Tuesday, January 24, 2012

01/24/12 The self-pity party

Job 21:4-22
As I read Job express his views on how unfair it is the wicked thrive - I then chew on verse 22 "But who are we to tell God how to run his affairs? He's dealing with matters that are way over our heads." Kinda puts things in perspective. Only He can see the whole paradigm.

It is my having faith and trust the He will make things right - He will seek/obtain revenge. Although I feel so vulnerable, I know I am taking steps to relinquish control (as though I actually have control lol). To focus on Him. What I can do for Him. Not wallow in self-pity - to rise above that and live for Him. Focus on Him - not compare or covet. Gets me in trouble every time. He takes care of me and provides what I need and many times what I want. It isn't about the stuff or the drama - it's about the spirit and souls.

My deepest prayer for the past year has/is to let go of all the anger and bitterness. To be free from it so when I encounter persons who "press the buttons of the past", I remain unfazed. I remain strong in Him, I remain so strong in Him that none of the Gifts of the Spirit do I allow to be robbed - particularly my Gift of Joy. I yearn to live in Him - drinking in the Gifts of the Spirit - wallowing in them - consuming them until they consume me - I so want to be free of the anger and bitterness - Job 21:25 "Others die bitter and bereft, never getting a taste of happiness." I do not want to be one of the "others"...........

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