My heart went out to her every Sunday morning. She was always sitting alone in the darkened place of worship, a hat pulled down low over her face, her body hidden away in the over sized hooded jacket. I didn't know her name, couldn't really see her face, but I knew how she felt.
Outside.
Not fitting in, but wanting to belong. Not really knowing what was "wrong" with her, but seeing the look in others eyes upon her approach, knew she had to be the "misfit".
She reminded me of myself.
It began during greeting by going up and introducing myself and learning her name. It was given in a whisper, her eyes never left the floor. Each week I made sure to go to her and say hello, calling her by name. One Sunday I knew ABBA wanted me to hug her. She didn't push me away nor did she melt into me. There were some Sunday's I would sit by her. Never did she show joy, acceptance. Her eyes had yet to meet mine.
I was driving the truck and hauling our mowers on the trailer behind me on the way to a job site when I happened to see her getting out of her truck and going up to a house. I stopped and yelled hello, using her name. Not having a clue who I was, I said, "Deby, from church" as she stood there looking at me. There was a smile as she gave a little wave to me.
Upon seeing her the next Sunday, she told me I had scared her. She didn't know who I was in the truck. We both laughed. I felt she was finally warming up to me.
And then, for a number of Sunday's I didn't see her on her usual side of the room. It was as though she was hiding from me across the way amongst the people. I began to draw back and give her space. I wondered to ABBA if she was beginning to think I was a stalker. Many a time I walked away feeling I had overstepped into her comfort zone, bumbled up an opportunity for ABBA.
Yesterday, I walked into the auditorium and the first face I saw was hers. She was looking me right in the eye and smiling a full out smile. She welcomed my embrace.
I'm not sharing this to brag. I haven't a clue as to why ABBA has used me to reach out to this young woman. I just know I am heeding His commands and trying to follow in His steps. The other thing I know is I was once that "misfit". There wasn't one who took the time to follow ABBA's lead, to give me welcome, until I was a new mom with Adam. Her name was Margaret. Her name was Diane. His name was Dick. His name was Thomas. Their names were His Servants. He uses each of us in His family to welcome in the "misfits". Each and every one of us are commanded to be a part of His welcoming committee.
Throughout the years there have been many moments in which the feeling like a "misfit" has came into my mind. I still fight it. And He still puts into my life and heart those who welcome me into His Family.
They are "you". His Beloved. My Family.
I pray each of His will know how welcome "you" have made me feel. That I am no longer a "misfit", but I belong. Thank you.
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