Numbers 11:1-13:33
The People fell to grumbling over their hard life. Moses "grumbled" to God. Miriam/Aaron talked about Moses and his wife.
And God heard.
He sent quail, fire, and leprosy for Miriam. (Why did Aaron get off again?) I wonder if when God called them out before Him, were they trembling? Were they even aware God knew what they had said?
How often am I so focused on self, my way, me, me, me - and think as I grumble, "He can't hear me". My grandma Dorothy used to say when we talk to ourselves we are really talking to the devil, as we say things we wouldn't say otherwise.
He does hear. And yet I still grumble and complain. Paul tells us, "to be thankful in all things". I try. I try to look and see others lives whose are far worse than mine. I try not to compare - to covet - to be jealous. And often, when life isn't fair, I grumble.
Because I have lost focus. When Moses grumbled to God about all the responsibilities. That he couldn't handle them all - God listened. God then provided Moses help. How often do I try and do it all and can not. God provides me help and I still say no - I will. And grumble about being stressed and overloaded.
I have a hard time letting go. The "power", control, doing things my way. Nichalas and Amber's rehearsal dinner we held here. There is no way I was going to get everything done. And God provided.
Our home was descended upon by our friends. They invaded! Washed windows, scrubbed floors, cabinets. One even scrubbed our toilets by hand after not being able to find my brush. (That is love.) We were invaded by love.
Not everything on "my list" was completed. In the end, that didn't matter. The funny thing is, most everyone was outside! And our friends made sure we enjoyed ourselves. Not once did someone come up and ask Curt or myself a question about what to do. They all took care of us. They made sure we were able to celebrate our children without any concerns.
Because He took care of us. Because we belong to His family. He surrounds us in love. Real love.
In these scriptures I have learned - STOP grumbling. He is listening. Focus on Him - not me. He is in control - and He loves me. I also learned - be careful what I ask for!
The quail were over three feet deep and as far out as a day's walk in every direction. (Num 11:31) Can you imagine! I need to let go and let Him. His way. His time. Not mine.
Watch my grumbling when I feel life isn't fair. Because it isn't. I need to keep my focus on Him and be thankful. In all things.
"God answered Moses, "So, do you think I can't take care of you? You'll see soon enough whether what I say happens for you or not." (Num 11:23)
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