Saturday, April 23, 2005

Outa the Comfort Zone

Last evening I had a date with my husband. It involved food. And it involved persons I do not know. Because of the food, I committed myself to go. Not to be with my husband mind you, but the food. It was an Italian night at his golfing buddies home. Tim had prepared 28 different Italian recipes and invited people over to eat, visit, drink, just hang out. He does this at different times because he loves to cook, share, and enjoys people.

I on the other hand love all these things too, except the people. I am one who loves to stay home. The hardest thing for me to do is to walk into a place filled with people. Only my closest friends know this and also know that I really am shy. I often pray that God will use me as His vessel and there He puts me - with people. Growing up I was not the most popular kid in the class, unless you are looking at the kid made the most fun of. I was very shy, introverted, and usually only had one, maybe two, friends at a time.

Throughout the years, I have forced myself to be involved with people. To put myself outside my comfort zone and do His work. It is only with God that I have been able to overcome so much and most persons don't see how hard all this is for me. I also like to walk in behind Curt, I hate to be first in a room. I know that I just recently spoke at a workshop. I read that the reason that works is because it puts me in control. So back to last night.

We arrive and I am feeling very fat and ugly in my "tent shirt". The kind you wear to try and hide the excess. For some reason before I knew what was going on, Curt had me walk in the door first. Upon entering, we are right there where everyone is. And I look around and realize I know absolutely no one. I spied the food pretty fast too. Standing there feeling quite awkward and wanting nothing more than to not be there, I suddenly hear a voice from the corner, "It's the Holtschlag's".

There she was. A friend I had made when our sons were in soccer together while in grade school. We have never done anything together. But for some reason we just click. When we see each other, we pick up where we left off. And she is always glad to see me.

I am thankful that a long time ago I got out of my comfort zone and attended my sons' soccer games. I am thankful that this woman has always enjoyed seeing me. You see, last night after going over to say hi to her, she walked me over to the food table. Everything was something different and fantastic. She told me how she glanced over and saw this very pretty woman enter the room and realized it was me. She told me how good I look.

Yes, I am so thankful that I got out of my comfort zone, not just for the food, not just for being with Curt, but for God letting someone tell me what I really look like to others and to Him.

Actually, it is very sad how differently we see ourselves.

Ps 139:14 I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.


ret said...

Wow I resonate with that. I love how God rescues us when we want to disappear into a dark corner and helps us see how much life we can miss when we don't push past our insecurities. I'm really glad she was there. And I'm glad you saw yourself through her eyes last night. You are amazingly beautiful. Inside and out...

deby said...

thanks-that means a lot coming from you.

Valerie Dykstra said...

You hit the nail on the head for me. I feel those same emotions. I am a homebody and most times getting out for a social event is just plain work. For my husband, I do it more than I'm comfortable with.
Like you, I was blessed today at lunch with a friend. I hadn't looked forward to it at all, but ended up having a great day. I was blessed.