"For Your Mercy is great above the heavens. And Your Truth reaches to the clouds."(108:4)
I can remember sitting across the room from them. She leaned back, crossed her arms, and said, "We knew you were wild in high school, but didn't know how wild". He said under his breath, but loud enough to be heard, "disgusting". I didn't say a word and she leaned forward telling me the name of the person who had given them the information.
The words running through my brain did not come out of my mouth. I sat and listened to the accusations without feeling the need to defend myself. There wasn't any reason to.
I knew at that moment, Mercy was not part of their agenda. The time they were referring to was over 35 years ago. Unlike then, I had been living a life, walking with my ABBA for almost 30. The person whom they named, was not known for being a truth speaker, yet I was not even questioned about the accusations. Along with no Mercy, there was no "benefit of doubt". They were and have chosen to see me through their eyes and nothing I have or will do is able to change that.
Nothing. Except my ABBA.
This happened almost three years ago and how I have struggled in the hurt to extend mercy and grace to them. To forgive and go on. There are often times when reading the Psalms I breath a sigh of relief. Many times the curses the psalmist wants to call down on his enemies seem very harsh and unforgiving. Only because of our Christ, I never came to this place of wanting any type of vengeance upon them. It is hard to understand how we should take this kind of language in the different Psalms, in the face of Christ's teaching about loving our enemies and doing good to those who hurt us.
However, two important points are clear: the psalmist left vengeance in the hand of The Lord, and he also clearly understood the reality of wickedness. We must remember that forgiveness is not saying, "It wasn't really bad." True forgiveness does not pretend that sin did not happen; it recognizes evil, and then releases the desire for vengeance into God's hands. God has promised that He will judge the wicked in the end.
How I rejoice in knowing I have such an ABBA. In knowing, no matter my sins. Or when they have and do occur. They are forgiven. I live life standing on and in His Truth. His Truth which has transformed my heart and given me such freedom.
In the end, it is only because of His Grace I will not be judged as "wicked". I became covered by The Blood of my Savior. From the moment I accepted Him into my heart. His gifts of Grace, Mercy and Forgiveness transform my heart, causing me to pray for "all" to have an intimacy with Him. And for some the prayers are from afar.
We are instructed no matter the actions of others, we must forgive. (This doesn't mean "forgetting" and subjecting yourself to the mistreatment.) Our ABBA knows, it is only through the forgiving of others, we then overcome feelings of anger, bitterness, or revenge. Forgiveness can heal spiritual wounds and bring the peace and love that only God can give. It enables us to view "all" through the eyes of our Savior. "All". Who are made in His image.
To the world, it totally doesn't make sense to be as Christ. They look upon this act as a weakness. In reality, it takes super God strength to forgive and extend mercy.