Wednesday, June 18, 2014

"Reflected" - 06/18/14 - Proverbs 27-29

"Your face mirrors your heart" (27:16)           fun house mirrors

For the most part, I am pretty successful in avoiding my reflection in the mirror.  When I do stand before one, I am usually focusing on the hair, makeup, not my actual self. 

And those moments when I do actually look at me - it is with an overly critical eye. 

I am my worst enemy. 

Since having Adam, I have struggled with my weight.  Before that time, I was thin as a rail and could eat as much of anything I wanted, never gaining an ounce.  It seems I wore my metabolism out during my youth.  The other day I was organizing photos and realized there aren't too many of me.  Seems I am also pretty good about avoiding the camera.  These photos also made me wish I was as "fat" now as I was back then.  Because I am always comparing my body to before pregnancy, I am coming up fat.

And ugly.

"He who gains Wisdom, loves His own soul"(Proverbs 19:8)

To love me as He loves me.  The reason He wants me to do this, is when I do, nothing else matters.  "I" don't matter because all of me is LOVED.

Instead, there are oft times -  

I pick up "doubt".  I begin to view the inside/out of me from the perspective of the world or self.  Comparing, putting down, forgetting.  He created me.  He created all of me.  He created me in His image. 

I know until I die, I have chosen to become more like Christ with each breath I take.  I also know there will be times I fail - often in a big way.  But - who am I to say ugly.  Not perfect.  Not enough.

Who am I to not look at myself as He sees me. 

When looking at myself,  inside and out, I am looking through the distorted image from a sideshow funhouse. 

My ABBA doesn't see fat.  He doesn't see ugly.  He doesn't see flaws I pick out and focus on. 

He sees me as "His Beloved". 

He sees me through His Son. 

My Savior.

He sees my heart as one that is running after Him. 

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