My knees grow weak whenever I think about how closely I came to missing ABBA. How deeply embedded in the world I once was. How many days, years, went by and the thought of Him never even entered my mind. How much of my past was spent in not recognizing Him, let alone welcoming His personal visits in His effort to rescue me. My heart speeds up with a jolt of fear knowing how close I came to missing out on Him all together. The many times I entered into physical situations and living through them shouldn't have happened. The many "could have happened", "should have happened", endings He prevented.
His personal visits - hindsight really is 20/20.
There has never been such a constant in my life as His. Even the evil one had his way of enticing me in, but would depart when he felt I was in his grasp, leaving behind loneliness, despair, emptiness.
It took ABBA working through the miracle of growing Adam within my womb to finally recognize Him. How fitting when I look back, His using a new born babe to open not only my eyes, but heart as well, in recognizing Him. It has taken some serious work on ABBA's part and letting go on mine, to be at the point where I am continually "welcoming His personal visits". No longer do I cower in shame, dread the cleansings, am untrusting of the good times. No longer do I find myself going through much time at all when I am not thinking of Him. He has a way of drawing worship from me through most all of my life. He has a way of drawing me into Him even closer most breaths I take.
He is whom I eagerly await.
My heart, it is bursting with Love from and for Him.