Friday, May 03, 2013

"My "self" - 04/11/13 - I Samuel 9:1:12:25

"Saul said, “If we go, what do we have to give him? There’s no more bread in our sacks. We’ve nothing to bring as a gift to the holy man. Do we have anything else?”  The servant spoke up, “Look, I just happen to have this silver coin! I’ll give it to the holy man and he’ll tell us how to proceed!”  (9:7-9)

What do I have to give Him - my Abba?

Looking into my heart, I see, I too had nothing to bring as a gift for Him.  Even after eating my fill of the bread of the world, my life was an empty sack.

 It may be that I "just happened to have a silver coin".  Something the world claims has value, but in God was nothing. 

No matter how much silver I may have had, I was unable to make my way into Him.  Not by works, bartering, boasting, nor is there any sneaking "into" Him. 

What gift could I give to Him?

How humbled I am to think that the Creator of all - My Abba, My Daddy -  wanted only one thing from me - my "self". 

Even more humbling is the thought that my starved "self" would only come before Him, wrapped in the ugly, filthy, stench scented, rags of sin.

How my heart filled seeing the joy and delight He took in taking the present of my "self".  How He held my "self", this dirty, ugly wrapped gift,  as a most precious treasure.  He never turned away, trying to draw in a fresh breath of air, as the stench rose up to His nose.  He gently, firmly, carefully, unwrapped my "self" and then -

He smiled.  

He dipped me into My Savior's blood, His precious Son, to cleanse me and make me pure and holy.  He clothed me in the beautiful silks of The Holy Spirit.  He fed me the meat of His Word - His Truth.

My "self" is His most precious treasure.

When I think about how long it took me to realize and act upon this, my eyes tear at the wasted time spent away from Him.  All those years I walked in the world, focused on myself, trying to fill myself up in all ways possible, and still I was empty. 

The world is all about taking for self. 

And then there is God's way. 

A way that only makes sense if you are "in" Him.  His way is about giving.  Giving up "self" - to Him.  Giving up "self" - to be a vessel for Him.  Giving up "self" - to give blessings to those you encounter.  Even when it brings pain, suffering.  His way that is all about giving, emptying out of my "self".

When I gave God the gift of my "self", He filled me.  He filled the void.  No matter how much I give, I can not out give Him.  He continually replenishes me - like a living spring that never goes dry as it runs towards the ocean. 

No longer am I the empty sack. 

No comments: