Curt and I have spent a lot of time in the hospitals this week. My dad had a partial knee replacement and was in for two days. This morning his mom was taken to ER because she was having heart palpitations. They released her this afternoon.
For the past two days we have enjoyed having my mom stay with us, instead of her driving all the way back home. Curt said we really don't look alike, but we share the same laugh when we get silly. How I enjoy just watching my mom. She has the most beautiful blue eyes that come alive and twinkle when she laughs. As I sit and watch, I can see the years fall off of her face and picture her as a young girl.
Today while sitting in the hospital room, Curt was in a chair beside his mom's bed. It was neat to see their faces so close together and search for similarities. There were other siblings there, even those who haven't spoken to each other in years. Although they danced around each other in the small room, you could see the regret and sadness on a brothers face. His pride has prevented him from enjoying his sister and her family. Besides my mom, Curt and I were the only ones to stay with dad. My one sister would have liked to be there, but she had to work.
I was thinking while reading these scriptures today - what a heartache the separation of Esau and Jacob had to be for their father. It was a blessing for Isaac to see them together. I don't know if our families will see that mending. So much deception, drama, pride in the works. As Curt sat in the room with my dad and I sat in the room with his mom, we both knew we were there not as respective in-laws, but because we are a team.
This morning before heading to ER, we prayed that God would use us with all who came into our path. I know that his mom was very glad we were there by her reaction. His one sister was thankful for our love and support, because she is the one who is being ignored. We knew He was using us within the family. It wasn't until we went down to the Tea Room for a cup of coffee that He showed us why we were to be there today. I do not believe in chance or coincidences. He is in complete control - always.
As we were heading over to the counter to place our order, I happened to look down at a young man sitting alone at a table. We were afraid to ask why he was there as he and his family mean a lot to us. His grandparents are getting older and that was our first thought. He then told us that his wife had just delivered their stillborn baby son. She was 18 weeks and they couldn't hear a heartbeat earlier this week. He had just left their room after comforting her. He then shared with us about how it was to hold their perfect little son, counted his toes and fingers, said their goodbyes the same time said hello. Curt and I have two babies in heaven. Our first I carried for 17 weeks and the second for 9 weeks. God used us this morning to comfort this young man. When I think back to the perfect timing of our encounter, our exchanged words and hugs, there is no other explanation but God. How thankful I am that God mends hearts. That He heals us when we think at the time we will never heal. How He repairs relationships that seem forever broken. I thank Him every single day that He has allowed me another day to create memories with those that so much time passed not being together.
One of the most important things He has done for my heart and my life is to teach me to forgive. To hand over to Him the bitterness and anger that I have been carrying for too long. If I hadn't, I would have been one of my dad's children that didn't go to the hospital. My mom wouldn't have been staying with us. Curt and I wouldn't have went to ER this morning. I wouldn't have healed from the loss of our children, let alone comfort another parent who had lost a child too. Carrying anger and bitterness would have prevented that.
It's highly unlikely that I will live to be 180 years old. I pray though that our sons will bury me together - that there isn't separation in our family. That they will always remain close and the years we have together, that go too fast, too soon, are made of creating memories. Not only for our enjoyment, but for the relationships of their children and beyond - to keep this family together In Him. I pray that all our generations won't allow revenge, bitterness, anger, or other sin to get in the way of being vessels for Him. That their eyes will be open for any opportunity He places before them.
Because He will.
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