Monday, March 16, 2015
"Maintenance" - 03/10/15 - Numbers 35-36
"They are free to marry anyone they choose as long as they marry within their ancestral clan." (36:6)
Someone commented the other day, "Marriage is such hard work". It got me to thinking about my marriage and I have to honestly say, not if you are equally yoked. Not if you are standing firm together in ABBA and fighting off the demons set on tearing your union apart. Not if you are following His lead. The hard work begins when we decide to do things "our way". It begins to be hard work when we take our focus off of ABBA and put it upon ourselves. I feel that is the hardest work of all our relationships - choosing to keep ourselves centered "in" Him.
Because of Him, (and it only took 30+ years!) Curt and I have made it through the "hard work" stage and are enjoying the "maintenance" stage. There are times when we find our selves "maintaining" more than enjoying and always it is because we are not focused on ABBA. We have moved Him from our center and over a little to the left or right.
When Curt and I got together, we were evenly yoked. We were both of and in the world. Honestly, most of the reason we were together was the physical attraction. There was a little of the mental thrown in and none of the spiritual. We have both said, if we had not of moved to Texas, where we knew no one, we would not have made it the first year. There were a few friends we had in common, but for the most part we probably would have been more with different crowds than together. Not knowing anyone in Texas, forced us to get to know each other. We didn't have an argument for almost two years. For the most part, we fit well together as we continued to live outside of Christ.
We were still evenly yoked.
And then, along came Adam. The catalyst that God used to draw me to Him. Unfortunately, in being a new Christian, I was also so on fire that I turned Curt off. Turned him off with my "self-righteous nagging", throwing scripture in his face, not trusting him to be alone with Adam very often because he wasn't a "Christian". Who knows what he and his friends would introduce to our child.
I cringe when I think about the "Christian" I was. What God and Curt put up with.
No longer were we "equally yoked, and it was causing turmoil in our marriage. The same time I was floundering at being a Christian, I was also growing in Him. He was having me see things that I used to enjoy as sin and finding it distasteful. Repulsive.
It was causing a division in our marriage.
This division continued to grow and we came to the line of divorce many times. I didn't know what to do to bring Curt to Christ. I was trying to do it my way, my time, by myself.
Dictating to God.
What saved our marriage was God telling me to shut up and stand back. Thankfully, I did.......and still find myself being told to do this again.....and again.
When I stepped out of the control tower, followed God's lead in how He could use me, Curt came to Christ. He came and has fallen head over heels in love with our Abba.
I began to pray for the future spouses of our children when Adam was first born. My prayer was that God would bless them with a partner they would be equally yoked with. God blessed us with the joy of seeing Nichalas and Amber beginning their marriage - equally yoked. There aren't enough words to describe how my heart feels seeing the way they complete, compliment each other as one "in" God. To see they are continuing on the cycle of Him, knowing they are in a place with their first year of marriage that took Curt and me 20 plus.
We truly became "equally yoked" when we both fell "in" love with our Abba. Both of us. Finally understanding why it is so important to God for us to "marry within their ancestral clan". His perfect plan brings two people as one in Him. They join together, and God willing, have children, whom they train up in Him, and the cycle continues. His perfect plan enables them to become equally yoked without all the garbage living in the world brings about. When beginning "equally yoked", the hard work isn't needed.
Just the maintenance. It falls back upon us the degree of maintenance it will take.