"Like a shepherd He will tend His flock. In His arm He will gather the lambs; And carry them in His bosom" Isaiah 40:11 I find it completely awesome that in this world, I am totally someones. Someone to love me, cherish me, discipline me (in love), someone who will never, ever, ever, leave me. Someone who calls me His very own.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
"Reflected" - 06/18/14 - Proverbs 27-29
"Your face mirrors your heart" (27:16)
For the most part, I am pretty successful in avoiding my reflection in the mirror. When I do stand before one, I am usually focusing on the hair, makeup, not my actual self.
And those moments when I do actually look at me - it is with an overly critical eye.
I am my worst enemy.
Since having Adam, I have struggled with my weight. Before that time, I was thin as a rail and could eat as much of anything I wanted, never gaining an ounce. It seems I wore my metabolism out during my youth. The other day I was organizing photos and realized there aren't too many of me. Seems I am also pretty good about avoiding the camera. These photos also made me wish I was as "fat" now as I was back then. Because I am always comparing my body to before pregnancy, I am coming up fat.
"He who gains Wisdom, loves His own soul"(Proverbs 19:8)
To love me as He loves me. The reason He wants me to do this, is when I do, nothing else matters. "I" don't matter because all of me is LOVED.
Instead, there are oft times -
I pick up "doubt". I begin to view the inside/out of me from the perspective of the world or self. Comparing, putting down, forgetting. He created me. He created all of me. He created me in His image.
I know until I die, I have chosen to become more like Christ with each breath I take. I also know there will be times I fail - often in a big way. But - who am I to say ugly. Not perfect. Not enough.
Who am I to not look at myself as He sees me.
When looking at myself, inside and out, I am looking through the distorted image from a sideshow funhouse.
My ABBA doesn't see fat. He doesn't see ugly. He doesn't see flaws I pick out and focus on.
He sees me as "His Beloved".
He sees me through His Son.
He sees my heart as one that is running after Him.