Friday, June 30, 2017

"We - Whom He Chases After" - 06/30/17 - Psalm 21-25

"Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life.  
I'm back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life."(Psalm 23:6)

When I was seventeen, I moved from a town of maybe 100 people to Chicago.  The very naïve farm girl was in the middle of the big city - very big city.  Some ago when Nichalas and Amber were living there, while visiting them we went downtown.  On a whim we walked through the old building I used to work in.  It amazed me after 33 years much of it was the same.  I worked for a freelance logo designer.  It was a very fun job, but the hours weren't 9-5.  "Back then" we would take different pictures in stores for ideas, presentations to the clients were done throughout the regular working hours and at night we would do the layouts, drawing, etc.  There wasn't photo shop back then - everything was pretty much from scratch and by hand.  I really enjoyed the work and the hours didn't bother me. 

At the time, I lived in a suburb and would take the train home.  Many, many times to save money, I would walk across downtown to catch the last train home - usually after midnight.  To save time - I would cut through alleys, side streets, etc. 

I was so naïve - it didn't occur to me the dangers I was walking though. 
Today - I miss looking at the world through those innocent eyes.

Many, many times over the years when I think about how many, many, many times I walked through "dangerous places" - it is without a doubt I know His hedge of protection was about me. 

It still is. 
I often say my guardian angels probably have gray hair or no hair from all the stress I have put them through. 

When I think about the darkness of the alley's I cut through, I can see how His light was always around  me. Even though at the time I was totally unaware of Him, in my minds eye, I can actually see His bright light following me through my memories.  I once heard there is no such thing as darkness, only the void of light.  

His light is always there.

Is always here. 

No matter how dark we feel it is - His light is there - somewhere - we just need to "focus" on it.  Be it through His Word, His family, His nature.  He is all about us.  Always.  In all ways.

My heart is overwhelmed to see "He always chased after me." 

My heart is so thankful I came to my senses and let Him capture me.

 My heart is so secure in knowing " I'm back home in the house of God for the rest of my life."

Don't you just love knowing His Promise.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

"We - His So Loved" - 06/29/17 - Psalm 17-20


"But me He caught—reached all the way
    from sky to sea; He pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
    the void in which I was drowning.

They hit me when I was down,
    but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;

    I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

God made my life complete
    when I placed all the pieces before Him.
When I got my act together,
    He gave me a fresh start.

Now I’m alert to God’s ways;
    I don’t take God for granted.

Every day I review the ways He works;

    I try not to miss a trick.

I feel put back together,
    and I’m watching my step.

God rewrote the text of my life
    when I opened the book of my heart to His Eyes.
The good people taste Your goodness,
The whole people taste Your health,
The true people taste Your Truth,(18:16-25)

So "in" love with His Word - our own personal love letter from our ABBA!

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

"For Us He Does" - 06/28/17 - Psalms 9-16

I’m thanking You, God, from a full heart,
    I’m writing the book on Your wonders.
I’m whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy;
    I’m singing Your song, High God.(9:1-2)
I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms—
    I’m celebrating Your rescue.
I’m singing at the top of my lungs,
    I’m so full of answered prayers.(13:5-6)
Keep me safe, O God,
    I’ve run for dear life to You.
I say to God, “Be my Lord!”
    Without You, nothing makes sense.
 And these God-chosen lives all around—
    what splendid friends they make!
Don’t just go shopping for a god.
    Gods are not for sale.
I swear I’ll never treat god-names
    like brand-names.
 My choice is You, God, first and only.
    And now I find I’m your choice!

You set me up with a house and yard.
    And then You made me Your heir!
The wise counsel God gives when I’m awake
    is confirmed by my sleeping heart.
Day and night I’ll stick with God;
    I’ve got a good thing going and I’m not letting go.
I’m happy from the inside out,
    and from the outside in, I’m firmly formed.

You canceled my ticket to hell—
    that’s not my destination!
Now You’ve got my feet on the life path,
    all radiant from the shining of Your face.
Ever since You took my hand,
    I’m on the right way.(16:2-11)


Tuesday, June 27, 2017

"He Is The Truth" - 06/27/17 - Psalm 1-8

"But You, God, shield me on all sides;
You ground my feet, You lift my head high;
With all my might I shout up to God,
His answers thunder from the holy mountain.

I stretch myself out. I sleep. Then I'm up again—rested, tall and steady,
Fearless before the enemy mobs Coming at me from all sides.

Up, God! My God, help me! Slap their faces, First this cheek, then the other, Your fist hard in their teeth!

Real help comes from God. Your blessing clothes your people!(3:3-4)

It can be more than overwhelming if you allow the news from the world to become louder than His Truth.  Watching the news, reading the papers, it seems there isn't much hope left. 

But if you open your eyes, take in and chew on His Word, His Truth, you will begin to hear and see things differently. 

All about us is the newness and goodness of our ABBA and His family.  His Hope.

All about us is are the ones who are His Mighty Warriors, creating ripples in this world and touching lives beyond more than we can ever imagine.

I love how His Word reminds us over and over again that He is our shield, our grounding, our pride.  I love how we are able to stretch ourselves out. How we are able to sleep in peace.  I love how because of Him - we are rested, tall and steady. 

The Truth always comes out.  Just as in light overpowering darkness - so is Truth over lies. 

It is only when we base our standards on Him we are able to recognize the lies.  He is our shield on all sides.  Even though we are standing firm In Him - we still need - need - His protection. 

I am praying for discernment with words spoken from everyone.  I am praying for the lost souls, which are so very lost, but think they have the world by the tail.  I am praying for others not to fall victim to anger/bitterness, the fruits of the world, but that all will know an intimacy with our ABBA.

I love that we are free to stretch our self out

To live and love with our arms open wide, outstretched to heaven, standing on the tips of our toes.  Trusting completely we are completely protected. Even in the midst of the spiritual battle - we stand grounded In Him - His Truth.

I love we hear His voice of Truth over the voices of lies.
"Instead you thrill to God’s Word,
    you chew on Scripture day and night."(1:2)

Monday, June 26, 2017

"Let Us Count The Ways" - 06/26/17 - Malachi 1-4

God said, "I love you." You replied, "Really? How have you loved us?"(1:2)

It used to be I wondered if God loved me.  I always felt His Love, His blessings were for everyone else and I was on the sidelines watching the Love unfold.  How His Word has transformed not only my heart, but my way of thinking and seeing life. 

There is no longer any doubt nor do I reply, "really?" when I hear Him tell me how He loves me. 

I have found when I am focused on Him, all my senses are on overload from His Glory showing off for us.
For each and every one of us.
Image may contain: sky, tree, outdoor and nature
His nature continually blows me away. This morning as the sun came up, it cast its golden glow across the drive, illuminating the colors on the flower blooms, causing them to shine out in the predawn darkness. The shadows adding depth and dimension to the garden area He has enabled us to create out of the dense underbrush. The old hedge trees stand over the new plantings, their twisted, ancient, branches home to so many of His birds and other critters. In a blink of an eye, the leaves will begin their slow, eye catching death, as fall begins to make herself at home before the final act of winter to end this cycle of seasons.

For a number of years we have attended an annual party friends hold in the barn built in the early 1900's on their farm. Although the craftsmanship throughout draws my eyes in admiration, it is looking out the frameless window at our ABBA's landscape beyond, sitting at a table in the company of loved ones, my mind goes back to. His beauty of the fields, tree line, the sky, making it hard to tear my eyes away. Breathless He leaves me in showing His "painting" which surpasses any of those painted by the hand of man.

There is a nearby place Curt and I sometimes drive to and park at the top of a ridge to watch the moon rise up and prepare for its journey across the sky. One night we waited in vain to watch a full harvest moon as a cloudbank only intensified, blocking our view. Every once in awhile we were able to see the brightness behind the clouds, knowing it must have been something to see. Later on at home, I awoke from falling asleep on the couch, to a room full of light. I smiled as I looked out the window. Up above the clouds His great moon shinning down, illuminating the landscape before me. His timing. His way.

I am in awe of those He has placed within my heart in this life. How often I find myself just drinking in the beauty of Him, seen through them. People. I love seeing a glimpse of someone in the lineage through the face, mannerism, build, of their relatives. How beautiful each of us are. I could get lost in the beauty of the eyes alone, especially when seen through a magnifying glass. Their colors, shapes, even sizes. Skin. How He has made each of us our own unique, beautiful color. Hands, representing so much of life lived through wrinkles, callouses, scars - so much strength. So much strength when folded in prayer. Our feet to carry us. How He has made us to walk upright. How He has created our bodies to move from one place to another, each one in their own unique stride.

I am always blown away once more in His miracle of life when holding a little one who is only a few hours into this world. I will once again be reminded in how He has used the different genes from one another to create another. How He has created a whole "someone" from the sperm and egg of a man and woman. Designing the woman to be a part of the process and then to give birth to new little ones. So many, many ways He has shown His Love to "us". How He adores and desires "us".

So many ways He says to us, "I love you".
And then we will reply, "really?".

As I was falling asleep last night, I prayed He would awaken me before His sun came above the horizon and this morning I smiled as He gently called me to begin my day while it was still dark outside. I smiled for I knew, even with that simple prayer, He listens. Always. He is there. Always.
It used to be I was so focused on what I didn't receive, I missed out on what He did/does give me. I was looking at the "unfairness" and not seeing the even greater of "Him". Being so focused on me, I missed out on the all of "Him" around me.

Each moment I am striving to be focused into and onto Him. It is only then we are able to know with the all of us - "Yes, how He so loves me".

Sunday, June 25, 2017

"In Him - We Shine! Shimmer! Glow!" - 06/26/17 - Zechariah 8-14

"Then God will come into view, His arrows flashing like lightning! Master God will blast His trumpet and set out in a whirlwind. God-of-the-Angel-Armies will protect them - all-out war, The war to end all wars, no holds barred.  Their God will save the day. He'll rescue them. They'll become like sheep, gentle and soft, Or like gemstones in a crown, catching all the colors of the sun.  Then how they'll shine! shimmer! glow! the young men robust, the young women lovely! (9:14-17)

Whenever I look at the moon, I will remember my Aunt Sheryl telling me how she draws comfort  looking at the moon and knowing, the same one is shining down upon those she loves and is apart from.  How it is a beautiful orb symbolizing to us that our ABBA is with each one of us as well.  24/7.  No matter where we are.  The time.  The distance. 

I love standing at the dining room picture window and looking out at the full moon giving off so much light.  Illuminating everything about our home in the soft glow, peeking through the tree tops as it makes its way across the night sky.  The clouds dancing by are almost glowing. 

Alone.  The moon is unable to give off any light.  It takes the light of our sun being reflected from its surface to illuminate the world below.   

Standing at the kitchen window this morning, the sunlight brought my attention to them.  Strands upon strands of spider webs, clinging to the railing of the deck.  There would be a great feasting upon the many bugs caught up in them.  The gentle breeze moving them, reflecting His light like diamonds.   Sparkling. 

Without the sunlight, I wouldn't have noticed them.  Without the sunlight, our moon would not stand out from the darkness of the skies. 

Without His Sonlight - our heart wouldn't be transformed, transforming, to where He has brought us today.  We wouldn't notice the all of  beauty He has set before us.
Without His Sonlight reflecting off our heart,  our life and heart would be in darkness. 

These verses He has given me today are filled with the word pictures of His Light.  How exciting to see the display of His Glory face to face one day.  But until then, we are able to see it everywhere we look.  In His nature, His people, even in "me". 

Slowly I am finally seeing that I am also one of His Masterpieces. 

Not because of anything I have done, only because of Him.  Only because He reflects off of me.  Only because of Him do I sparkle and dance.  Only because of Him am I "like gemstones in a crown, catching all the colors of the sun."  A gemstone in His Crown.

Only because of Him do we now,  "shine! shimmer! glow! His child lovely!"

Saturday, June 24, 2017

"In His Family" - 06/24/17 - Zechariah 1-7

"Well, the message hasn't changed. God-of-the-Angel-Armies said then and says now: "'Treat one another justly. Love your neighbors. Be compassionate with each other.  Don't take advantage of widows, orphans, visitors, and the poor. Don't plot and scheme against one another - that's evil.'  (7:9-10)

I think about all of the people in our lives, some for many seasons, and have to sit back, undo my top button, because my life is so full. 

He has taken strangers and created His family.  The freedom with them to be myself, to know without doubt I am loved, accepted, treasured, cherished, is a gift I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.  The joy of knowing and hearing encouragement, delighting in the blend of "us" as we share and create new moments and memories.  The security and peace of acceptance, being lifted up and not torn down, seeing me as I am - His. 

The blessings of being surrounded by Him through His family.


It is only by being "in" Him and surrounded with His family we are able to endure the tortures satan throws up at us.  Being a part of His family is not only loving each other through Him, we hold each other accountable, grow, nurture, replenish, and refresh us. 

How very blessed am I.  My cup runneth over.
Being a part of His family.  Heartsmile.

Friday, June 23, 2017

"YOU" - 06/23/17 - Zephaniah 1-3; Haggai 1-2

"I've looked over the field and chosen you for this work.'" The Message of God-of-the-Angel-Armies."(Haggai 2:23)

Whenever we are out and about near sunset, I am scanning the horizon and watching His end of the day show.  Last year Ashley's mom, Dawn, was able to capture this picture of the most amazing sunset.  I can never remember seeing such vivid pinks, purples and grays as they were that night.  The camera could not capture the Awesomeness of our ABBA's handiwork, no matter how many shots I took.  My heart smiles when I recognize ABBA showing off for our enjoyment.  And only because of how very much He Loves us. 
I often think about how everything He has created works together.  Some ways can be explained and others we shall never know.  The all of creation has a job description. 
And "we" , "we" are the best of the all His creation. Only "we" are made in His image.  Yet how often is it we wonder, doubt, balk, at the "work" our ABBA has given us. There are times we are so into "self", we completely miss the "work" He has set before us and miss out on the blessings gleaned from the "work" when done.  When we are so absorbed into "what are my gifts?", we don't use any and miss out on the Divine Appointments He has set up for us. 
No matter where your journey takes you this day and every day, remember - nothing is by coincidence.  Look forward in excitement to where He is leading you, using you, growing you, blessing, completing and transforming you.  All steps are gaining ground closer to being Home with Him!

In all of history, God decided that in this one little slice - this twenty years or fifty-two years or ninety-one years, whatever time "you" have on this earth - this was the single point ideally suited for "you" to serve Him and bring Him Glory.  Out of all of the nearly infinite possibilities, there was no better time for "you" to be born with your unique gifts, talents, skills, and personality.  God knew "you" before "you" were, and He put "you" right where He wanted "you".

Unfortunately, many of us don't believe "we" are masterpieces.  We focus so much on our perceived deficiencies that we convince our selves that God wouldn't use "us", or perhaps even that He couldn't.  Because we have not grasped who "we" are, we work hard to focus on all the things "we" are not.  Consequently, we're not living out "our" true purpose, no wonder we're frustrated.  If you don't know the purpose of something, all you can do is misuse it.

Whose are "you"?  Think about everything that characterizes your life and defines "you".  Think about the experiences you've had, the decisions you've made, all the people you've loved, the trophies you've won, and all those times you've blown it.  Are "you" good enough?  By yourself, no.

But He is.

He's more than enough.  

His grace and mercy is more than enough for "you". 

"You" are who you are - "you" are where you are - because He set "you" on this path, plotted this course for "you". 

And right now, in this moment, as you're reading the words on this page, it's because God put them in front of you for "you".  (And you know it's true, don't you?)  Without Christ, there's something wrong with "you".  But with Christ, "you" are God's Masterpiece.  "you" are created for His purpose, and you have all "you" need to do all God wants "you" to do.  And nothing will be wasted; God will use everything in your life to fulfill His vision for "you".

When you know Whose "you" are, "you" will know what to do.

In Him,
 "YOU"  - are His Masterpiece. 
Ever more so than the most beautiful sunset or anything else of His creation.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

"Our Roses" - 06/22/17 - Nahum 1-3; Habakkuk 1-3

"But the person in right standing before God
    through loyal and steady believing
    is fully alive, really alive." (Habakkuk 2:4)

Yesterday I took the afternoon off and spent it with our Ella.
It didn't mean I have everything caught up or work didn't need to be done. It did mean I need - need - to take time and smell the roses. Right now our precious grandchildren want to be with me. to spend time with me. to just be together doing. And I have found I am letting the busy of life get in the way.
One day will come too fast, too soon, when they will be busy and there won't just be together doing. Today for the first time ever, I had a tea party on our living room floor and I got to hear a little girl pray over pretend tea and cupcakes. Along with Mini Mouse and Micky Mouse, the "Boys" (from Adam and Nichalas' youth). We then read books (as I fought falling asleep), played "the money game" (aka Life), sat on the front porch swing watching and listening to the birds, walking up to the graveyard, standing at the foot of the Crucifix there and discussing how Jesus is our best friend. Why did He die. But He isn't dead now. Walking over to the playground and actually playing with her. It has been too many years since I have slid down a slide. Walking back and eating a jelly sandwich and drinking Grandpa Curt's milk. And my water.
My heart has fallen head over heels in love with our Charles and Ella. I am so thankful to be taking His lead and resetting my priorites. To slow down and take smaller steps. all the while holding smaller hands that will one day grow bigger. 
What delightful, beautiful, inside/out little people our ABBA has choosen to call me Grandma Deby.

Our ABBA knows what are the important parts of life.  To live as He has instructed, we are really alive.   
Take the time to smell your roses. Life goes way too fast. too soon. Promise.


Wednesday, June 21, 2017

"His Promises" - 06/21/17- Micah 1-7

"But we live honoring God, and we're loyal to our God forever and ever.
 "On that great day," God says,
"I will round up all the hurt and homeless, everyone I have bruised or banished.
 I will transform the battered into a company of the elite.
I will make a strong nation out of the long lost,
A showcase exhibit of God's rule in action, as I rule from Mount Zion, from here to eternity." (4:5-7)

How often we take out our sins from yesterday's and rehash them, carry the guilt and shame in our daily living. Nothing satan loves better, for it tears us down. How it saddens our ABBA. In doing this, we are saying The Sacrifice of our Savior wasn't enough. We are instead choosing to live in condemnation, rather than in His Grace and Mercy.
He has transformed my heart into being thankful for all of my past "Job moments". If it wasn't for the hurt and homeless moments, I wouldn't be as aware of the blessings of His family He rains down and saturates me with today. If I weren't battered from the yesterday's, I wouldn't bask in the healing balm of Love from His family He surrounds me with. If I hadn't of been lost, I wouldn't know the joy of being found by Him. I wouldn't desire Him with my all. If it wasn't for the longing in my soul when it was empty, I wouldn't know the overwhelming feelings of my thirst being quenched by His Word. If I hadn't of been weak, I wouldn't know what it is like to live in His Strength.
My heart. My life. My all.
So often when I am out, I will be greeted with bright eyes, hugs from the heart, from numerous siblings. Throughout the years I have loved sharing so many "kids" with His extended family. Seeing these "kids", all grown up with little ones of their own, raising them up "in" Him.  There is great comfort and joy gained from studying His Word each week with siblings.  Sharing life and growing in Him together.  Affirmation from so many in how He loves each of us through one another.   
Living by ABBA's standards, unconditional love and acceptance from His "family".  
Our family.  My family. 

Time spent in the company of the elite.
Standing on His Promises when living "in" our Savior. 
"Who is a God like You,
who pardons iniquity
And passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession?
HE does not retain HIS anger forever,
Because HE delights in unchanging love.
HE will again have compassion on us; 
HE will tread our iniquities under foot.
Yes, YOU will cast all their sins Into the depths of the sea."
What an Awesome God we serve - "from here to eternity".  Oh.  How He Loves us.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

"We - His Clean" - 06/20/17 - Obadiah; Jonah 1-4

"Everyone must turn around, turn back from an evil life and the violent ways that stain their hands." (3:8)

I love looking at people's hands and try to figure out the story they tell.  To imagine all the places moments, things they have partook in.  To think about all the ripples created from their touch.  their help.  their being.  My hands are calloused, worn, leather lined. My hands are "work hands". They are also stained this time of year. No matter how much I scrub. 

To have "lady like hands", would mean changing my way of life and unless ABBA tells me He has another job for me, I will continue digging in the dirt. Taking care of grasses. Clearing brush. Spraying chemicals for unwanted plant life.

 This way of making a living isn't "violent". It gives me great peace and joy.
It is a blessing.

But there are times when my choices create storms. Either outside or within my soul. I love reading how during this storm in Jonah, ABBA in His Mightiness, caused the sailors to believe and worship Him. I love how He always is in control, even during the darkest part of the storms, and His Glory and Ways prevail.

 No longer do I try and "run away from God", but there are times when I am as Jonah. When my "violent ways" are Self-righteous. Putting my "self" above ABBA. When I believe my sins are "less" than others. (A sin is a sin. There aren't any levels.) And it is then the storms come raging in.

It isn't that I am calling our Savior a fish. But in a way, I guess I am.
You see, He was the great fish who swallowed us when we were drowning in the depths of our sins.

Unlike the fish who swallowed Jonah, our "fish" didn't and won't be vomiting us out. We are in Him and He is in us. 


And our hands. 
 Our hands that were stained from our sins.
They have been scrubbed, bleached, renewed by The Blood of our Savior. 

In His own special way, He has put on us the gloves of "grace and mercy".
 We are Redeemed by His Blood.
What a Savior.

What an ABBA.


Monday, June 19, 2017

"Wander No More" - 06/19/17 - Amos 6-9

People will drift from one end of the country to the other, roam to the north, wander to the east. They'll go anywhere, listen to anyone, hoping to hear God's Word - but they won't hear it. (8:12)

me - this lost years ago.
what a dissolute way I went through life.
So thankful His Word has/is transforming my heart.
How I love "living" life with/for Him!

No more drifting.  No more wandering.  No more living life without hope. 

Whom are you sharing His Word with - in actual speech, actions, heart?  
Whom are you sharing His Love with as you go?
I was looking at His sky the other night. The different dimensions stood out as the clouds moved through in front of His beautiful bright moon.  Day or night, the wonderment of His skies always leaves me breathless.  With thanksgiving I praised Him for making this world in different dimensions.
The beauty of shadows, the depths of colors, the display of shapes. How bland this world would be if not in 3D. Much like the gift of His Love. Could you imagine what it would be like not experiencing the depth, the width of His Love? To not experience the different persons and their way of loving?

His nature.  His people.  Just a taste of His Awesomeness.
Enjoy this day He has blessed you with! No more wandering.  Safe "in" Him.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

"We - Hand Picked" - 06/18/17 - Amos 1-5

"Out of all the families on earth, I picked you"(3:2)
The storm woke me up two nights ago.  Instantly my prayers went up for Adam and Charlie who were at Boy Scout Camp near Nauvoo, IL.  From the looks of the radar, the middle of the storm was over their tents.  My mind then ran to Nichalas and Amber making their way over the High Sierra in conditions said to be more dangerous than any other year due to the record amount of snows.  From the High Sierra's my mind went to a little yellow home where our Ashley and Ella were hopefully sleeping without their men under the same roof. 
Our family.  Parts of my heart.  Never leaving my mind.  Or prayers. 

In my minds eye I can see our ABBA all about each one of them.  His Glory chasing away any darkness surrounding them.  I am blessed with the peace of knowing all of my family is in the care of The Great Protector.  For answering prayers of only a bit of rain falling upon tents and no storms.  For the temps to be warmer than expected in the mountains and knowing our two have good sound heads upon their shoulders.  For a text from Ashley that everything went well through the night. 
Over and over I find myself thanking ABBA for the blessing of having them as my family.  I find myself thinking of others who are enduring heart pains, fighting for their lives, who have lost a child or loved one.  I fight falling into the self pity party or allowing fear to come in and run out peace.

 Often times in the darkness of early morning hours, I find myself kneeling before Him, feeling His Hand on my head as we converse. I am reminded over and over through His Words - "He picked me". In the times of my weakest moment, when I want nothing more than to break into heart wrenching sobs, He has given me the image of Mary. A young woman, dropping to her knees, no longer able to stand, because of the heart wrenching pain in seeing her son, her baby, nailed onto The Cross.

He gave me the image of this woman who drew her strength to endure from her Lord.
He gave me perception that in Him there is never an eternal separation.


 Even now, I know I am only able to perceive an inkling of what she endured being the mommy of our Savior.

I love how our ABBA gives us comfort in no matter the age of our child, we will always be blessed by the brief glimpse of yesterdays.
There are moments when looking at our young men today, for a flicker of a second I will see the little boys from yesterdays in their eyes, a certain expression, the wrinkle of their nose. Their hands able to hold my whole hand in them, when just a few yesterdays it was mine that held all of theirs. Their smiles and antics as they make new memories cause me to remember all those times of watching them grow up as best friends. It is when they are parting company, with months of separation ahead, my heart hurts most.  Seeing the tears from both of them as they hug each other.  Hearing whispered, "I love you" to each other. How a mama hates seeing her children hurt.  Even if because of the great and close love they share.  Conversations today are shared with whispered words from the past darting in and out from the keepsakes in my heart.
Our ABBA gave Mary the blessing of seeing her son again after His sacrifice on The Cross. I can only imagine what it must of been like to realize without doubt she was the mommy of The Son of God. I don't have to imagine though what it is like to be the mommy of children of God.

He has given us the blessing of bringing Adam back to live nearby.  To work with and see him most days.  I love the memories we are making with his family.  To have another daughter in love, Ashley, whom I am falling more in love with each passing day.  To hear Charlie and Ella call out, "Grandma Deby" on a regular basis. The life they are bringing into our home through their laughter, sounds of little feet running and playing.

He has given me strength to overcome the ache within my heart of having Nichalas and Amber so far away. They are on the mission field for and in Him. He has comforted me in blessing upon blessing, of seeing their fruits for Him, to help overcome the selfishness of wanting them close by. He has also shown me it is all about His time and His way. He has given me joy and hope in hearing their plans to move back here one day.

He has given me strength to be content and thankful in all situations.
To be thankful for the gifts of Skype, cell phone, and internet in today's way of being together.
He has given me recognition how blessed we are for any time spent together.
Just as He "picked" Mary to be the mommy of our Savior, He handpicked me to be the mommy of Adam, Nichalas, and our two in Heaven, mom in love to our Ashley and Amber, and Grandma Deby to our Charles, Ella, two little ones in Heaven and God willing other future grandchildren.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude.  with the honor.  with the joy.
He "hand picked" me to introduce our sons to their Bestest Friend - our Jesus.
Our Savior.
"Hand Picked".  Each and every one of us in the role He has placed us in.  May we make the most of that role for His Glory.

Friday, June 16, 2017

"We - His Angels" - 06/16/17 - Hosea 8-14

"Sow righteousness, reap love.
It's time to till the ready earth, it's time to dig in with God,
Until He arrives with righteousness ripe for harvest. (10:12)
Yesterday as Charles and I sat at the Ice Shack eating a portion of "Tiger's Blood" and playing a game of hangman on the picnic table with chalk, a little boy came over and sat across from us.  He told us was four and proceeded to take his own piece of chalk and write over our playing area.  Not long after his grandma came over and sat beside us.  My alone time with Charles was gone as they took over.  Honestly, at first I was a little annoyed my time with Charles was being interrupted, but then our ABBA opened my eyes and ears. 
I began to hear a woman who just wanted to share.  She was a beautiful 74 year young, raising her 64 year old nephew, sitting in the car, who had been diagnosed with dementia and could no longer live alone.  The little boy was her grandson, whose parents had recently split up and she was lending a hand in the raising of him.  As Charles and the little boy played, I also learned she had been raped by a family friend when she was 14 and it resulted in the birth of her daughter.  Through all of her sharing, she gave Glory to our ABBA in how blessed she was.  More than once she expressed she just usually didn't share so much, but felt the need to with me.  I don't know if that was true or not, but do know ABBA needed my ears to be within her voice during those moments.  She wasn't having a pity party or rambling about with her words. 
I spent most of our time together just listening and watching her.  Her inside/out beauty kept touching my heart.  The boys were done playing and I knew it was time to be heading for our next destination  I told her about how each day I look for our ABBA's Divine Appointment's He has lined up for me and how she was mine that day.  We hugged and thanked our ABBA for meshing our steps for a few moments.  He had used all four of us to touch each others heart in His own unique way.
Later as I was walking across the field to watch Ella play t-ball, I couldn't place where I knew the woman standing by the fence.  Stopping I introduced myself,  but couldn't remember where we had met. She laughed and said the same.  We both realized it was at Addicts Victorious where I had been volunteering and they were there to get help for their son.  She reminded me of a later time when she was in Home Depo and I had followed ABBA's prompting to go over and encourage her as she stood in the aisle with tears running down her face because of news she had just received regarding her son.  Like many other moments when He uses me, it was a time I had completely forgotten and even after her reminder, still vaguely remember. 
Both of these women called me their angel.  I just smile and laugh down deep inside.  It isn't "me".  It is our ABBA.  Only He could turn the all of "me" into an angel.    
satan and "self"  love to bring up the times we fail to meet our Divine Appointments.  Those moments when we don't allow Christ to shine brighter than our "self".  How he and "we" love to tear "us" down. 
But our ABBA. 
He wants us to focus on the moments when He prevails over our "self".  To focus on the times we do as He desires.  To learn from the moments we fail.  To grow from them.  To drink in the gifts of His forgiveness.  His grace.  His mercy.  His LOVE. 
He is continually hitting my heart with each beat, a reminder of how much I desire to be Christ like with all that I am.

Not for my glory, but for His.
Not for His approval, but because I am so crazy in love with Him.

I continually pray.each step I take,
each breath I take in and release,
each movement and moment,
the all of me 
will be for Him.  

I continually pray.
He will use me as His vessel
in all
and every way.
 I continually pray.
 I am not seen - only ABBA is.
May we all be at the ready for The Divine Appointments set up along the way.  To be an "angel" for those in need.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

"I So Love Knowing" - 06/15/17 - Hosea 1-7

I'll plant her in the good earth. I'll have mercy on No-Mercy.
I'll say to Nobody,
 'You're My dear Somebody,'
and he'll say 'You're my God!'" (2:23)

I so love being planted in Him.
Our "good earth".
I so love how in Him, our roots sink in and take hold in the firm foundation of Him.
How He enables us to weather the storms of life and grow stronger.
Only because of Him. 
I so love knowing in Him, our past, present, future sins are forgiven.
I so love knowing in Him, He has covered us in His mercy and grace - as the leaves cover the trees. 
I so love knowing these "leaves" will never fall off.
I so love knowing  His "Sonshine" feeds us, as the sunshine provides nourishment through the leaves, down to our inner core.
And most of all.
Most of all.
I so love in Him, we are no longer a "nobody".

In Him we are our ABBA's "dear Somebody".
And He is our God.  
I so love knowing no greater LOVE.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

"Living Water" - 06/14/17 - Ezekiel 46-48

He told me,
"This water flows east, descends to the Arabah and then into the sea, the sea of stagnant waters.

When it empties into those waters, the sea will become fresh.   

Wherever the river flows, life will flourish -
great schools of fish -
because the river is turning the salt sea into fresh water.

Where the river flows, life abounds.  

Fishermen will stand shoulder to shoulder along the shore from En-gedi all the way north to
En-eglaim, casting their nets.

The sea will teem with fish of all kinds, like the fish of the Great Mediterranean.   "The swamps and marshes won't become fresh. They'll stay salty. 

 "But the river itself, on both banks, will grow fruit trees of all kinds.
Their leaves won't wither, the fruit won't fail.
Every month they'll bear fresh fruit because the river from the Sanctuary flows to them.
Their fruit will be for food and their leaves for healing."(47:8-12)

 I love taking this verse and applying it to my soul.  my heart.  my life.

How I was "the sea of stagnant waters" before His Waters flowed into me. 

How He has transformed my whole being into "fresh water" - flowing and life abounds.

Where I am not alone, where I stand "shoulder to shoulder" with His family - my family.  Casting our nets - living as "fishers of men". 

How even though there are still "salty places, which aren't fresh" in my life, His waters are more vast.  His waters are where I come to refresh, to be made strong.  His Waters have cleansed me and I know I will never again be stuck in the mires of the swamps and marshes.

How I love that I am a strong "tree" in Him, a tree which bears fruit for Him.

How I love that He is The Tree.
The Tree.
In which my roots have come from. 
The Tree.
In which the leaves never wither, which provides the constant fruit. 

The Tree.
Of Eternal Life.

How I love He feeds me, provides for me.
How I love the cool, healing balm of Him. 

How I so love His Words.

His personal love letter to me. 
and you.
to us all.
Who are His Trees.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

"Our Bestest" - 06/13/17 - Ezekiel 44-45

Serve from your best and your home will be blessed.(44:30)

I used to think Adam and Nichalas were my best from everything I have ever produced.

They aren't.

It isn't that they aren't my best, it is that they are not mine.

Just like everything else in my life.

I am blessed in being whom He appointed to be a steward for whatever and whomever is in my life. 
But. I. am. not. the. owner.

He is.

Yet, how often do we hold back the "best" of things and offer up to ABBA our seconds? 
Holding on to satisfy our selfishness, to fulfill our self-worth, to feel security? 

In serving Him up the "seconds", we are not fooling Him at all. 
It isn't that He needs our "best", He instructs us to give to Him the "best" for a reason.

If we don't - if we don't give Him the "best" - the "best" becomes our gods.

I used to get my worth and satisfaction, my "lovefill" if you want to call it that, from Adam and Nichalas.  By placing them first in my life, I was not only placing ABBA further down the list, but also Curt.  I was also placing a huge burden on Adam and Nichalas.  There isn't another human  (or thing) who is able to fill our God-void. 

Only He can.

Sure, I still wrestle with placing security, my worth,  in things of this world, but it isn't the battle it once was.  I find more and more I want less and less of things - of stuff - to fill my life. 

And I am finding above all else, more often than not, is our ABBA.  He has become my "bestest friend". 
He has helped me put the order of life in line with Him.

He is better than the "best".  So blessed am I.

Monday, June 12, 2017

"Letting Him Shine Through" - 06/12/17 - Ezekiel 42-43

06/12/17 - Ezekiel 42-43

"The bright Glory of God poured into the Temple through the east gate.
The Spirit put me on my feet and led me to the inside courtyard and—oh!
the bright Glory of God filled the Temple!" (43:4-5)
"Letting Him Shine Through"

It is a sin you know, to look into the mirror and speak words to yourself in a way you would never speak to another.  When you stand in front of the mirror, the reflection looking back at you, is actually an image of God.  Yes, He created all humans in His image. 

And since I last checked, nothing has changed, we are human.

When accepting Christ as our Savior, we are given The Holy Spirit.  We are His Temple here on earth, The Church.  He comes into us, settles right in from the top of our head to the tips of our toes.  He makes Himself very much at home in our souls, hearts, and minds.  We look at ABBA as a gentle, kind, loving God, which He is, but there is another side to Him we often overlook.  Although He isn't pushy, allows us to make our own choices, He is a very jealous God.  The Holy Spirit, Christ, and God are all a part of the Trinity.  Three in one. 

And being filled with the Holy Spirit means just that. 

He wants to fill you up. 


He is jealous when we hold onto, bring into ourselves the idols of "self" and the world.  He is broken hearted when we choose sin over Him, yet He never, ever stops loving us - unconditionally.  He doesn't go off in a corner and pout until He gets His way, as we often do.  He stands firm, loving us more and more into Him.  The only time He will leave us- is if we tell Him to.  If we choose to harden our hearts completely towards Him.  If we denounce Him.  And even then He is there, waiting on the sidelines, in case we invite Him back again. 

My prayers often include becoming more and more Christlike.  For me to disappear and persons when seeing me - see our Savior instead.  I pray His light will shine through me to reach others. 

These Scriptures have caused me to realize, I haven't been praying for myself to see "me" as He does.  To love "me", accept "me" as He does. 
And then, I sin when standing before a mirror.  I sin when looking through my insecurities.  my jealousy.  my coveting.  My view is distorted.  I am looking at life through the dark side.

 I am thankful for those In Him whom "The Spirit put them on their feet and led them to the inside courtyard" before Him".   His family.  My family.  I am thankful to receive the encouragement which comes from my family "in" Him.  The hope and examples of His great love from the many He has surrounded me with.

I now pray that each time we look into the mirror, we will HAVE to put on His sunglasses due to the brightness of His Light. To not only look upon our "self", but also others, as a child looks out into the world.  A child looks at life without the lies and hindrances of the world distorting their view.  They look upon life in wonderment.  in delight.  in excitement.  in the purest love there is.  They look at life through the eyes of our ABBA and see only beauty. 

"Oh! the bright Glory of God filled The Temple!" 

Banishing all darkness from within us.