Thursday, October 31, 2013

"Covered" - 10/30/13 - Matthew 26:31-35, Mark 14;27-31, Luke 22:31-38, John 13:31-15:17

"They found nothing. Plenty of people were willing to bring in false charges, but nothing added up, and they ended up canceling each other out." (John 14:56)

The scene above will also take place when I am standing before my ABBA one day.  The choices I made, the consequences of them, the sins I committed - all of the "bad stuff" - it will all be there - unhidden. 

I used to become afraid, ashamed when I thought about that upcoming moment.  Jesus wiped all of those emotions from me with His Truth. 

His Truth being, He has me covered.  All of us covered.

He stands in front of all the "bad stuff", covers it, secures it out of sight, out of mind.  He erases it.  All of it.  Our ABBA will find nothing.

If we allow Him to. 

First I had to accept Him, along with His grace - mercy - forgiveness.  This wasn't a "free ticket" to live a lifestyle of sin.  It was a promise for the times I did not take ABBA's escape from sin, when I have a repentive heart, to strive to be more like Christ -

I am covered. 

When ABBA sees me standing before Him, Christ is in front of me.  ABBA is looking at me through Him!  I am made Holy and Pure - through my Savior. 

It has taken great growth and maturity in my Christ, to accept that gift here and now, while living in the world.  There are persons who see Christ in me and want to tear me down.  It used to be whenever I would hear something someone had drug up about my past, lies they had compiled upon those incidents, I would cringe in shame.  I would become defensive and expel so much energy in trying to clear my name.  I was trying to be my own savior, rejecting His gift of The Cross. 

I was rejecting Christ, my Savior.

Finally, I am resting in His Truth and thoroughly drinking in The Fruits of The Spirit.  It doesn't matter what I say, do, or act.  How many days have passed while living my life "in" Him, there are some who will always choose to see me through their own vision.  I am unable to change them to see me for "whose" I am.   That is their own heart issue between them and God.

My Savior has me covered. 

I am able to enjoy the freedom in knowing, I am no longer that person.  The person I am today, isn't even tempted, lost, bumbling about trying to fill a void, to live as I did then.  In this last case of a person doing this, ABBA gave me the blessing of a smile.  He pointed out to me they were referring to sins from 36-40 years ago.  He gave me the blessing of seeing how walking in His Truth for the past 29 years has left His mark on my footsteps.  He has blessed me in knowing the times I have sinned - no matter when they occurred - because I am His - I am forgiven. The ultimate Sacrifice of my Savior, has also taken "shame" from me.

My Savior, He has made me perfect in ABBA's eyes.

Standing firm "in" Him, facing the world - knowing without a doubt - even when I do sin, confess, ask forgiveness - regardless of their response -  in accepting His gift of The Cross - ABBA has "found nothing".

I know.

I am covered.

 Forgiven by whom it really matters - Him. 


Wednesday, October 30, 2013

"1,000-10,000 Years" - 10/31/13 - John 15:18-17:26

The Father is with me. I’ve told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I’ve conquered the world.” (16:32-33)

ABBA.  Omnipresent.  He is always in control.  Everlasting.  Unconditional love.  Mine.  His. 

Volcanologists from the National Park Service and the U.S. Geological Survey have predicted that the next major Yellowstone eruption would make Mt. St. Helens look like a mere geologic hiccup. The 1980 St. Helen's eruption sent 1.25 cubic miles of ash into the air; in comparison the next Yellowstone "event" could potentially produce approximately 500 times that output volume (or 625 cubic miles). Crop failures resulting from the cataclysmic event could last for years as a consequence of that much particulate and sulfur dioxide content in the air.

Japan's Meteorological Agency issued a 1-meter tsunami warning for a long stretch of Japan's northeastern coast. It put the magnitude of the quake at 7.1.

Our economy is taking a nosedive, health care is going to be the straw that breaks the camels back. 

Gangs and drugs are overtaking our towns, cities.  Guns will be taken, bank accounts will be depleted by outside sources.

The warnings go on and on - the world is "going to hell in a hand basket". 

How easy it would be to get carried away in the "tsunami" of fear, worry, panic.  Digging deeper into the articles running under the eye catching headlines, you find He is there.

Everywhere you look there are signs of the constant rumbling of the destruction of sin in this world.  Amongst those signs is also the exciting gift of hope. 

It depends on your focus if you see that hope.  It depends on your trust, if you accept His Hope.

His Word is God inspired and everything He is.  It is alive, solid and shoots straight from the hip.  There isn't a hidden agenda laying under the headlines, He doesn't hide behind worthless words.  He promises, "there is nothing new under the sun".  Our life here, is all about Spiritual Warfare.

His Word - His Word is Truth. 

"In this godless world, we will - not might - will, encounter difficulties". 

It is our choice where to place our trust. 

Will it be in the lie of the "headlines" or the Words of His Truth, living life "being unshakable and assured, deeply at peace". 

For eternity.

No matter the difficulties we will encounter.  

"In today's headlines:  Old Faithful - There is no evidence that a catastrophic eruption at Yellowstone National Park (YNP) is imminent. Current geologic activity at Yellowstone has remained relatively constant since earth scientists first started monitoring some 30 years ago. Though another caldera-forming eruption is theoretically possible, it is very unlikely to occur in the next thousand or even 10,000 years."

So, wanna spend the next 1000 to 10,000 years, living in and as the world, waiting for the "big one"?

Or "In" Him.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

"When I am Judas" - 10/29/13 - Matthew 26:1-5, 26:14-30, Mark 14:1-2, 10-26, Luke 22:1-30, John 13:1-30

"Judas, with the piece of bread, left. It was night."(John 13:30)

The last thing that Christ gave him, a piece of bread.  I imagine the gentleness, love that Christ had as He handed it to Judas.  Telling Him, "“What you must do,” said Jesus, “do. Do it and get it over with.”(27).  How just before this He dipped it into the wine which represented His blood.....

I wonder what Judas did with this last gift.  Did he fling it away from him in disgust, anger, fear, as soon as he was outside?  Or did he carry it in his hand, forgotten, in his haste to betray Christ.  Stuffing it into his pocket and finding it later - wadded up, dried or moldy.  Did it bring to mind Christ face, His hand as He handed him this last gift. 

My heart breaks when I read - "left.  It was night." 

So often after a time of communion with Him, eating the bread and drinking the juice that represents His body and blood, I too have "left".  I go from day to night in my thoughts or actions - sometimes both.  I know that satan cannot enter into me, as I am full of the Holy Spirit being in His covenant, but still I sin.  I share in communion with Him, leaning upon His breast as His favorite disciple did, and then "left" is my choice.  I so hate that about myself.  I so know that I cause deep grief and pain to His heart in some of my choices.  I so know that sometimes I reach into my pocket and find His gift wadded up.....and am reminded.  

I see His face, His hands, look into His eyes as He is on the cross.  I see His overwhelming love and am driven to tears.  I feel that love wash over me - and my heart falls into repentance - again.  I feel His light change my night to day.  And again I am in communion with Him.  I praise Him so much for His grace and mercy.  For His unconditional love.   

 “You’ve no idea how much I have looked forward to eating this Passover meal with you before I enter my time of suffering. It’s the last one I’ll eat until we all eat it together in the kingdom of God.”(Luke 22:15-16)

How He "looks forward" to being with me in communion -

How He desires I be totally focused on Him. 

Saturday, October 26, 2013

"Loving Self" - 10/26/13 - Matthew 22:34-23:39, Mark 12:28-44, Luke 20:41-21:4

 Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”(Matthew 22:37-40)

Our first few mornings of a heavy frost and I am amazed some of the flowers are still looking beautiful. Thankful for the sunshine to help counteract the cold temps and for coveralls, boots, mittens, long unders. I am also thankful how He gives me the needed "wardrobe" for my heart, soul, and mind, each day when going out into the world. Or even when spending the day with "self". Sometimes what my "self" says, thinks, does, is more damaging than the world and satan. There are many moments "self" is my worst enemy. I have been praying for the past few years for ABBA to break my heart for what breaks His. And He is. In this heart transformation, I have come to realize the way I sometimes view, talk to myself is a sin. There are things I have said or thought about me, I would never be towards another.

"He who gets wisdom loves his own soul;
He who keeps understanding will find good." (Proverbs 19:8)

It finally hit me one day, this is one of the keys. He instructs us to love our neighbors as ourselves. I realized I didn't love "me".

 If I didn't love "me", then however was I able to love others? 

The many ways I was putting myself down, was causing me to cut down others, who had traits which reminded me of what I hated about myself.  Thankfully, He has given me the joy and gift of loving "me" - as He loves "me". Not in a self-righteous, conceited, manner - but in wonderment.  By loving "me" as He loves "me", I fell into His arms of security and love.  I am protected and the things going on about "me" - it has finally come to the point, it doesn't matter. 

He is  my "I AM".

It is what He thinks, desires, commands, of me - not others - which matters.   He opened the eyes of my heart to see life isn't about "me", it is a spiritual battle.  Being His, will bring on attacks from the enemy, which I can not take personal, they are directed towards my ABBA, through me. 

Whenever I find myself cutting down, hating, the one He made in His image - "me", His Word confirms, through the total package I am looking at, He has produced many blessings.  From being a vessel for Him, as a wife, our children, our "family", enabling me to live and work for Him.

He transformed "my" distorted vision through His wisdom - He led my heart to "find good" in "me". 

"Keeps understanding" - only by constantly consuming His personal love letter to "me". 

Praying you will learn the complete Fruits of the Spirit through Proverbs 19:8.

Friday, October 25, 2013

"They" - 10/25/13 - Matthew 21:28-22:33, Mark 12:1-27, Luke 20:9-40

"Try as they might, they couldn’t trap Him into saying anything incriminating. His answer caught them off guard and left them speechless." (Luke 20:26)

It is a guarantee -  "they"  will come -  "they"  will lay in wait -  "they"  will try and trip up -

  "you"  - The Vessel For God. 

"They"  will try to trap  "you"  - The Vessel For God.

"They"  are those who will come to dislike or even hate,  "you"  - The Vessel For God.

"They"  are those who do not like what they see in  "you"  - The Vessel For God - because it brings out the worst of  "them".

"They"  are those who refuse to see  "you"  - The Vessel For God - the way He has made  "you"  - reborn "in" Him.

"They"  will always be around  "you"  - in your life's path - making sure  "you"  - The Vessel For God - know how  "they"  perceive  "you". 

"They"  will always be there - to judge  "you"  - bully  "you"  - condemn  "you"  - try to change  "you"  back into what  "you"  were - sometimes dismiss and ignore  "you" .   "You"  -  The Vessel For God.

"They"  and God - do not, can not, mix. 

"They"  are into serving  "self"  - not God. 

In my encounters with  "they"  - I have found simply stepping back and not saying anything, often works more than if I were to speak.  I have experienced time after time, when I let my Abba handle the situation -  "they"  haven't a leg to stand on.  I have experienced time after time, when I stand on/in His Word,  "they"  back away from His Truth. 

It amazes me how  "they"  become so overconfident  "they"  feel  "they"  are above God. 

Thankfully, I am His.  He is mine.  I am covered by His Grace, Mercy, Forgiveness, through my Savior. 



There are times.

I take on the characteristics of  "they". 

There are times when I fool myself that I am able to put  "self"  above God and live life  "my"  way.  It is during these moments, time and time again, I fall into the traps set before me, from  "self"  or  "they"  or  satin. 

"Me"  - A Vessel For God -  have learned, it is only "in" Him, am  "I"  - A Vessel For God,  able to stand firm against   "they"........

"satan" .............

or  "self".

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

"Give It All" - 10/21/13 - Matthew 19:1-30, Mark 10:1-31, Luke 18:9-30

 “If you want to give it all you’ve got,” Jesus replied, “go sell your possessions; give everything to the poor. All your wealth will then be in heaven. Then come follow Me.”   That was the last thing the young man expected to hear. And so, crestfallen, he walked away. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and he couldn’t bear to let go.  As He watched him go, Jesus told His disciples, “Do you have any idea how difficult it is for the rich to enter God’s kingdom? Let Me tell you, it’s easier to gallop a camel through a needle’s eye than for the rich to enter God’s kingdom.”  The disciples were staggered. “Then who has any chance at all?”
Jesus looked hard at them and said, “No chance at all if you think you can pull it off yourself. Every chance in the world, if you trust God to do it.” (Matthew 19:21-26)

Yesterday, Katie returned to Columbia after a weekend home from college.  When they asked me to ride along, I was excited to spend time with her and Teresa.  I was trying to finish up the laundry - work clothes in particular - and thought about the bookwork, bids, work that isn't started or completed - inside/outside the house, etc.  While thinking about all of this, I thought too about the "unfinished" which would be left behind, if we were in a fatal wreck.  I am ashamed at how I mismanage my time, and am striving to do better.  Thankfully, instead of beating myself up, ABBA is showing me improvement and encourages me to continue on the "better stewardship track" of my journey. 

I also began thinking of "who" I would be leaving behind.

I was driving, because Teresa hasn't very good vision at night.  I was going the speed limit - 70 - and thankful for the bright, full moon.  It was standing there, beside the road.  His head lifted up, regardless of the weight of the huge rack it sported.  I knew it wasn't going to turn around, but head straight across the road in front of me.  Hitting the brakes, the car quickly slowed down and the buck ran across the road a few feet in front of us.  We knew, ABBA had protected us.  The whole incident could have went a totally different direction.  And we immediately gave Him praise and thanksgiving.

Yes, I am looking forward to going "home" just not right now.  I strive to live as though I am dying.  But wonder, is it sin to want to still be here?  To be with those I love?  Does that mean I am loving them more than Him?  Not things, but persons I am clinging to?  He knows when my days are finished, He knows my weakness, He knows my heart so much better than I do, He knows I love Him more than those I "hold on to tightly".  What kind of steward am I in my time, our home, my heart.  Have I emptied myself of self to be totally filled with Him?  How I love His Word, but am I living it? 

He tells me, my time will come when He calls me Home.  Until then, my stewardship will continue.  To not focus on how I am doing with letting go, but bringing along, making Disciples.  For He has blessed me in knowing, without a doubt, those I am saddened to leave, will one day also be called Home.  Home together, "in" eternity with Him.  It's okay to be torn about leaving - for they are my "taste of Heaven" here on this earth. 

Don't take your "taste of Heaven" for granted.  Don't limit your "taste of Heaven" to a selected few.  As you live, as you go, make Disciples for Him - ever growing your "family"  that we will one day celebrate together - HOME.  

"AGAIN" - 10/22/13 - Matthew 20:1-34, Mark 10:32-52, Luke 18:31-19:27

He yelled, “Jesus! Son of David! Mercy, have mercy on me!”
Those ahead of Jesus told the man to shut up, but he only yelled all the louder, “Son of David! Mercy, have mercy on me!”
Jesus stopped and ordered him to be brought over. When he had come near, Jesus asked, “What do you want from me?”
 He said, “Master, I want to see again.”
Jesus said, “Go ahead—see again! Your faith has saved and healed you!” The healing was instant: He looked up, seeing—and then followed Jesus, glorifying God. Everyone in the street joined in, shouting praise to God."(Luke 18:38-43)


How often does my sin blind me to Him?  Do I choose to take my focus off of Him and my soul is blinded to His grace and mercy?  How often do I choose to pick up "doubt" and become blind by my guilt and shame? 

I don't believe in the theory "once saved always saved".  Through Scripture, I know ABBA will never forsake me, but I can forsake Him.  I can elect to turn my back and walk away from Him with a hardened heart.  It is my action of removing myself from His presence that separates me from Him, not ABBA pushing me out. 

He is all about grace and mercy and forgiveness.

I know through Scriptures, when I accepted Christ as my Savior, His blood cleansed me.  Through Him, ABBA sees me as Holy.  Nothing I have done, except accepting the gift of Christ, did that.

Yet, after receiving this gift of eternity, I will take the steps heading for the wide road.   I am so thankful for the road map of His Word, for the guidance of The Holy Spirit, to put me back on the straight and narrow path. 

The path - I walk in faith - when at times it seems harder than I can handle.  When it brings about division from those of the world.  I must trust as the blind man did.  He has total control.  I just have to believe in His Words - "Go ahead, see again!"

"His Reflection" - 10/16/13 - Luke 11:14-12:34

"A constantly squabbling family falls to pieces. If Satan cancels Satan, is there any Satan left? You accuse me of ganging up with the Devil, the prince of demons, to cast out demons, but if you’re slinging devil mud at me, calling me a devil who kicks out devils, doesn’t the same mud stick to your own exorcists? But if it’s God’s finger I’m pointing that sends the demons on their way, then God’s kingdom is here for sure." (Luke 11:17-20)

His Word is a reflection of Him.  Those in Christ are a reflection of Him.  A mirror for which we are able to look into.  How many times when we look into that mirror, we see the ugliness of self looking back?  What an opportunity to grow in Him.  And yet, more often than not, we sling mud.  Trying to cover up the image of Christ, so our image looks better.  They say, that which bothers you most about someone, is what bothers God, and ourselves, most about you.  Generally, we do not like accountability nor do we welcome it.  It is hard to let go, admit, see our faults.  I pray in each mud slinging event I encounter, whether it be myself slinging or someone else, I learn the lesson ABBA is providing for me.  If there is self getting in the way of His image - I don't want to cover it up with mud - I want to be rid of it! 

“This is war, and there is no neutral ground. If you’re not on my side, you’re the enemy; if you’re not helping, you’re making things worse."(Luke 11:23) 
I don't want to be dressed in mud, I want to wear His Armor.  May I take the mud slung at me, as water on a ducks back, never forgetting this is a spiritual war and it isn't about "me".  May I remember the times I have slung mud, thinking it was at another, and actually it is at my Savior.  May I remember He turned to cover me with His grace, mercy and forgiveness and love.  May I never hide the Lamp of His Light, with my "self".  May I not sling the mud of bitterness, anger, revenge, etc.  May I be a reflection of Him - on the winning side.

“No one lights a lamp, then hides it in a drawer. It’s put on a lamp stand so those entering the room have light to see where they’re going. Your eye is a lamp, lighting up your whole body. If you live wide-eyed in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. Keep your eyes open, your lamp burning, so you don’t get musty and murky. Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room.”(Luke 11:33-36)

"Become" - 10/08/13 - Matthew 9:27-10:42. 13:53-58, Mark 6:1-13, Luke 9:1-6

He touched their eyes and said, “Become what you believe.” (Matthew 9:29)

He has touched the eyes of my soul - and I have become what I believe.


A woman after His own heart.

"Become" - a word of action. a word of faith. stepping out away from what my comfort zone was. He warns of the division. stand firm. "Become". believe His Word. know His Word. "Become" what He says, don't pick and choose to suit self. take it all in and prune from self that which is not Him.


seven letters into such a powerful Word!

What do you Believe?

What have you "Become"?

"Close Your Eyes" - 10/04/13 - Matthew 8:5-13, 11:1-30, Luke 7:1-50

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of Grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

"Unforced rhythms of Grace".

Close your eyes and imagine yourself walking through this world. 

Are you bent over, carrying the burden of shame, guilt, mantles of sin?  Or are you upright, dressed in His Armor, gliding across the path in His Sonshine, as a dancer on the stage?

"I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you."

His Armor - perfectly fitting.  Unlike the Armor of old which could weigh up to 150 pounds, His armor is light and perfectly tailored.  Perfectly tailored to meet your needs.  For anything and all things you will come up against.  An Armor which is given to you by Him.  Our Christ.  Our Savior, who has gone before us, conquering sin.  Our ABBA.  Our Leader, who goes before us, directing our steps. 

"Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly."

Keep company with Him.  Not just sometimes, but all times.  In all ways.  In all places.  Keep company with Him. 

Close your eyes and picture where it is you live. 

Is it in the darkness of sin, shame, guilt?  Or is it in His Light?  His all powerful Light which cast out all darkness. 

Close your eyes..........

do you see yourself dancing with your ABBA? 

"Trash Day" - 09/26/13 - Matthew 2:1-3:17, Mark 1:2-11, Luke 2:41-3:18, 3:21-22

"But John intervened: “I’m baptizing you here in the river. The main character in this drama, to whom I’m a mere stagehand, will ignite the kingdom life, a fire, the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out. He’s going to clean house—make a clean sweep of your lives. He’ll place everything true in its proper place before God; everything false he’ll put out with the trash to be burned.” (Luke 3:16-17)

Apparently, it is trash day! Not once, but twice, ABBA spoke the same thing in verses today. "But John intervened: “I’m baptizing you here in the river. The main character in this drama, to whom I’m a mere stagehand, will ignite the kingdom life, a fire, the Holy Spirit within you, changing you from the inside out. He’s going to clean house—make a clean sweep of your lives. He’ll place everything true in its proper place before God; everything false he’ll put out with the trash to be burned.” (Luke 3:16-17)

So, have you placed your trash on the curb or still harboring it in your Temple? Sin is so much like garbage - it starts out as something you like and before you know it - it has a stench the permeates your whole home (aka Temple). And sitting here, reading His Word, I wonder silently to myself, what is it about garbage that I even want to keep it?

Heading down to the bottoms and what a beautiful day for mowing there! Excited to be under His blue, blue skies and eager to see the cloud display He has today. Praying my thoughts will be His, my actions will reflect Him, my Words will be His - just not wanting to take any trash to ruin the gift of today He has blessed me with. I am in the process of ridding myself from a whole garbage dump which has been sitting in my core for as long as I can remember. Any prayers for this removal are greatly appreciated! So thankful for all He has blessed, fortified, equipped me with -The Holy Spirit, His Word, Christ, Him, and His Family I belong to!

Pray you enjoy your Thursday -

                                                                     don't forget - it's trash day - leave it at the curb.

"By the Light of the Moon" - 09/20/13 - Nehemiah 8:13-10:39

Blessed be your glorious name,
    exalted above all blessing and praise!
You’re the one,
    God, you alone;
You made the heavens,
    the heavens of heavens, and all angels;
The earth and everything on it,
    the seas and everything in them;
You keep them all alive;
    heaven’s angels worship you!" (9:5-6)

Curt returned home from Bible Study, which I missed, and asked if I had seen the moon. Wow!!! 

What a beautiful scene our ABBA has painted tonight - I love His living canvas. Sitting on the back steps with my boyfriend, catching up on our day, stopping conversation, listening to His sounds. Drinking in the light of the moon, which is shining so brightly through the lacy design of the clouds, as they waltz across the sky. Even the scent of a skunk, wafting through the air, is unable to spoil the beauty of this night. It is moments like these I see how great is His love. How great is He, who created all of nature for our enjoyment. What an Awesome Abba we have. His greatness brings me to my knees in worship. The crispness of the night wraps around me, much as The Holy Spirit wraps around my heart, my soul, my mind. Even though the huge vastness of the skies are above me, His Word comes to mind, giving me comfort and closeness. I know He is here, with and within me, on our back steps.

Delighting in me - delighting in Him.

Take a moment and go outside - He loves showing off for you.

"Pharaseeism" - 10/19/13 - Luke 14:25-17:10, John 11:1-37

ABBA has put into my mind this verse,  "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32).  I had been allowing myself to pick up doubt when attacked by self.  Doubting if I really did believe.  If I really was, "what I seemed to be". 

He has taken these words and led me to see - I AM HIS. 

My heart, soul, mind, are totally sold out for Him.  I abide "in" Him.  I continually am striving to be more Christlike.  Not for my own glory, but His.  I have realized, His Truth - it sets me free from all bondage.  From my past sins.  Sins I committed when I did not walk "in" Him.  Sins I would not even be tempted to commit today, because He has removed those desires from my heart.  I rest assured I am His.  He desires me.  He loves me.  He sees me as Pure and Holy, because I have Christ in my heart.  I love His Word.  I love The Holy Spirit who guides me.  Who I strive to follow. 

I am not by any means declaring I am perfect, or better than anyone else.  A sin is a sin, and I do sin.  The difference in who I am today versus yesterday, is I am striving to take His avenue of escape from temptations more often than not.  I have prayed my heart will break over what breaks His, and it is happening.  I also know by standing in His Truth, I am free from the mantles of scapegoat and shame the world wants you to wear.   He has opened my eyes in how wearing those mantles, others will heap their blame upon me, bullying me to become what they think I should be.  Standing up "in" Him, feels almost hard hearted, refusing the unwarranted blame, because it is being totally out of my comfort zone. 

But, He is showing me, I am standing in His Truth.   

Finally, His opinion of me is all I am concerned about.  I no longer care what others say, think about me.  As long as I am walking His way, not causing someone to stumble in their walk, I know I am heading the right way.  He is showing me being a Pharisee, isn't all it was cut out to be.  It is not a "club" I want to belong to and thankfully, because of Him, I never fit into it.  

It is actually heading towards hell. 

And I do not want to be apart from Him. 

In this life or the next. 

Sunday, October 06, 2013

"Truth comes out - Always" - 07/30/13 - Jeremiah 2:23-5:19

"But you, God,
    you have an eye for truth, don’t you?" (5:3)

I read this today.


Curt and I were discussing how Abba has removed from me the "need" to defend myself when attacked.  I have realized He defends me, as long as I am walking "in" His Truth. 

What a burden, which has been lifted from me, by recognizing and accepting this.  My Abba is "my" Commander in Chief.  He is in control, even when it looks like the lies are bigger, He will and does prevail.  

There was the moment when I was physically in the midst of being ganged up on with lies , and I could see Him standing before me, facing them, His Hand stretched out to me, telling me, "I've got this".   I heard Him tell say, "enough, no longer do you have to fall victim".  And amazingly, I kept my mouth shut.  There were so many words, running through my mind in retaliation, defending myself, and His Words came in louder.  "Pearls before swine".  He helped me realize, nothing I said would be heard, even words of Truth. 

It is amazing how "fighting" this warfare, utilizing His way, has changed my heart.  By doing so, I am not wallowing in self pity.   The lies and blame game strategy are even laughable.  Thankfully, I am not in a self-righteous way, just dumbfounded.  Dumbfounded that I once fell under the spell and thought I had to defend myself from such outlandish lies. 

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

In choosing to do this, it frees me in being able to focus on Him, not myself.  To continue being a vessel for Him, allowing Him to use me to touch others, making disciples "as I live".   Looking back at the times I was "defending" myself, I was sinking in quicksand.  I was allowing myself to believe the lies of satan, that I could do it myself - I didn't have a strong foundation. 

I pray I will continue seeing life through His eyes.  I pray I will continue to keep my mouth shut and let Him prevail. 

"But you, God,
    you have an eye for truth, don’t you?"

I am learning, He doesn't need my help to have Truth come out. 

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

"His Delight" - 07/27/13 - Isaiah 58:1-63:14

"You’ll get a brand-new name
    straight from the mouth of God.
You’ll be a stunning crown in the palm of God’s hand,
    a jeweled gold cup held high in the hand of your God.
No more will anyone call you Rejected,
    and your country will no more be called Ruined.
You’ll be called Hephzibah (My Delight),
    and your land Beulah (Married),
Because God delights in you
    and your land will be like a wedding celebration.
For as a young man marries his virgin bride,
    so your builder marries you,
And as a bridegroom is happy in his bride,
    so your God is happy with you." (62:2-5)

Sometimes, I wonder what my new name will be.  Will it be a name I have never heard, can't even begin to pronounce?  What will it mean?  Whenever I think of myself as "Deby", it just doesn't fit.  I don't feel like a Deby or Deborah.  

In life, the world wants us to believe we are a burden and how thankful to find I am actually a blessing.  The world's view is ever changing because of its double standards, and you will find yourself back to being a burden.


Again, the battle within me fires up.  Belief of words, treatment, as truth or His Word as Truth. 

He then reminds me there isn't anyone who knows me better than He does, nor is there anyone who loves me more than He does. 

He brings to my mind, Curt.  Not another human has lived with me for as long.  Not another human knows every side of me, inside and out, and loves me as he does.  Our sons - the same.  I am loved by those who really "know" me.  Who see I am what I seem to be - a lover of Abba.  He has surrounded me with His family, the family I belong in and to.  His family, who know me, accept me, and love me - unconditionally. 

So when I come up against the world,  I am learning to stand in and on His Truth. 

I have His Word.  I know and believe. 

"Because God delights in me
    and my land will be like a wedding celebration.
For as a young man marries his virgin bride,
    so my builder married me,
And as a bridegroom is happy in his bride,
    so my God is happy with me."


My Abba calls me Hephzibah  (His Delight),
    and my land Beulah (Married),

"My Savior Who Died and Rose for Me" - 07/26/13 - Isaiah 52:13-57:21

He took on His own shoulders the sin of the many,
    He took up the cause of all the black sheep. (53:12)

I pray as you read this, you won't just skim over the words. 
I pray they will hit your heart in what our Abba did/does because of how much He loves you.   


 What are you putting before your Abba? Your Savior? The Holy Ghost? His Word? Being "in" an intimate relationship with Him? Are you His fan or His follower?

 A Story of True Love..........

At the age of 33, Jesus was condemned to the death penalty.

At the time crucifixion was the "worst" death. Only the worst criminals
condemned to be crucified. Yet it was even more dreadful for Jesus unlike other criminals condemned to death by crucifixion, Jesus was to be nailed to the cross by His hands and feet.

Each nail was 6 to 8 inches long.

The nails were driven into His wrist.
Not into His palms as is commonly portrayed.
There's a tendon in the wrist that extends to the shoulder.
The Roman guards knew that when the nails
were being hammered into the wrist,
that tendon would tear and break, forcing Jesus
to use His back muscles to support himself
so that He could breathe.

Both of His feet were nailed together.
Thus He was forced to support Himself on the single nail
that impaled His feet to the cross.
Jesus could not support himself with His legs
because of the pain, so He was forced to alternate
between arching His back then using his legs just to continue to breathe.
Imagine the struggle, the pain, the suffering, the courage.

Jesus endured this reality for over 3 hours.

Yes, over 3 hours!
Can you imagine this kind of suffering?
A few minutes before He died,
Jesus stopped bleeding.
He was simply pouring water from his wounds.

From common images, we see wounds to His hands
and feet and even the spear wound to His side...
But do we realize His wounds were actually made in his body.
A hammer driving large nails through the wrist,
the feet overlapped and an even large nail
hammered through the arches,
then a Roman guard piercing His side with a spear.
But before the nails and the spear,
Jesus was whipped and beaten.
The whipping was so severe that it tore the flesh from His body.
The beating so horrific that His face was torn
and his beard ripped from His face.
The crown of thorns cut deeply into His scalp.
Most men would not have survived this torture.

He had no more blood to bleed out,
only water poured from His wounds.
The human adult body contains about 3.5 liters
(just less than a gallon) of blood.

Jesus poured all 3.5 liters of his blood;
He had three nails hammered into His members;
a crown of thorns on His head and, beyond that,
a Roman soldier who stabbed a spear into His side.

All these without mentioning the humiliation
He passed after carrying His own cross for almost2 kilometers,
while the crowd spat in his face and threw stones
(the cross was almost 30 kg of weight, only for its higher part,
where His hands were nailed).

Jesus had to endure this experience,
so that we can have free access to God.

So that our sins could be "washed" away.
All of them, with no exception!

                                                             JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR US!

Take a moment to appreciate the power of God
in your life, for doing what pleases Him.

"Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others,
I also will acknowledge before My Father in heaven;
but whosoever denies Me before others,
I also will deny before My Father in heaven." (Matthew 10:32 & 33):

Yes, I love God.
He is my source of life and my Savior.
He keeps me alive day and night.
Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13).

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. (John 14:27)

It’s with lasting love
    that I’m tenderly caring for you. (Isaiah 54:8)
Any accuser who takes you to court
    will be dismissed as a liar.
This is what God’s servants can expect.
    I’ll see to it that everything works out for the best.”
        God’s Decree. (Isaiah 54:17)


"You held tight to my lifeline" - 07/22/13 - 2 Kings 20:1-19, Isaiah 38:1-39:8, 2 Chronicles 32:24-31

"It seems it was good for me
    to go through all those troubles.
Throughout them all You held tight to my lifeline.
    You never let me tumble over the edge into nothing." (Isaiah 38:17)

"God left him on his own to see what he would do; He wanted to test his heart." (2 Chronicles 32:31)

I struggle with doubt, trust, faith.  Often times, throughout the years, I have wondered if He loved me as He says He does.  The part I wrestle with isn't His loving others, the whole world, it is His loving me.  I do not feel worthy.  I struggle with believing lies and reacting as a victim, to believing and standing In His Truth.

To separate what I have been conditioned with by the world, from His Word. 

Even though my mind knows how He actually did/does protect me, my heart still wallows occasionally in the mire of lies.  I am struggling to "be thankful in all things".  I struggle with jealousy, knowing there are some who have been raised with those who stand so strongly "in" Him and wish I could have been a part of that.  When He reminds me, I wouldn't be "who" I am today, if I hadn't withstood the "troubles" of my past, I am ashamed of my doubt in His being in control of all.  I know because I live in this world, I will and have been affected by the consequences of the choices of sin. 

So many times in my past, I have yearned for death, but I was too chicken to actually carry out a plan of suicide.  I see now, looking back, He was there, right beside me in that dark, cold, empty place.  Right beside me on the very edge of something, overlooking the abyss of nothingness.  Today I recognize it was His Hand taking me and leading me back to His Land through His Word.  For the last 15 years I have chosen to journey through His Word every day.  How He is peeling from me, the layers of doubt, mistrust, and lies, to see His Truth. 

Today we are at my very inner core. 

There are lies He is showing me I have to "shake the dust" from.  To leave behind my putting them before God and believing what they say, how they treat me, is Truth.  This is exactly what I have been doing all these years in choosing to believe lies of the world, in trying to win their approval, conditional love, live by their double standards.  It has been like a dog chasing its own tail - getting nowhere and wearing out. 

Doubt - satans only tool. 

"God left him on his own to see what he would do; He wanted to test his heart."

He is seeing if I am going to continue picking doubt up or cast it aside and utilize His Truth. 

Even though it is foreign, scary, uncomfortable, and sometimes seemingly cruel, I am finding more and more, doubt is being cast aside.  He is transforming my heart to be thankful for all things, because it has brought me into Him. 

No longer am I standing at the edge.

"It seems it was good for me
    to go through all those troubles.
Throughout them all you held tight to my lifeline.
    You never let me tumble over the edge into nothing."

"Birdhouses or Canoes" - 07/16/13 - Isaiah 18:1-23:18

"On that Day" (18:16) 

No matter the day -
                     He is in control. 

Every day, He gives me free choice, as to what my attitude and outlook will be. 

And there are consequences - good or bad of my choice. 

Looking like another hot one out today! Our plans for a family canoeing trip have been cancelled until next summer due to a change in schedules. I can either have a self pity party or as one of my post says , "always keep my head up, because if it is down you won't be able to see the blessings that have been placed in my life". 

Thanks to Abba, I am choosing to "keep my head up!"  

 Our evening last night: I requested the five of us each create our own birdhouses.

All of us together, in the shop, creating, helping each other, working on designs, He gave us to create.  Houses which will go up in the new flower bed. A place where I will look out the window and be reminded how I couldn't stop smiling last night, watching ..."my" family create together. 

I love that Amber made a bat house.

I so love seeing how she delights in life, being around Nichalas and his silly sense of humor, how serious Adam takes this design project, Curt's creativity - seeing the gifts and talents Abba has given my family of five building "His birdhouses" in their lives.  

Sharing with Amber, yet another reason I love having her as family - the odd number of five birdhouses will look much better than the even number of four.  Her eyes got really big as she shared she had just read that in an article about decorating.

 Talking with Nichalas yesterday in how Abba has changed my heart, removing the bitterness, anger, self pity, jealousy, when time spent isn't "fair". Nichalas said he is thankful because of the joy he sees in me, for the burden lifted knowing it had caused me pain and he felt responsible for bringing about some of those feeling. How ashamed and sorrowful I felt, recognizing my selfishness, keeping count, not taking the blessings I did get and being thankful - for wanting more - put upon our child. Such gratefulness in his forgiving me, as I grow through this season of being a MIL, for his heart which is so full of grace and mercy. How I delight in our sons and daughter's hearts, being totally of their own faith, sold out "in" Him.

Abba has made me realize too, how often when I am so wrapped up in "myself", keeping count in the unfairness of life, I am hurting His heart. Saying the innumerable blessings He showers upon me - aren't enough. To take those blessings and throw them back into His face. Putting myself in His place by determining what I think is better.

I love how He is opening my eyes to the "ripples" of all my choices, to how many and how deeply they will touch. I am so thankful He continues to transform my heart so "ripples" glorify Him.

To focus on "birdhouses" rather than "canoe trips".

"Swimming the Current" - 07/10/13 - Psalm 107, 111-114

"Unfazed by rumor and gossip,
Heart ready, trusting in God,
Spirit firm, unperturbed,
Ever blessed, relaxed among enemies" (112:7-8)

At times, it is hard to stand firm "in" Him. 

There are times when we feel we are swimming against the current,  not making progress, becoming tired, weak, coughing from the water entering into our lungs as our noses dip beneath the surface or the waves splash into our faces.  The times when we are focused on nothing more than the current and not the end of the journey - when we begin to lose hope of ever progressing through to the end. 

It is at those times we most need to reach down deep and rely on His Word. 

On Him.

Often times, when someone swims the English Channel, there is a person following along side of them in a boat.  They are there as a guide, safety, encouragement, nourishment, or even just a voice in the dark.

That is my Abba.  He isn't just in the boat though, at times He even slips into the dark waters to help me as I am weak.  Holding me up, pulling me through, allowing me to rest "in" Him.  The more I fight alone, the more I am unable to stay afloat. 

It is only through Him, the world and its attacks, are filtered out.  My "current" right now is going through the process of "shaking the dust".  "Swimming" through these waters has been a process which if allowed, would steal my joy.  Every day I am fighting the urge to obsess about different situations, rehearsing in my mind words to use to defend myself, taking my focus off of Him.  At times, picking up doubt and wondering if all I am and have experienced, is it real or has my view distorted everything? 

That is when I rely on Him.  The family "in" Him.  Those who are deep into His Word, as I am, to use the gift of discernment. 

And from His boat, He reassures me.  He gets into the waters with me, enveloping me, protecting me.  Whispering in my ear to focus on, listen to, rest and rely on - Him.

And I "swim" on -

""Unfazed by rumor and gossip,
Heart ready, trusting in God,
Spirit firm, unperturbed,
Ever blessed, relaxed among enemies"

"His Line in the Sand" - 07/06/13 - Psalm 1-2, 10, 33, 71, 91

My God, free me from the grip of Wicked,
    from the clutch of Bad and Bully.
You keep me going when times are tough—
    my bedrock, God, since my childhood.
I’ve hung on You from the day of my birth,
    the day You took me from the cradle;
    I’ll never run out of praise." (71:4-7)

It has been difficult, throughout the years, to separate who God really is from the examples of "love" in this world.  Too many years I spent believing He loved as some of the humans - conditional, based upon performance, double standards, favoritism, even status.  Not until I started digging into His Word, did I start to see how He is just the opposite of all I was believing "love" was. 

His Word has removed the "clutch" of lies which held me down in the pit of life. 

There have been different times I can look back upon and see I was removing myself from those who were keeping me down.  In doing so, I was ganged up on, bullied, ostracized, made fun of, ignored, treated like an outcast.  You would have thought when their "true colors" came out, I would have seen they weren't loving as Christ loves.  Yet, I still would find myself running back into the pit. 

It was scary drawing the line in the sand and not moving it.  Being in the pit was the only thing I had ever known. 

I felt alone.  Unsure. 

I was picking up doubt and second guessing the "line" I had drawn. 

Often, I would erase and move it.  Covering up the "me" He created and conforming to what "they" wanted, fooling myself I was fitting in.  Comforting myself in thinking it was better to be back in the role of being "unaccepted", because it was all I had ever known. 

His Word has caused me to realign my vision onto Him and this time, He drew the line in the sand.  I have put my Trust and Faith in Him, no longer do I allow them to hold a power over me.  The difference now, as I stand firm "in" Him, seeing the faces of the "Bad and Bullies" and hearing their voices threaten me, is He has equipped me with His Armor. 

Armor I have freely taken and learned to dress myself in, to stand firm in, and while focused on Him, I see they are retreating. 

I see now, they are all wind and no blow. 

His Word has also reinforced me while I stand at the line, I am not alone.  He has surrounded me with those who are "in" His Word who reaffirm whose I am.  Who reaffirm I am standing "in" and "on" His Truth. 

His Word has introduced me to my Abba - one who loves unconditionally, without double standards or blatant favoritism, without being bad or a bully. 

The One who loves Whose we are not who. 

How I praise Him, even without knowing I was doing so, I was searching Him out since I was a child.  Even when I was searching in the pit of life, He never let go of me - for I am His anointed.  We all are.  It is our choice to accept being His or reject it.  His Word has given me the desire to choose Him.   

 "I’ll never run out of praise" for how He has shown and given me real love. 

"Suspense Removed" - 07/05/13 - Psalm 47-49, 84,85,87

"And how blessed all those in whom You live,
    whose lives become roads You travel;
They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks,
    discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain!
God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and
    at the last turn—Zion! God in full view!"  (84:5-7)

I love "whose lives become roads You travel". 

Knowing because of my choice to walk with my Abba, no longer do I walk alone.  Not that I did, it is just now I recognize Him. 

I hate surprises.  The suspense of not knowing.  When I go to a movie, I like to know the ending beforehand.  Otherwise, the suspense ruins it for me. 

How He has taken that from me......becoming my security, my leader, my road map.  No longer am I wandering down the road of life - lost.  Exposed to the elements, the dangers - hidden and seen.  He is my protector.  My shield. 

He has told me the "ending" of my journey  - it is with Him - eternally.  No longer do I wander, I walk with confidence.  Knowing each step I take, is a step taken with and "In" Him.  Even when I take a wrong turn, because I have let go of His Hand and decided to take my own lead, He is still there.  Sometimes gently, sometimes with a push or pull, setting me back on the right path. 

He has taken the suspense of "not knowing" from my journey.  No longer do the "surprises" which pop up, frighten me or cause me to doubt.  Much of the time, they delight me, because I am focusing on Him, no longer on the fear of the unknown.  I am seeing my journey through His eyes and celebrating life "In" Him. 

Knowing - all things are for His glory - sharing "my journey" with Him. 

"Puppets" - 05/31/13 - Proverbs 14:1-16:33

 "The evil of bad people leaves them out in the cold;
    the integrity of good people creates a safe place for living." (14:32)

It seems that those outside of Christ always have "puppets", standing in their shadow and supporting all they do, as though they are god.  It is when you really look, even though they may be surrounded by crowds, they are still alone and in the cold.  They aren't covered "in" Christ blood, which binds them together - heart to heart - to others - to God. 

They are always searching, often times destroying any who are in their paths.  Even those who are in their following. 

All is for their "self".   

For the past few years, we have been meeting almost every Wednesday night for Bible Study.  It is within this "family" that I have grown, been held accountable, loved, cherished, honored, lifted up.  I have found "a safe place for living". 

A place where I can be the me He created me to be and am accepted. 

Always, I was on the outside looking in.  The world is ruled by the puppet masters, those with double standards, using others as a scapegoat, leaving some living "in the cold".  Today, He has given me my "family" through His church and I recognize them because of His Word.  I am able to determine through His Word, who lives life for and in Him, from their fruits.  Those that are in Him, are continually striving to be Christlike in their walk.  I see in them grace, mercy, forgiveness, and most of all, unconditional love.

This "safe place" consists of fellowship, digging into and consuming His Word.  His Truth.  Growing us as individuals and as family.   

He has transformed my heart, even though it is sorrowful, having been dismissed and rejected, no longer do I desire to be with those who are "out in the cold" - those of the world.  How wonderful it is He had me "never fitting in".  Curt and I have prayed and He has opened our eyes to the Truth of exactly what we have been trying to fit into.  He has given us the "green pastures" of life "in" Him.   My heart breaks for what breaks His, not for self.  No longer am I a part of the equation.  Still, I am on the outside looking in at the world,  except now, I am standing firm In Him and His Truth. 

I am at peace. 

No more am I a puppet to the world who feel it is god.

I have walked away.

I am with others who have " the integrity of good people creates a safe place for living."

My family "in" Him.