"But Jesus came over and touched them. "Don't be afraid." When they opened their eyes and looked around, all they saw was Jesus, only Jesus."(Matthew 17:7-8)
There are nights when laying in bed, tossing and turning, I begin to pray. Counting my innumerable blessings - my Curt, Adam being here in Quincy, our Nichalas and Amber, and now our Ashley and hers. I think about the relationships I share life with. Sitting around the dinner table last night with Ashley's family. The sounds of life ringing out through our home, knowing we are into another season of life. One filled with the gift of little ones. This past weekend seeing many old and new friends, playing catch up and reminded over and over how very loved I am. Missing our Nichalas and Amber, counting down the days to when they are back for a visit. Counting the blessing of conversations with Nichalas most always ending up discussing our ABBA and His Word. Praying with Nichalas over the phone, a way we have ended our conversations since he moved to his first apartment so helps in closing in the miles laying between us.
I find it is in my restlessness I have taken my focus off of Him, allowing doubt and fear to creep in. Robbing me not only of sleep, but of the life He has planned for me. His whispering catches my ear, beseeching me to come to Him.
He always gives me His Word at the exact time my heart is in need of them. I have only to listen for His Voice.
"Don't be afraid."
He was touching me to my inner self, the place where I try to hide emotions, thoughts, parts of me, I don't want to deal with. Things that complicate living this life. I have found there are some things easier to deal with packed away in this hidden place of my heart.
He always gives me His Word at the exact time my heart is in need of them. I have only to listen for His Voice.
"Don't be afraid."
He was touching me to my inner self, the place where I try to hide emotions, thoughts, parts of me, I don't want to deal with. Things that complicate living this life. I have found there are some things easier to deal with packed away in this hidden place of my heart.
No matter how far away I think these things are, He knows. He knows my heart better than I do.
In the sermon yesterday I listened to words regarding the wearing of masks in different situations. I thought about those I wear a mask around and am in constant turmoil because I am not being as He designed me to be. It is often the mask of defensiveness, guarded, cold, and walled. I know this is opposite of how He created me because when not wearing this mask, I feel the freedom and peace within the all of me. He is growing me to have faith in His defense and protection instead of the false security of "the mask".
In a study I am doing, there was the question, "what is your deepest fear?". I came away discovering it is, "what if the lies I have been surrounded by are really The Truth". What if I am wrong in how I am walking. He knows my deepest, darkest fears. In Scripture, so many accounts of our Savior tell of His reaching down and "touching" in situations where touch wasn't what one would normally do. He came down inside of my heart, in the midst of the "what if" fear and touched me. He held me and reassured me, "Don't be afraid." So many places and times in my life He has spoken these words to me. I have only to listen and hear His Truth.
He has opened my eyes to His Word, to those who He has shared their life in The Scriptures, to those who are alive today, whom I know are walking "in" Him by their fruits, and see also my fruits are a reflection of Him. satan wants nothing more than for me to step off of the foundation of Him and step into the quicksand of fear and doubt.
My ABBA has taken the all of me and put my focus back upon Him. I know He will be with me tomorrow and always, just as He is now. He is in complete control and I am able to stand on His promises - no matter what I will be walking through on my way Home to Him.
How He speaks to me through His Words.
With His touch, I have opened my "eyes and looked around, all I see is Jesus, only Jesus."
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