Friday, May 31, 2013

"Listen" - 04/22/13 - 2 Samuel 5:1-6:11, 1 Chronicles 3:4, 11:1-9, 12:23-40, 13:1-14, 14:1-2, 8-17

"When you hear a sound like shuffling feet in the tops of the balsams, attack; God will be two steps ahead of you" (1 Chronicles 14:15)

This is one of my favorite verses.  He has given me such a gift in being able to visualize word pictures and each time I read this, I stand amazed.  In my mind I can see His army standing at the ready, silent, waiting, for the sound of shuffling feet.  No rams horn, no clanging cymbals, no shout out, but the sound like shuffling feet. 

They had to be listening closely, attentively, totally focused on Him and recognize His sound.  Throughout Scripture there are so many incidents where His ways of war seem so far out there.  So impossible that the only way winning was possible, was only because of Him.  There are times during the spiritual warfare, the battle plan seems to be opposite of what I feel is the right defense tactic.  

Trust.  Faith.  Focus.

He is in control. 

“Listen for the sound like shuffling feet.”

"Fan or Follower" - 04/21/13 - 2 Samuel 3:6-4:12

Everyone at the funeral took notice—and liked what they saw.  (3:36)


Things people say at funerals, sometimes, I just shake my head in bewilderment. 

“They look so good!”  And Curt would say, “Good?  They’re dead!!”

In the spiritual warfare, I have a funeral every moment - of self. 
Each and every second I am fighting to satisfy what I want, rather than His way.  My mind battles to be focused on “Good and pure thoughts”,  We are watched all the time by someone.  At times we are aware, but then there are times we find out later, unknown, someone was watching.  Do people seeing the transformation God has done with me, the dying to self, do they like what they see.  Do they see God in me? 

Am I a fan or a follower?

In growing more and more intimate with Him, I find that being a “follower” will cause division.  There will be some that will attack the way you are now “marching”, because it isn’t their way.  As of late, I am finding that creating healthy boundaries is part of becoming a follower.  My reaction to evil is revulsion and to depart from it.  Thankfully, in transforming my heart, I do not consider it an insult when someone attacks my “Christianity”.  As long as I am able to back my actions, my words, my heart on His Word, I know I am a follower. 

There were so many in Scripture, who were divided because they were a follower.  Abba tells us it isn’t only with strangers we will become divided from, but also those who are close to us.  Some of whom we call family. 

As a follower, what are my fruits?  Am I responding to the attacks with love, truth, kindness, gentleness or anger, self-righteousness, lies, haughty eyes?   Is my heart broken because of the division or am I focused on revenge? 

At the funeral to self, does my Abba like what He sees?

"Stirring the Pot" - 04/20/13 - 2 Samuel 2:1-3:5, 23:8-39, I Chronicles 3:1-4, 11:10-47

"Abner called out to Joab, “Are we going to keep killing each other till doomsday? Don’t you know that nothing but bitterness will come from this? How long before you call off your men from chasing their brothers?”   “As God lives,” said Joab, “if you hadn’t spoken up, we’d have kept up the chase until morning!” Then he blew the ram’s horn trumpet and the whole army of Judah stopped in its tracks. They quit chasing Israel and called off the fighting."  (2 Samuel 2:26-28)

Our Abba, He grieves beyond our wildest imagination when His family is torn apart.  satan who enjoys nothing more than sitting back, watching the destruction, occasionally stirring the pot.  At what point is it, in which we have taken a person and dehumanized them?  To the point of not loving them, not forgiving them, hating them?  How is it that we come to the place where we want nothing more than to "kill" them? 

When we take the focus off of Him.  When we stop seeing life as spiritual warfare and take everything personal.  When it becomes all about "me" and not Him.  My way and not His. 

He tells us, "Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet" (Matthew 10:14).  Notice - He doesn't instruct us to hate or not forgive.  Just to "shake the dust off your feet".  It may be we are not the ones to reach these particular ones for Him - reminder - He has a huge family!  We are to continue to love them as Christ, to Christ, and pray for them.  Not be caught up in thoughts of revenge, defense, anger, or bitterness.  Those thoughts are doing nothing, but burdening and darkening your soul.  Most likely, the person or persons you are obsessed with, are not even thinking about you.  (I know, how could they not??  Focus on Him, not self.) 

Be the Warrior and Vessel for Him that defies the act of destruction.  Continue to pray for them.  God is bigger than anything and in control of all situations.  It may be a person will never accept His ways, their hearts may remain hard, but do not let yours become the same.  Hate only the act of sin - not the sinner. 

This instruction may sound arrogant, but it is so we don't get sucked into the middle of a tornado of destruction.  There are times we "need" to separate ourselves, when we stand in/on His Truth, from those who do not.  Before we do not see everyone, each one of us, are created in His image.  Everyone, each one of us, He loves and desires to be His.  Everyone, each one of us, He gave His only Son so we may have eternal life.

Everyone, each one of us.

It is also so we do not have the mindset of "killing" others, who He desires to be a part of His family.  We may have to separate, denying the temptation to fall into bitter feelings or animosity towards someone.  So we may leave with peace in our heart and mind and do not take any resentment towards others with us.  In other words, we are not to take anger, hurt, blame, or regret with us when we "shake the dust".   

We may be tempted to be upset when we are rejected, falsely accused or blamed.  We are to leave it there and move on, praying that God will send someone in who does help them see His Truth.  Praying too, that we continue to see His Truth, stand firm in/on it.  To resist the urge of allowing "self" to interject our own twist to His Truth.  Staying firm in His Word daily.  Drinking it in, allowing it to consume our heart, mind, and soul.

No matter how much satan continues to stir the pot, adding his own special ingredients of destruction, we are to leave all thoughts of ill feeling behind and move forward with God's peace in our hearts and mind.  It isn't our responsibility for how a person responds.  It is our responsibility for how "we" respond, not allowing their negativity to remove our focus off of Him or to weigh us down. 

Shake the dust and move on. 

Move on to His next Divine Appointment. 

Focus on His face.  Focus on the many, many blessings He showers upon you, fortifying you. 

Focus on that this is a spiritual battle and we will have times of hurt. 

Focus on the end of your journey and eternal home. 


Tuesday, May 21, 2013

"Sin or the Sinner" - 04/19/13 - I Samuel 30:1-31:13, 2 Samuel, 1:1-27, 4:4, 1 Chronicles 9:40-44, 10:1-14, 12:20-22

 “Families don’t do this sort of thing!" (1 Samuel 30:23)

The bombings in Boston have, again, shown us that even though evil is alive, raging throughout this world, there is still His goodness abounding.  I keep hearing  what  someone has said. "the heroes rushed in, from where the others were rushing out".   My heart breaks for those that are victims of this senselessness - this evil.  My heart breaks for the bombers, who are so lost outside of Christ, following the lies of the world and of satan.  Reports are out that the Westboro "church" is planning to picket the funerals, saying that the bombs went off because of the gay marriage the state supports.  There is division brought about because of the wars, politics,  our rights, taxes, free speech, entitlement and all the other issues that occur in living. 

My mind keeps thinking about Christ. 

He too had controversy and division while He walked upon this earth.  Solomon tells us there is nothing new under the sun.  Nothing.  Everything that we experience has already happened, sometime and somewhere. 

Christ tells us that we are to be gentle like a dove and sly like a snake, when dealing with the enemy. 

We are to love others to Him. 

The greatest example for me to follow - is my Christ. 

Christ never took anything - anything  - that He was abused with, personally.  His whole life, all of His actions, His whole being - was all about God and the battle against sin.

She wasn't our Christ but, I do think about Mother Theresa.  What a woman of God.  Like Christ, she set aside herself to love others to Him.  She sacrificed herself to be a servant.  As Christ stood up for what is Truth,  He attacked the sin, not the sinner, as she did and we are to also. 

We are to hate the sin, and love the sinner.

Throughout His Word, He gives us the healthy and unhealthy pictures of family.  As a Christ follower, I am part of "His" family that covers this world.  We are to stand up for Truth, but not in a way that takes focus off of Him and onto ourselves.  Christ said that He came into this world to divide.  To divide us from sin.  Unfortunately, some will make the free choice to stay in sin and they will not be part of "His" family. 

After 9/11, it seemed as though our country was banding together and bonding "in" Him.  The tragedy of these attacks caused many to put their hope back into God, to reach out and seek strength and comfort from "His family". 

And The Church family responded. 

As "His" true family always does. 

In love.

I am so thankful that we have raised our sons in unconditional love.  They know without a doubt we will never not love them.  No matter what.   Within our family unit, our core is God.  Because of that, we all feel safe, honored, blessed, cherished and treasured with one another.  We also hold each other accountable, but always based on His measuring stick and in love.  Always.  Our own selfishness,  doesn't block out Him, nor do we manipulate or dictate. There aren't any double standards.

That is how "His" family, The Church, is to be.  We are not to be so caught up with sin that we forget whose we are.  If we do, it becomes about us and not God.  It is always to be about grasping the lost into Him. 

If we are not like Christ, then people will not want to be a part of Him.

"His" Family. 

The Church.

Not being as Christ will only cause them to think,
                                                                             “Families don’t do this sort of thing!"

"Who Will Go?" - 04/18/13 - I Samuel 26:1-29:11, I Chronicles 12:1-19, Psalm 56

“Who will go down with me and enter Saul’s camp?”

Abishai whispered, “I’ll go with you.” (ISamuel 26:6)

"David took the spear and water jug that were right beside Saul’s head, and they slipped away. Not a soul saw. Not a soul knew. No one woke up! They all slept through the whole thing. A blanket of deep sleep from God had fallen on them." (I Samuel 26:12)

How brave are you?  How often do you go into the enemy camp with the intent to be a Warrior for God? 

It is different when you walk in the enemy camp to take pleasures, sample the wares, even live there amongst the enemy.  As the Israelites did, instead of destroying  the entire enemy.  And then the ways of the enemy become part of you. 

Sometimes, when I am reading David’s words, I am fearful of the power of his prayers to God in dealing with his enemies.  Is there anyone in the world that I would want God to inflict all David requested?  There are some that I do not want in my life, and I pray for them, but not to be destroyed.  The only things that I pray for total destruction are satan and his demons to be - soon.   God is enabling me, through His Spirit, to love all.  I struggle with “liking” all, but am getting there in the love part! 
Only through Him. 

How often do I temporally, intentionally put myself into the enemy camp for the sole purpose of grasping those there from the grip of evil?   How often am I more content to stay in my comfort zone and “pray” about it?  How often am I too busy for the Divine Appointments that He has set up for me?  Or too selfish?  Or lazy? 

I am under His protection when I am living “in” His covenant.  He doesn’t send me into the enemy camp alone.  I am fortified, not only by Him, but also His family and His Armor.  Armor I have to put on.  In the study of His Armor, His spear is His Word.  His Word is our defensive weapon that He gives us to use.  Not muscle or might, but His Word. 

And when He asks - Is your reply, “I’ll go with you.”

Sunday, May 19, 2013

"My Silence" - 04/17/13 - I Samuel 23:13 - 25:44, Psalm 54

“When God completes all the goodness He has promised my master and sets you up as prince over Israel, my master will not have this dead weight in his heart, the guilt of an avenging murder. And when God has worked things for good for my master, remember me.” (1 Samuel 25:30-31)

How easily it would be to slip into the routine of "getting even".

 Instead of turning it over to God. 

 This verse opened my eyes to why God commands that He is to seek revenge, not us. 

The guilt.

Being attacked, taken advantage of, being treated as "less than", double standards, all these and more, Christ endured.  More than I will ever comprehend, and still He turned the other cheek. 

God turned more than that.  He turned His back on His Son, my Savior. 

So, when I am 'wronged", shouldn't it be easy to turn it over to God?  If my focus is on Him, only then is it possible.  Otherwise, I am all about "me".  My way.  My revenge.  It is only through Him that I am able to keep my mouth shut, when words that slay, want to pour out.  Words that once spoken, cannot be retracted.  I stand amazed at the times I have spiritually seen Him, standing there in front of me with His Hand held up to hold me back.  Telling me that He has my back and He will take care of the situation.  In my silence, His Words are loud and clear.  Our world and self has led us to believe that if we are silent, we will be walked on.  We will be treated as though we are stupid.  In actuality, we are stupid when we do spout off at the mouth. 

In my walk of faith and trust, I have to rely on His time and His way.  And some of those times, it doesn’t make sense to be silent.

As God sent Abigail, He sent us Christ, to intervene, to take from us the guilt we would put upon ourselves when avenging.  Let Him take care of it.  We have more important things to concentrate on.  Loving Him and making Disciples.  Making our way Home through our journey in life.  A life with less stress, more joy.

No “dead weight in my heart”. 

Saturday, May 04, 2013

"Shower" - 04/16/13 - I Samuel 22:1- 23:12, Psalm 57, 142, 52, I Chronicles 12:8-18

"Your people will form a circle around me
    and you’ll bring me showers of blessing!” (Psalms 142:7)

Our phone rang early this morning.

My dear friend is again in the hospital.  Depression is her enemy, which we are praying she will be released from.  I have faith that God does and will move mountains.

I have seen Him do so in my life.

All my life, I too, have fought the evil giant named Depression.  Through hours of therapy and meds, I am finally able to live a "normal" life.  There are certain "exercises" I have to do when I feel the fingers of depression grabbing at me, trying to pull me down.  Thankfully, my Curt is here to support and encourage me.  He knows the signs and acts upon them.  He doesn't bully, shame, or guilt me, but he does love, encourage, and stand by me. 

If I had my way, I would never leave my home.  I am very content to stay here and never have to get out and interact with people.  I am a true introvert - married to an extrovert.  How I love that God put us together and we balance each other out!  Curt knows when I need to get out and about people.  He is here to tell me that he can see signs of my becoming focused on "self" and how to change my focus.  Be it getting out in public, working in the yard, cooking, having people over.  He will suggest and I follow his lead.  Because I trust him.

Since I was out of high school, I have had the tools of therapy and meds.  For the past 31 years, I have had my helpmate in Curt.  These were helping me to cope, but not to rise above the depression.  Every day was a battle to climb out of the deep pit it put me into.  Through my growth "in" Him, He had me see that I needed to add the most powerful tool I could obtain. 

His Word. 

Not just a study here and there, church on Sundays, but each and every single day.  I needed to get into His Word and put it into my heart.  It is the weapon that wraps everything up and causes the meds, therapy to conquer.  I am so thankful that He has had these meds created, but they weren't working on their own.  Through His Word, He has also given me the blessing of belonging to His family.  

For the past five years, we have met almost every Wednesday night for a Bible Study.  These persons,  and others in His family, have become ones who have " formed a circle around me", living life with me.   Through His Word and His family, I am able to put my foot on the head of Depression, my upturned face being covered with " showers of blessing" drinking Him in!  The blessings that come from Depression lifting, feeling  young, free, and most of all - alive!  How His Showers save and revive me.

This is my prayer for my friend. 

I pray that she will take the tools and weapons He has given her and she will use them.  So many times, in our relationship, I feel like I am leading her to the Living Waters and she is choosing not to drink.  His time, His way.  Yet, my heart breaks in knowing the darkness she is living in.  Having been there, I so, so want her to be free of that. 

I am thankful He is having His family "form a circle around her". 

I am praying that she will lift up her face to receive His "showers of blessings".

Drinking Him in.

"LOVE" - 04/15/13 - I Samuel 20:1-21:15, Psalm 34

"He loved David more than his own soul!" (1 Samuel 20:17)

Paul tells us that he would give up his own soul, if it meant that the lost would be saved. 

That. is. love.

When I think about myself doing that, there are names that come up immediately.  They are names of those that I am in love with.  They are not strangers, but a part of my life and my heart.  Two of them are partly made up of my genes. 

Without a doubt, without hesitation - I would give up my own soul for them. 

Thankfully, I know that their souls already belong to our Abba. 

Jonathan loved David as I do these ones I instantly think of.   He was at a Y in the road and had to make a decision of whom to follow - his father or his brother, David.  Although David wasn't his blood brother, he was his brother in God.  Jonathan, took the road to walk with David towards their Abba.  He chose the road that would cause him to leave his earthly father. 

He did this for someone he loved and loved him back.

Paul was offering his own soul for the lost.  Those that didn't know him, nor he them.  He was so in love with his Abba, he wanted others to experience this true, Holy, and life changing gift.  The same gift that Jonathan chose. 

As did our precious Savior. 

He gave up His life for me.  for you.  for us.  for those that nailed Him on The Cross.  for those that spit in His face.  for those that walked/walk away from Him.  for those that are vessels for satan. 

for those that are lost.

for all.

I am ashamed that I would hesitate.  I am thankful that He is transforming my heart so I am seeing others through His eyes.  I am blessed that He is enabling me to love the unlovely.  To have sorrow and pray for them in love. 

But still, I would hesitate to give up my own soul for them. 

We are to strive to be Christlike - and I am striving.  I acknowledge my weaknesses and am turning them over to Him. 

But still, I am selfish.

I so love my Daddy.  I so love being with Him.  I so, so love being His.  After being one of the lost, living in the world of sin, I can not express how much I love being in His world.  I am so thankful to be walking in His light, instead of the darkness anymore.  I so love being in the palm of His hand, crawling up into His lap at anytime, sharing life with Him, living for Him. 

I pray that He continues to grow my heart so I may love as He does. 

To love all others, more than my own soul.

That He takes from me the selfishness of my being His, so I may want others to be His even more.

All others.

"Training" - 04/14/13 - 1 Samuel 17:32-19:24, Psalm 59

"God, who delivered me from the teeth of the lion and the claws of the bear, will deliver me from this Philistine.” (17:37)

He delivers us through the lions and bears, to prepare us for the giants.  As I am looking back, each battle I have fought seemed like a giant.  Hind site shows me it was only a lion or a bear.  Not to be taken lightly, it was training.  Training for me to be dependent on Him.

I am ashamed of the times when facing a "giant", I allow fear to dictate my actions.  I stand and use my own fighting techniques, which is futile.  Or, I turn and run back, allowing myself to become captured and controlled by the "giant". 

I am ashamed in my lack of Trust in Him, even after all the "giants" He has delivered me from. 

Through growing more intimate with Him, I am learning to stand in faith and follow His lead.  Follow His way and sometimes standing back and letting Him fight the "giant". 

It is in His Word I gain so much wisdom and strength.  Through the account of David, coming up against Goliath, I see fear wasn't even in the picture.  David had "Godfidence".  He acknowledged and stood firm on his prior training from the "giants" God had already delivered him from. 

With each step I take closer in my Abba, the giants are falling away. 

With only a small stone David killed Goliath. 

My Abba is much bigger than any small stone. 

And any giant. 

"Fool" - 04/13/13 - 1 Samuel 15:1-17:31

God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.” (16:7)

"You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."

There are some persons in this world, who have to go to bed each night exhausted.   It is very hard for me to imagine living a life of total pretense of who you are projecting to the world, from who you really are.  Some of them are quite adapt of fooling others.  They manipulate, cover up their lies, play the blame game, bullying their way through.  Life is all about them and what they are able to get out of it for themselves.  They usually don't care who they have to chew up and discard in the process. 
The world's measuring stick is all about "self".  We live in a society where "who" you are, not "whose", is the statuesque.  Think about the questions usually asked upon meeting someone.  "What do you do?",  "Oh, are you related/know who.....?",  "Where do you live?",  "Who is your nanny, housekeeper, groundskeeper?",  "Which country club do you belong to?",  "You are friends with......?" 
And if you have the right answers - you have a new "friend". 
Then think about the different reactions you receive, when it is obvious that you are a Christian.  Some persons are okay with that, others run the opposite direction.  And some will ask the same questions as before - "which church do you belong to?",  etc. 
We all fall victim to the world's measuring stick at some time or the other.  I am constantly reminding myself "whose" I am, not "who". 

Particularly in times of sharing company with persons who are bullies.  The times when I am the only one in the room who isn't on board with the bully and their puppets.  The times when I am attacked and told I am in the wrong. 
I know that I am not to judge where a persons soul is going, but I am able to judge their fruits.  It is through their fruits that we know their hearts.  And the truth does and will prevail. 
Sometimes the evidence of fruit comes out right away and others it may take years, even generations.  That is why it is in God's hands to seek vengeance, revenge.  He is bigger and in total control.  And those of us who are His, we are safe. 
From anything. 
The windows are the eyes to the soul.  If you stop and look closely, if you really listen, and watch - a persons heart - it isn't hidden.  They may think it is, but through their actions, choices, and life - you are able to see their heart. 
Still we are not to judge their hearts - only their fruits. 
We are to pray and love those stone cold hearts.
Love them to Christ. 

Friday, May 03, 2013

"His or Mine" - 04/12/13 - I Chronicles 9:35-39, I Samuel 13:1-14:52

"And all because you didn’t keep your appointment with God!” (1 Samuel 13:14)

This past week in Bible Study, we were discussing about how life can rob us of peace if we allow it.  This led to the way life can rob us of so much, if our focus isn't on Him.  Barbara said, "she didn't want to miss God."

Her comment hasn't left my thoughts.

Divine Appointments.

God has them lined up for me each and every day.

Whose appointment book am I living by - His or mine?

How often am I in such a rush to keep my agenda, that I miss out completely who or what He has set up for me that day.   Christ went away, in the early morning, to be with our Abba.  Throughout His Word He tells us to dig into it, consume it, make it part of our heart, our life, our being.  This isn't done unless we schedule in "ink" to be in His Word every day.  I think about how we are able to "pencil" in weddings, funerals, doctor appointments, lunches, etc., yet we are sometimes even unable to "pencil" in an appointment with Him every day. 

During the past few years, I strive to meet with Him first thing every morning.  It isn't often that I miss our time together, going over His Love Letter to me.  He gives me the needed verses I am to carry with me throughout the day.  This time with Him isn't a habit, it is an essential part of my life.  Those times that our meeting is pushed to later in the day, messes up my focus.  Thankfully, His Word is powerful and alive, which keeps me going until our time together later in the day. 

But, how different my day goes when He and I meet first thing.  My day begins totally focused on and in Him.  I find myself eagerly awaiting my "Divine Appointments". 


It is with excitement when I recognize I am in the middle of His appointment and think about how long He has had this planned.  How He has grown me to this time and place.  Prepared me to be a vessel for Him in this appointment.  Then there are the times I come away blessed and filled, because I needed to be with the person or place He set up for me.  I needed to draw living water, encouragement, accountability, reinforcement, essential tools He knew I needed at that appointment.

Barbara's words - "I don't want to miss God". 

I don't. 

I do not want to be so busy with my way, my time, focused on me, the mundane things of life that really don't matter, that I miss His beauty walking right by me.  I do not want to break His heart because He is waiting for me to make our appointment.

I do not want to be like five of the ten virgins who were not prepared to meet their groom.  I do not want to be as they were - gone - because they had to run and get more oil.  I want to live my life looking through Christ eyes and ready for my Divine Appointments.  Yes, I will miss some, but it is a goal I have set for my life.  I know that the only way it will occur is when I set "in ink" my daily appointment with and in Him. 

In His Word, in constant prayer - "In" Him.

I do not want to miss God.

The biggest part that blows my mind in our first thing in the morning "Divine Appointment"  -  He desires, looks forward, wipes His appointment book clean, to be


I am one of His Divine Appointments! 

"My "self" - 04/11/13 - I Samuel 9:1:12:25

"Saul said, “If we go, what do we have to give him? There’s no more bread in our sacks. We’ve nothing to bring as a gift to the holy man. Do we have anything else?”  The servant spoke up, “Look, I just happen to have this silver coin! I’ll give it to the holy man and he’ll tell us how to proceed!”  (9:7-9)

What do I have to give Him - my Abba?

Looking into my heart, I see, I too had nothing to bring as a gift for Him.  Even after eating my fill of the bread of the world, my life was an empty sack.

 It may be that I "just happened to have a silver coin".  Something the world claims has value, but in God was nothing. 

No matter how much silver I may have had, I was unable to make my way into Him.  Not by works, bartering, boasting, nor is there any sneaking "into" Him. 

What gift could I give to Him?

How humbled I am to think that the Creator of all - My Abba, My Daddy -  wanted only one thing from me - my "self". 

Even more humbling is the thought that my starved "self" would only come before Him, wrapped in the ugly, filthy, stench scented, rags of sin.

How my heart filled seeing the joy and delight He took in taking the present of my "self".  How He held my "self", this dirty, ugly wrapped gift,  as a most precious treasure.  He never turned away, trying to draw in a fresh breath of air, as the stench rose up to His nose.  He gently, firmly, carefully, unwrapped my "self" and then -

He smiled.  

He dipped me into My Savior's blood, His precious Son, to cleanse me and make me pure and holy.  He clothed me in the beautiful silks of The Holy Spirit.  He fed me the meat of His Word - His Truth.

My "self" is His most precious treasure.

When I think about how long it took me to realize and act upon this, my eyes tear at the wasted time spent away from Him.  All those years I walked in the world, focused on myself, trying to fill myself up in all ways possible, and still I was empty. 

The world is all about taking for self. 

And then there is God's way. 

A way that only makes sense if you are "in" Him.  His way is about giving.  Giving up "self" - to Him.  Giving up "self" - to be a vessel for Him.  Giving up "self" - to give blessings to those you encounter.  Even when it brings pain, suffering.  His way that is all about giving, emptying out of my "self".

When I gave God the gift of my "self", He filled me.  He filled the void.  No matter how much I give, I can not out give Him.  He continually replenishes me - like a living spring that never goes dry as it runs towards the ocean. 

No longer am I the empty sack. 

"Set up to Topple" - 04/10/13 - 1 Samuel 4:12-8:22

"they were shocked to find Dagon toppled from his place, flat on his face before the Chest of God."  (5:3) 

How often we are shocked when we see that God is Bigger.  Stronger. 

How often is He taken for granted, doubted? 

And He shows us continuously He is "I AM".

How often do we feel we are not strong, smart, good, connected - enough.  How often do we judge God against our own measuring stick.  How often do we think we are above Him and in trying to put us above Him, we only topple. 

Flat on our face? 

Before the chest of God.

The many gods I try and put before Him - they always topple.  They aren't equipped to be God.  I am reminded in scripture how ridiculous it is when we take an inanimate object, or ourselves,  making them into god.  When we take a log and use part of it for burning and the other part we bow down to.   Designs carved into it by our own hands. 

Actually, it is more than ridiculous, it is just plain stupid. 

The times when I try and do things my way, my time, all about me.  Thinking that I am in control, that I am on top of it all, and then..........I topple. 

Insisting on clinging to the things He has instructed me to be rid of.  My pride, sense of entitlement, bitterness, evil thoughts, not forgiving, heart set on revenge.  Things that become my god and I topple from the weight of them. 

It is so stupid  to continually try to carry this burden and not hand it over to Him.  To not trust and have faith  He will take care of me.  His way, even when it doesn't seem to make sense, is the best and right way.  I am reminded again that in my trying to dictate life, I am feeding the monster of self. 

I am getting in the way of Him.

I am being stupid. 

So - having the comfort of knowing He has transformed my heart over past issues, I still fight the daily fight of not picking up the new pieces of garbage which become a burden.  Becoming a part of my heart.  Dimming the shine that He is transmitting through me to others. 

I am again getting in the way of letting others see Him through me.

I am being stupid. 

I am setting myself up to topple.