Thursday, June 30, 2005

Standing in line

There I am at 7:30 this am. Waiting for the doors to open at 8:00. No, not for the grand opening of some posh store, a garage sale, a movie or a restaurant. The drivers license facility.

Tags for my trailer expire tomorrow.

I remembered at 7:00am. It takes about 20 minutes to get there. You can use your imagination as to how I look. I did take time to brush my teeth and gargle. Told Adam I could skip that, breath on anyone already there, and I would be first in line. He raised his eyebrows at me, shook his head yes and muttered that I'd be stepping over dead bodies.

So, there I am. The sky is getting dark in the north and thunder is rumbling. Some person commented that we may be getting wet. I was hopeful. We are so dry - I don't care if it ruins my morning hair if it means moisture for the earth. I was also eavesdropping. Wasn't that hard as the lady way behind me was talking loud enough for all to hear. She was complaining that her husband had not taken the same days off as she had and that their teenage son would be home alone. Never said why this was a bad thing. She did tell that she informed him he would behave, he would not mess up anything and if he did - she'd wallop him so hard he couldn't see straight. She was dead serious.

I started thinking. Have I ever said that to my sons? The famous, "Do you want me to spank you?" (they always said, "no".) question, yes. The "Your grounded for a month", which once one actually was. But never have I said the wallop or beat you black and blue. I wondered if her way of communicating had anything to do with his problems. I know that there are many, many, times I have screwed up as a mom (and I still do). The Lord has kept control and I am blessed with two pretty awesome sons. We went through a time with Adam being disrespectful and mouthy. That was it though. No drinking, drugs, etc. When they said they were doing something, I never had to worry about the other stuff. When they had friends over to camp out, play paint ball, target shoot, etc., never had to be concerned about anything being snuck in. The friends they have are just as awesome and have become like sons too. Right now, Adam is in limbo as to what he wants to do with his life. His two best friends are starting off in a very successful beginning of a career and I know this is hard on him. The pressure of not knowing what he wants to do. Nichalas seems to have his plan on course. I don't know if it will pan out, but he is trying to establish goals and ideas.

While growing up, I was hardly ever home. I am thankful that Adam is able to be at home while trying to figure this all out. That he isn't lost, out in the world. I think back when I was Nichalas' age - 17. I was on my way to Chicago already. That was way too much, way too soon. I am thankful that God has blessed me in that the boys like to be home.

Back in line.

I love to watch people.

As we all are politely standing in line, I wondered how they would react if someone acted like they were a movie star or royalty and just decided to walk right up and place themselves in the front of the line. Ever feel like doing something to see what reaction you would get? Would they let you stay? Would the lady in back wallop you?

Have you ever thought about how God uses the same ingredients and we all come out so different? Some people may favor someone else - but God has a different pattern for each of us. How we stand, we walk, talk, act, think - all different. All completely something of our own. Isn't that mind blowing? Think about how many people He has created over time, all out of the same stuff.

So, they opened the doors, I got my tags and returned to our home.

Guess what - as I got into the house it started to rain, which lasted all of about 20 minutes.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Just to share

Tears of My Father, by Patrick D. Odum

When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son.
(Hosea 11:1)

By my reckoning, I've seen my father shed tears four times in my nearly-thirty-seven years.

It's not that Dad is distant or afraid of expressing emotions. He isn't. I guess tears just don't come easily for him. The first time I remember him weeping was twenty-five years ago now, at his mother's funeral. He cried at his father's funeral. And the first time he laid eyes on his grandson seven years ago, those eyes were brimming over with tears.

I said four times. The other time was my fault.

It was when I was in college, and my grade report came home. In those days I wasn't a very serious student. Let's just say there were lots of places in Searcy, Arkansas, that I knew better than the Harding University library. Actually, I hadn't been a very serious student for a lot of years before that, much to my parents' consternation. Report card time had long been an unhappy time in our house, and my grades had often provoked my dad's frustration and anger.
Never tears. Until that time.

I expected his usual disappointment with my performance. I expected the usual lecture about how I wasn't doing my best. I expected it and knew I deserved it. He would have been justified. But that's not what happened.

Instead, he teared up. He told me about his own lack of concentration and diligence in college, and told me that it hurt him to see me making the same mistakes he had made. Now, I can't honestly say that my grades or work habits improved much after that. I think the bad habits I had developed were a little too ingrained by then. But I can say he got my attention. I don't remember the lectures the other times I brought home bad grades. I don't remember the punishments too well. But, fifteen years or more later, I remember that conversation, I remember my dad's tears. And I remember that he shed those tears because of his love for me.

I don't think it's over-generalizing to say that when it comes to their kids, moms cry at the drop of a hat. On nearly any special occasion, you can count on a few tears from Mom. If their kids are hurt, or if their kids hurt them, mothers will shed some tears. But for most dads to cry, it takes something big. It takes strong feelings to coax tears from most dads.

If your dad weeps over you, it's because he loves you deeply.
Out of all the passages in the Bible that talk about God doing something, I couldn't find any that describe God weeping. Jesus is described as weeping twice: once at his friend Lazarus' tomb and once in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night of his arrest. But this absence of any reference to God's tears doesn't mean that God doesn't care about us. A lot of us need a revolution in this aspect of our understanding of God.

I'm afraid that too often Christians project an idea of God that makes him look like Mr. Spock from Star Trek: dispassionate, aloof, and coldly logical. We picture him sometimes as an observer, looking at our lives and our predicaments from something of a distance. He's interested, of course, but interested in the way a scientist is interested in a lab animal. Sometimes our words about God and our actions indicate that we don't think God has much connection with us. Oh, he provides us with the things we need. He watches over us. Cares for us. We believe he forgives our sins; we just sometimes seem to believe that he forgives grudgingly. We seem to doubt sometimes that he has any personal interest in us all.

And when we're not good? When we sin? Well, many of us imagine God with his arms crossed and his face set angrily. We picture him barely restraining himself from disowning us, or worse.

If that's your picture of God's feelings toward you, then look again at the book of Hosea. God is angry with his people. He's hurt by their unfaithfulness. He talks about how he's helped his people to walk, how he held them by the arms while they took their first toddling steps. When they fell and got hurt, he was there with a bandage. He was there to feed them, reassure them, comfort them -- and they forgot him.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Better sit down

Today was my third week of WWLPP!. I am so excited!

The result - (drum roll please)

minus .08! Do you realize that is half of a pound!

My friend celebrated with me by saying, "At least it's in the right direction".

Actually, I was surprised that I didn't gain.

This past week has been one of going out of town (Olive Garden), supper with my mom and brother (pizza), a house warming party (BBQ Pork chops, pasta salads, potato casserole, vegs), fishing results (fried bass, potato salad, baked beans) and oh yes, a bag of Hershey Kisses (a small bag)

Today though I am reformed and have started my week 4 of WWLPP! in a serious manner. Lunch today with my good friend (wonderful 2 1/2 hours) consisted of a salad. Mom just called and fishing is cancelled for tomorrow (too hot). She is coming down and helping me work in my gardens, dad will be out after his dentist appointment., they will stay in town for Curt and Adams ballgame at 6:00.

Oh yes, she said that we will all be going out to eat..............

Being the obedient daughter that I am, I will have to go.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

This blogging thing

Isn't it funny how our lives change from just corresponding with persons over the blog sites? How friendships develop, prayers are prayed for them, thinking about them off and on, whenever.

I'm thinking that this says something about our busy lifestyles. How people used to take time for each other. Just to get together, face to face. No special reason, just to visit. Spend time together. Making memories. Some good, some bad.

This blogging thing is really taking off for all ages. That is telling me that humans really need each other. No matter how many pets, hobbies, vices, addictions, etc. we have - we still need people.

In realizing this, I have decided to stop being so busy and start taking time to be with people. Tomorrow I am having lunch with a good friend that I have only talked to on the phone off and on for over two years. We live all of 20 minutes apart. Her sons are also my surrogate sons, so we have a lot to share. We have kept up with each other through our sons. It will be nice to actually be with her.

Thursday evening - I am going fishing with my mom. Haven't shared that with her for way too many years. I got my love for fishing from her, she from her dad. I can still remember him teaching me how to tie a knot for my hook.

My problem is that I love to be home, alone, working in my gardens. My problem is that I would much rather work than play. My problem is that already I am wanting to cancel and stay home on my days off. My problem is that these next two days will be enough time spent with persons to last another two months. My problem is that this is not how God designed me. Or you. He created us in His image. He desires to be with us. I need to be more like Him and desire to be with people. People that become family - sorta like my blogging thing has become.

I realize too, that the only way for me to grow outward in Him is to spend time with His children. So, starting tomorrow I begin to work on my problem. Please pray that I begin to make a habit of this weekly. To spend at least some time, face to face, with a person. There is so much I have to learn from His creation.

Add to your favorites

his entry today is one of my favorites.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Let's get excited........

Well, tonight was the end of week two weigh in for the WWLPP. Again, it was very hard driving by the tavern and not stopping in for the Jumbo Tenderloin.

One day.

I know that I am not supposed to reward myself with food, but I am not into jewelry, clothes, stuff, etc. And after living in Texas for almost nine years - where they don't have tenderloin - I know that it is okay to have one for a reward.

Almost convinced myself of this without any guilt.

I do want to share one of the best secrets of Quincy. The Ayerco at 24th & State - soft serve, low fat ice cream. You serve yourself. Make that baby as big as you want. Although if you go too big they may charge a little more than the 40 cents (not that I would know anything about this first hand). And it is only two points!!!!!

Okay, maybe three if you really pile it on.

WWLPP results - 3.2 pounds that means a total of - 5.4

Only six more months to go!!!!

I am still praying for that -20 in one week for about 3 weeks in a row.
miracles can happen!

Fabulous Fun Fridays

I got this from a blog site I visit and think it sounds like fun.

Let me know if you are participating, please do.

a meme n (mëm): is an idea that is shared and passed from blog to blog, like a question posted in one blog and answered in many other blogs.

I thought it would be fun to post a challenge, photo assignment or question each Monday (assignment day).

Then we could post our answers on (under links to the right)

each Friday so that we could all share together with each other.

"How much closer we'd all be if we stopped long enough to honor one another in a circle of show-and-tell. If we listened to one another's stories, looked at each other's creations. We're all hungry for community. We need more ways to connect. Adults still need show-and-tell. Literally." -Pam Grout "Art & Soul"


This week [June 12th] I am borrowing an upcoming question to be answered on "Fabulous Fun Friday". It is:

10 Things You Wish You Knew When You Were in High School

Thursday, June 09, 2005


Yesterday I went back after my first week of WWLPP! . How do you get excited over a 2.2 pound loss. When my goal equals the weight of a medium size child, I sigh at the realization of what is left after deducting the 2.2 pounds. Is it completely unreasonable to expect minus 20 pounds instead? (I know it isn't but one can always dream.)

Which brings me to now.

I am struggling this morning with a strong case of envy.

Last night as I dreamt, my friend Loretta made her way into my dream world.

I was at a wedding, whose I haven't a clue, and she just came walking up to me.

Smiling, happy as all get out, we hugged, and said we were glad to see each other. She may have been glad to see me but, I was struggling inside with deep down anger.

You see, she looked fantastic. (Not that she doesn't for real.)

As she held her arms out to her sides, and turned back and forth, it was oh so evident -

When asked by me, she replied, "Yes, I have lost 40 pounds in just these past two weeks. All I did was cut back a little and take in some walking."

Loretta - if this dream has come true - please find it within yourself not to let me know. Wear extra padding and large clothes when in my company - think of the movie Shallow Hal. I am trying to be a good Christian woman and envy is a sin. 1 Corinthians 8:9.

Monday, June 06, 2005


First off - thanks for the comments. Even though I so look forward to what others comment, I do have a life that doesn't center around blogging - barely! Does anyone else feel like this?

I really enjoyed the ones who revealed their "first kiss" experience. There are two that threw out enough info to get my attention - I am waiting!

And in response to my pictures. Yes, I am so blessed with the location of our home. The home is a two story farm house, surrounded by out buildings, which need a lot of work. I guess if I quit my day job everything would be as I want it - but then I would be broke - so then again maybe it wouldn't.

I enjoy working outside far more than inside. This is my favorite time of year to create and tend to my gardens. So far, many of the plants I ordered are beginning to take off and some are even going to bloom. Many of the bulbs I planted didn't do anything - but they are guaranteed until I stop gardening - so I will just order replacements. We do have mosquito's after the sun goes down. Not too bad. If you put OFF on, they pretty well leave you alone. When we have get togethers, Curt will spray the trees, lawn, etc. and that keeps all bugs away for up to a week.

We love using this place for the Lord. The sounds I most often hear are the birds, frogs, dogs, occasional car/truck and mostly the voices of the boys and their friends. They love to play flashlight tag, kick the can, camp out, do Olympic game events, fireworks, campfire, hot dog roast, hang around.

I really struggle with the fact that a subdivision will be to the east sooner than later. The boundary line is 20 feet from the side of our house. We are praying that our finances get in order and the asking price for a home on the bluffs, which I like, will go down. If this all falls into place, then we will probably move about 10 minutes south of here. Both of us being raised on farms has made us really not want any close neighbors. We've tried city life and it isn't for us. Quincy really is a beautiful area, right on the Mississippi. There are flat areas, bluffs, swamps, a good place to raise kids.

By the way - there is someone who I am still looking for your blog! You know who I mean. Thanks for a fun time Sunday. We would really like to get together as couples sometime.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

The end of our drive.

I am taking this while standing below my unders on the line. Posted by Hello

Future subdivision

yes, my laundry is safe from prying eyes.
For now.Posted by Hello
my morning view Posted by Hello

First Kiss

It was our first date. We were laying on his living room floor, side by side, elbows barely touching, watching TV. It was so hot and he didn't have air conditioning. Sweat was dripping off him and he was so embarrassed by that. We were pretending to watch TV, pretending that exchanging chit chat was what we wanted to do but really, all we wanted to do was kiss.

He was so shy, unsure, as was I. There was just something there that had never been there for me before. Something about this guy - this guy that numerous people had been trying to set me up with for two years and I just wasn't interested. This guy that I looked at and my heart would flip. This guy who was so good looking, what a smile.

And then he kissed me.

And today, 23 years later.........................

We don't kiss because he chews tobacco.

I was thinking that Curt is the only guy I remember my first kiss with - except for my "first kiss".

I was all of 7 and we were playing hide and go seek. We decided that we would hide under the blanket on the front porch. (I was raised during a time when kids were innocent.) He was a year younger. He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek.

In All Cases.........

What Then?, by Gene Vance

When you are really stressed, what then?

I again sat in the airplane on my way to my next destination. While winging my way through the blue skies, I observed a young mother and father caring for their three children. Youngest of this family was about 6 to 9 months old: he began crying. Dad was holding the child, yet the cries immediately attracted Mom's attention. Dad checked for a wet or smelly diaper, but all was fine. He then attempted to offer his son a pacifier and then a bottle of liquid looking like formula, but to no avail. This infant needed something else.

Mom gazed quickly at her other children, then shifted her attention as she held out her arms to take the crying child. She received the child and held him near. This precious young person stopped crying within about 3 seconds after being held near to the mother.

Was it the pattern of her heartbeat to which he had been so near for nearly 9 months; this beat that pumped nourishment and supplied all his sustenance?

Was it the gentle, soothing words spoken by the parent who loved him so dearly?

Was it the soft touch of the mother's hand, her perfume, or something else that comforted him?

As Dad appeared mystified by the instant change, my thoughts turned to me. When I am frightened, anxious, or have been wronged and hurt by those in the world, I do not hesitate to cry to the one who sustains me. If the unsettling state continues long enough, I share it with my friends, and like the Dad, they attempt to do all they know to comfort me. Yet most times, this doesn't help nearly enough. It is only when I draw near to the one who gave me life that I find my concerns are eased. When I read the words my Creator and Savior left for me, and I pray to him, I sense a greater closeness to the one who provided rebirth and continuing sustenance for my life. Only when I look to God and allow him to draw me closer to him, am I able to gain needed comfort from the Holy Spirit.

Whenever we call out to God, he is ready and willing to take the time to provide for the needs of his children in ways better than we could ever imagine.

Peter said it well so long ago: "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

Thursday, June 02, 2005


Well, I have done it. After almost three months - working outside very hard - watching what I eat - only to step on the scales and see that 2 pounds are no longer - yesterday at noon, I joined Weight Watchers - again.

I hate the word DIET. It makes me think of food. Food that I usually don't think about when I am not on a diet. Go figure. So to fool myself - I am officially on the WWLPP!. That would be Weight Watchers Lost Pounds Program!. I think it sounds more interesting and official.

We'll see how it works - this fooling myself.

So far, not so good. Last night I broke down and ate a Jumbo, not regular, Tenderloin w/bun and Texas Toothpicks. I had driven by the tavern at 1638 State on my way to WWLPP! and couldn't get it outa my mind. (The tenderloin - not the tavern.)

While I am beating myself up over my "last meal", I did do one of the WWLPP! recommended steps - "leave a little food on your plate".

I left some of the two serving size portion of Texas Toothpicks.