Our Bible Study group is going through "A Wardrobe from The King" - putting on The Armor of God. This has to be one of the best studies I have done in years. He has brought me to this place I am today, knowing that I would need this particular study.
Nothing is by chance.
He has total control in all things.
He knew my heart was at the place that I would be receptive and transform to equipping myself with His Armor each and every day. Through the trials and tribulations I have been asking Him to remove the sin from my heart.
Asking? No begging.
I so want and desire to be more like Him. By "cutting away the calluses from my heart", I am finally able to see and rejoice in Him in all things. He is everywhere!
My calluses were the result of picking up doubt and letting it escalate into sins. These sins had become a part of my heart and were affecting my vision. Being so willfully hardheaded in believing the lies of the world and not having Trust in His Truth. It was affecting every single aspect of my life - including my relationship with Him.
Instead of putting on His Armor, I was putting on my self-designed original.
So much like the fashion knockoffs you can purchase by black market. They may look much like the original, but they aren't as well made, lesser quality products, and flaws galore when you really check it out.
I had fooled myself into thinking my design was better equipped for the battles ahead.
I had convinced myself that I needed to be in control and handle the situations that came up. That was "my" job.
Until I had finally given over my "self", I was so concentrated on keeping up my design, I was missing Him all around me. Everything about me was focused on getting revenge or defense. I wasn't living a good life. My life was miserable. The sick, ugh feeling, never left the pit of my stomach. Fear, bitterness - were only a few of my constant companions.
Finally, I heard Him loud and clear. "So now "Deby", what do you think God expects from you? Just this: Live in his presence in holy reverence, follow the road He sets out for you, love Him, serve God, your God, with everything you have in you, obey the commandments and regulations of God that I’m commanding you today—live a good life."
Love Him, serve Him, with everything I have in me. Follow the road He "sets" out for me.
Finally - put on "His" armor. Let Him take care of the fight.
"Live a good life".