Whatever time I have left is spent in death's waiting room. No more glimpses of God in the land of the living, No more meetings with my neighbors, no more rubbing shoulders with friends. This body I inhabit is taken down and packed away like a camper's tent. Like a weaver, I've rolled up the carpet of my life as God cuts me free of the loom And at day's end sweeps up the scraps and pieces. (Isaiah 38:10-12)
Ironic when you think about what a big part of living it is.
From the moment we are conceived, we begin the process of dying. While in our youth, we don't look at death as one of the things we will experience. A close family friend died from leukemia when he was much younger than me, and I didn't think about death happening to me. I know from an early age I didn't understand everything about death, I still don't, but did recognize it meant separation. I know there were those I wanted to be with, yet couldn't because of death.
Throughout the years, death has been a visitor in the path I have walked. We have two children whom I never held in my arms, only in my womb and heart, but know ABBA has them in His care. I am able to look back and see many instances where death was near, for self and others, but ABBA held him back.
Death. Not a guest I particularly care to entertain in this journey of living.
At times with the years have come the moments of wishful thinking. My body is a constant reminder of making its way to death and I yearn for the youthfulness in movement, lack of aches and pains, the lack of wrinkles and sags. My mind isn't as sharp as it used to be - which is scary when knowing it never was much more than a dull knife anyway! The hearing is missing out and the mind is substituting in parts of conversations. And each day the eyes grow dimmer with each blink.
And during all this, He has given me "glimpse of Him in the land of the living". I love being "young" in Him and experiencing the excitement of life. Of Divine Appointments He has lined up for me each moment. Of the joy in sharing life with His family. Of just the delight in all He has surrounded me with.
I can choose to go on this limited time journey either focused on Him or on "self". I can wallow in the puddles of self pity or skip through them laughing in the rains of life. I can turn my face upward under His Sonshine or sit in the caves of shadows. I can drag in my heels and sit right down in the comfort zone or run free in the meadows with Him. Playing tag with my Bestest Friend and knowing He will let me catch Him.
It is my free choice to drink in each moment He blesses me with or live in unquenched thirst.
Most important of all though, He has removed any fear or regret in my coming death.
ABBA has opened my eyes to see, when in Him - death is actually a good thing.
Death is the last step in this journey before I am with Him face to face - for eternity.