There are certain traits and habits chronically unhappy people seem to have mastered. But before diving in with you, let me preface this and say: we all have bad days, even weeks when we fall down in all seven areas. It is whom we have our foundation in that affects the outcome. A foundation either of ABBA or our "self"/world.
The difference between a happy and unhappy life is how often and how long we stay there.
Here are 7 qualities of chronically unhappy people.
1. Your default belief is that life is hard.
Happy people know life can be hard and tend to bounce through hard times with an attitude of curiosity versus victimhood. They take responsibility for how they got themselves into a mess, and focus through the leading and help of ABBA, to move through it as soon as possible. It is called confess, repent (complete turn around) and move forward.
Perseverance towards problem-solving versus complaining over circumstances is a symptom of a happy person. Unhappy people see themselves as victims of life and stay stuck in the "look what happened to me" attitude versus finding a way through and out the other side.
2. You believe most people can't be trusted.
I won't argue that healthy discernment is important, but most happy people are trusting of their fellow man. They believe in the good in people, versus assuming everyone is out to get them. Generally open and friendly towards people they meet, happy people foster a sense of community around themselves and meet new people with an open heart.
Unhappy people are distrustful of most people they meet and assume that strangers can't be trusted. Unfortunately this behavior slowly starts to close the door on any connection outside of an inner-circle and thwarts all chances of meeting new friends. It blinds them from seeing the person ABBA has put into their path. Either for their needs or the other person. It hinders the role of being His Warrior.
3. You concentrate on what's wrong in this world versus what's right.
There's plenty wrong with this world, no arguments here, yet unhappy people turn a blind eye to what's actually right in this world and instead focus on what's wrong. You can spot them a mile away, they'll be the ones complaining and responding to any positive attributes of our world with "yeah but". They are the ones who are attending "the pity party".
Happy people are aware of global issues, but balance their concern with also seeing what's right. I like to call this keeping both eyes open. Unhappy people tend to close one eye towards anything good in this world in fear they might be distracted from what's wrong. Happy people keep it in perspective. They know our world has problems and they also keep an eye on Heaven. This world is but a temporary place.
4. You compare yourself to others and harbor jealousy.
Unhappy people believe someone else's good fortune steals from their own. They don't trust ABBA has enough goodness to go around and constantly compare yours against theirs. This leads to jealousy and resentment.
5. You strive to control your life.
There's a difference between control and striving to achieve our goals. Happy people take steps daily to achieve their goals, but realize in the end, there's very little control over what life throws their way.
Unhappy people tend to micromanage in effort to control all outcomes and fall apart in dramatic display when life throws a wrench in their plan. Happy people can be just as focused, yet still have the ability to go with the flow and not melt down when life delivers a curve-ball. Resting in the confidence, when grounded in Him they know He is in complete control. Therefore, nothing else matters.
The key here is to be goal-oriented and focused, but allow room for letting life happen without falling apart when the best laid plans go awry- because they will. Going in His direction is what happy people have as plan A, thus eliminating a need for plan B.
6. You consider your future with worry and fear.
There's only so much rent space between your ears. Unhappy people fill their thoughts with what could go wrong versus what might go right.
Happy people take on a healthy dose of delusion and allow themselves to daydream about what they'd like to have life unfold for them. Confident in knowing ABBA wants only the best for them. Unhappy people fill that head space with constant worry and fear.
Happy people experience fear and worry, but make an important distinction between feeling it and living it. When fear or worry crosses a happy person's mind, they'll ask themselves if there's an action that can be taken to prevent their fear or worry from happening (there's responsibility again) and they take it. They lay it down at the feet of our ABBA. Letting Him have it. (Not going back to pick it up either.) If not, they realize they're spinning in fear, exactly where satan wants them to be.
7. You fill your conversations with gossip and complaints.
Unhappy people like to live in the past. What's happened to them and life's hardships are their conversation of choice. When they run out of things to say, they'll turn to other people's lives and gossip.
Happy people live in the now and dream about the future. You can feel their positive vibe from across the room. They're excited about something they're working on, grateful for what they have and dreaming about the possibilities of life ABBA will be sending them through. In the ways they will be used as His Warriors.
Obviously none of us are perfect. We're all going to swim in negative waters once in a while, but what matters is how long we stay there and how quickly we focus back on our Father. Practicing His directions daily is what sets happy people apart from unhappy people. It isn't about doing everything perfectly. It is focusing on His Grace and Mercy, not playing the martyr. Not being filled with bitterness, anger, elements of the world, but being filled with Him.
Walk, fall down, get back up again. And yes, we will repeat until becoming perfect in Heaven. It's in the getting back up again where all the difference resides. And our ABBA is with us in every step.