spreads malicious gossip (9:4)
That was me. Even though I was speaking in truth, things that had occurred, I was doing so in a malicious way. I was taking things personal, I was hurt, and I wanted to hurt back.
Amazing how quickly pride comes into the picture. I wanted bad things for them. I wanted to hurt them as they had hurt me.
Amazing how the ricochet process began.
"Ricochets are a hazard of shooting because the bullet that ricochets poses a danger of causing collateral damage to animals, objects, or even the person who fired the shot.
In rare cases, ricochets can return to the shooter".
My words of malice had returned to me. My heart was becoming bitter and angry. It was no longer just one person, it was numerous ones, whom I was taking many things said - personal. I had taken my eyes off of ABBA and focused on "self".
My life had become obsessed with the "wrongs" done to me. I felt it was my responsibility to have revenge. To defend myself. To expose the hidden.
Self-pride had created an ugly monster.
Thankfully, my ABBA took the bull by the horns and held me accountable. He brought me to my knees in confession and I have asked those I spoke against for forgiveness. Only because He has broken my self-pride, am I able to be at peace that some have extended it, others have not. To pray for them and love them through Him.
He has also led me to pray I will become like "water on a duck's back", when I am attacked.
He has shown me, it isn't me they are attacking, but Him.
This process of change He has done within my heart, has brought me closer to Him. It has given me a freedom I wouldn't exchange for anything. How amazing is He! He who can transform the ugly heart into His beauty.
So love loving my ABBA.