Saturday, August 24, 2013

"Motions" - 04/26/13 - I Chronicles 3:5-9, 14:3-7, 20:1, 2 Samuel 5:14-16, 11:1-12:25, Psalm 51

"Going through the motions doesn’t please you,
    a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
    when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
    don’t for a moment escape God’s notice." (Psalm 51:16-17)

She stood at one of the three sinks in the public bathroom.  The one in the corner.  Her stuff was piled on the floor beside her, level with the counter top.  In one hand was the remains of a dirty rag and the other held a small sample bottle of hand sanitizer.  Over and over she continued to wipe down the counter.  Wringing the remnant of the rag under the full force of the water.  When the bottle of sanitizer was empty, she held it under the water, until it was filled up.  At times, she would rest her weary head in her hands as she viewed what she was doing as a never ending job. 
Nichalas says Chicago is a place where you can never be alone, but is one of the loneliest cities in the world. 
She stood there with women surrounding her, the line snaked around and out the door, yet she was in her own world.  Talking to herself, mumbling words I could only pick up here and there.  The anxiousness and anxiety poured out of her eyes like the water pouring out of the faucet. 

Her actions brought to mind these verses.  Her “flawless performance” in cleaning the sink, was only smearing the unseen germs around on the counter top.  Over and over she was going through the motions, all the while using improper tools.  And when she was done, she let go a breath of relief.  Her pride in her work was momentary.  In her mind, she still saw the filth. 

Much as God does when we are trying to remove sin in our lives our way,  or just going through the motions. 

For a number of years, I have been praying that God will break my heart for what breaks His.  I have intentionally ignored the Holy Spirit, as He tapped my shoulder of conscience, while flapping my lips.  I have been so guilty of the sin of malice.  Even though I justified my sin with the fact I was telling ugly truth, it was in malice I was flinging the words about.  In my prideful way, I wanted to hurt as I have been hurt. 

My life has areas that are “heart-shattered”.  In being held accountable by a person who doesn’t care for me, I could have reacted either in defensiveness or in a Christ like manner.  Thankfully, I realized it wasn’t about the person, it was about Him.  I needed to confess, ask forgiveness, and repent to set my heart right "in" Him.  It didn’t depend on the reaction of the person.  Realizing I need to set healthy boundaries to keep my heart pure in Him.  I was trying to cover up issues by pretending or not standing in Truth. 
The setting up of healthy boundaries has brought about “heart shattered lives”.  It means that I cannot be a part of those that tear me down, trying to mold me into what they think I need to be, utilizing their own measuring sticks.  This has created a needed emptiness, brokenness in my heart  to fill and repair. 

With His love. 

No comments: