Saturday, October 18, 2014

"Filling the God-Void" - 10/18/14 - John 6

"Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life. The person who aligns with Me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever.(6:35)

This morning before reading, I asked ABBA that I would hear the Words He was speaking through to me.  I don't want to miss out.  I then went on to pray for His continued help in the battle of losing weight.  And throughout the verses today, He is talking about thirst and hunger.

He is something else that ABBA of ours.  Knowing beforehand - always knowing - exactly what we need and desire.  Always wanting only the best for us.

All of my life I have struggled with emotional eating.  It wasn't until I had Adam my metabolism couldn't keep up with the amount of food I consume.  Looking back and knowing I was able to out eat most men and still be super skinny, is probably why I never recognized I had a problem. 

And I do.    

I love food.  I enjoy watching cooking shows, talking/trying recipes cooking/feeding others.  I love the different taste, textures, the way different things explode in your mouth and take over - like chocolate.  But ABBA has also opened my eyes to the fact I was stuffing in large amounts of food, trying to fill a void.  A huge void.

Whenever I am encountering the past, I fight the urge to run to the candy stuffing aisle.  Whenever sadness envelopes me, it is the savory, fat laden comfort foods I begin to crave.  Whenever He is drawing me out of my comfort zone - sweets take over my imagination. 

And my body has/is paying the price for this type of eating. 

As I am aging, I am finding as so many others are, the excess weight just doesn't want to leave.  It is affecting my knees, my energy level, my activities, my emotions.  Embarrassment is the garment I wear when going out in public.  I sometimes allow it to keep me from doing my work for Him.

It's interesting to me that ABBA is not only cleansing my spiritual being, He now is working on my physical and emotional.  They are all tied in together. 

I will never be the twig I was back in the days before Adam, nor do I want to be.  There is a thing as too skinny.  He has brought me to realizing it isn't only healthy and physically able I am striving for, it is to be spiritually and emotionally healed. 

Until I allow Him to completely heal and consume the all of me, I will be trying to do so with food or something else. He is the only way I am able to take food for what it is.  Nourishment and pleasure in healthy amounts. 

Not a substitution for Him. 
Only He is able to fill the "God-void" He created within me. 
Nothing or no one else. 

"Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life. The person who aligns with Me hungers no more and thirsts no more, ever.(6:35)                          
      Plate piled high with pizza and fried fatty foods.

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