Tuesday, May 03, 2016

"HIS" - 05/03/16 - Psalm 1,2,15,22-24,47,68

"Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly,
nor standeth in the way of sinners,
nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

But his delight is in The Law of The Lord;

and in His law doth he meditate day and night.

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water,
that bringeth forth His fruit in his season;
his leaf also shall not wither;
and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper."(Psalm 1:1-3)

His face appeared in my memories.  Full screen, on my tablet after hitting the FB app this morning. 
My heart jumped at the sight of him and immediately my eyes teared up.
It was 28 years ago today we received the gift of our Nichalas.
Most days I do well with not seeing, being with him on a regular basis.  But then there are moments when I feel my heart will break from the ache within.  Because I miss him so.
It is wonderful our ABBA has surrounded me with other mommies who feel the same. to know we aren't alone in this journey of motherhood.  To encourage, wipe a tear from another's cheek, give a hug without any words needed.  And then to smile at our sappy ways. 
Being a mommy is one of the greatest roles our ABBA has blessed me with. 
I love watching our Adam with his family, Ashley, Charlie and Ella.  I love watching our Nichalas with his Amber.  I often think of and imagine what our other two would be doing, if they weren't in Heaven with our ABBA.  There aren't enough words to convey the fulfillment received from my role in their lives.
Being a mommy is also one of the hardest roles.
I never imagined what it would feel like to have parts of my heart walking on the outside of my body. 
Every step with them is a first time event and many times I did and will mess up.  Thankfully, our ABBA is much bigger than my mess ups.  It is so unbelievable at times how quickly the years have flown by.  How they are both grown young men.  Young men who live the above verses.
Both of whom belong and live for our ABBA.
They never were mine.  I was entrusted to lead them up "in" Him and to stand aside so they may grow into whom He made them to be. 


Anonymous said...

Ahh Deby, I am right there with you about being a mommy whose heart is out there, walking outside of us. Being a mom is very very tough, but also very very rewarding. I'm battling right now because I want to protect from and prevent hurt, but I have to trust the Lord with my babies who are out of home. Lovely post,
God bless

deby said...

I shall pray for you! and yours. I love knowing our ABBA is omnipresent! How He so blesses us. Thank you Tracy!