"God, your God, is testing you to find out if you totally love Him with everything you have in you. You are to follow only God, your God, hold Him in deep reverence, keep His commandments, listen obediently to what He says, serve Him—hold on to Him for dear life!" (13:3-4)
Riding towards Home!
Holding on to Him for dear life!
It is my outlook on this ride which will determine my attitude.
If I have trust and faith in Him - we are in for an exciting adventure.
If my trust and faith is in myself, others, or something - well - fear is my guide.
I will not be eagerly looking ahead, trying to see around the next bend in excitement. I will be clinging to the rocks, trying to keep the raft from going forward. Wet, cold, shaking, a terrified wreck. Not only holding onto the rocks, but also trying to keep everything inside the raft. Completely oblivious that He is in the raft, due to being focused to what is going on around me. Not focused on Him.
Exhausted and miserable comes to mind when picturing this.
But! In allowing Him to take the lead, I see excitement, joy, freedom.
Even if we are in the middle of hidden boulders, I am at peace knowing He is in control of our raft.
And all I have to do is hold on!
That is the best part.
You know.
The knowing without a doubt.
He is holding onto me so tightly I can not be wrenched from His grasp.
Unless I pry off His fingers and jump.
And then, He doesn't ride on by leaving me behind in His wake. He is keeping the raft there, waiting for me to figure out I am drowning on my own. Waiting for me to come to my senses and see the raft and Him, reaching out to pull me back in the instant my hand reached out to Him and we then continue the ride. Together.
Unfortunately, I have and will, jump out numerous times.
Doesn't matter the water - rough or peaceful - for some reason, I believe I can do better outside the raft.
Through Scripture He tells me over and over, "Deby - That’s where we are right now. So cut away the thick calluses from your heart and stop being so willfully hardheaded - get back into the raft." Come on! We have a ride to enjoy.
It has taken too much time, but finally I have ridden with Him to the place where I am thankful for trials and tribulations of this ride. It is at the end of each hurdle I am walking closer "in" Him. He has transformed my heart to see His glory in all. He has taken my hand and led me away from the "self pity" party I was attending.
I see now all tests are much like the boulders we encounter on our ride. He is able to maneuver around them with such skill and then, they are behind us. He is in total control of our raft in this journey called life.
Through Christ I draw such strength knowing He was tested in ways I will never be and being so totally in love with God - He passed. He didn't take things personal - everything was about God and our relationship with God. He wasn't about seeking revenge, seeking His own way, He was about Love - no matter what.
How His heart broke, and breaks, for the sorrows our God experiences because of our brokenness. Because of the times we have/are jumping out of the raft.
"God, my God, who rescued me from the rapids, who redeemed me from a world of slavery and put me in our raft on which God, my God, has commanded me to ride. Purge the evil from my company." (13:5)
My prayers are for Him to continue testing me, so I am totally loving Him with everything I have within me. I want only to hold on to Him for dear life.
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