For a moment, her steps hesitated as she came into the Great Hall. She looked even smaller than the last time we met, a few more lines etched into her face, her eyes not as bright. The results of worry and sadness could be seen, not only in her face, but the way her body had begun to bend even further from the weight of the burdens she carried. I stepped towards her, and for a moment I saw the glimmer of the younger woman I had grown up with, the woman whose sky blue eyes would twinkle as diamonds reflecting the sunshine. Her smile was touched with her heart, as I could tell she missed me. But, before we came together, the shadows of her burdens brought up the walls of defensiveness and protection. There wasn't a hug or touching, just a yearning to.
We left the Great Hall and ventured out into His City. Even though His Sonshine was basking down upon us, she never removed the coat she wore, swallowing up her tiny frame, clutching it tightly around her, afraid to let it open up and expose herself to the elements. She was silent and in deep thought, as we walked over the bridge, looking at the clear waters far below. Passing by the display of the windows of life, she would forget and let out a gasp of pleasure. I could see the farther we came away from the Great Hall, she was also leaving behind the train she had just gotten off and was drinking in the delights He had set before her. Every once in awhile, her hand would find mine as we stepped off the curb into the street. There was fear and distrust as the bustle and noise surrounded her. Even though it was completely safe, I knew the fear and distrust came because she was so out of her element. Out of her comfort zone. She was out of the false sense of security she found while on the train. Time and time again, I could feel her eyes upon my face. And when I would look back at her, I could see the thoughts of wonder, pride, hesitation, sorrow.
It took us most of the morning to reach the far side of the city. There were times when we had to rest, the walk exhausting her. The evidence of life wearing her down and out, can no longer be hidden. I could tell there were moments she wanted to turn back, fear and distrust bringing out another element, that of anger, causing her to desire to be back on the train. Through much of our time together, I was silent, only speaking the words ABBA had given me to say. He gave me the realization this walk, this time together was for her. I was being used as His vessel.
The city behind us, the waters reached out with no shoreline as far as our eyes could see. The waves came in continually, the spray from the cool water touched upon our faces. She grinned in delight. I watched as her steps in the sand began to leave footprints of a dance. Lifting her hands up high, her voice singing praises to our ABBA, she was shedding the burdens from her soul. Casting them into the waters of life.
The sky began to darken. Before we left the waters edge, she ran back and began to pick up her burdens the waves had washed back upon the sand. Her hurried steps brushing the footsteps of her dance into a memory, as she rushed about gathering them up before the fingers of the waves could take them into deeper waters. We started our journey back through His City on our way to The Great Hall, her coat tightly clutched around her. She took my hand. I could see how torn she was about going back to the train or staying with me in His City. "Come, join us on the train", had slipped from her lips throughout the day, except for the time we stood at the waters edge. I had to say no.
ABBA has shown me through His Word of Truth, His Wisdom, I had to get off the train she rode on with the others. He has led me through the Great Hall to His City of Life. To live a Holy Life and be His Vessel to whomever He has decided I need to walk with. Others who have gotten off their train, who have been off and grown wise from their journey, to teach me, so I may teach. And also, those who only get off for a little while. To walk with them through the City, praying they will choose to stay.
And in my prayer for Him to use me as His Vessel, filling my heart with His grace, mercy, forgiveness, and most of all love, perhaps that is what is needed for not only her, but the others, to get off the train and come live "in" His city.
"a healthy, robust community that lives right with God."
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