"Complete Heaven" - 12/31/15 - Revelation 20-22

"I saw Heaven and earth new-created. Gone the first Heaven, gone the first earth, gone the sea.        
I saw Holy Jerusalem, new-created, descending resplendent out of Heaven, as ready for God as a bride for her husband.        

I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: "Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making His home with men and women! They're His people, He's their God.        

He'll wipe every tear from their eyes.

Death is gone for good - tears gone, crying gone, pain gone -

all the first order of things gone."(21:1-4)

 

Another last day.  Another year will have passed in just a few hours and it seemed just a few days ago it began.  Another day tomorrow, God willing, will bring in the year of 2016.  2016.  I can remember thinking in the 80's that seemed like an eternity away.  So far away at that time, being in the 50's seemed to be impossibly old.  How that way of thinking has changed.

 

There are moments when it is hard for me to let go.  It is hard for me to comprehend the blessings I have here on earth are just a mild taste of those to come when in Heaven.  It is hard for me not to take and focus on the joys I have here, instead of focusing on Eternity.

My "Taste of Heaven" here fills so much of me, many times I don't want to let it go.  Why?  Because there are more times often than not,  I am just plain out selfish.  When I am focusing on me and getting my voids filled by persons and things, rather than letting go in anticipation of Eternity.  In my trying to hang onto these "Taste of Heaven", I become like a self-centered child.  When the unfairness of life steps in - and it will - anger, bitterness, unforgiveness seeps in as I focus more on what I don't have, instead of what He has blessed me with. 

These past few days my heart is so full.  The gift of having all of us together - at any given time - any place.  Days which have flown by in a blur, as we prepare for the engagement party this Saturday. 

 

Bittersweet will be this Saturday for me. 

 

I rejoice in celebration knowing in 2016 will be the beginning of our Adam, Ashley, Charlie and Ella as a family unit.  I am so thankful the women our sons have chosen, Amber and Ashley, have brought about an even stronger unity within our family.  I delight in the gift of another daughter-in-love to become a part of my heart.  (I smile knowing she and hers already have.)  I am excited about this new role as grandma to our Charlie and Ella.  I am so thankful for the VanCamp family we have become a part of as they opened their hearts to all of us. My heart overflows with the many who love and share life with me.  I am so blessed.

 

And in the same moments I am struggling knowing early Sunday morning, again we will be separated by the several hundred miles as Nichalas and Amber make their way back to Arizona.  I struggle knowing it will be many weeks before the short time of my "Taste of Heaven" being together happens again. 

 

In His own special way, ABBA helps me see, my clinging onto "the Taste of Heaven" moments, is a hindrance to not only myself, but to others.  When I do, I am putting a burden on others to fill my void.  I am to cherish those moments, not allow them to fill my God-void. When I want the moments not to end, my feet are stuck in that place.   

 

How much He has helped me see (again) in His using our children where they are planted, near or far, they are leading others to Him.  Others that see no other "Christ", except when experiencing life with our kids.  In my selfishness of wanting them here, wrapped up in my life, I am missing the point of why we are here.  If my selfishness were to become reality, it would prohibit their growth in and for our ABBA.  For themselves and others.

 

Eternity. 

 

Eternity is coming.  Eternity is a time of being together 24/7 celebrating true Heaven, not just a taste.  Eternity in Heaven is a time for no more tears.  no more sorrows.  no more pain.  no more separation.  It is a time of Eternity with the God void completely, totally filled because we will be with Him.  Face to face. 

 

I read the verses today and He realigns my focus once more.  Sweeping away the bitter in the sweet.

 

"He who testifies to all these things says it again: "I'm on my way! I'll be there soon!" Yes! Come, Master Jesus!

       

The grace of The Master Jesus be with all of you. Oh, Yes!"(22:20-21)

 

 

"My Favorite Revelation Verses" - 12/30/15 - Revelation 17-19

 
^"And I saw heaven opened,

and behold, a white horse,

and He who sat on it is called Faithful and True,

and in righteousness He judges and wages war.

His eyes are a flame of fire,
and on His head are many diadems;
and He has a name written on Him which no one knows except Himself.

He is clothed with a robe dipped in blood,

and His name is called The Word of God.

And the armies which are in heaven,
clothed in fine linen,
white and clean,
were following Him on white horses.

From His mouth comes a sharp sword,
so that with it He may strike down the nations,
 and He will rule them with a rod of iron;
and He treads the wine press of the fierce wrath of God, the Almighty.

And on His robe
and on His thigh
He has a name written,

“KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.”  (19:11-16)

"The Battle Rages" - 12/29/15 - Revelation 14-16

"Here is the perseverance of the saints who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus."  (14:12)


 Revelation is a hard read for me.  I don't understand most of the writings.  I try to picture the images and come away even more perplexed.  I do know it is in regard to the second coming.  The end times. 

Many speculate what it means, when the account of Revelation becomes.  All I know is when Christ ascended into Heaven, the end days began.

Living a life in Christ isn't easy.  All about us the spiritual warfare is continuing and many times we walk along oblivious to the damage.  Or as I struggle, taking everything personal and allow everything to become about "me".  It is during those times of being so consumed with "self" I am not realizing I am meant to be a Warrior for our ABBA.  No matter the circumstances.  No matter the attacks. 

So many souls have yet to give their lives over to our Christ.  So many souls stumble about, lost in the wasteland of sin.  So many souls Christ has left us with orders to harvest.

I haven't any concern over my soul.  It is saved eternally through The Blood of my Savior. 

I do know, each and every person He puts into my path is someone He is wanting to use me for.  It may be for introducing them to Him, encouraging them in their walk in Him, to just offer love as a healing balm from the injuries sustained while on the battlefield. 

I also know, while reading Revelation, to end this time on earth without Him is hell.  To be in a place where there isn't any of Him - will be hell as we have never known.  Total separation from our ABBA. 

I come away from my time spent in His Word realizing, it isn't about my soul.  It is about those that know Him not. 

The end days are upon us.  Live as though those who do not know Him are dying and you - you - are His Warrior. 

For in reality - that is exactly what our life here is all about. Each of us are dying as we are journeying towards Home. Be one who is bringing as many as you can.

"With The Birth" - 12/28/15 - Revelation 10-13

"And she gave birth to a son, a male child" (12:5)

He stood at the end of the aisle this morning, carefully checking out the different hues of blues, silvers and whites.  The different forms, heights, fullness.  He was picking out the flowers he would be using to create table decorations for the engagement party being held this weekend in the celebration of he and Ashley. 

While reading this verse, my mind instantly went back almost 31 years to the moment I first saw our Adam through the nursery window.  They were holding him up as they wheeled me by on the way to my room.  I remember when they brought him to me, the first thing I did was stretch him out on the pillow laying across my body.  Marveling that almost 10 pounds, 22 1/2 inches of this little one had been inside of me just a few hours before.

There hasn't been one day of regret in the blessing of being a mom since February 18th in 1985 nor Nichalas on May 03, 1988.  It doesn't seem possible this many years have passed. 

We are so looking forward to celebrating the day he will become not only a husband, but daddy as well to Charlie and Ella.  I think about all the prayers, from myself and others, sent up in regard to our Adam.  For the woman we didn't yet know, whom our ABBA had chosen for him.  And smile today when I see our Ashley with him and know - without doubt - he is complete.  Just as Amber completes our Nichalas.

I see this young man who has waited what seemed to him a long while, for this time.  I have seen in his eyes he has yearned for ABBA to give him a wife and family to call his own.  To share the moments and seconds in living life, no longer alone.  I see the man whom our ABBA created him to be unfold before my eyes.  Standing up straighter, stronger, happier.  Accepting the responsibility of being the spiritual leader in this little unit he will call "his family". 

I praise our ABBA, for it wasn't just myself standing and watching him this morning.  I was sharing these moments with Ashley's mom, Dawn.  There is such a relief knowing if something were to happen to us, this woman, this family, is loving Adam as their own.  Just as we have come to love Ashley.  Charlie.  Ella.  Amber.  It isn't about the blood flowing through our veins, it is the blood of our Christ connecting us.  For eternity. 

It is not only our two families, but extended family and friends as well, giving their gifts of love.  Working to prepare for the engagement party this weekend and then the big event on our lawn in July.  Their celebrating with us during the time leading up to when they become husband and wife.  I rejoice knowing Adam and Ashley will be passing the gift of our ABBA onto their little ones, as we and Ashley's family have passed onto ours.

Our ABBA has answered these prayers more wonderfully than I can comprehend. 
From the birth of my sons, I am so richly blessed.  Over and over continually.  Eternally.
Praise to our Almighty Father.  Because of His Son whom Mary gave birth.       

"He Is" - 12/27/15 - Revelation 6-9

"standing steady with a firm grip on the four winds, so no wind would blow on earth or sea, not even rustle a tree." (7:1)

How I love the wind.  On a hot summer day, its gentle, cooling caress across my face. 

A Kiss from my ABBA. 

Standing in the middle of His open fields, the dark clouds billowing about, circling high above my head.  The winds sweeping down, causing the trees and grasses to bow down low before Him.  Surrounding me within His whirlwind, useless are my hands in trying to hold my hair from my eyes. 

                            
                                                                                                                       

His strength is felt as                                                                                                                   

winds press against me. 







His winds,
growing the waves to heights unimaginable in the vast open seas, carried to rest on the shores,
miles away. 

His winds, are able to blaze heat across the plains, burning the grasses with the help of His sun. 

And then the season of coldness,
                                       
                                                        turning everything it touches into His sparkling ice.

How all of His Winds, are in His control, even when from our viewpoint they run wild. 

Such is our life.

At all times, He is in control.  No matter the celebrations, times of rest, circumstances, situations, trials, tribulations. 


He is in control. 

Knowing He is able to control the winds, to such a point as to "not even rustle a tree".

How then.......
why then..............

at times do I doubt.
He is "I AM"

"The Real Deal Of An Eternal Lifetime" - 12/26/15 - Revelation 1-5

 "Look at Me. I stand at the door.
I knock.
If you hear Me call and open the door,

I'll come right in and sit down to supper with you."(3:20)

There was a show I enjoyed as a kid, "Let's Make A Deal".  The remaining contestants at the end of the show were asked to pick Door 1 or 2 or 3.  I would always become nervous because usually, they had to give up some pretty neat prizes won thus far for the chance to choose.  There was never a guarantee that behind the door were better prizes.  More often than not, they weren't and the "winner" walked away a "loser".

Reading these Scriptures today reminded me of this game show.  I also noticed for the first time, it isn't a blind choice.  Christ is telling me, "Look at Me.  I stand at the door. I knock.  If you hear me call."

He isn't leaving anything to chance.  I not only see Him standing there, He is knocking at which door I am to open and He is calling out to me.  To me. 

And "if" -

"if" I open the door He is knocking on,

there isn't any hesitation. 

"I'll come right in and sit down to supper with you."

The neatest part of all this, I know He isn't coming as a guest, but as family.  He wants not only to sit down and share supper with me, He wants to share life with me. He wants to walk each step with me on this journey towards Home.

He won't be exiting out that door, unless I show Him out.
He is here to stay.

"HE" is why I am not a "loser", but forever a "winner".  No games about it. 

 

 

"Loved Completely" - 12/25/15 - 2 John, 3 John

"But permit me a reminder, friends, and this is not a new commandment but simply a repetition of our original and basic charter: that we love each other."(2 John 1:5)

 

A season of firsts.

This is the first Christmas morning Curt and I have shared alone in 30 years.  Yesterday was the first of having both our sons celebrating with ones who complete them.  Our Amber, Ashley, Charlie, and Ella.  It is the first Christmas we have had little ones in our immediate family in a very long while.  It is the first Christmas I have shopped for grandchildren.  

And amongst the "first" were the traditions.  We listened as Curt read The account of The Birth of our Savior.  We held hands in a circle and each prayed thanksgiving to our ABBA for blessings given throughout the year.  We watched as each opened their presents.  Loving the reactions.  It was another year of having our Marty with us.  It was another time of our home being full of Him through those who are here "because of two people".  

There were other dinners and events calling our children, so it was Curt and myself attending Christmas Eve Services.  I loved walking in and seeing my extended family within those walls. Surprised by seeing our friends Don and Karen, blessed to take a seat beside them and catch up a bit.  During the services, my heart filled up as I looked about and saw those whom I love dearly.  All singing praises to our ABBA.  All who are family "because of one Savior".   

She sat with her young toddler asleep on her lap as I made my way over to her.  Christmas Eve services had just finished up and I needed, not just wanted, to say hello.  One of my many "sisters" in Christ.  Looking up and seeing me, her eyes became bright, her arm raised up to envelope me into a hug.  She whispered into my ear, "my heart burst whenever I see your smile". 

Walking through the doors earlier, there were those who  greeted with their love for me showing through their eyes.  One young "sister" stood leaning against the wall, upon seeing me she broke into a run and wrapped herself about me.  Another "sister" came up and gave her mischievous grin and shared her love with not only me, but Curt as well.  

Afterwards my sister, Teresa, and her family shared supper with us in our home.  This is a tradition I have come to need throughout the years.  The time to sit and relax during this busy season.  A time to visit and laugh until tears flow from our eyes.  To be with this family whom I love from the bottom of my heart. 

 

Today we shared the noon meal with my Holtschlag family.  It seems impossible 33 years have passed since the first one.  Many new faces have come in that time amongst the memories of those who are no longer with us.  We were wondering today how different it would be if Curt's dad were still living.  To see we are now the age of those we looked upon as "old" (knowing we are now looked upon as "old").  Funny how time has a way of going too fast, too soon. 

 

In thinking about time, I pray for those who have not their loved ones here on this earth.  I pray for those who are suffering, who are going through a valley.  I pray they will find Him.  For through Him is the Peace that surpasses all understandings.  I pray I may show love to all, as I am shown from others. 

 

Continually, my mind goes into overload, memories made and being made. It isn't just during this season of Christmas, but it is each and every day. It is during each and every moment. ABBA gives me reminders through cards, text, phone calls, messages, physical touch and bright eyes. .   
Words.  Hugs.  Expressions.  All of Love. All from Him.  How very loved I am.

Merry Christmas indeed.  My heart is near to bursting from His gifts.  

 

 

"Truly Blessed" - 12/24/15 - I John

"But you belong. The Holy One anointed you, and you all know it."(2:20)
Within the next few hours the sounds of Christmas music filtering through the silence in our home will be replaced with the voices and laughter of the parts of our hearts.  We will be celebrating the birth of our Savior. 

I am thankful for the trials and tribulations in my life.  They have made me to be one who is aware and always counting the many blessings raining down upon me.  Because of our unexpected trip to Texas I am even more aware of what this Christmas could have been like. 

In my prayers this morning for my Curt.  For the many years we have shared and pray for many more.  For the way he jumps in, runs the vacuum, dust, so I am able to study, to cook.  Most of all for how He completes me.

I thanked my ABBA for Adam, Ashley, Charlie, and Ella.  For the excitement of having little ones around the tree once again.  I hadn't realized how much I missed this until shopping for them, putting their gifts under the tree, anticipating their joy in playing with what they will receive.

 I thanked my ABBA once again for preventing Nichalas and Amber of an accident.  An accident when reviewing all the facts, should have occurred. 

I thanked my ABBA for the many other parts of my heart.  Who fill my life.  Who make memories with me.  Who love me. 

All of these thoughts ran through my mind while reading I John.  John in whom Love saturates all of his words.  John who implores us to "love one another". 

It seems the Christmas season is usually an emotional roller coaster ride.  Bringing about memories.  Making of new memories.  Some wonderful.  Some not so much.  I am thankful for where our ABBA has brought me on this day.  I am thankful for who He has made me to be on my journey thus far.  I am thankful for how He has used all things, all happenings, all of it, to transform my heart to Love. 

I am thankful for The Blessing of my Savior.  My Savior who has given me the bestest gift of all. 

LOVE.  Merry CHRISTmas. 

"Servant For Him" - 12/23/15 - 2 Peter 1-3, Jude

 ^"I, Jude, am a slave to Jesus Christ and brother to James, writing to those Loved by God, The Father, called and kept safe by Jesus Christ. Relax, everything’s going to be all right; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, Love is on the way!" (Jude 1:1-2)

Humble. 

Jude opened his letter with his introduction as "slave" to Jesus Christ.   

 

He could have written, "half brother".  Willingly, he lowered his position to be underneath his half brother who happened to be The Savior of the world.  Earlier in Scripture, there are accounts of Christ's earthly family rejecting His being The Messiah.  I don't know if Jude was one of the brothers who made fun of Him, came with their mother to put Him away because they felt He had lost His mind, but I do know his introduction paints a picture of a humble man. 

This is yet another example of how I am to be a humble woman in and for my ABBA.  I could easily spout off the many verses stating the fact I am His beloved, His daughter, His, when attacked by the worldly persons.  I struggle at times, less than I used to, to defend myself.  

How He has/is transforming my heart. 

I rejoice in the freedom of letting go of expectations and drinking in the moments He has given me.  I stand firm and bask in the blessings from The Fruits of The Spirit, not allowing anything to rob me of them. There is a struggle though, when His Truth comes out, casting Light upon lies, not to stand in self-righteousness, not to scream out, "I told you so". 

He reminds me, but for His grace, I would be where the world is.  If not for His defending me, I am nothing.  It isn't anything I have done.  It is all about Him.   He is showing me the many whom are lost and in such deep need of Him - as I once was.

To be a servant for my Master, means being a servant to others.


Even the unlovely.  The ones who need Him most.  The "ones" I used to be as.  The "ones" I sometimes still am like. 





My Master loves me, even in my unloveliness.  His transforming me, is enabling me to love as He loves.  No matter how unlovely. 


                                                      My Master - who became a Servant for me.



Jude could have easily written his letter in a self-righteous manner, but he didn't.  He cast aside his "credentials", so all who read his words would see, he came from the same place the lost do - outside of God.  He would be in the same place they were, if He didn't have his Master - Christ Jesus.

He was able to love as Christ loves, because he set aside self and looked at all, all, through the eyes of His Savior.  In doing this, God's Glory shines through, without any hindrance from Jude.

His humbleness is there throughout all his words.

My ABBA is growing me, transforming me.  It is only "in" Him I am able to be truly humble.
So His Glory does shine through - with less hindrance from me.

"Gift Eternal" - 12/22/15 - I & 2 Thessalonians

12/22/15 - I & 2 Thessalonians

"Gift Eternal"

"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word."  (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)

 We decided years ago to cut way back on Christmas gifts. It was easy to work out since there were four of us, so each would receive three gifts, based on three gifts Christ received from the Wise Men. (Just the number, not the actual gifts - couldn't afford those!)

Each one of us would pick out a person/persons we didn't spend much time with, bake cookies together, deliver and visit.  We found it took more of an effort to "gift" this way.  Much more than going to the store, wrapping, and putting under the tree. 

There were some who expressed to us they felt we were depriving our sons, but within one Christmas I became thankful for our changes. It opened my eyes to seeing in our home,  Christmas was becoming too much about the world of retail and not the birth of our Savior. Each year, Curt has read the Christmas story from Luke, have a prayer circle, sharing what we are thankful for in the past year and then - then we open our gifts.

It was after much prayer we decided in this way to celebrate His birth.  Throughout the seasons of life we have found it is a must to be flexible as we continue to build off this foundation we began.  It has become more important in being used for Him through our "good works and word", because falling more "in" love with our ABBA brings about the desire to please Him more and more.   

I love these verses -

"When the going gets rough, take it on the chin with the rest of us, the way Jesus did. A soldier on duty doesn’t get caught up in making deals at the marketplace. He concentrates on carrying out orders." (2 Timothy 2:2)

particularly the part about not getting "caught up in making deals at the marketplace". 

The marketplace - it hasn't a care about Christ birth,
how much debt you will be accumulating,
how empty you will feel after the moment of unwrapping has passed. 

 There is only one gift which is able to cause you to feel like celebrating every moment - no matter the circumstances - for the rest of your life. 

 It is the gift of our Savior. 
 It is a gift paid in full. 

 How many are on your Christmas gift list to give the True Gift of Life? 

 I am praying you don't get caught up in the market place in the world's way of celebrating, but "concentrate on carrying out orders" - ABBA's orders. 

"So wherever you go, make disciples of all nations: Baptize them in the name of The Father, and of The Son, and of The Holy Spirit." (Matthew 28:19)

 Be a deliverer to those who need The True Gift of Christmas. 
 Every day - as you live - not just at Christmas time.

"Passing Through" - 12/21/15 - Hebrews 11-13

^"Each one of these people of faith died not yet having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world. People who live this way make it plain that they are looking for their true home. If they were homesick for the old country, they could have gone back any time they wanted. But they were after a far better country than that—heaven country. You can see why God is so proud of them, and has a City waiting for them." (11:13-16)


I sat looking out the window into the darkness as we journeyed back towards Quincy.  Here and there throughout the landscape were homes and buildings covered with sparkling lights, sending their  message of "Merry Christmas" to all who happened to look upon them.  As words of conversation flowed throughout the cab, I was silently conversing with our ABBA.  So thankful for all the prayers which have been covering these two parts of our hearts since they left Arizona.  

Tears streamed down my face as I thought about how we could have instead driven down to pick them up in body bags, returning with only silence and sobbing in the cab of the truck. I kept thinking about how different events would have been without His miracles.  I started to count the numerous blessings raining down upon us - despite the situation we were in.  Upon sharing the events, time after time we could see His Mighty Hand controlling everything.  Smiling as memories of our first years together came by as we had driven by places we used to live by.  I loved our time in Texas.  He blessed us before the return trip in getting to have lunch outside of Ft. Worth with our first "couple" friends, Javier and Cindy, and their son Miguel and friend of the family Will.   

Nichalas' phone call had caused us to rearrange the schedule we had planned out.  Our help was needed to bring them and their dead SUV back here. We had left Saturday night at approximately 9pm in the truck pulling the trailer.  Making our way across the states lying in between us and Texas, we arrived 12 hours later.  Tired, yet very relieved to see and actually feel the physical hugs we shared upon our greeting. 

The physical gift of being together. 

When the leaves have fallen from the trees, the underbrush has died back, we can view our neighbors to the south.  They are all hanging around, there on the hill, we only know two or three of them.  Actually, they are very good neighbors - never loud, not in your business, no guilt about spending time with them, they pretty much keep to themselves.   Their current address is St Anthony Cemetery. 

It isn't that I am afraid to die.  I know, without doubt, Heaven is my final address.  While here as a "transient in this world",  I enjoy my "taste of Heaven".  And honestly, I am torn between here and there.  I am also selfish in wanting my "taste of Heaven" to be here as well. 





I had an inkling of how our ABBA had protected Nichalas and Amber during the breakdown of their SUV.  It wasn't until our face to face conversation the hugeness of it all came to light.  The mechanic had told them this was the first time they had ever witnessed a vehicle applying its own brakes.  Nichalas shared four other mechanics came over to check out the situation and after seeing what had happened were amazed they had not suffered a serious, if not fatal wreck.  They had been driving 80 mph when all wheels locked up.  Nichalas said there was a bit of sliding as it came to a halt, but nothing major.  Even now, I fight the urge to break down and cry knowing what could have been if our ABBA's hand hadn't been controlling it to a stop. 

I have loved listening to them praise ABBA in His intervention from everything to an accident, to the mechanics who are men of God, to the persons involved in helping them out.  I have loved listening to their reports of seeing ABBA in action.  In hearing them give Him all praise.  I love watching our children live for their ABBA. 

My heart has changed so much over the years.  I really do feel like a transient in this world.  It used to be that I was so focused on making a living, growing the business, obtaining a home, driving a nice vehicle, etc.  And now...........even though God has blessed me with so much materialistically, and I am very appreciative of it all,  it just isn't what my heart is set on.  It isn't what I find my worth in.  The world's measuring stick is no longer the one I use.

My life is about my faith in Him.  "It’s impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him." (11:6)  This faith has grown my heart to draw closer to Him.  It has caused me to live my life wanting to please Him, live for Him, become more Christlike with every breath I take. 

I know I could not continue to live without this faith.  It has gotten me through so much in my life and will continue to do so.  It doesn't matter if tomorrow is the end of this world.  What does matter is that I live each today as though it were my last day.  That all whom He has me to encounter - they meet Him through me.  That I stand in my faith knowing no matter the situation I am in, His glory will shine and His way will prevail. 

"God had a better plan for us: that their faith and our faith would come together to make one completed whole, their lives of faith not complete apart from ours." (11:40)

What a blessing and how neat it is knowing that those who lived in their faith before me and me in my faith,  are part of His plan - working together -  passing Him on as we make our way to "heaven country".

"My Bestest" - 12/20/15 - Hebrews 7-10

^" So, friends, we can now—without hesitation—walk right up to God, into “the Holy Place.” Jesus has cleared the way by the blood of his sacrifice, acting as our priest before God. The “curtain” into God’s presence is his body." (10:19-21)


I love that I can crawl up into His lap at any moment.  That He is always inside of me.  Always right by my side.  I am so thankful I belong to a Daddy that is everywhere all at once!  There is not any place I can go that He isn't there.  I love that He "desires" me to be with Him. 


Desire - to wish or long for; crave; want.

His desire is for me.  For you.  For all of us.  




This is why He gave us Christ.  He desires that we "walk right up" to Him.  That He becomes and stays our "bestest" friend.  He desires that He is our whole life.  That He is the first, last, and in between thought throughout our days.

Is He?

"Never Let Go" - 12/19/15 - Hebrews 1-6

  

^"We who have run for our very lives to God have every reason to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go. It’s an unbreakable spiritual lifeline, reaching past all appearances right to the very presence of God where Jesus, running on ahead of us, has taken up his permanent post as high priest for us, in the order of Melchizedek."   (6:18-20)

"Never let go". 

Yet, how many of us end up doing so? 
Or hang on with one hand while holding onto the world with the other? 
How often do we decide to put our own mix into God's plan and totally mess it up? 
How often do we chose to hold on to something that is "breakable" rather than the "unbreakable" He provides? 
How often do we serve self rather than Him? 

Each and every time I decide to do things "my" way rather than His.

And then there I am again, "running for my very life to God".  
How thankful I am that my ABBA knows me. 
For the times my choices will become consequences that create storms, my Savior has "run on ahead of me" to be my "unbreakable spiritual lifeline". 

How His grace and mercy rain down upon me, turning the icy, cold storms of life into a gentle, warm spring rain.  A rain that I can stand in, my face uplifted, my dry, parched soul drinking in His nourishment. The Holy Spirit living within me helping me to hang on tightly. What comfort there is in knowing that even though I do "let go with both hands", He knows  in my heart of hearts I so desire to please Him, love Him - to not let go. 

Yet I do.

Why?  Bottom line is that I have made the choice to serve self. 
I have decided that I am more important than Him. 
That I know what is best. 
That the temptations of the world are what I want rather than Him. 

Yet another reason I am so thankful for His Word.  It is His plan He has given me for the storms of life.  For the times I serve me rather than Him.  It is my road map to getting back "holding onto my lifeline with both hands".   It is my own personal love letter from Him that ensures no matter what, He will never - never - stop loving me. 

He will never - never - yank away His lifeline. 

For I know, it isn't my ABBA prying away my hands on that lifeline.
It's "me" letting go. 

And always, He is there to catch me when I fall.  The God of unconditional Love.  Teaching me again, "to grab the promised hope with both hands and never let go".

"Confession" - 12/18/15 - I Peter 1-5

"Casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." (5:7)

For the past couple of weeks I have noticed it happening.  I felt He had helped me get beyond this problem.  It shows up in larger helpings.  Getting up in the middle of the night and eating a handful or two of chocolate chips.  Eating when I know I am not even hungry.  Trying to cover up this feeling in the core of my being with food.  I have been stepping backwards.

I am an emotional eater. 

Two parts of my heart will be getting into their SUV later this day and begin their 32 hour journey  towards home.  No matter how much I pray and try to keep focused on our ABBA, I recognize my subconscious has been thinking the worst scenarios while Nichalas and Amber are traveling.  I recognize how selfish I am in wanting all the parts of my heart to remain here in this world with me.  Even when I know, without doubt, they are His. Turmoil.  Anxiety.  Not being able to sleep.  I reach for food.

It has been almost six months since seeing our Nichalas and Amber.  Six long months of our family not being complete, while sharing day to day life with Adam, Ashley, Charlie and Ella.  Knowing our being together for almost a month per year, has and is part of the plan for the next few years, makes our time together even more treasured.  It so helps knowing our ABBA is using us for His Glory as His Warriors where He has each of us planted.  It so helps knowing He is omnipresent.  It so helps knowing, without doubt, the "parts of my heart" are His.

Living in this world is so bittersweet because of the spiritual warfare going on about us.  Numerous faces run through my minds eye, those who have endured loss and heartache.   Those who, like me, during the holiday seasons remember more frequently the "parts of their hearts" whom are no longer on this earth. My eyes tear up thinking of the pain endured within those I love,  knowing the precious faces missed are now seen only through memories or photographs.  I pray comfort and hope is there for them, knowing their dreams of future times are put on hold until all are together again in Heaven.

Fear.  It resides deep down within my heart and sometimes it will rear its ugly, damaging, head.  It utilizes every single thing it can to take my focus off of ABBA.  It tries to dress me in doubt. 
There can be fear in loving others so deeply.  Fear of Curt.  Fear of Adam.  Fear of Ashley.  Fear of Nichalas.  Fear of Amber.  Fear of Charlie.  Fear of Ella.  Fear of these dearest "parts of my heart" being taken from this earth.

His Word tells us to confess our sins.  I am confessing.

I am an emotional eater who has been trying to stuff down my greatest fear.
I fear they, and other parts of my heart, will be taken from this world.  

I know I have this fear because we already have two children in Heaven.  It crosses my mind frequently how our lives would have been so different if they had of lived.  I often wonder what gender they are.  What they look like.  The age they would be.  It used to be I was so set into self-pity and selfishness, I wasn't focusing on the many other blessings I was given from ABBA. 

Yet I have to be careful I don't hold on too tightly to the parts of my heart He has me sharing life with while here.  That I don't begin to love them more than I love Him.  Because I once did.  And in doing so, I was squeezing the life out of Love.  Placing too much of a burden on them to fill voids within. 

ABBA reminds me I need to fill myself with Him. Only He is able to fill the voids. He gives me strength and comfort (not the food or any other thing or person) to love deeply, "to do what is right without being frightened by any fear." (3:6)

I love how He always gives me at the exact moment the verses needed.  To set my focus back upon Him.  No matter what occurs while here on this earth, as we make our journey towards Heaven,  He is watching over me.  Over all of us. We are promised,  "the Day is coming when you'll have it all - life healed and whole." (1:5) 

 

 

"Out Of Faith" - 12/17/15 - Titus 1-3

"and let our people also learn to engage in good deeds to meet pressing needs, that they may not be unfruitful." (3:14)

One of the many things I have learned about faith is as it grows - fear diminishes. 
As faith grows - sin doesn't have as many footholds as it once did. 

Fear used to be ever present in my life. 

I allowed it to guide me focusing more on the "what if's", the rejections (which may or may not occur).  I allowed it to be my excuse to stay in my comfort zone.

From my earliest memories, I have always been afraid of anger.  Of conflict. 
Even when I was out in public and strangers across the store were arguing, I would be afraid they would turn, look at me and blame me for their predicament.   I was always afraid I wouldn't measure up, be able to do the task at hand.  It was too easy to beat myself up over a situation, lacking confidence that I was good at something.  At anything.

I was choosing fear over faith.

One of the greatest gifts I have gained from being in His Word is knowing,  He has "put me together and shaped me up - for the works He has for me".  He has prepared me.  Equipped me.  Designed me.  Put me where He needs me to be.  He has given me the instruction manual in His Word.  I am not walking blind or confused.

For the most part, instead of walking in fear - I now walk in excitement.  I look forward to what is around the next corner.  I walk hand in hand with Him as we celebrate this journey together.  He has given me comfort and encouragement in seeing although I am not perfect, there are quite a few successful works behind "us". 

 It is all because of Him.  Of Him using me as a vessel for Him.   In our marriage, our children, our relationships with family, friends.  In our business.  In all of my life. 

So, when the times come where I doubt, focusing on fear, He reminds me - I can stand firm in His Word - on and in Him.  He has promised me - "in" Him - I am prepared for His works He has set before me. 

"Of Being Yourself" - 12/16/15 - I Timothy 5 - 2 Timothy 4

" but it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God."(6:6)

I really can't think of anything more exhausting than pretending to be someone you are not. 

 

In so many ways it leads to self-destruction.  How often are we guilty of trying to impress someone with things, status, lifestyle, all at the cost of whom we really are.  How often do we believe just being ourselves isn't enough.  How often do we doubt that who ABBA made us to be is sorely lacking and won't be enough to be accepted. 

Not only with other persons, but even with our ABBA.

Right up there with the blessing of the gifts in knowing my Salvation is paid for by Christ, in knowing I am covered with His Grace, Mercy, Forgiveness, is also knowing the time spent with my ABBA -  He wants me only to be "myself".

To finally comprehend He knows my heart through and through.  Any mask I put on, He sees "me" behind it. No longer do I have to hide away parts of me I think are totally unacceptable, He already knows and accepts me anyway. No longer do I think my words are ones He doesn't want to be bothered with, but instead He desires to hear each and every one.  No longer do I have to have a "stiff upper lip", He cries with me and captures each tear in a bottle.  No longer do I believe I am out in this world alone, He has me in the palm of His Hand, totally controlling all of life. 

Simply being "myself".  With Him. Sharing all of living this life as the woman He created me to be.

 

This is what He desires.
 
 Such a gift has been given to each one of "us". Knowing our ABBA wants nothing more, nothing less, than "us".

"the rich simplicity"...............

"Wrapped In His Goodness" - 12/15 /15 - I Timothy 1-4

"Everything God created is good,

                                                and to be received with thanks." (4:4)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The moments caught previously on camera will come alive once more. I will again be reminded every where I look, of how His love covers me.  The snows will return.

 

And when it does.  Each and every time.

 In Awe, I kneel before Him.

Breathless by the display of His Power

                                                                              and Beauty.

 

 

"Deep, Deep Within" - 11/14/15 - Philippians 1-4

11/14/15 - Philippians 1-4

"Deep, Deep Within"

"Don't fret or worry.
Instead of worrying, pray.
Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.
        

Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down.

 

It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

        

Summing it all up, friends,

I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious -

 

the best, not the worst;

the beautiful, not the ugly;

things to praise, not things to curse.

        

Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized.

 

Do that,

and God,

who makes everything work together,

will work you into His most excellent harmonies.(4:6-9)

 

 

 

 Receive and experience the amazing grace of The Master, Jesus Christ,

 

deep, deep within yourselves.(4:23)

"Mostly, Yes - Mostly" - 12/13/15 - Ephesians 1-6

"Mostly what God does is love you.

Keep company with Him and learn a life of love.
Observe how Christ loved us.
His love was not cautious but extravagant.
He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of Himself to us.

Love like that. "(5;2)

Words from God's Hand (Paul) to your hearts.............

 

 

"Keeping His Appointments" - Colossians 1-4; Philemon

"I, Paul, have been sent on special assignment by Christ as part of God's Master Plan."
(Colossians 1:1)

Isn't it exciting to know, as soon as your foot hits the floor each morning, our ABBA has  "Divine Appointments" set up for you in the day ahead!
 

Divine Appointments He has prepared you for, in the exact place, at the exact time, with the exact persons - before the world was made. 

Nothing about life is a coincidence.

All is in His control. 

But why is it, when throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed, we then reach over and put on the "robe of doubt"?  The ratty, old, beat up covering which serves no other purpose than to keep us in our comfort zone. 

 

Wouldn't it be a wonderful way of starting our day to instead put on the "Robe of His Truth"?

To instead be excited as we go through our day.  Our eyes searching out eagerly for a glimpse of Him.  Our ears tuned into His frequency, so we know without doubt, it is His Voice we are hearing.  To drink in and taste what it is He has prepared for us at the "table of life".  To wrap our arms around and draw into our hearts, souls, minds, sharing The Love He is giving us through those He puts into our path.  To smell His fragrance in the sweet aroma of persons sacrificing self in order that He may be God in their lives.

To live each day with all senses overflowing with Him. 

Unfortunately, more often than not, we choose to continue wearing the "robe of doubt".  Making our way throughout the day enveloped in the fog of dread, anxiety, fear, anger, bitterness.  Crawling back under the covers at the end of the day, weary and overcome, by the weight of the world upon us. 

Why not live each day for Him.  Laying down at night,  going back over your day, falling asleep with a smile on your face, knowing He using you for His "Divine Appointments".  Falling asleep in anticipation for the next morning, eager to begin yet another day discovering more of His "Divine Appointments". 

 

 

"My Anchor" - 12/11/15 - Acts 27 -28

"But rocky shoals prevented us from getting close. We only managed to avoid them by throwing out drift anchors." (27:17)

The first, and probably most well known use, of the drift anchor is to aid vessels in heavy weather. A boat that is not kept bow- or stern-on to heavy seas can easily be rolled by the action of breaking waves. By attaching the drift anchor to a bridle running from bow to stern, the boat can be held at any angle relative to the wind. This is useful in sailboats in conditions too windy to use the sails to maintain a heading, and in motor vessels that are unable to make sufficient headway to maintain steerage.

One Season of The Battles is upon us. 

Christmas. 

For some, this season runs year long - shopping for next year beginning at the after Christmas sales.  Others, just before Thanksgiving - strategically planning their Black Friday attack.  And then there are those who scramble - Christmas Eve shopping, hoping to find something that doesn't resemble last minute shopping gifts. 

Christmas is just one of the seasons in which it is so easy to get caught up in the whirlwinds of living on this world.  The seas of life are deep and often times, overbearing.  There are times the waters look calm, beautiful in the sunset or sunrise, but underneath the surface, life is teeming about.  And then, there are times when the storms are producing waves that will break apart the ship you are in.  As they did the ship Paul was on, in these verses. 

I had never really thought about the importance of a "drift anchor", until ABBA brought this verse out to me this morning.  It's job isn't as a regular anchor, to hold the vessel stationary, but more as a brake.  It is also to keep the vessel from overturning, being swamped by the waters. 

How often is life such as this?  Where there are times ABBA has us stationary, resting, filling up, a preparing place, and then He pulls up anchor and away we sail.  From the verses read, Paul comes across with one important fact - there was much fear on the boat.  Fear of not doing.  Fear of death.  Fear of stepping out in faith, following a plan that seemed totally absurd.  ABBA instructed them to sit and wait.  On His time, His way and they would all be saved.  Not one life would be lost.

How often do we, in the storms, believe our way is the best?  When our faith isn't in the shipbuilder, but the ship itself?  ABBA provided for each of the men - non swimmers and swimmers both.  Those that were unable to swim, the planks from the ship were used to float to the beach.  How Awesome is that?  He knows we need to ride through the storms which will be a part of our lives, but He knows we need to do it His Way.  Not ours.  And He has provided a way for us to be safe "in" Him - our Savior. 

He knows we need to have the "drift anchors" attached to our lives.  The anchors which act as a brake when the seasons of the world whirl their way across us.  How easily it is to get caught up in keeping up with the standards of the world and forget His standards are the ones which matter.  The ones which last, are solid, are a foundation of Truth to stand on.  Our "drift anchors" are found in His Word, through the indwelling of The Holy Spirit within us, by accepting our Savior, by falling head over heels in love with our ABBA. 

Only then, the "rocky shoals" of the world, trying to prevent us from getting close to Him, become
nothing but an obstacle He is bigger than.  One He swims or floats with us around to the beach. 

 ^"At daybreak, no one recognized the land—but then they did notice a bay with a nice beach." (27:39)

In Him - there is always, always Daybreak after the storms.  Promise. 

"Each Day" - 12/10/15 - Acts 24-26

"But now, up on your feet - I have a job for you. I've handpicked you to be a servant and witness to what's happened today, and to what I am going to show you.      

"'I'm sending you off       

to open the eyes of the outsiders so they can see the difference between dark and light, and choose light, see the difference between Satan and God, and choose God. I'm sending you off to present My offer of sins forgiven, and a place in the family, inviting them into the company of those who begin real living by believing in Me.' (26:16-18)

 

 Another day He has blessed me with!  Another day closer to having our Nichalas/Amber home for a short time, celebrating the birth of our Savior as a complete family.  Another day to work with Curt and Adam.  Another day to be outside in His nature.

I pray I utilize this day, and all future ones, for His Glory.  I pray I will be a witness for Him in all I encounter.  Even those I am unaware of watching.  I pray when I am thought of - it is Him that comes into their mind quickly. 

I pray this life He has given me is bringing another closer to our ABBA.

Wherever He is sending you off to, I pray you may be His servant.
This day He has blessed you with!

 

 

"The Gift" - 12/09/15 - Acts 20:5-23

"Get up and get yourself baptized, scrubbed clean of those sins and personally acquainted with God."(22:16)

I am so thankful I am in Christ - scrubbed clean of all those sins. 

 For no matter how I try - I sin. 

It is with such thanksgiving I know His blood has set me free from eternal separation from God.
It is with such thanksgiving I have accepted His gift of my Savior.  His gift of eternal life.

I am so thankful I am intimate with Him.  To share in a relationship which grows each moment, each second, each breath I take. 

I love He is my Abba, my Daddy, my bestest friend. 
I love the life I gain from being in Him. 

It is the season of Christmas.  The season when we think of gifts.
I especially pray for others -  so they also will know The Gift.  The Gift of Him.

"His Seasons" - 12/08/15 - Romans 15-16

"so that I may come to you in joy by the will of God and find refreshing rest in your company, Now The God of peace be with you all.  Amen" (15:32-33)


Not a one. 

Not one single Christmas decoration has made its way from their storage boxes to be displayed about our home.  No matter how we try to contain it, right now, pretty much every surface of this home has a film of dry wall dust thick enough in some spots you could write your name.  We are finally on the downhill ride of remodeling our downstairs bath and any extra moment is being spent working on it.  Nichalas/Amber arrive the 20th and will be coming to stay in our home the day after Christmas.  It would be nice to have it at least usable by then.  If not, all will be okay.

I used to become so stressed out over Christmas.  "Superwoman" trying to do it ALL.  Totally missing the "reason for the season" and trying to create "the perfect one". 

It never was. 

There would be brunt cookies amongst dozens upon dozens of the edible.   Dinners would not be pulled out of the oven as guests pulled into the drive.  Nights would be falling into bed late and exhausted from all the "trying to squeeze in every moment visiting with every one".  And then due to the stress, fatigue, home being in disarray, instead of "Joy to the World" music, there was the yelling and screaming at the tops of our heads. 

Christmas used to be the holiday I most dreaded. 

Until I stopped. 

We started to make it all about Jesus.  The real reason of Christmas.  We cut back to three gifts each, representing the gifts to our Christ from the Wise Men.  We cut back on our visiting, instead each of us choosing ones who didn't have a full life of persons.  Taking them cookies, not burnt, and sitting for a spell to visit.  We began to play more board games, dinners were scaled back to soups, sandwiches, appetizers.  The house no longer was decorated in each and every corner, instead hitting only the high traffic spots. 

I read through the Scriptures this morning and He grabbed me at this verse
"so that I may come to you in joy by the will of God and find refreshing rest in your company, Now The God of peace be with you all.  Amen" (15:32-33)

Nichalas/Amber will soon begin traveling over 27 hours to make it home.  There are some who will drive only a short distance.  No matter - my prayer is all who come through our doors will feel "at home".  "Welcome".  I pray all will come "in joy", anticipating a time of being together in Love.  in Peace.  in Harmony.

And not only for the Christmas season.  For all seasons of this life.  I pray all will "find refreshing rest in my company".