This morning before reading, He had me on my knees with my head in His lap. His arms wrapped around me as I wept. Tears of sorrow, repentance, regrets. I was making myself "at home" IN Him. I didn't want any distractions this morning before He spoke to me. I wanted/needed a focused mind and heart, to let Him have my full attention.
The tears I feel are more about how He is hurting. The regrets of choices that have led to today by people. I have such sorrow as I look at others in their pain. Pain has been such a constant. When looking at persons, who have tried/trying to cover up the results of serving self. Who are struggling right now because of a wrong turn. Those that do not have an intimate relationship with Him. Those that "think" they do because they go to church - sometimes - read His Word - sometimes and missing out the greatest Bestest Friend you will ever have. I am seeing the results of persons who have taken His Word and twisted it to meet their words - the results of that is a life of turmoil. It doesn't work. At all.
As I prayed, I couldn't help but speak aloud. Before I never wanted to do that in fear that satan would hear and know my weaknesses. "Not putting much faith in God there, Deby". Faith that He is bigger than satan and has His hedge of protection around me. God is fortifying me right now and I am so relying on His Word. Digging in. There are already signs of scabs being knocked off and wounds being reopened. Scabs there because they have never been allowed to heal properly - through Him not self. There has to be this cleansing of me so I may be a vessel for Him. I can so see that satan is in the middle of peoples lives causing great damage. But, I also see His people (including myself), in the midst of storms, He has given us peace - even joy. Actually, all the fruits of the Spirit. Tammy told me they just studied Gentleness in group. It means "controlled strength". I love that......Controlled STRENGTH - not weakness. I can feel I have that too. He is also showing me that satan is the enemy here. He will use anything and anyone to attack us. We have to remember, this isn't personal - it's spiritual.
"please, just one more thing: Bless my family; keep your eye on them always. You've already as much as said that you would, Master God! Oh, may your blessing be on my family permanently!" (2Sam 7:29)
I find such encouragement through His Word today. He knew I would need these exact Words on this day, this morning, this moment. How awesome is that!!!! I know I am not reading more into it - I know it is Him speaking to me. To me. Through my own personal Love Letter from Him. That is why His Word is so alive. It is able to meet the needs of all who are IN it. When they need it.
The family that I have with Curt, Adam (even his future bride), Nichalas, Amber and our future generations "it's really blessed—blessed for good". I can say that with utmost confidence because He has promised me that. Because He is not only my Daddy - He is our Daddy. I can not express the joy, the relief, the blessings I have knowing we all walk In Him. That He is the Head of our Family.
I see that only through Christ are we able to bring others to Him and become His family. It is our job to make disciples for Him.
In all things He brings about His glory. Even in the middle of storms - He shines.
I am so thankful that my focus is on Him - so I am able to see Him shining through wreckage.
I am so thankful that my faith is In Him - so I am able to know He will carry us through to the other side.
I am so thankful that my trust is In Him - so I may live In His hope that He is my "I AM" and will do as He promises.