"There wasn't a sign of a change of heart.(9:21)
It has been years now, that I have been praying. Trying to be an example of what an intimate relationship with ABBA is like. The Holy Spirit transforming my heart so I may become more like Christ. Allowing myself at times to step backwards instead of forward in my relationship with ABBA. All of these moments have been witnessed by others.
And my heart breaks. My eyes tear up. Knowing those moments, even though covered in His Forgiveness, His Grace, His Mercy, are still moments when I failed Him. When I failed to allow myself to be His vessel. When I decided to serve "self".
Thankfully though, He is able to use all things. all people. all situations. for His Glory.
As I read through His Words, my heart breaks knowing there are those whom He has set onto the path I am walking, who know Him not.
And I don't know what to do except have Faith and continue to pray. Continue to allow Him to use me.
And then ABBA reminds me. Only He knows a persons true heart. Only He knows if there is change. I know what a persons heart is comes out in their words. their actions. The Truth always comes out.
But I don't and can't know how much He is changing a persons heart through the use of "me".
This is encouragement for when I am thinking "my time, my way" in the relationship between ABBA and ones I am praying for. This is a peace for me, upon seeing behavior that is of the world and knowing ABBA is working on their hearts - through me. This is confidence in knowing He has all under control. This is joy knowing He will never give up on anyone. Anyone.
He is teaching me it isn't my job to measure hearts. That is His. My job - is to continually allow Him to change, transform my heart to become totally His to use. To love as He loves.
A servants heart. Not a judges heart.
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