Friday, October 16, 2015

"Filled" - 10/16/15 - John 6

"Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life. The person who aligns with Me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever.(6:35)

This morning before reading, I asked ABBA that I would hear the Words He was speaking through to me.  I don't want to miss out.  I then went on to pray for His continued help during another day in the battle of losing weight.  And throughout the verses today, He is talking about thirst and hunger.

He is something else that ABBA of ours.  Knowing beforehand - always knowing - exactly what we need and desire.  Always wanting only the best for us.

All of my life I have struggled with emotional eating.  It wasn't until I had Adam my metabolism couldn't keep up with the amount of food I consume.  Looking back and knowing I was able to out eat most men and still be super skinny, is probably why I never recognized I had an eating problem. 

And I do.    

I do very much enjoy food.  I enjoy watching cooking shows, talking/trying recipes cooking/feeding others.  I l very much enjoy the different taste, textures, the way different things explode in your mouth and take over - like chocolate.  But ABBA has also opened my eyes to the fact I was stuffing in large amounts of food, trying to fill a void.  A huge void. 
I am finding more and more often I am now turning to Him, rather than to food.  The food has pretty much become something I need for nourishment.  Through Him I am able to stop eating when my
stomach is full and fight off the temptation of eating just to be eating. Or rather stuffing. 

He has made me aware whenever I am encountering the past, I fight the urge to run to the candy stuffing aisle.  Whenever sadness envelopes me, it is the savory, fat laden comfort foods I begin to crave.  Whenever He is drawing me out of my comfort zone - sweets take over my imagination. 

And my body has/is paying the price for this type of eating. 

As I am aging, I am finding, as so many others are, the excess weight just doesn't want to leave.  It has affected  my knees, my energy level, my activities, my emotions.  Embarrassment has been the garment I wore when going out in public.  I sometimes allowed it to keep me from doing work for Him.

It's interesting to me that ABBA has not only been cleansing my spiritual being, He has been working on my physical and emotional.  They are all tied in together. 

I will never be the twig I was back in the days before Adam, nor do I want to be.  There is a thing as too skinny.  He has brought me to realizing it isn't only healthy and to be physically able I am striving for, it is to be spiritually and emotionally healed.

It is exciting to allow Him to completely heal and consume the all of me.  It is exciting to recognize food or something else just doesn't fill me up, nor do I want "it" to.  It is exciting to recognize He has been  the only way I am able to take food for what it is.  Nourishment and pleasure in healthy amounts.  It is also exciting to accept "me" and know I am continually striving to be better in all areas of my life, including the physical.  He has opened my eyes to see it took much longer than overnight to accumulate the excess pounds I am carrying, so it will take much longer than overnight to lose it. (No matter how much I desire it to be gone - overnight).

There is no other substitution for Him. 
Only He is able to fill the "God-void" He created within me. 
Nothing or no one else. 


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