Thursday, April 19, 2012

"NO" - I Sam 26:1-27:7, I Chronicles 12:1-7, I Sam 27:8-29:11, I Chron 12:19, Psalm 56 - 04/18/12

"I'm proud to praise God,
proud to praise God.
Fearless now, I trust in God;
what can mere mortals do to me?
God, you did everything you promised,
and I'm thanking you with all my heart.
You pulled me from the brink of death,
my feet from the cliff-edge of doom.

Now I stroll at leisure with God in the sunlit fields of life." (Psalm 56:10-13)

"Now I stroll at leisure with God in the sunlit fields of life"

In the past few years God has taught me a very powerful, life sustaining word.


It used to be that I was a lot like a chicken with it's head cut off.  I said "yes" too often.  Part of it was because my heart was in it and I felt directed to.  Most of it though, in all honesty, was about being accepted.  Fitting in.  Being a part of something.  Even if my heart wasn't in it.  And then whatever "it" was - became a burden.  This burden would then stress me out, affect my role as a wife, mom, friend, etc.  And then life would become totally unbalanced.

The turning point came (and still is) when His Word seeped in and changed my heart.  Filled it actually.  It amazes me how He took the voids and filled them.  Recently, I was asked to decorate for the upcoming women's garden party at church.  I was going to be working with a woman who owns a decorating shop and really thought that would be nice getting to know her.  There was also a part of me that thought it would elevate me to another social circle.

I am being very transparent here - it was the part of me that wanted to belong to the "in" crowd.  I am still a work in progress!  And I say progress with great God-fidence! 

The funny thing He did and I am thankful that I recognized it - that I submitted to His lead and didn't plow on through - I wasn't coming up with any decorating ideas.  Usually He bombards me with them.  Not now. 

I knew that my heart wasn't in the right place to do this.  Our work schedule is very busy to say the least.  Last night was another night when we yet again got home at 8:30 and ate at 9:00.  I have many, many projects that need attended to in our home and outside.  I have no business being involved in an outside project.  There isn't any way I could do my best at it.  And that isn't the way I want to serve Him.

A good friend of mine gave me some great advice when I was thinking out loud to her about this.  I said I just didn't love the idea of doing the decorating.  She said, "then you need to step back and let someone else do it that would love to".  I did and feel so much lighter!  I love the feeling of being able to actually enjoy life because, most often

 "Now I stroll at leisure with God in the sunlit fields of life"

That is pretty much my guideline to saying "yes" anymore.  After I pray about it, I check to see if I would "love" to serve in that way.  Even jobs I don't particularly care for - do I love to do it.  You see, when I find myself "loving" to do it - I know not only is my heart in the right place - so is my focus. 

I know then I am loving it because I am serving Him - not self. 


Julia said...

This sounds so familiar! I was a yes person for so long, and was miserable! I was listening to the wrong person. For the first time in 35 + years I am saying no. I am not working, God has been trying to tell me to "be still and know that I am God". I was just not listening , or trusting. God had always opened a door if it's right concerning work, and the jobs literally fell in my lap. Twice the door has been closed, jobs that dissolved due to cooperate downsizing. The one I had in between was at a place I said I would never work for,and now I know why.I was making great money, but I was sooo miserable there, dreading to walk in the door everyday.It was not a good work environment to say the least. Being still is a new one for me, not that I'm doing nothing, cause plenty has been neglected around here due to my previous work.
But, for the first time, my focus is on Him, then my marriage, etc. In the past it has been work, then etc. I am learning to trust in Him, fully, and He has never let me down! Thanks again for starting this blog, it has been literally a "Godsend" to me!

deby said...

I am loving the growth I am being blessed with through you! Thank you! Another thing I have learned about saying "no", the extra time I get to spend with my boyfriend....His initials are Curt Holtschlag.