"I Smile" - 04/15/15 - Psalm 7, 27, 31, 34, 52

 

 

"I trusted in the generous Mercy of God then and now. 

I thank You always that You went into action.

And I'll stay right here,

Your good name my hope,

in company with Your faithful friends." (52:8-9)

Last evening we stood on the back deck, dusk bringing in the shadows to the woods below and around us. My sisters were gathered to dig into His Word through our weekly Bible Study.  We have just started a new study, "The Missing Commandment - Love Yourself", How loving yourself the way God does can bring healing and freedom to your life.  With the study we have added a new element, worship in singing before the book.  

There was such a haunting beauty in the stillness of the woods as the sound of Kathy's flute wove through the air with our voices. I found my heart catching in the profoundness of His Grace and Mercy.  Knowing He was surrounding us in our worship of Him.  Knowing He was delighting in us more than we delight in Him, as I stood "in company with my faithful friends", my sisters in Him. 

I stood looking through the trees and thought about how He has transformed my life.  my heart.  Bringing me to this place where all I want to do is worship Him through all of my actions.  my words. my thoughts.  my all.

I smile, realizing the times are fewer when I do forget where He has brought me through His "generous Mercy". Those times when I will physically cringe. Those moments when my path comes across someone from my past and I pick up and again dress myself in the garment of "shame".

I smile for there are far fewer moments when I allow "shame" to cover up the transformation ABBA has taken and clothed me in.  Much like a ratty, dirty, old bathrobe. 

I smile for He has taken my mind from being focused on the mistakes I made, rather than on His face.  Those times when I focus more at the places of sin I wallowed in, the missed opportunities when I could have been a Vessel for Him and being instead a vessel for and of sin. 

I smile for He has taught me to have less of focusing on me, and more on my Savior. 


My Savior.
who was hung on the cross
and took upon Himself

the
all
of
my
sins. 


the
all
of
my
shame. 



He did this so I could be ABBA's.  So I could live my life intimately "in" His world. 
Eternally. 
My Savior has taken that old bathrobe and cast it aside. 

I smile, knowing there are less moments of forgetting I have vowed to "stay right here, Your good name my hope, in company with Your faithful friends".   I love knowing there are less and less  situations where I go back digging through the decay of garbage, retrieving the bathrobe of sin, and putting it on. Picking up "doubt" and believing the words of lies.  Believing I do not belong with His faithful company.

I smile, hearing when my ABBA begins to speak and I believe.  Softly I hear His Voice, coming from within my heart where I have buried His Words. 

I am cleansed from "shame", from "sin".  I am covered in His Blood. 

I am His. 
I am His Beloved.

He has gently taken my face into His Hands, leading my eyes into His, where I drink in His Truth.  He surrounds me with those who are "in" Him, who see me in love.  Who see me as His.  Who have given me the gift of mercy, as they have been given mercy.  He has placed me "in company with His faithful friends".

And in those moments when needed, He again removes the bathrobe of shame, casting it aside, revealing me still clothed in His Truth.
He leads me back to my place, right there in the company of Him. 

"His good name is my hope".


"Now I won't deny
The worst you could say about me
But I'm not defined by mistakes that I've made...
Because God says of me

I am not who I was
I'm being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved
I am new
Who I thought I was
And who I thought I had to be
I had to give them both up
Cause neither were willing
To ever believe
I am not who I was
I'm being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved
I am new
I am new
Too long have I lived in the shadow of shame
Believing that there was no way I could change
But the one who is making everything new
Doesn't see me the way that I do
He doesn't see me the way that I do
"I am not who I was
I'm being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy and I'm dearly loved
I am new
I am new
I am not who I was
I'm being remade
I am new
Dead to the old man, I'm coming alive
I am new
I am new
Forgiven, beloved
Hidden in Christ
Made in the image of the Giver of Life
Righteous and holy, reborn and remade
Accepted and worthy
This is our new name
This is who we are now..."(Jason Gray)

 

 

 

 

"His Misfit" - 04/14/16 - I Samuel 21-24

"So David got away and escaped to the Cave of Adullam. When his brothers and others associated with his family heard where he was, they came down and joined him. Not only that, but all who were down on their luck came around—losers and vagrants and misfits of all sorts. David became their leader. There were about four hundred in all."(1Sam 22:1,2)


I was never part of the "in" crowd. 

There are many memories tucked away of enduring the "joys" of being made fun of, not included and even bullied.  Until the past few years, I still allowed "bullies" to intimidate me.  To fall back into believing what they saw or said about me was truth.   God has opened my eyes, not only to myself and how He sees me, but also to those who used to intimidate me. I stress "used to".

Some days there are moments which bring up memories I had buried deep. ( Not deep enough obviously.) In trying to fill a void, to fit in, I have done many things I am so ashamed of. Thankfully, God reminds me I haven't been that person for over 30 years and our Savior's death on The Cross has covered me in His Grace and Mercy.  In Forgiveness.   I no longer need to wear the "cloak of shame", for through His Blood I have been made new. 

I am Redeemed. 

In the past, all I wanted was to be included with those who treated me as an outsider. Now - I no longer care. It is because He has filled the void and I am His "misfit". 

He has blessed my life and given me so many treasures - Curt, Adam and Ashley,  Nichalas, and Amber, our grandchildren, Charlie and Ella, and many others.  My life is very rich and very full. He has surrounded me with those I love and am loved back. Those whom I am able to be myself, accepted and know I truly belong in His wonderful family of "misfits"! There aren't enough words to express how very much I love this "family" He has blessed me with. And every day He introduces me to more siblings. How great is our Daddy!

The best part is, I am still a misfit in this world. 

Throughout Scripture,  I look at the people Christ surrounded Himself with and they were mostly the same as the band David had surrounded himself with. Losers and vagrants and misfits of all sorts. 

I see now, being a misfit was actually one of the best things that could have happened to me.
A blessing in disguise.

I love God is able to take the "losers" and make them winners.
I love He is able to take my shame and remove it from me with His forgiveness, grace and mercy.
I love how He has taken my sins and used them for His glory. 
I love how He took the world's rejected and made us totally accepted.
I love He has exchanged the world's measuring stick for His own.

But most of all, I so love knowing - without doubt -  I am one of His "misfits".

 

His Redeemed. 

His Beloved. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"To LOVE As He" - 04/13/16 - I Samuel 18-20, Psalm 11, 59

"He loved David more than his own soul!" (1 Samuel 20:17)



 Paul tells us that he would give up his own soul, if it meant that the lost would be saved. 

That. is. LOVE.

When I think about giving up my own soul for another, there are names which come up immediately.  They are names of those who I am in love with.  They are not strangers, but a part of my life and my heart.  Two of them are partly made up of my genes. 

Without a doubt, without hesitation - I would give up my own soul for all of them. 

Thankfully, I know their souls already belong to our Abba. 

Jonathan loved David as I do these ones I instantly think of.   He was at a Y in the road and had to make a decision of whom to follow - his father or his brother, David.  Although David wasn't his blood brother, he was his brother in God.  Jonathan, took the road to walk with David towards our Abba.  He chose the road causing him to leave his earthly father, King Saul. In doing so, it also meant he was giving up being the heir to the throne. 


He did this for someone he loved and who loved him back.

Paul was offering his own soul for the lost.  Those who didn't know him, nor he them.  Total strangers.  He was so in love with our Abba, he wanted others to experience this true, Holy, and life changing gift.  The same gift that Jonathan chose. 

Jesus.  Our precious Savior. 

He gave up His life for me.  for you.  for us.  for those who nailed Him onto The Cross.  for those  who spit in His face.  for those who walked/walk away from Him.  for those who are vessels for satan. 

for those that are lost.

for all.

I am ashamed that I would hesitate.  I am thankful He is transforming my heart so I am seeing others through His eyes.  I am blessed  He is enabling me to love the unlovely.  To have sorrow and pray for them in love. 

But still, I would hesitate to give up my own soul for them. 

We are to strive to be Christlike - and I am striving.  I acknowledge my weaknesses and am turning them over to Him. 

But still. I am selfish.  

I so love my Daddy.  I so love being with Him.  I so, so love being His.  After being one of the lost, living in the world of sin, I can not express how much I love being of His world.  I am so thankful to be walking in His light, instead of the darkness anymore.  I so love being in the palm of His hand, crawling up into His lap at anytime, sharing life with Him.  Living for Him. 

I pray that He continues to grow my heart so I may love as He does. 

To love all others, more than my own soul.

That He takes from me the selfishness of my being His, so I may want others to be His even more.

All others.

"His Face" - 04/12/16 - I Samuel 15-17

"And they did. The Kenites evacuated the place."(15:6)


 Saul was marching in to completely destroy the Amalekite but, the Kenites were warned beforehand to get out.

At what point do you give up and evacuate?


 My prayer for those who are in Christ is that they live in the world - yet are not of the world.  I pray there remains a separation.  There has to be or else we become as the world - we become the Amalekites.  One day when Christ returns all will be destroyed.  Those outside of Him will perish into hell.  That's it - that is all He wrote.  After that there are no more chances. 

This verse has given me thoughts though of how long do you "camp out" with some people of the world.  We are here to make disciples - that is our utmost job.  How long do you "work" before moving on? 

I firmly believe God uses me as His seed planter, not a harvester.  I know in His vast family He brings up behind my seed planting, harvesters of souls.  We all have different roles and I am at peace with mine.  The problem I have though, I don't really know when to move on. 

I pray and listen for His lead and try to do my best.  If I see it is a toxic relationship, I "evacuate".  I just want to be sure that I am not "jumping ship" before knowing if the 'ship" is even sinking.  Are some things I am viewing as toxic - really just me taking things too personal?  Am I really focused on His face and not my own, missing out on an opportunity to plant a seed for Him?  Am I so concentrated on seed planting that I am only looking ahead and not where He has me and I am missing the people?   I pray He will change my heart to be more like His.  I pray I am so in tune to His, there is no question about where I am sowing seeds and for how long.

I used to think a person's face reveals what is in her heart by the age of 40.  Today with the world being more about "self", people are becoming harder and I feel it is in the early 30's.  Really look into someone's face and you'll see what I mean.  A person in Christ becomes more beautiful with age. 

But God told Samuel, "Looks aren't everything. Don't be impressed with his looks and stature. I've already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart."(16:7)

You see, I don't want to be caught up with the outside of life.  I don't want my past, or the garbage I bring along,to interfere with my seed planting.  I don't want to miss a moment for Him because my selfish heart gets in the way.  I want to be at the point where I don't even see the outside of a person, their status, etc.  I want to see their heart and their needs.  To put myself in their shoes so to speak. 

I want God to look into my heart and see Himself.

"ABBA's Dance Partner" - 04/11/16 - I Samuel 13-14

"There wasn't a blacksmith to be found anywhere in Israel.
The Philistines made sure of that—"Lest those Hebrews start making swords and spears."
That meant that the Israelites had to go down among the Philistines to keep their farm tools—plowshares and mattocks, axes and sickles—sharp and in good repair. They charged a silver coin for the plowshares and mattocks, and half that for the rest.
So when the battle of Micmash was joined,
there wasn't a sword or spear to be found anywhere in Israel—except for Saul and his son Jonathan; they were both well-armed."(13:19-23)



How stupid to put themselves into this position - and even with their enemies.  People they were in war with.  Out of all the gifts and talents God gave the Israelites, did none of them not know how to sharpen their farm tools?  Or did they not want to?

Oh yes, here I am with the art of self-righteousness.  But wait!  Is that a board in my eye?
Again?

How many times have I allowed myself to stray away from Him to satisfy "self" wants?  When there is something "self" wants to do, knowing it is "dancing with the devil" and flirt with it anyway? 

Being a good steward of all He has entrusted me with is a full time job.  To listen and follow His lead in all areas of living.  To be at the ready for all Divine Appointments He has set up for me.  To be at the ready in this spiritual war going on all about us.  

His Word a couple of days ago, convicted me once more about the accumulation of stuff. It used to be hard for me to resist a good bargain.  Ending up bringing it home knowing I didn't "need" it and let it accumulate with all the other "stuff".  Each good bargain quickly becomes  mundane.  No matter what it is, it needs attended to - either with dusting, cleaning, storing,  Bargains add up and can put a strain on your budget. Bargains can quickly overtake your whole of life.

He has helped me recognize, an unneeded bargain isn't a bargain - it's a burden. 

In my journey through the Daniel Fast, He has opened my eyes to how I used to abuse the gift of food.  There were too many sweets,  too big of helpings - too many unhealthy choices.  I consumed it  when not hungry, all the while seeing it went straight to my belly and hips.  Knowing it was playing havoc in my arteries, adding extra weight which is hard on my joints and bones.  My unhealthy and emotional eating habits were robbing me of a healthy life - a life of movement with ease - of time here on earth - of years with my Curt, kids and grandchildren.

Dancing to any other music but His, will always add physical and mental stress.

satan and "self" are the kings of rose colored glasses.  They can take the ugliest sin and make it look beautiful.  Enticing us to flirt with it.  To relax our guard.  To do the two-step a little farther from God.  To refocus our hearts, souls and mind. 

To ensnare us until we are found without weapons in this spiritual war. 

This is why it is essential to be in His Word each and every day.  To chew on it throughout the day - to have it become a part of you.  Inside and Out.  Only then are we able to see sin for what it really is.

 Ugly in the worst sense. 
















Intimacy with our ABBA opens our eyes to the fact:
Sin is not who you want for your dance partner during the steps of this and eternal life.

^"Finally, be strong in The Lord and in His mighty power.
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Stand firm then,
with the belt of truth buckled around your waist,
with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from The Gospel of peace.

In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith,
with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of The Spirit,
which is The Word of God.

And pray in The Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.
 
With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all The Lord’s people."
(Ephesians 6:10-18)

"All He Desires? It's Us" - 04/10/16 - Judges 9-12

^"Saul said, “If we go, what do we have to give him?
There’s no more bread in our sacks.
We’ve nothing to bring as a gift to the holy man. Do we have anything else?” 
The servant spoke up,
“Look, I just happen to have this silver coin!

I’ll give it to the holy man and he’ll tell us how to proceed!”  (9:7-9)



What did I have to give Him.   My ABBA.

Looking into my heart, I could see, I too had nothing to bring as a gift for Him. 
Even after eating my fill of the bread of the world, my life was still an empty sack.

 Thinking because I "just happened to have a silver coin" in doing a good deed here and there,  that would squeeze me by.  Everything I was basing my life on had worldly value, but in God it was  nothing. 

No matter how much silver I may have had, I was unable to make my way into Him.  Not by works, bartering, boasting, nor is there any sneaking "into" Him. 


What gift could I give to Him?

How humbled I am to think The Creator of all - My ABBA, My Daddy -
He wanted only one thing from me - it was my "self". 

Even more humbling is the thought my starved "self" came before Him, wrapped in the ugly, filthy, stench scented rags of sin.

How my heart filled seeing the joy and delight He took in taking the present of my "self". 
How He held my "self", this dirty, ugly wrapped gift,  as His most precious treasure. 
He never turned away, trying to draw in a fresh breath of air, as the stench rose up to His nose. 
He gently, firmly, carefully, unwrapped my "self" and then..........

He smiled.  

He dipped me into My Savior's blood, His precious Son, to cleanse me.  Making me pure and holy.  He covered me in the perfume of His Grace and Mercy.   
He clothed me in the beautiful silks of The Holy Spirit. 
He fed me the meat of His Word - His Truth.

My "self" is His most precious treasure.

When I think about how long it took me to realize and act upon this, my eyes tear of the wasted time spent away from Him.  All those years I walked in the world, focused on "self", trying to fill up in all ways possible,
and still I was empty. 

The world is all about the taking for "self". 

And then there is God's way. 

A way which only makes sense if you are "in" Him. 

His way is about giving. 
Giving up "self" - to Him. 
Giving up "self" - to be a vessel for Him. 
Giving up "self" - to give blessings to those you encounter. 
Even when it brings pain, suffering. 
His way is all about giving.  The emptying out of "self".

When I gave God the gift of my "self", He filled me. 
He filled the void. 

No matter how much I give, I can not out give Him. 
He continually replenishes me - like a living spring that never goes dry as it runs towards the ocean. 

He filled me and no longer am I an "empty sack". 

"Clean House" - 04/09/16 - I Samuel 4-8

"Then Samuel addressed the house of Israel: "If you are truly serious about coming back to God, clean house.

Get rid of the foreign gods and fertility goddesses, ground yourselves firmly in God,

worship Him and Him alone,

and He'll save you from Philistine oppression."(7:3)



There is a saying, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your schedule".

 

Each year I have one for our downtime season.   It is to go through our home and  shop.  To totally clean and organize them top to bottom.  It seemed this season was incredibly short, but I did manage to check off the list our taxes are done, the office up to date and the shop is completed as well.  The house.  Well, remodeling the downstairs put a kink in my schedule. 

I have found over the years if I do this every winter, it is much easier to stay on top of things during our busy time. There are days when we begin not much after dawn and are driving home in the dark. Even though I am so very thankful for the work He is providing - it robs me of my energy and motivation when I do get home.

The truth is - I love an organized and clean home. I hate the amount of time and energy I waste when looking for something, or having to buy something, because it is "lost" in the mess. 

I love opening up closets and cabinets and seeing order. Most of all, I love seeing empty space. I used to be so sentimentally attached to everything - it was too hard to throw it away. Not a hoarder like what you see on TV, but too much "stuff".

And that is exactly what it is - stuff.
Stuff which can slowly become my god.

Before I know it,  I begin to find comfort, security, worth, etc. in stuff.
It gets in the way of my relationship with God.

 It affects my ability to be a good steward of what He has given me.
 It can wreck havoc on my life.

Our house isn't filled floor to ceiling with paths in each room, but there are areas in need of attention. In my journey through the Daniel Fast, I discovered why food and clothes were too important to me. I would find it hard to part with clothes I really don't like - in case I will need them. There was almost a physical pain when I would get rid of something someone gave me - even though I didn't like it nor would I ever wear it. He helped me see in my journey, those Items, hanging there on the hanger, were becoming my god.

"God answered Samuel, "Go ahead and do what they're asking. They are not rejecting you.
They've rejected me as their King.
From the day I brought them out of Egypt until this very day they've been behaving like this, leaving me for other gods.
And now they're doing it to you. So let them have their own way.
But warn them of what they're in for."(8:7-9)

I know in these verses they are referring to wanting an earthly king. Someone to take the place of God amongst them. Someone they could physically see and hear. But, I also know with these verses He is telling me, "yes, you can keep all this stuff - but there are consequences." I recognized from some of the material and mental stuff I was hanging onto,  there came the false sense of security in keeping it.

He opened my eyes to see I need to be holding onto Him - not the "stuff".

He has shown me, "having my way", it really is a burden and helps me to rid my life of the "stuff".
He has given me the freedom which comes from living life without all the "stuff". 

Looking back I now see, I wasn't experiencing life the way He has planned. 
He wants me to enjoy this life, to be prepared, to be a warrior for Him.

To be totally secure In "Him".
Not "stuff"

"His Hannah" - 04/08/16 - 1 Samuel 1-3

 

I am greatly ashamed for the many times throughout the years when I have read about Hannah, the sacrifices she made, and did not recognize her as the strong and great woman of God she was, sooner than I did.

 

One of the many great blessings of rereading His Word each year is how He has helped me in "getting to know" those I had often "skimmed" over. I so wish I could have spent time with her, to know more about her. There is so much I have been taught through Scriptures, I can only imagine how much I would learn if able to have shared life with her face to face.

 

The blessings I receive from the little I do know, are amazing.

 

She first captured my heart with whon she turned to in her pain - God. She never turned inside and lashed out at the injustice she endured. To live as a barren woman in those days was one of the greatest types of shame. She was looked at as a complete failure. And yet, how her husband, Elkanah, loved her.

 

Her first great love though - is God.

 

"Hannah was praying in her heart, silently. Her lips moved, but no sound was heard. Eli jumped to the conclusion that she was drunk." (1:13) "The only thing I've been pouring out is my heart, pouring it out to God."(1:15)

 

How often do I pray to God in such a way? Do I take the privilege of prayer for granted? How often does it look to God as though I am drunk - because I am pouring my heart out to Him. How often do I hold back bits and pieces I feel He won't like, won't accept, won't find important or won't change? How often do I forget He desires to hear all of my heart. How often do I forget, He already knows all there is to know about me.

 

I look upon her with great admiration and respect.

She loved God so much that she vowed to give Him back her son if she were to be blessed with one. And she did. Jewish children were usually five years old when they were weaned. This is probably how old Samuel was when they left him with Eli the priest - to live.

 

 

I look upon her with great admiration and respect.

When I picture the separation, I don't see Samuel smiling and waving bye bye. I envision tears and fear as he stood beside a man, Eli, whom he did not know. I envision a little boy watching his mommy and daddy leaving him.

 

Could I have done this? We lost two babies which I think is one reason I have hung on and cherished Adam and Nichalas so much. But, at times I have been very guilty in placing a burden upon them by placing my worth in being their mom, in loving them more than God.

 

Hannah left with a song -

 

"Hannah prayed: I'm bursting with God-news! I'm walking on air.

I'm laughing at my rivals. I'm dancing my salvation. Nothing and no one is holy like God.....(2:1-10)

 

The boy Samuel stayed at the sanctuary and grew up with God.(2:11)

 

Hannah left with a song.

 

I look upon her with great admiration and respect.

A child's character and personality are "formed" by the time they are five. It says so much about Hannah as a mommy in the man who Samuel grew up to be. We only know for sure she saw him once a year when they went to make sacrifice, no other time is written about. God blessed her with other children, but none can take the place of the other. We know that Samuel lived in Ramah when he was older, I like to assume that he was spending time with his family.

 

I gain much wisdom and strength from Hannah.

When Adam was living in Liverpool, NY and now with Nichalas and Amber in Phoenix, I draw comfort in Hannah's focus. It was totally on God. She didn't fall into a pity party for not being able to spend more years with Samuel - she was thankful for the time she had. She didn't keep count - she just drank in the days she was given. She turned to God in her great pain and drew strength and comfort from Him. By doing that - she had peace and joy.

 

Joy in a situation where I would be in tears. I pray I may be the mommy Hannah was. I pray our children Adam and Ashley, Nichalas and Amber, Charlie, Ella, and other future grandchildren and all generations to come will be known as Samuel was:

 

"Samuel grew up. God was with him...Everyone...recognized that Samuel was the real thing—a true "child" of God."(3:19-21)

 

I also pray I shall do my part as a mom, following after Hannah in the lives I touch, for "in" Christ, we are all priest.

 

"I will raise up for Myself a faithful priest who will do according to what is in My heart and in My soul; and I will build him an enduring house and he will walk before My anointed always."(2:35)

 

And from Hannah, she has taught me how to have a song in my heart.....for always.

 

 

 

(reposted/edited from 2015)

"Filled Up" - 04/07/16 - Ruth 1-4

"God hasn’t quite walked out on us after all! He still loves us, in bad times as well as good!” (2:20)

 

 Looking back, there were many times I felt God wasn't with me.  I wondered why I was put into certain situations or the treatment I received, in which I had no control over. 

There were many times I felt totally alone. 

And starved.

Deep down within me there was such a void, such a deep, deep void. 

I ached because of it.  

During that time, I was constantly walking down dark paths, trying to fill that void.

But I always came away lonelier and hungrier. 

Totally empty - yet filled with sadness.

Since I have begun walking in an intimate relationship with our ABBA, I have learned He was and is always with me.   There was never a time He wasn't.  The situations I was in, came about because of the consequences of free will.  It wasn't part of His plan.  It was of the world. 

 

He was there protecting me from things I was completely unaware of. 

He desired me to be His. 

He was the only way to fill the voids.

Today, I am so aware of His being with me through all trials, tribulations, joys, sorrows - the all of my life.  I am filled with The Fruits of The Spirit within me.  When there are those who tell me they don't feel He is with them, I gently try to put their focus back onto Him, off of themselves and the lies of the world.  They too, are never alone.   

 

Being His, we are promised there is nowhere we are able to go that He isn't able to go also.

 

Ever.

 

 

 

 

"The King of Kings" - 04/06/16 - Judges 19-21

"At that time there was no king in Israel. People did whatever they felt like doing."(21:25)

Throughout the readings of Judges, I have not enjoyed it.  There has been such ugliness.   I have such incredible sorrow in how people are outside of God.  So many of the verses seem to ring true of today. The mistreatment of the women, the way people would "bend" the laws to suit their desires, how they would make a vow and change things up so they wouldn't lose face.  And again, I am reminded of how we humans really haven't come that far over the years.

 

His verses today were really a downer.  It brought to mind the world and how it can be so discouraging.  After reading,  I sat with my hands on my Bible feeling the wind was out of my sail. My focus was about the status of the people, their sins, the way the world was/is and I wasn't hearing what He wants me to know. It was then He breathed into me His fresh breath of Hope, giving me a memory of a realization.

Not long ago, we were traveling down 48th street and the moon caught my eye.  It was hanging up there amongst the clouds.  Its light illuminating all below in an almost magic like glow.  So bright it almost hurt to look at it.  And yet, I couldn't tear my eyes away. 

And it hit me. 

One night in a garden, far away from Quincy, Il - kneeled a man.  A man who was wrestling with the greatest journey He would ever, ever have to take.  A man who was in communion with His Father.   A man who knew all the ugliness of sin in this world, and still loved each and every soul who lived and will live.   

It hit me.

That man who looked up at the same moon as I was, how so very much He loves me. 

How His Daddy was going to separate Himself from His Son - for me. 

 

The heartbreak they were going through in that garden. 

A man who made the choice to separate Himself from His Father. 

Just so I may be with Him for always.  For all who chose to take Him as their Savior. 

The King of Kings.

He became HOPE.

It hit me.

He took all the ugliness in Judges.  All the ugliness of this world.   

And hath made it beautiful.

 

 

 

"Our Gift" - 04/05/16 - Judges 16-18

<sup>"When Delilah realized that he had told her his secret, she sent for the Philistine tyrants, telling them, “Come quickly—this time he’s told me the truth.” They came, bringing the bribe money." (16:18)



Last evening it was almost 8pm as we stood in the shop.  We had put in a full day of work and still not time to call it quits.  I stood before Curt as he was telling me about the clutch that had went out on one of our mowers earlier in the day.  Thankfully, they had a new one at the store and it was now installed.  All we had left to do was load up the trailer and ready everything for today.

While listening, I was also thanking our ABBA for this man of many gifts and talents.  My partner in all the roles of this life.  My heart leaped when my eyes caught his wedding ring on his left hand.  A precious reminder of how much he is "My Gift" from our ABBA.  "My Gift"  whom has been more than I could ever imagine.   

Most nights, the last thing I remember thanking God for is my Curt.  "My Gift".

Usually, I am holding his left hand and my fingers touch his wedding band.  There is something about him wearing that band of gold that touches my heart.  Knowing that when someone sees it on his finger, they know he is "taken". 
 
 He is mine.</sup>

 

<sup>We will be celebrating 34 years together this coming June 9th, the anniversary of our first date.  In that time, we have been through many ups and downs.  Thankfully, we made it - only because of God's help. 

Exactly 28 years ago, we were in a major down.  I can remember being on my knees and begging, pleading to God, that He would save our marriage, that Curt would not leave us.  I didn't know where else to turn.  Thankfully, I turned to ABBA, because He is who kept us together.  Almost 13 years ago we were in another major down.  This time it was me who wanted out.  I know  I hated our marriage and thought I even hated him.  There were such harsh and painful words I threw out at him.  Wanting only to hurt and drive him away.  But, he went down on his knees and begged to God I wouldn't leave.  He refused to let me go, as I refused to let him go, so many years prior.</sup>

<sup>He reminded me of a little rat terrier with a tight hold of my pant leg.

I recognize there are some marriages which do not make it through the lows because of ensuing circumstances.  It is with great thanksgiving to the many Scriptures telling me how God knows my heart better than I do.  He knew without a doubt, under all the hurt, anger, harsh words - my heart was head over heels in love with Curt.  Through our ABBA, His Word, prayers, counseling, friends who fought to keep us together, we made it through the many battles during our upward climb on this mountain called marriage. 

Today, He has blessed our relationship in needing only the required regular maintenance, as we continue this climb which will go onward until death do us part.  I go to sleep at night, live throughout each day, so very thankful and blessed beyond words, that our Abba kept us as one.  Not only for ourselves, but for our Adam and Ashley, Nichalas and Amber, Charlie, Ella, other future grandchildren and the next generations beyond. 

When I read of the relationship Samson and Delilah shared, I wonder if he was really in love with her or was it just lust?  Did he share his "secret" because he did love her or was he exasperated by her nagging?  Was there ever a moment afterwards, that Delilah regretted what she had done?  Did she realize there was something there in Samson's heart for her?  Did she ever think about what she traded in for bribe money? 

How much like the relationship in a marriage is our relationship with God.  We are given "The Gift of Christ"  and reject it for the bribe money of satan.  There are some who do not want to put the vested interest or work into relationships anymore, choosing to take the easy way out. 

 As some do with their relationship with God. 
   
My heart breaks when I think about the "Delilah's" of this world.</sup> 

<sup>They hold in their hands "The Gift of Christ", the key to eternal life and cast it aside. 

 For the bribe money of satan.</sup>

 

 

 

 

 

"There Will Be Ripples" - 04/04/16 - Judges 13-15

"Some days later when he came back to get her, he made a little detour to look at what was left of the lion. And there a wonder: a swarm of bees in the lion’s carcass—and honey! He scooped it up in his hands and kept going, eating as he went. He rejoined his father and mother and gave some to them and they ate. But he didn’t tell them that he had scooped out the honey from the lion’s carcass." (14:8-9)

Drama - What I think of as I read through these verses of Samson's life. 

How he goes from being a servant for God into a servant for self.  Eating honey from a dead lion carcass?  Why would he even want to go back and check on the carcass?  Not only was he becoming unclean by touching the carcass - he ate honey from it!  Along with the bees -there would have been maggots, flies and stench.  But then, why do we constantly go back and look at sin.  Before you know it, you're down on your knees, reaching into the decay, eating of it, sin now becoming a part of you. 

 I too, have and do the same, as did Samson.  Going back to check out sin - sitting down to eat of what I think is too good to pass up, ignoring the filth it is surrounded by.  Ignoring the way the filth of sin will cling to me - become a part of me as it passes through my lips. 

This proves that we alone can not even be around sin - it will consume us.  It is only through Christ we are protected.  Only In Him are we in a shield that is impenetrable. 

There is a flip side of the lion's carcass.

It is us in sin.  Dead.  Only God can transform total ugliness of sin into the pure sweet honey. 

Don't miss out an important fact in these verses.  Samson gave his parents the honey without telling them where it came from.  In their eating of it, they unknowingly became unclean.  When Jesus left, He left us to continue as His vessels in making disciples.  One drop of water creates a ripple.   Our  living life is a drop of water.  Every single thing you do has consequences - good or bad - touching  lives all around you.  Those who are living and those to come - even those who are gone that were once in your life.  When you look into the mirror, deep into your soul, ask yourself - what are you passing on? 

Are you a part of our Living God, passing on to all His pure sweet honey - the gift of Him, eternal life.

Or are you a part of the carcass of sin - the decayed, maggot infested, stench of eternal death.

What is your ripple? 

"Enough" - 04/03/16 - Judges 10-12

"They just walked off and left God, quit worshiping Him." (Judges10:7)



Upon reading these verses, my instant thoughts are, "How can anyone just walk off and leave God".


It dumbfounds me how anyone could live life without Him.  My mind becomes filled with such self-righteous and unholy thoughts.

And then I recall the years I lived life without Him.

Even today,  I know until the day I die, I shall struggle with walking off and leaving Him, quit worshiping Him.  Although it is only for a short period, it happens each and every time I choose to put "me" before Him. 

A sin is a sin.  It is only because I am in Christ am I saved.  Made Holy by His Blood.  Covered with His Grace and Mercy. 

Thankfully, He is continually transforming my heart to not be judgemental and self-righteous to those who choose not to worship our ABBA.  Instead I am looking at them with compassion, sorrow, fear for them, and Christlike love.  And yes, there are still moments instead of praying for them...........I slip back into my old habits of not being Christlike to those of this world.

He brings to mind a woman I have had to interact with these past 14 years when working on a commercial property we take care of.  Each encounter I have made it a conscientious effort to smile, be nice and pleasant.  I have tried putting myself in her place, giving her the benefit of the doubt that her life is not a very happy one, etc.

One evening while spraying, I had my hose laying across the road as I went from side to side making my application.  A car slipped up on me and I had to hurry over and move my hose.  I glanced over to see "she" was behind the wheel.  As she drove by me, I waved and smiled.  She just gave me the once over look and drove by.  No wave, no smile - just rudeness.  At first I was really angry.  How dare she reject me like that - again. 

And then He started to work His accountability.  It isn't about her and me.  It is about Him and her.  It is about Him and me. 

Am I glorifying Him in all that I think, say or do? 
So what if she rejects me.  Stop taking rejection personal.
Bottom line - am I waving for His glory or mine. 

I was aware of the minutes ticking by before I began to pray for her.  Minutes ticking by before I took my pride and squished it beneath my heel. Each and every day I am striving for "immediate", not minutes or seconds later. With each encounter, He has me realize what little I know of a persons life..  I look about and recognize how our world is in such a self-destructive mode. I can hear God telling us, ""When they oppressed you and you cried out to me for help, I saved you from them. And now you've gone off and betrayed Me, worshiping other gods. I'm not saving you anymore. Go ahead! Cry out for help to the gods you've chosen—let them get you out of the mess you're in!" (Judges 10:12-14) 




 And I wonder so many moments, at what point in today's world is He going to say, "Enough is enough"? 


It scares me. 
Not for myself - I'm in Christ and covered. 

I have fear for those on the outside of His family.  Those who are living a life totally focused on "self".  How thankful I am our ABBA protects His own under His umbrella, that our souls are shielded from just how dark sin really is.  My heart is breaking though, knowing there are persons living in such a dark, empty, sin filled world.  It motivates me to try and introduce them to Him.  To introduce them to a world that is full, safe and pure. 

A world that is Him.


So many societies have self-destructed because they have walked away from God.  America is a good place to be on this world.  I pray for our future leaders, for the media, for people walking down the street. 

 I pray His own will choose to reach the masses for Him.............before "enough".

"Means of Escape" - 04/02/16 - Judges 8-9

04/02/16 - Judges 8-9

"Means of Escape"

"Abimelech went on to Thebez. He camped at Thebez and captured it. The Tower-of-Strength stood in the middle of the city; all the men and women of the city along with the city’s leaders had fled there and locked themselves in. They were up on the tower roof. Abimelech got as far as the tower and assaulted it. He came up to the tower door to set it on fire.

Just then some woman dropped an upper millstone on his head and crushed his skull.

He called urgently to his young armor bearer and said, “Draw your sword and kill me so they can’t say of me, ‘A woman killed him.’” His armor bearer drove in his sword, and Abimelech died." (9:50-54)


There are times when it seems as though the enemy has encircled us, trapping us in our tower and we have nowhere to go.  No escape - believing the enemy will win. 

And then - 

God uses what we deem as worthless, insignificant, without any power, the smallest of small - and uses that as a means to overpower and escape from our tower.

When these verses were written, and today in some civilizations, women were considered less than dogs. 

I wonder what do I hold at such a low level of worthlessness in my gifts and talents.  All of what He gives us is to be used as part of our weaponry against the enemy.  Not some of - but all of - our gifts and talents, even those we feel "aren't good enough". 

He has created them, given them to us . They are part of Him, part of "us" whom He made in His image.  He designed us for His purpose. 

I read this today, and it struck home how often it is we don't utilize what He has given us. 
How often we do not use His measuring stick to evaluate how "good" our gifts/talents are.  

I am once again reminded there really is nothing new under the sun.

All we can do as writers and readers and thinkers and lovers and pray-ers is to link arms and pull when someone’s stuck, or push when someone’s scared, and pray when we’re all lost. Not because we are hopeless, but because we actually know that there is Hope and at all times, we all just need reminded of it in different ways.

There is so much of our gifts/talents we think is useless or not good/talented enough and then we end up not utilizing them to help strengthen someone in or out of "His" family. 

                                                                                     
Someone who is fighting the enemy.                                                                      

Someone who desperately needs to be reminded there is Hope.  

Someone who is trapped in their "tower".

 

 

 

 

"God Is Never Outsized" - 04/01/16 - Judges 6-7

^"God said to Gideon, “You have too large an army with you. I can’t turn Midian over to them like this—they’ll take all the credit, saying, ‘I did it all myself,’ and forget about me."  (7:2)

God uses all  things for His Glory. 

Even when we pick up doubt, focus on it, and it becomes fear.  

Our imagination sets in.  The lying voices ring out loudly in our ears.  We begin to take everything personal.  Begin to believe that we are losers.   Begin to see obstacles of life are just too big to be removed or even to make our way around.  

Much like the Israelites felt each moment that Goliath came out and taunted them.  Taunted them and God.  They shook in fear.  

And along came David.  A young man, a slingshot, a small stone.

And His Faith.
In God.

David was so outsized there was no denying our God was in control.  


Outsized.

How God wants us to be, so we won't forget about Him and go on thinking "we" did it.   He uses our doubt and fears, when we feel "outsized", for His glory.  Looking back to those "mountain in the road" moments in my life, I can see all proof  - it was God who got me through, over, or around.   

There are times our God will peel us down to what we think is nothing, so He is all we have to depend on.  He removes our pride, our way, our revenge.  There are so many times His way doesn't make sense, because we are still focusing on that doubt. 

But in the end - His way which has already won.