Here's what: Trust in God. Lean on your God! (50:10)
There were many times during my past I was "groping in the dark". Searching. Trying to numb the pain through the arms of a man, fog of alcohol or drugs. And every time, I still came to in darkness. I was in the habit of leaning on the wrong things. Not trusting anyone or anything. Stumbling through life.
There was the moment in darkness when I was sitting on a window ledge nine stories up. Contemplating. The reality of falling wasn't on the agenda. Numerous times while driving. Contemplating. Not taking the curve ahead. The reality of a crash not there at all. I can recall many moments of darkness and even though I wasn't aware at the time -
He was there pulling me in. Into His Light.
Groping about in the dark I didn't know where I was going.
But still, I kept going.
From one patch of darkness to another.
Thankfully, even though I still struggle with the outstretched fingers of depression and sin, He has given me tools, which I use, and "we" overcome. I don't venture in the darkest of darkness as I used to. Most moments find me trusting and leaning on Him. My ABBA. My Daddy.
Throughout my days, I lift up to Him praise in getting me through another moment, escaping the anger, bitterness, jealousy, malice, sadness and depression. I give Him praise for helping me to focus upon His face. To delight in the blessings He rains down upon me. I praise Him for the peace within my heart. How much I love leaning and trusting in Him -
My cup runneth over.
No longer in darkness is where I am living life.
I am now completely basking in the Freedom of His Light.