cleaning my heart and mind with the power of His Voice.  His Word.

I didn't "rest" on His promises until I started to take into myself His Words. 

To heed what He was saying. 

To have faith and trust The Words spoken applied to me. 

Today, I have absolutely no desire to go back to the place where I do not "know His voice".  Where I do not hear it loud and clear, nor take heed to His instructions.  To be in a place where I am not conversing out loud or inside my head to "my Daddy".  To a place where I am not in continual prayer with Him.

To the place where I was living and  I was not His.

"My sheep recognize My Voice. I know them, and they follow Me.  I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of My Hand.   The Father who put them under My Care is so much greater than the destroyer and thief. No one could ever get them away from Him.  I and The Father are one heart and mind."

"Eyes Wide Open" - 10/22/15 - John 9:1-10:21

"Walking down the street, Jesus saw"(9:1)


It's hard to know how many steps I have taken during my life.  It's even harder to know, or accept, how many times I walked without seeing.  without looking.  without knowing.  How many steps I walked and missed out on.  Just kept walking right on by.

I'm talking about God moments. 

Those times in your life when He places events, trials, tribulations, joys, sorrows, things, and people.  Particularly people.

How many times have I walked and it wasn't until looking back and reflecting that I was able to see Him at work.  How many times when I receive a note, a message, words from someone, telling me what an impact I have had on their lives for Him.  How often I sit back in amazement because I didn't have a clue He was using me then. 

I didn't have a clue because I was walking and not seeing anything except "me".
My focus was all about "me".  I was so wrapped up in "self" and yet He still used me. 

Isn't He just totally Amazing!

His Words, "Walking down the street, Jesus saw", hit me right smack in the face.  Sometimes He uses any method to get my full attention.

He "saw" not only the blind man.  He "saw" you.  and He "saw" me. 

Here is our Savior. 

Our Savior who knew He was on the uphill climb towards The Cross standing  ahead of Him, and yet He was taking time away from Himself and "saw". 

He never in His walk acted as the martyr and He had ever right to. 

He did after all die for all of our sins. 

He was/is the ultimate sacrifice. 

He never in His walk asked others to feel sorry for Him. 

He shot straight from the hip, he laid the facts out and it was their choice to accept them. 

 

Just as it is our free will to accept Him too. 

So, with this day before me, I wonder. 

We three will be mowing and I am wondering what He will place before us in our walk. 

I am wondering if I will look back on my day and see all He wanted me to see. 

How will I be as His Warrior in all the things I will say, do, think. 

Each day I am praying I will hear His Voice say, "My Beloved, you saw". 

 

 

"His Spotlight" - 10/21/15 - John 7-8

"Jesus said, "If I turned the spotlight on Myself, it wouldn't amount to anything. But My Father, the same One you say is your Father, put Me here at this time and place of splendor."(8:54)


Just as He did for our Savior, He has put each one of us here - in this place.  at this time. 

Do you ever marvel at that?  Do you ever recognize that nothing - not one incident - is by "chance"?

He gave each of us the freedom of choice.  Do you ever stop and realize He gave us the gift of our Savior when free choice brought sin into this world?  Do you ever stop and try to grasp, before the world was - He has each of your days, your moments?

Do you ever think about whom you are living for?  Is it for your "self" or for Him? 

Are you taking this treasure of life and living it for and in Him?  Are you sharing The Treasure of Him with all you meet?  Are you allowing Him to shine through "you"?  Are your "fruits" of Him?

Please, take each moment He gives you and really look at the wonder of it all.  Each person you encounter - He planned for their path to cross yours.  Each cloud, color of His nature, animal, rock, blade of grass - every single thing you encounter with your senses - He planned. 

It never ceases to cause my heart to leap when I read the Word He gives me for this time in my life.  It never ceases to give me comfort when His Word - through Scripture or song - come running from my heart to my mind.  It never ceases to amaze me in the wonderment of this life, I am only getting a glimpse of how very much He loves me.  Loves you.

He has placed you "here at this time and place of splendor." I pray you are living with the spotlight on and for  Him. 

 

 

"The Colors Of His Prayer Warriors" - 10/20/14 - Matthew 18

"When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action.   And when two or three of you are together because of Me, you can be sure that I'll be there."(18:19-20)

 

Standing in the drive earlier this morning, the leaves were raining down from above me.  The morning sunbeams catching the different colors, taking my breath away, coming to rest, surrounding my feet in the vibrant shades of the fall rainbow.  Reminding me of the many moments my life has been touched with the prayers from The Prayer Warriors in my life.

It was almost a year ago today I went in to have a MRI.  I can remember easily drinking down the two glasses of mixture the nurse gave me.  It was clear, pretty much tasteless and cold.  Not long after, I began to feel it working its way throughout my body.  The coldness coming from deep within me and eventually overtaking my whole body.  Sitting there for an hour, waiting.  His Words coming from within my heart and going through my mind.   Semi watching a program playing on the TV with total sorrowfulness.  Distaste.  I don't usually watch the talk or commentary shows.  Again, I was reminded as to why not.

How easily we drink up the words of others.  Those persons hosting the talk shows have been put into such a position where they are now influencing millions.  Most of them came from nothing and now have a material wealth which surpasses any dreams they ever had.  And so many people lap up their words, usually based on the status the dollars have put these persons at. 

How far away from His Word are their words.  I actually shuddered at times while listening, knowing it was from the evil and not from the coldness of the drink within me.  I am so thankful His Word surpasses any I was hearing.  He has and is transforming me to know, without a doubt, His are solid, never changing Truth.

The nurse came and got me. We made our way to the machine programed to take pictures of my insides.  I lay there and marveled at the way ABBA has created us to invent such equipment, procedures.  As the dye began to make its way through, I wondered about who it was that came up with this and then to the one who volunteered to see if it would work.  So much action going on, completely unseen with my eyes, amongst the sounds that broke the silence in the room. 

It was then I was really hit with the Power of ABBA. 

His peace, joy, all the Fruits of The Spirit, came flowing from within and completely overtook me.  Much like the drugs and dye administered to me.  So many were lifting me up to Him with their words.  He never isn't here.  He is never not "taking action". 

Driving home that day I had the heated seats on, 90 degree heat blasting out upon me, slowly driving out the coldness within.  Exactly as He drives out the coldness of fear.  of doubt.  of sin. 

I was reminded over and over as I took in His amazing and awesome paint colors throughout the drive home, just one way He shows off His Glory to us.  I know He smiles when hearing me say each fall,  "This one has to be the most beautiful fall I have ever experienced" - until the next one. 

Not only that day, but every single day His Prayer Warriors, as numerous and colorful as the leaves on the trees, surround me, lifting me up with their heartfelt words.  This is where He is showing off  His greatest Glory - through them.  Through each of us,  as we are Prayer Warriors for others.  The Creator of all, He desires most is to just be with us.  Desires most of all, to share all of us with Him.  To be our Bestest Friend. 

To exchange words with Him.  For us to lap up His Words and not the world's.

His Word continually tells me -
No matter where my steps take me in this life, I know He has me and He has it all.. 

 

 

"Taking Off The Mask" - 10/19/15 - Matthew 17, Mark 9, Luke 9:28-62

"But Jesus came over and touched them. "Don't be afraid."  When they opened their eyes and looked around, all they saw was Jesus, only Jesus."(Matthew 17:7-8)

There are nights when  laying in bed, tossing and turning, I begin to pray.   Counting my innumerable blessings - my Curt, Adam being here in Quincy, our Nichalas and Amber, and now our Ashley and hers.  I think about the relationships I share life with.  Sitting around the dinner table last night with Ashley's family.  The sounds of life ringing out through our home, knowing we are into another season of life.  One filled with the gift of little ones. This past weekend seeing many old and new friends, playing catch up and reminded over and over how very loved I am.   Missing our Nichalas and Amber, counting down the days to when they are back for a visit.  Counting the blessing of conversations with Nichalas most always ending up discussing our ABBA and His Word.  Praying with Nichalas over the phone, a way we have ended our conversations since he moved to his first apartment so helps in closing in the miles laying between us.

 

I find it is in my restlessness I have taken my focus off of Him, allowing doubt and fear to creep in.  Robbing me not only of sleep, but of the life He has planned for me. His whispering catches my ear, beseeching  me to come to Him.

He always gives me His Word at the exact time my heart is in need of them.  I have only to listen for His Voice.

"Don't be afraid."

He was touching me to my inner self, the place where I try to hide emotions, thoughts, parts of me, I don't want to deal with.  Things that complicate living this life.  I have found there are some things easier to deal with packed away in this hidden place of my heart.

No matter how far away I think these things are, He knows.  He knows my heart better than I do.  

In the sermon yesterday I listened to words regarding the wearing of masks in different situations.  I thought about those I wear a mask around and am in constant turmoil because I am not being as He designed me to be.  It is often the mask of defensiveness, guarded, cold, and walled.  I know this is opposite of how He created me because when not wearing this mask, I feel the freedom and peace within the all of me.  He is growing me to have faith in His defense and protection instead of the false security of "the mask". 

 

In a study I am doing, there was the question, "what is your deepest fear?".  I came away discovering it is, "what if the lies I have been surrounded by are really The Truth".  What if I am wrong in how I am walking.  He knows my deepest, darkest fears.  In Scripture, so many accounts of our Savior tell of His reaching down and "touching" in situations where touch wasn't what one would normally do.  He came down inside of my heart, in the midst of the "what if" fear and touched me. He held me and reassured me, "Don't be afraid."  So many places and times in my life He has spoken these words to me. I have only to listen and hear His Truth.

He has opened my eyes to His Word, to those who He has shared their life in The Scriptures, to those who are alive today, whom I know are walking "in" Him by their fruits,  and see also my fruits are a reflection of Him.  satan wants nothing more than for me to step off of the foundation of Him and step into the quicksand of fear and doubt.   

My ABBA has taken the all of me and put my focus back upon Him.  I know He will be with me tomorrow and always, just as He is now.  He is in complete control and I am able to stand on His promises - no matter what I will be walking through on my way Home to Him. 

How He speaks to me through His Words. 

With His touch, I have opened my "eyes and looked around, all I see is Jesus, only Jesus."

"Bare Naked Soul" - 10/18/15 - Matthew 16, Mark 8, Luke 9:18-27

"Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is The Way, My way, to finding yourself, your true self.       What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?"(Matthew 16:25-26)

 

Standing under lights.  Before the mirror. Totally naked.  

Nothing is hidden from us in our reflection. 

Just as we are when standing before our ABBA. 

Millions of self-help books in the world and yet it is still His Word that is total Truth. 

Totally accurate in leading us to who and what He designed us to be. 

Take a moment and really look at yourself in God's mirror. 

Who or what is your God?  Have you traded your soul for the world?  Whose are you?  Who are you?  What is the sole purpose of your life?  What word is your name linked with?  What legacy are you leaving?  When thought of, is it self or ABBA that stands out?

Most of all - where are you going?  And who are you taking with you?

"His Fruits" - 10/17/15 - Matthew 15, Mark 7

Jesus replied, “You, too? Are you being willfully stupid? Don’t you know that anything that is swallowed works its way through the intestines and is finally defecated? But what comes out of the mouth gets its start in the heart. It’s from the heart that we vomit up evil arguments, murders, adulteries, fornication's, thefts, lies, and cussing. That’s what pollutes. Eating or not eating certain foods, washing or not washing your hands—that’s neither here nor there.”(Matthew 15:16-20)

Fruit of self. 

What we really are inside comes out - your fruits can not hide forever. 

God sees all, knows all.  You could go to the grave fooling mankind, but not God.  Some people who are "so good" all their lives, change when older and I sometimes wonder if they are too old to keep up the false cover or they no longer care to hide what they really are. 

Taking the high road - His road - has helped me in the process of letting go, forgiving and moving on.  How thankful I am He has placed within my heart The Fruits of The Spirit and has replaced the rotten fruit inside of me. 

 

My heart hurts when I am as the Pharisees. 
My heart is overwhelmed by His forgiveness, His grace, His mercy, His Blood, all  which have cleansed me of those rotten fruits.  Only because of Him am I able to confess, repent, and continue striving to be more like Him.  

  

Vomiting up that which is not of Him - purging me - making me clean. 

 

Not a very pretty picture.  But if I want my fruit to be of  Him, it is a necessity when walking "in" Him. Much like cutting out cancer to save a life. 

My Fruits are of Him - whom I am deeply, madly, head-over-heels in love with.
I am His.  He is mine.  Forever. 

 

 

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
 And see if there be any evil way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way."(Psalm 139:23-24)

 

"Filled" - 10/16/15 - John 6

"Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life. The person who aligns with Me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever.(6:35)


This morning before reading, I asked ABBA that I would hear the Words He was speaking through to me.  I don't want to miss out.  I then went on to pray for His continued help during another day in the battle of losing weight.  And throughout the verses today, He is talking about thirst and hunger.

He is something else that ABBA of ours.  Knowing beforehand - always knowing - exactly what we need and desire.  Always wanting only the best for us.

All of my life I have struggled with emotional eating.  It wasn't until I had Adam my metabolism couldn't keep up with the amount of food I consume.  Looking back and knowing I was able to out eat most men and still be super skinny, is probably why I never recognized I had an eating problem. 

And I do.    

I do very much enjoy food.  I enjoy watching cooking shows, talking/trying recipes cooking/feeding others.  I l very much enjoy the different taste, textures, the way different things explode in your mouth and take over - like chocolate.  But ABBA has also opened my eyes to the fact I was stuffing in large amounts of food, trying to fill a void.  A huge void. 

 

I am finding more and more often I am now turning to Him, rather than to food.  The food has pretty much become something I need for nourishment.  Through Him I am able to stop eating when my

stomach is full and fight off the temptation of eating just to be eating. Or rather stuffing. 

He has made me aware whenever I am encountering the past, I fight the urge to run to the candy stuffing aisle.  Whenever sadness envelopes me, it is the savory, fat laden comfort foods I begin to crave.  Whenever He is drawing me out of my comfort zone - sweets take over my imagination. 

And my body has/is paying the price for this type of eating. 

As I am aging, I am finding, as so many others are, the excess weight just doesn't want to leave.  It has affected  my knees, my energy level, my activities, my emotions.  Embarrassment has been the garment I wore when going out in public.  I sometimes allowed it to keep me from doing work for Him.

It's interesting to me that ABBA has not only been cleansing my spiritual being, He has been working on my physical and emotional.  They are all tied in together. 

I will never be the twig I was back in the days before Adam, nor do I want to be.  There is a thing as too skinny.  He has brought me to realizing it isn't only healthy and to be physically able I am striving for, it is to be spiritually and emotionally healed.

It is exciting to allow Him to completely heal and consume the all of me.  It is exciting to recognize food or something else just doesn't fill me up, nor do I want "it" to.  It is exciting to recognize He has been  the only way I am able to take food for what it is.  Nourishment and pleasure in healthy amounts.  It is also exciting to accept "me" and know I am continually striving to be better in all areas of my life, including the physical.  He has opened my eyes to see it took much longer than overnight to accumulate the excess pounds I am carrying, so it will take much longer than overnight to lose it. (No matter how much I desire it to be gone - overnight).

There is no other substitution for Him. 
Only He is able to fill the "God-void" He created within me. 
Nothing or no one else. 

 

  

"Mommies Needed" - 10/15/15 - Matthew 14, Mark 6, Luke 9:1-17

"Already coached by her mother, she was ready: “Give me, served up on a platter, the head of John the Baptizer.”(Matthew 14:8)

 

Whenever I read this scripture, I find myself wondering what kind of life Herodias’s daughter ended up having.  Did she have nightmares?  Was her heart so hardened by then, that what she did catapulted her into an even more sin filled life?  Or did God touch her heart and break the cycle her mom began? 

Society has taken away the importance of the family unit over the past generations.  I know all of us are called by God to walk differently, thus some women have a career outside of the home (whom I admire for being able to do this as well as being a "mommy"). There were many years we made the decision for me to be a stay at home mom.  Years where we barely made it.  Many years only pulling in $13,000 for our annual income.  Throughout those years ABBA supplemented Curt's income by having me run a daycare, cleaning houses and mowing yards.  Anything to be able to be a stay-at-home mom.  ABBA knew this was a desire of my heart and provided.  Each and every time.  My faith grew as well as our children.   

It breaks my heart knowing I wasn't the best "mommy" I could have been because of times when I was too focused on me and not God.  How very thankful I am God is so much bigger than my mistakes!  I am so thankful too, the main thing I knew and made the most important priority was to teach our sons, and other children He put into my life, about God and His Word. 

 

From the moment He gave me Adam, my heart was changed.  I knew to my inner most being I must introduce our children to Him.  To know Him intimately.  Looking back, I am also seeing this was all God because at that time, I didn't know Him intimately.  He drew me into His arms and heart through our sons.  And during those years, He also drew Curt in. 

Thinking again about Herodias and the kind of mom she was. 

 

Training her daughter to dance seductively.  What else did she train her up for.  Was she also willing to give over her daughter's body if needed?  Probably.  Herodias was all about herself.  She saw her daughter as a tool for getting what she wanted.  She had no thought or concern about her daughter's well being.  I think about so many mothers out there today who choose to be the same.  In the world there are so many children being used in the sex trade.  Some women choose to have children on purpose to be used as money tickets from the government, drugs, a tool to "keep a man" or to carry out their sinful ideas. Many are molding their children to carry on the sinful cycle. 

So far removed from how God intended children to be treated. 

 

Treasures from Heaven. 

There is a vast difference between a "mom" and a "mommy", and I often pray for mothers to become "mommies".  I so feel a healthy family unit is part of the progress needed to help recreate a healthy society.  Introducing children to an intimate relationship with God is the hub of it all.  Time around the supper table with each other, talking, listening and sharing each other- without the distractions of the world - aka phones, TV, books, computers, etc.   Making the home a safe haven from the world.  A building tool for a healthy foundation - a healthy cycle to continue on throughout future generations. 

 

Training them up to give God the glory in any situation they are in. 

Teaching them to make Him the center and core of their world. 

 

It scares me knowing there are many "Herodias's" training up children in this world - until I remember my Father is in control. 

 

He is bigger than anything/anyone.  

An article I read years ago about children being stolen by Joseph Kony in Uganda still grabs my heart.  http://www.nbcnews.com/id/9006024/ns/dateline_nbc/t/children-war-uganda/#.Vh-zLf9dEdU a must read)  I wonder what type of mother Kony had.  He imagines he’s a reincarnation of Jesus and calls his group “The Lord’s Resistance Army.”  As America becomes further and further from God, what will prevent something like this from happening here?  I am not blaming all sinful choices people make on their parents.  There comes a time when we make our own choices based on our own decisions.

Yet I can't help see how some women have taken such an important role and responsibility and lessened it on their priority list.  Time goes too fast, too soon.  There aren't any "do overs".  Once those moments have passed - they are gone.  Often I pray the women whose eyes aren't opened to how precious the gift of a child is - will be.  I pray they will see how very important their role is in being the beginning of training up not only their own children, but her future generations.   I pray our ABBA puts other "mommies" into the lives of these children to help in this major job. 

 

I have never read Hillary Clinton's book, but her title says so much.  "It Takes A Village". 
A village of "daddies and mommies" of God. 

"Become" - 10/14/15 - Matthew 9&10

^" He touched their eyes and said, “Become what you believe.” (Matthew 9:29)

He has touched the eyes of my soul - and I have become what I believe.

His.

A woman after His own heart.

"Become" - a word of action. a word of faith. stepping out away from what my comfort zone was. He warns of the division. stand firm. "Become". believe His Word. know His Word. "Become" what He says, don't pick and choose to suit self. take it all in and prune from self that which is not Him.

"Become"

seven letters into such a powerful Word.

What do you Believe?

"In My Arrogance" - 10/13/15 - Matthew 8:14-34, Mark 4 & 5

"He told His disciples to get Him out of there to the other side of the lake.(Matthew 8:18)


I don't know how many times I have read this Scripture, but it only hit me this morning Christ "told His disciples to get Him out of there". 

As if He needed them to "get Him out of there".  Here is the Son of God, one who has complete power at the tip of His finger, getting help from mere humans.

You know, He asks the same of us.

 

He didn't need to give us The great commission, but He did. He doesn't "need" us to do His job.  He doesn't "need" us to do anything.  He desires to do so.  He desires to have us in His life and He in ours.  He desires us to lead others to Him. 

Our ABBA, The Creator of this world, when creating us, in His Image, put within us a deep desire to be "needed".  To have worth. To count for something.  To be recognized.  To be accepted.  To be desired.  And most of all.  most of all.  To be unconditionally loved.

Yet, here we are, the created ones, ignoring, setting aside all He has asked us to do.  Putting our "self" on top of the priority list.  We are picking and choosing which and what we want to do for our Lord.

The times I do become humble and think about putting my arrogance in His face, I am repulsed. 

 

And again, I am grateful He looks at me through Christ, seeing me, even in my sin, as Holy.  As His Beloved.  The Holy Spirit is convicting and growing me to be excited, more than dreading, when I am pushed out of my comfort zone.  He is energizing me, opening my eyes, ears, and heart to those who live outside of Him.  He is using me.  And for the most part, I am heeding His call.

But still there are moments when the human side of me steps in.  and I flat out refuse. 

Who do I think I am to do this? 

"He told the wind to pipe down and said to the sea, "Quiet! Settle down!" The wind ran out of breath; the sea became smooth as glass.(Mark 4:39)

He is "I AM".  God of all. 

There are so many times I haven't a clue how often, His Grace has saved me from when I am nothing but arrogant. 

"He Knew I Needed" - 10/12/15 - Matthew 13, Luke 8

"But He answered and said to them, “My mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.”(Luke 8:21)

We have entered into a different season in our lives.  One that includes the gift of little ones.  We arrived home after church yesterday to the gift of Adam and Ashley fixing us lunch.  Three little ones were playing with Adam and Nichalas' toys from yesteryear, which Adam had brought up out of storage.  It was wonderful seeing things through the eyes of these precious gifts.  Refreshing newness swept throughout our home and the grounds surrounding it.  Acorns became balls.  Trees became a place for future tire swings and a tree house.  Zip lines were imagined here and there.  Plans for trails in the woods for future adventures.  Prayer time around the table before eating were music to the ears in the sounds of the little voices speaking from their hearts. 

The silence in the home after they left was broken by phone conversations and a surprise visit from other family.  Deep down within my heart I was wishing for Nichalas and Amber to be a part of this day and all days.  Knowing it is only in Heaven we will be completely content. 

Throughout the day yesterday, I kept smiling.  Quickly realizing from the start,  it was to be a day of "visiting" He had set up for me.  Every time I turned about, He had my "family" surrounding me.  I am thinking He knew I needed such a day as I am really struggling in missing Nichalas and Amber.  Our lives are filled with many moments of sharing with friends and family through different events, causing me to miss them even more.  I am struggling knowing three months have passed since seeing them and another three will have to pass before they are back for Christmas..  I am struggling with the deep down heart pain and keeping tears from spilling from my eyes on a regular basis.  Simple fact.  I miss these two parts of my heart.  So  I welcome the gifts of bright eyes, hugs, kisses, messages online and through the phone, heart to heart conversations.  I welcome the gifts of Love through others from Him.

I love seeing through my minds eye today, and in the days ahead, moments from yesterdays.  Bits of treasure to take out and enjoy for those days when "visiting hours" are over.  I love seeing our ABBA everywhere I look.  Knowing He is here, within, outside, omnipresent.  I love seeing people, this world, through His eyes.  Seeing the blessings in every single portion of life. 

 I love feasting my vision on His everlasting banquet.

I love hearing His Voice.  Knowing without doubt it is my ABBA.  I love hearing Him speak to me through His Word, through His Spirit, through His people.  I love how He is all knowing, in total control, God.

I love He designed me to share intimacy in Him through others. 
Filling my heart with the innumerable treasures of them. 

 

"Shine Brightly" - 10/11/15 - Matthew 12:22-50, Luke 11

"A constantly squabbling family falls to pieces. If Satan cancels Satan, is there any Satan left? You accuse me of ganging up with the Devil, the prince of demons, to cast out demons, but if you’re slinging devil mud at me, calling me a devil who kicks out devils, doesn’t the same mud stick to your own exorcists? But if it’s God’s finger I’m pointing that sends the demons on their way, then God’s kingdom is here for sure." (Luke 11:17-20)

His Word is a reflection of Him. 
Those in Christ are  to be a reflection of Him. 
A mirror for which we are able to look into. 

How many times when we look into that mirror, we see the ugliness of self looking back?  What an opportunity to grow in Him.  And yet, more often than not, we sling mud.  Trying to cover up the image of Christ, so our image looks better. 

They say, that which bothers you most about someone, is what bothers God, and ourselves, most about what make up "us". 

Generally, we do not like accountability nor do we welcome it.  It is hard to let go, admit, see our faults.  I pray in each mud slinging event I encounter, whether it be myself slinging or someone else, I learn the lesson ABBA is providing for me.  If there is "self" getting in the way of His image - I don't want to cover it up with mud - I want to be rid of it! 

“This is war, and there is no neutral ground. If you’re not on my side, you’re the enemy; if you’re not helping, you’re making things worse."(Luke 11:23) 
 
I don't want to be dressed in mud, I want to wear His Armor. 

May I take the mud slung at me, as water on a ducks back.
Never forgetting this is a spiritual war and it isn't about "me". 
May I remember the times I have slung mud,
thinking it was at another, remember it is actually at my Savior I am throwing the mud. 
May I remember He has covered me with His grace, mercy and forgiveness and love. 
When I deserved to be covered with mud.
May I never hide the Lamp of His Light, with my "self". 
May I not sling the mud of bitterness, anger, revenge, etc. 
May I be a reflection of Him drawing others to be on the winning side.

“No one lights a lamp, then hides it in a drawer. It’s put on a lamp stand so those entering the room have light to see where they’re going. Your eye is a lamp, lighting up your whole body. If you live wide-eyed in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. Keep your eyes open, your lamp burning, so you don’t get musty and murky. Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room.”(Luke 11:33-36)

"Dance With Him" - 10/10/15 - Matthew 11

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of Grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

"Unforced rhythms of Grace".

Close your eyes and imagine yourself walking through this world. 

Are you bent over, carrying the burden of shame, guilt, mantles of sin?  Or are you upright, dressed in His Armor, gliding across the path in His Sonshine, as a dancer on the stage?

"I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you."

His Armor - perfectly fitting.  Unlike the Armor of old which could weigh up to 150 pounds, His armor is light and perfectly tailored.  Perfectly tailored to meet your needs.  For anything and all things you will come up against.  An Armor which is given to you by Him.  Our Christ.  Our Savior, who has gone before us, conquering sin.  Our ABBA.  Our Leader, who goes before us, directing our steps. 

"Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly."

Keep company with Him.  Not just sometimes, but all times.  In all ways.  In all places.  Keep company with Him. 

Close your eyes and picture where it is you live. 

Is it in the darkness of sin, shame, guilt?  Or is it in His Light?  His all powerful Light which cast out all darkness. 

Close your eyes..........

do you see yourself dancing with your ABBA?

"He Touched" - 10/09/15 - Matthew 8:1-13, Luke 7

"Jesus came down the mountain with the cheers of the crowd still ringing in His ears."(Matt 8:1)

He could have been, you know, the kind of King who is big-headed. 

Too good for the lowly, those who are beneath Him. 

He could have mingled only with the affluent, living on the mountaintop. 

He has the world at His fingertips.

He has every reason to be.  He is the Son of God.

Instead -           
"Then a leper appeared and went to his knees before Jesus, praying, "Master, if you want to, you can heal my body."  Jesus reached out and touched him, saying, "I want to. Be clean." Then and there, all signs of the leprosy were gone.(Matt 8:2-3)    

He bent down low

and touched the unlovely.  the unwanted.  the outcast.  the untouchable.

His Love for those lost,

surpassed love for the superficial. 

His Love for His Father,

surpassed love for Himself. 

"Jesus said, "Don't talk about this all over town. Just quietly present your healed body to the priest, along with the appropriate expressions of thanks to God. Your cleansed and grateful life, not your words, will bear witness to what I have done."(Matt 8:4)

Holy Love.  It is all He is about. 

Gut wrenching, crucifying, death defying, Holy Love. 

For us.

"The wretched of the earth have God's salvation hospitality extended to them."(Luke 7:22)

That is exactly what I was outside of Him.  Our Savior.  Wretched and of the earth. 

And through His Blood He has given me words to live by.

"Impressive, isn't it? I was forgiven many, many sins, and so I am very, very grateful."(Luke 7:47)

and  to all who are His.

"He spoke to her: "I forgive your sins."(Luke 7:48)
"and said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you. Go in peace."(Luke 7:50)

He bent down low to touch each of us. 

"Never Alone' - 10/08/15 - Matthew 5-7

 "Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense His Grace."(6:6)

 Rain drizzled on my windshield as I made my way over the roadway in the darkness towards home.  Headlights illuminating the wayside, creating shadows running along beside me.  The voices of praise being sung to our ABBA filled the interior of the vehicle, but inside my head were the voices of doubt.  of fear.  of second guessing.  guilt.

 It is sometimes so easy to fall into the pit of "me", when I am "before God, just being there as simply and honestly as I can manage".  To focus on the doubt arrows satan is shooting at me. 

It was on that night a few years ago in the car He gave to me peace.  Alone, baring my soul and heart to Him, I felt completely vulnerable, recalling moments when I am not as He wishes.  But more importantly He showed me, He knows my heart. 

He knows my heart wants nothing more than to change into constant moments when my all is striving to be more like Him. 

It is often through the prayers mingled in within the notes of the worship music,  my thoughts are drawn back to His Truth.  It is often through the scriptures buried within my heart, taken out and used in my defense against the attacks of doubt from satan, from myself, my focus is returned back to Him. 

I find the times when I am alone, I am remembering more and more -  I really am never alone. 
He fortifies me.  He protects me.  His Words are The Truth.
He is within and around me.  My ABBA.  The Holy Spirit. 

We serve an omnipresent Lord.

"The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense His Grace."

"Breathing in His Grace.  Breathing out His Praise."

My bestest friend who has covered me with His Love. 
with His Grace.  with His Mercy.  with His Blood.